Feb 16 is a HELL DAY to me!

Posted by Nouran20
So today is my ex bday
I didnt wish him a happy birthday
I took time asking god to make me not panic nor grab phone and start texting him and try finding him on facebook and sending him a lovely happy birthday card with flowers and dancing faces..ahhh

I didnt do it!
I cried a little in bed feeling pain in my heart/chest..really really painful
what really stopped me frm contacting him is that i saw on his status that hes thanking his gf for her bday wishes to him

I felt like there's a huge brick wall between us and that I shouldnt utter a word.

Who thinks what i did is the right thing so far??

Posted by aquasnoz
Soldier on Nouran! On that note you just reminded me of something and also you have greater humility than I do because I would've defriended him on facebook already!

Posted by Nouran20
im feeling so happy now im getting positive feedback from everyone

Posted by Scenic

Posted by Nouran20
im feeling so happy now im getting positive feedback from everyone

click to expand

Awwww
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@scenic
Yup I've made it this far. I see his statuses and he sees mine (on BLACKBERRY MESSENGER) and I never comment nor talk to him. Recently he commented on a picture of my cat saying "thats a cute cat" I didnt even reply. Not even thank u
Cuz i realized whats the point of replying? Once i reply he wont say anythin further.
And I remember a few months back I was going to London and even though we wernt 2gthr at that time, I talked to him said hi and asked him if he needs anything from here where I live to take to him in London. He read what I wrote and didnt even reply back.
It just hurts me a lot that I tried to b nice to him and he never even replies. It makes me sad and I dont wana start a convo with him and end up getting no replies and crying all night AGAIN!
He keeps saying he respects me and that he would be more than happy to meet up with me in london and show me the country (he told that to my sis btw) it all sounds nice but come on what does his actions say?
If he cant reply cuz of his gf or wutever reason he has in his head then how come he says its ok he wouldnt mind meeting up with me—?
I just got no clue.
Im soooooooooooo sooooooooooooo glad that i can finally hold myself back in past months from not texting him. I try to keep my tears to myself. there's no one to cry to. Im so shy from my mom and sis to see me cry over a guy. So i just do it alone.