Friends with Benefits with Aqua man now in love with him

Posted by PiscesArt
You lost his respect by agreeing to be with him even though he can just give you sex.and you continue to play along. you need to have your own standards.if he cant give you what you need,leave! The damage is already done and i doubt he sees you as a marriege material type of woman. You are not confiden,aserted and you dont have standards,men see that and they will use it in their advantage untill you say NO.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
If he wanted a relationship, you'd be in one. But he isn't, so you won't be. If you want a serious relationship, you need to untangle this mess and find someone who shares that goal.

He considers you a friend first and that's why it was ok to meet his parents.

ever put love/relationship as a priority, and that's what makes us similar, we both value career the most. But j know what you re saying...I do love myself but can't resist this...

Anyways..thanks a lot!!

Posted by leowww

Posted by Notnuts
Thank you PiscesArt! Brutal truth I guess...I just need someone to slap me in the face and wake up from lala land sometimes..



😢 i have to argue that not that I don't have standards, but we are really very good friends in the first place despite romantic shit, and we've had THE conversation before and we said we never want to not see each other again cuz we like each other and care for one another a lot. He's not using me as sex for sure, I'm actually more sexual than him...but we don't really care about it rather cuddle and sleep together.

Everyone online says if some guy is not ready to commit or doesn't know what he wants in life then should just leave...but then who stays for those guys? Maybe I'm just being silly

He said before that most girls just wanted either sex or relationship, and once they know he's not a relationship type of guy girls would just leave..that was before I told him about my feelings. So he never had long enough time to commit to anyone cuz people just leave, for their own goods right?

But isn't love more than that? (God I sound so cheesy I can't stand this I don't usually talk like this I'm a cold heartless Scorpio bitch most of the time

Posted by PiscesArt
You lost his respect by agreeing to be with him even though he can just give you sex.and you continue to play along. you need to have your own standards.if he cant give you what you need,leave! The damage is already done and i doubt he sees you as a marriege material type of woman. You are not confiden,aserted and you dont have standards,men see that and they will use it in their advantage untill you say NO.

At least he's being honest....I'll give him that

but if I'm going to say ily to a guy and his answer is ...don't fall in love with me im still looking for the one. ..

I'm packing my shit right then and there leaving with my head held high

love yourself more girl

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...as much as I wanna deny..I know you're right 😢 I'll try to keep distance from him and see if I can get myself out of this! Thanks so much

Posted by PiscesArt

Posted by Notnuts
Thank you PiscesArt! Brutal truth I guess...I just need someone to slap me in the face and wake up from lala land sometimes..



😢 i have to argue that not that I don't have standards, but we are really very good friends in the first place despite romantic shit, and we've had THE conversation before and we said we never want to not see each other again cuz we like each other and care for one another a lot. He's not using me as sex for sure, I'm actually more sexual than him...but we don't really care about it rather cuddle and sleep together.

Everyone online says if some guy is not ready to commit or doesn't know what he wants in life then should just leave...but then who stays for those guys? Maybe I'm just being silly

I was in a similar situation when my ex came back and he just didnt want a relationahip back probably becouse he put all other things before me..job,partying,friends etc.. if a guy does that or even tells you he doesnt want to commit,it is true. You cant do anything else but to take care for yourself and move on as much as it hurts. I know how you feel. But it is the brutal truth. I wouldnt waste my time with that..he is not respecting you for real.if he did he wouldnt bang you although he knows how much you care for him and he conrinuly still uses you for his thrills. Dont let him do that. Please leave,you wull find a bwtter man,you are yung and beautiful,he is just not worthy. Trust me.

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Posted by PiscesArt
But isnt it better to know where you stand and not living and hoping everyday a guy will change and your feelings are coming bitter and sadness is stronger day after day..and in meantime he can bang others and you dont even know that,and while your sticking with him you are missing someone who you can meet and will be far better then him and give you all the love and commitment you wish so much. .

You are killing yourself slowly. And the longer you will play along,the harder your sorrow will be..for the guy who doesnt even love you back. Seriously?!

iving together just stay over sometimes. Yeah we regularly have std checkup tho, I'm very cautious with that too. Thanks!

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by PiscesArt
But isnt it better to know where you stand and not living and hoping everyday a guy will change and your feelings are coming bitter and sadness is stronger day after day..and in meantime he can bang others and you dont even know that,and while your sticking with him you are missing someone who you can meet and will be far better then him and give you all the love and commitment you wish so much. .

You are killing yourself slowly. And the longer you will play along,the harder your sorrow will be..for the guy who doesnt even love you back. Seriously?!

He's gonna let her stay as long as she wants. Not necessarily because he's an ass, but because he's set his boundaries and figures she's a grown ass woman, making her own decisions. Sadly, that gives her hope.

You still live with him, Nutsy? Either way, it's not a guarantee he's *not* sexing up other people. Know you said that's not a huge thing for him, but an STD would be a huge thing for you. Take care of yourself.

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Posted by sultrykitty
He'll probably be destroyed when you break it off but if he comes back you'll have no doubt where you stand.

This was my experience.

Posted by Notnuts
You mean if he comes back it means he wants to commit? What does "come back" really means tho....I never really break it off just say we'll stay just friends and then went back to FWB again. So

What was your experience? If you don't mind sharing

Posted by sultrykitty
He'll probably be destroyed when you break it off but if he comes back you'll have no doubt where you stand.

This was my experience.

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Posted by workingirl
An Aqua guy like that is perhaps the biggest mess a girl can get into 😄 I agree with sultrykitty, you have to let him go, but I know no one can force this, or advise even, but trust me, it will happen, because no matter how big a doormat a girl can be an undecided Aqua guy's level of annoyingness can top that 😄 So don't focus on willfully destroying anyhing. One of you will destroy it, most probably you. Focus on what happens after that. If you love this guy give him a lot of time. Ie. don't marry the next guy in a month maybe. I do agree that everyone needs to look out for themselves, and all of that, but when it comes to love I just don't believe it starts with what's good for me. It should start with a gigantic amount of love, affection, enthusiasm etc for someone else. Call me old fashioned. : )

, thank you!! I totally get all that and know that's what I'm supposed to do..I guess I'm just too afraid of losing him and the idea that he's gonna meet someone else that can replace me...then again I would tell myself "if he can replace you with someone else then you should be able to walk away cuz he's not meant to be yours"...



😢 guess I'll just need to risk that?

Posted by seraph

Posted by Notnuts
So we've been doing it for a year now since last September. we're really good friends, he doesn't hang out with me just for sex cuz really he isn't a big sex guy..we care for each other a lot and we literally lived together for more than half year, but we are never exclusive. I started having feelings for him and told him I love him this June, which made him flip out and say we can't see each other any more becuz he feels wrong letting me fall for him when he can't love me back. He claims he likes me a ton and is special to him, he hasn't been in a relationship for a long time and this is the closest he gets in a while.

Should I wait for him to be ready to settle down? He doesn't know what he wants now, he's 29 and I'm 22. I've been with a 37 yr old ex boyfriend before and I feel like I'm more mature relationship wise. He's still just having fun and playing the field and I'm okay with that ...but just curious if I get a chance to turn this into a serious relationship in the future? Any Aqua guy can give me any thoughts and advice please? Appreciate a ton!! Thanks!

Lots of love to my Aqua friends, but do you really need an Aquarius to give you an answer here?

When you post about "concerns" in a situation where the other party in a FWB is doing all they can to have their FWB cake and eat it too (because FWB), and you then ask whether they are going to simply walk away from fun friendship and (what I assume is) great sex, you really need to carefully re-read your post.

You already have your answer, even before posting your question.

If you really want to turn the tables on someone who is just too comfy with the way things are, then change the game. The price of poker has to go up. Drastically. Quit the FWB stuff and just maintain the friendship and be single and happy. This creates an opportunity for him to take notice. Just keep in mind that he's gotten so accustomed to this situation that he might (not meaning any harm) try to work the situation and say and do what needs to be done to get even crumbs of what he had with you before.

Create space, distance, and declare (by actions) that sex with you is to be *respected*, and is to occur only in the context of actual commitment. And only then can you really find out what he's after. There are no guarantees, though.

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Posted by Notnuts
Yeah....but I've seen other threads about Aquarius and all say that it takes slow and needs patience and persistence....which I have a bunch..so wondering if that's the case? Is he just not mature enough and needs more time to figure it out? He's at a transition point of his career right now and been stressed a lot, so doesn't know what he wants and is just figuring things out. (He's been a student for a long time since he just finished Phd this Janunary)

I just wanna be next to him and be there for him when he's upset or stressed and needs someone to talk to..guess same thing as a best friend..

I mean we're clearly not just friends with benefits..we apartment hunted together, went to furniture shopping for his place, and met each other's parents..etc

Idk he's just confusing