How to deal..

I met an aqua man very recently, like early this month. Already we have spent a lot of romantic time together, he wanted to meet my parents one night, so he did, and he always wants to stay over and sleep at mine. But just Saturday he says, oohh, it feels like we're dating, but we arent..he's not ready because of his studies and prev relationship from a year ago. I say ok fine, i appreciate the honesty, but from now on to avoid any hurt or confusion, we cant be in any way lovey dovey etc, stop talking about me to your mum, and definitely no more sleeping over. I told him i AM ready to date and be in a monogamous relationship, so im not waiting about with false hope of him changing his mind, or trying to manipulate into something he doesnt want. But Sunday we go for lunch, and to the movies, and he is just touching me and talking to me and holding me like its our last ever moments together. Come the hell on..and at the end its like he cant let me go. Within an hour i have 2 messages about us doing something together next weekend already. Its like hes completely torn inside himself..im not asking for advice on how he feels, i know its more than FWB, he said it himself. Im unsure about the time we will spend together from now on. Im dont want to be treated like a queen, and reminded every 2 seconds that its nothing special, but neither do i completely want to break what we have off. So, do you think we could just be friends based on whats gone on? I could do it )i think)! Any input, ta!

Stick to your guns on this one. Don't let him monopolize your time if you guys are not on the same page as far as being in a monogamous relationship. You will save yourself plenty of heartache and you won't become a DXPNET stat on the Aqua boards.

Im pretty sure that he isnt interested in spending his time with anyone else in a romantic sense, i guess i feel that in his ideal world, i would be loyal to him while he figures his stuff out. Im going to give it this week to figure out my thoughts and how i can deal with the situation, its sucha shame because together we are on F-I-R-E.

**can i just add some randon info to the thread** when we went to his his yesterday to feed his cats before going out, i saw in his room, and when i stayed there before i borrowed one of his T- shirts to sleep in. Its still on top of the pillow on "my" side of his bed. He cleaned up my place while i was taking a shower, he has told his friends and family about me, he has checked out weekends away, like European city breaks. WTF? can you maybe understand a bit more why i could be confused??!

The next time he says "we aren't dating" I would say "then, just so you know, I will date other people". Don't let him have his cake and eat it to. Be open to other men.

Sounds like he wants what you're giving him without having to take any responsibility for it. Why buy the whole cow when he can have the milk for free?

Guys like that just piss me off.

I'm just meaning do something to make him step up. Light a fire underneath him and let him know he's likely to lose out.

Posted by truecap
The next time he says "we aren't dating" I would say "then, just so you know, I will date other people". Don't let him have his cake and eat it to. Be open to other men.

I really want to do something to make him step up, but honestly, if i wasnt interested in this guy, i wouldnt be looking for anyone else right now, so i dont want to start any game playing. Im not into this aqua because i need to be in a relationship, i honestly just am so happy around him. Hmm, so, maybe i could just keep playing it cool, and be a little harder to get, damn its a fine and very complicated line 😉

I think you're spot on with how you feel about him. To me it seems like he cares for you a lot but there are reasons why he can't commit at the moment. Just know that it's not you but HIM. Question is do you really want to deal with this at this very moment?

To me it seems like he can't help but want to spend time with you he is perhaps telling you all these things because in some respect he doesn't want to hurt you or bog you down with his problems. Whatever it is like I said it's all him. He needs to figure it out, you can try confronting him like trucap said or just pull away and see what happens. To top it off if you do remain friends with him, cut off this FWB relationship and see what he does and things will probably be clearer then.

Personally I don't like making people wait and equally dislike waiting on others and that's where I detach from people.

He doesn't seem to be dating anyone else so maybe he says that because the emotionsl obligations scare him.

Off with his head!.. If he wants you he will step up, until that give nothing, Simples


JKS! coming from me! 😛

You know, i know he cant be in love with me so quickly, but i think he's pretty damn close, and i can just see it in him..that inner struggle is all over his face. He has Pisces moon, venus and mars, so whatever he is trying to hide emotionally cant help but gush out of him. I think he is half scared, half just wishing we had never met, but yet he cant deny how amazing it is when we are spending time together. Time will fix it 🙂

OMG, yeah, you just said "out loud" the thoughts in my head. I guess i have to verbalise it, the worst part 😢 But im the type of person who doesnt stay friends..i have friends, and really good ones so i dont need any more (especially where benefits might creep in down the line)!! Amen!!

So actually i just told him that i couldnt go on in a "FWB" situation, even though we were supposedly more than that. I just said we want different things etc and he said he understood that. SOo great, no drama, no fighting, just let it be, and remember what a beautiful thing it was 🙂

I bet ya a dollar he'll be back eventually and ready for more!

No no noooooo!! I dont want him..he's not suitable = pain in the heart and soul. I mean it, there are no bad tmes to remember (there werent any), so i can be at peace with myself that we both took the right amount from the situation before it had potential to turn nasty.

what do this aqua guy's actions say? Never mind what he says. He may say he isnt ready but his action sure do.

what do this aqua guy's actions say? Never mind what he says. He may say he isnt ready but his action sure do.

Holy batman. Are you that libra girl I met the other day? haha jokes jokes.

I think for once I'll assume what he thinks because I have ALL those placements. I think it has to do with that previous relationship, something happened that forced himself to look deeper inside about his own feelings regarding relationships. I wouldn't take the bundle of love oozing out as anything more because even I can tell you I cannot help feel and act like that towards someone I didn't think was the one and was simply super fun to hang around with.

Yes it's stupid and annoying but it can be that one thing that feels 'off' that will make the infamous 'swim away' saying. Difference is our core is Aqua and it's only the detaching of feelings, we remove that component. One month is too soon for me personally to gauge anything. I can't give you a magical time frame on when we're ready.

One thing I've learnt to do is to watch that side of me. I genuinely just want to have fun with someone I like and not think about it all so I remove all components that might be deemed a 'relationship' I won't take them out to do romantic things, I won't have sex with them let alone meet their family. What I'm starting to see is even if I DO and THINK I'm doing that some girls that I hang out with seems to get that vibe. Chalk it up to the pisces in the chart.

Want to know the more annoying thing? If you say it's over he'll believe it and it doesn't matter that deep down underneath that he had the greatest feelings for you, he will never tell you. Like you, to him you're just another happy memory. He might try and contact you time and a time again but rather than thinking things could've been nasty he would rather be thinking I wonder why she pulled out of something so fun because we're not negative thinkers.

That aside, I think you're doing the right thing for yourself because we're an emotional mess.

Out of curiosity what's his Mercury?

Im hurting like hell, but imagine how much worse it would be down the line..ouch! I AM a libra, and these situations are just so ugly. Here is what he said:

(Name), you are amazing. You are an amazing, amazing woman. Its such a shame but i respect your decision. I accept it with some sadness and regret obviously, but mostly with fondness. Another time, another place? No drama..as you wish. All the very, very, very best to you. Thank you so much for being a part of my life - it was great! It really was. You are beautiful, i feel really happy and sad at the very same time. Goodbye little princess, you were truly gorgeous. Xx

What can i say? I told him that he was just a treasure and that i could so easily have loved him, but im not prepared to go down that road.

Sniff sniff, i hope this sadness hurries up and goes away.

wow, sola, he really sounds like a 'freebird', lots of air.
i'm about to post some freebird music/lyrics and the lyrics really remind me of those freebird men. lol
sigh dxp and its antics.

Aquasnoz, he has his mercury in aquarius..whats its significance??

so the aqua came round to mine last night, OMG! What a confused son of a b****!! He does love me, he obviously didnt say it, but everything about his body, his touch and his kiss says it!!Lol, he was like "i dont know what to say, so lets not say anything, lets just enjoy the moment and not think about anything". Ummmm ok!! And we usually see each other on a Wednesday, but Sunday he told me he would be busy with football and seeing friends, but suddenly all plans are cancelled..so that he can see me. He called his mum to tell her we werent seeing each other anymore,his sister too.

I told him is its just sex fine, but he shouldnt involve me in his family, we canT have anymore dates, so lets see how it goes now. He was trying to make me jealous, talking about who he will marry (not me)..i know that translates as its ME!! Maybe i can detach myself just yet, not when its still soooo gooooooood!

**cant detach***

Keep us posted, Sola!

So last night, the aqua (who isnt my bf and who doesnt want committment)asks me when i want to go and see his parents house..i reply whenever they are gone on a trip or whatever, you can show me around. Tonight we are going to a concert and my brothers (because its his band) and sister will be there and a few friends of mine. He asked me what i have told them about him, like how i have defined our "relationship" to other people in case he offends anyone?? Then later he wanted to do some other stuff that i felt crossed the line between FWB and proper bf/gf. And he says but I AM your boyfriend. I have seen him 4 times this week, he texts me everyday..he's almost there isnt he..in LURRRVVVVEEE 🙂