evecap
@evecap
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 3
How'd you know is an Aqua man is serious abt you
Well one, what's more important than him sharing his past experiences with you is what he claims to have LEARNED from them. If this guy is just telling you bunches of stories & yet ending them with "the end" without really explaining how he's changed or what he's learned after it all, then there's a good chance that you're right in that you might be just another "experience." Hell, he's probably connected with ALL of them from the past. But him simply connecting with them or feeling interest in them didn't motivate him to change. The fact that all of these "short term romances" are a reoccuring pattern in his life shows that he's still not ready.
A man that's not ready for the big leagues can like a woman all day long, BUT if he's not ready, it won't matter how much he likes her & especially if he has no plans on changing what caused him to lose other women in the past. Aqua men observe any & everyone! It's not just something they only do with certain people. No, it's in their blood to observe & really take in anyone/everyone they have serious conversations with. There's no doubt that he really MIGHT be feeling you but as you've said, him really liking you won't mean a damn if he's not a changed man and/or ready to step it up.
Aqua men, when they're really into someone will generally open up alot about themselves. Usually they let the other person do all of the opening up b/c it gives them time/room to really figure out whether they feel the other person is worth it or not. Once they start sharing THEIR stories with you, it means that they atleast trust you enough/a little bit. But then again, don't be fooled. There are certain things that all Aquas share with ANYONE, even though when they're sharing those things it might appear as if what they're sharing is somehow "secretive" or "Exclusive."
Aquas when they really like someone will start to want to spend more time/energy with the other person. They'll ask lots of questions & even better, they'll come straight out & tell you!
A man that's not ready for the big leagues can like a woman all day long, BUT if he's not ready, it won't matter how much he likes her & especially if he has no plans on changing what caused him to lose other women in the past. Aqua men observe any & everyone! It's not just something they only do with certain people. No, it's in their blood to observe & really take in anyone/everyone they have serious conversations with. There's no doubt that he really MIGHT be feeling you but as you've said, him really liking you won't mean a damn if he's not a changed man and/or ready to step it up.
Aqua men, when they're really into someone will generally open up alot about themselves. Usually they let the other person do all of the opening up b/c it gives them time/room to really figure out whether they feel the other person is worth it or not. Once they start sharing THEIR stories with you, it means that they atleast trust you enough/a little bit. But then again, don't be fooled. There are certain things that all Aquas share with ANYONE, even though when they're sharing those things it might appear as if what they're sharing is somehow "secretive" or "Exclusive."
Aquas when they really like someone will start to want to spend more time/energy with the other person. They'll ask lots of questions & even better, they'll come straight out & tell you!
^^ those first two paragraphs are true. i have not asked him what he's learned from those experiences. i just didnt want to seem so prying so early on (we've only been out for a week). and i'm abit reluctant about opening up abt myself, as in, these things takes time and I'm someone who takes awhile to warm up to someone, get comfy and start being myself. I'm still very cautious and quiet around him, im not 100% the real me yet. if we have the "ex" talk again, i will ask him.
not sure if this means anything, but he tells me alot about himself and his problems when he's down as well - which, according to him he doesnt really share with people. and yes, we've been spending quite abit of time tog. usually he contacts me first...
anyway, thanks (:
not sure if this means anything, but he tells me alot about himself and his problems when he's down as well - which, according to him he doesnt really share with people. and yes, we've been spending quite abit of time tog. usually he contacts me first...
anyway, thanks (:
^ how is that creepy? i enjoy ppl who are exact replicas of me as well. -.-
to each his own.
to each his own.
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Posted by FeistyAquarianPosted by evecap
^ how is that creepy? i enjoy ppl who are exact replicas of me as well. -.-
to each his own.
Not gonna lie, that would be creepy lol Two of me?? Shiiit I'd crap my pants!click to expand
😉 😉 i find it a turn on haha
@Eve: Welp, honey since HE'S the one initiating the conversations about his ex's then technically you wouldn't be prying by asking any questions. It'd be different if you 2 were on a candle lit dinner & you asked at the WRONG time. But oh honey, it's hard enough as it is to get someone thorougly talking about their past for longer than 5 minutes, especially if they're ashamed of it or worried about how their past will make conflict with the PRESENT image they are trying to sell you. If he starts the convo, he'd if anything be impressed that you were BOLD/BRAVE enough to ask any questions.
It's all in your delivery. If you ask the questions in a non-judgmental or demeaning way, he shouldn't have a problem with the idea of you wanting to know just a little more. And even if he did, honey you have the RIGHT to gage this man's past as much as possible b/c after all, it's only your HEART at stake here. If he's comfortable sharing such an uncomfortable topic/story with you then you shouldn't feel worried about asking the RIGHT questions. If he can tell, you can ask. If anything, you'd be surprised..he might actually appreciate you wanting him to dwelve a tiny bit more into his past. The more you get him talking, the more he's likely to slip up & reveal something that he previously wouldn't have had you just sucked it up & asked the right questions.
If this guy had a problem with you knowing, he wouldn't have brought up his past or his ex's within the 1st week of you 2 dating. Sure, having "that talk" IS EVENTUALLY important, BUT generally when someone brings those kinds of subjects up early on (And ESPECIALLY w/o being asked to), it's for a reason. It could be b/c his past is VERY much a part of who he still presently is. Hell, it also could be that his ex's/past are still heavy on his mind, thus he can't help BUT to conversate about it. Either way, be true to yourself. If you want to know & if your intentions for which you want to know are solid & harmless, then there should be NO shame in your game when it comes to getting those answers
@Val: I heart you too!
It's all in your delivery. If you ask the questions in a non-judgmental or demeaning way, he shouldn't have a problem with the idea of you wanting to know just a little more. And even if he did, honey you have the RIGHT to gage this man's past as much as possible b/c after all, it's only your HEART at stake here. If he's comfortable sharing such an uncomfortable topic/story with you then you shouldn't feel worried about asking the RIGHT questions. If he can tell, you can ask. If anything, you'd be surprised..he might actually appreciate you wanting him to dwelve a tiny bit more into his past. The more you get him talking, the more he's likely to slip up & reveal something that he previously wouldn't have had you just sucked it up & asked the right questions.
If this guy had a problem with you knowing, he wouldn't have brought up his past or his ex's within the 1st week of you 2 dating. Sure, having "that talk" IS EVENTUALLY important, BUT generally when someone brings those kinds of subjects up early on (And ESPECIALLY w/o being asked to), it's for a reason. It could be b/c his past is VERY much a part of who he still presently is. Hell, it also could be that his ex's/past are still heavy on his mind, thus he can't help BUT to conversate about it. Either way, be true to yourself. If you want to know & if your intentions for which you want to know are solid & harmless, then there should be NO shame in your game when it comes to getting those answers
@Val: I heart you too!
^ LOL. acts like me, dear. ahaha. someone who looks like me would be just plain creepy. 😛
@krysrenee: hey, thanks (: Yes, he brought up those topics i felt for a reason. a very good reason i think, though he wasn't explicit about it. he kept telling me what sort of a person he was at those times he was dating his exes, what sort of personality he had and what sort of personality he had now. he actually mentioned that one of them broke up with him cause he was boring. he says he can't help that side of him cause to him, he IS a boring person. he doesnt like to do much and likes introverted stuff. and he told me that upfront.
i dont think my intentions for wanting to know are that legitimate or solid. im a naturally jealous and insecure person, so anything that i'd ask him abt his exes would be something borne out of jealousy and insecurity, its not anything solid or good, in a sense. i dont want him to think im a psycho. because the insecurity problems lie with me, not him. and he made it a point to say that although they are friends (he gave a fairly good reason why, and judging by his character its completely legitimate) he doesnt have that "Feeling" for them anymore. it was just an experience for him.
he shows me and tells me alot of things about his family and his hometown and his personal trips and all that too. so its not limited to his exes. i just appreciate his honesty, cause ALOT of men i know are very iffy talking abt their past. since he told me first, i get it that he's trying to be real and not selling any image.
and anyway i'm not very comfortable asking personal questions actually - that's just my personality. it takes awhile. so it will definitely take awhile for me to ask him more qns abt his past. if the topic does come up again, i will do my best. one of the reasons is cause, if someone talks abt their past, there would be a good chance that he would want to know abt MINE. and i dont think i wanna discuss stuff like that. i'm pretty vague abt my personal life with him, but i dont do it on purpose. its a cap thing, the secretiveness and taking time to warm up. heck, i dont even tell my friends much abt my personal life. yes, like everyone i have skeletons in my closet but in general i just dont like to discuss personal stuff. it makes me uncomfortable.
and anyway, haha, he's Chinese, from a conservative country. So.. the way they view romance and all that is alot different from us. thanks though 🙂
i dont think my intentions for wanting to know are that legitimate or solid. im a naturally jealous and insecure person, so anything that i'd ask him abt his exes would be something borne out of jealousy and insecurity, its not anything solid or good, in a sense. i dont want him to think im a psycho. because the insecurity problems lie with me, not him. and he made it a point to say that although they are friends (he gave a fairly good reason why, and judging by his character its completely legitimate) he doesnt have that "Feeling" for them anymore. it was just an experience for him.
he shows me and tells me alot of things about his family and his hometown and his personal trips and all that too. so its not limited to his exes. i just appreciate his honesty, cause ALOT of men i know are very iffy talking abt their past. since he told me first, i get it that he's trying to be real and not selling any image.
and anyway i'm not very comfortable asking personal questions actually - that's just my personality. it takes awhile. so it will definitely take awhile for me to ask him more qns abt his past. if the topic does come up again, i will do my best. one of the reasons is cause, if someone talks abt their past, there would be a good chance that he would want to know abt MINE. and i dont think i wanna discuss stuff like that. i'm pretty vague abt my personal life with him, but i dont do it on purpose. its a cap thing, the secretiveness and taking time to warm up. heck, i dont even tell my friends much abt my personal life. yes, like everyone i have skeletons in my closet but in general i just dont like to discuss personal stuff. it makes me uncomfortable.
and anyway, haha, he's Chinese, from a conservative country. So.. the way they view romance and all that is alot different from us. thanks though 🙂
@feistyaquarian: YES theres alot more to them! im personally of a chinese mix myself but im brought up in a very city environment, very modern and westernized. he's not from a city area at all and so thats another aspect to consider.
yup! they don't introduce the gfs to their families face to face unless they are really serious about you. i personally won't as well, but i have a lot of chinese friends who are casually dating and their boyfriends sleep over and all that. so i guess it depends on how modern they are individually!
but yeah ive been living in asia basically all my life, and they are very very very different from my caucasian friends. plus this guy's not a hardcore Aqua, hes got other stuff like Taurus Rising and alot of Pisces in his chart which makes him very different from the typical Aqua.
😉
yup! they don't introduce the gfs to their families face to face unless they are really serious about you. i personally won't as well, but i have a lot of chinese friends who are casually dating and their boyfriends sleep over and all that. so i guess it depends on how modern they are individually!
but yeah ive been living in asia basically all my life, and they are very very very different from my caucasian friends. plus this guy's not a hardcore Aqua, hes got other stuff like Taurus Rising and alot of Pisces in his chart which makes him very different from the typical Aqua.
😉
@Eve: Understandable. I get exactly what you're saying. In a sense, I am the same way. I'd rather someone else open up to me & release all of their skeletons vs. me being the one to go 1st. ;~X
But regardless of what personality type you are/have, you've got to get in the habbit of giving also what you expect to receive. This guy might not at ALL be comfortable with sharing his past; in fact, the only reason he might be telling you so much is b/c it's his way of showing his admiration for you and/or perhaps even his way of showing you up front that you deserve to know. After all, guys aren't stupid. They know that whether a woman is insecure or not, she's almost always going to want to know about his past.
If you want this guy to be open with you & if you want this guy to go "1st" then you've got to get in the habbit of being the same things for/to him that you expect him to be for/to you. In other words, if you expect him to be completely open & honesty (and non avoidant) than you should be the same to/for him. If you expect this guy to open up about his past so early on & even better, give you the details that you didn't even ask for, then it's be fair of you to give him the same. I'm not saying that tomorrow you should open up the book of your past to him, no. BUT, if he starts wanting/expecting some feedback from you, make sure you're in the right frame of mind to give off/share the same.
And hey, even if your questions are born out of insecurity/jealousy, there's STILL some validity in a person wanting to know a little bit about another person's past. There's nothing wrong with that. Perhaps, to manage your jealosy/insecurities, maybe you can start picking your battles. Only ask OR wonder about the things that truly matter. For example, how "cute" his ex was is irrelevant compared to persay, when the last time was that he had relations with her. Ask or atleast wonder about the things that actually DO count, whether the woman asking them is insecure or not. That way, he won't necessarily pick up on your insecurities; he'll simply just assume that you're asking b/c you have the right to know. And if he believes you're asking for the right reasons, it's less likely that his defenses/guard will go up
But regardless of what personality type you are/have, you've got to get in the habbit of giving also what you expect to receive. This guy might not at ALL be comfortable with sharing his past; in fact, the only reason he might be telling you so much is b/c it's his way of showing his admiration for you and/or perhaps even his way of showing you up front that you deserve to know. After all, guys aren't stupid. They know that whether a woman is insecure or not, she's almost always going to want to know about his past.
If you want this guy to be open with you & if you want this guy to go "1st" then you've got to get in the habbit of being the same things for/to him that you expect him to be for/to you. In other words, if you expect him to be completely open & honesty (and non avoidant) than you should be the same to/for him. If you expect this guy to open up about his past so early on & even better, give you the details that you didn't even ask for, then it's be fair of you to give him the same. I'm not saying that tomorrow you should open up the book of your past to him, no. BUT, if he starts wanting/expecting some feedback from you, make sure you're in the right frame of mind to give off/share the same.
And hey, even if your questions are born out of insecurity/jealousy, there's STILL some validity in a person wanting to know a little bit about another person's past. There's nothing wrong with that. Perhaps, to manage your jealosy/insecurities, maybe you can start picking your battles. Only ask OR wonder about the things that truly matter. For example, how "cute" his ex was is irrelevant compared to persay, when the last time was that he had relations with her. Ask or atleast wonder about the things that actually DO count, whether the woman asking them is insecure or not. That way, he won't necessarily pick up on your insecurities; he'll simply just assume that you're asking b/c you have the right to know. And if he believes you're asking for the right reasons, it's less likely that his defenses/guard will go up
@krysrenee7: yup i know what you are saying, thanks! 🙂 i ask and reveal infor based on my gut feeling i guess. if i dont feel nauseous asking abt someone's past i go ahead and do it. if i feel weird, i dont. it takes time i guess to want to reveal stuff. 🙂 and yes, abt his exes, i dont usually wanna know what they did or how she looked like - some things in life you just dont need to know. 😉 but i have asked why they broke up, how he felt after that, how long it lasted, erm, ok he actually told me all that. so well, he already told me stuff that i think is impt to know. 🙂
@feistyaquarian: hehe yes most of them speak chinese yes! only a select few would speak cantonese, and it depends on what dialect your family is! there's teochew, hokkien, haka.. the list goes on. i bet his gf could do well with some chinese lessons 😉 hehe. and yes the culture is amazing. each country, each province/"state" in the country has their own thing gg on. its fascinating. you should visit when you have the chance! 😄
@feistyaquarian: hehe yes most of them speak chinese yes! only a select few would speak cantonese, and it depends on what dialect your family is! there's teochew, hokkien, haka.. the list goes on. i bet his gf could do well with some chinese lessons 😉 hehe. and yes the culture is amazing. each country, each province/"state" in the country has their own thing gg on. its fascinating. you should visit when you have the chance! 😄
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