Ice cold aquariuses..really?

Its always said that aquas are so cold and aloof and that when they run they dont care...

but does it HAVE to be this way?Maybe it just hurts to care for someone?To take distance from someone does not meen that you dont care?Or does it?


Why always think negative?
Im not an aqua but why do people get mad and turn backs on them?

Am i just naive for thinking that there has to be more to it than just all of a sudden dissapear and never look back or never feel nothing?Are aquas not human..can they not feel?

I think people run once their Aquas have disappeared b/c we're all taught that someone will actually STICK AROUND if they like you. So of course when an Aqua runs, the message being sent isn't typically, "Yep, I disappeared b/c I just love you oh so much!" it's a natural response for the other person to assume that something must be wrong (either with themselves or with the Aqua) when this kind of thing happens. That quick reaction isn't gonna change b/c most people are wired to feel disappointment or the sense to back up once someone disappears, especially w/o an explanation being offered.

What CAN make the difference though b/w whether the person dating the Aqua decides to stay or leave is all in how well they understand/know their Aqua.

It's alot easier for someone to stick around if their Aqua told them how they were from the beginning. Aquas like me are really good at "warning" people ahead of time so that they won't be so caught off guard when I finally do pack up & leave temporarily.

Plus it all depends on the timing of when the Aqua disappeared. If they disappear around the time the other person was already feeling discouraged about the friendship/relationship, there's a higher chance that they'll give up alot faster.

Alot of people don't really understand why Aquas disappear. They don't want to understand it b/c they figure that most other human beings wouldn't run in the same situation. But then again, men in general have been known to run at the most unlikely of times too, so it kind of forces women to atleast TRY To understand this way of thinking.

I think it's entirely possible that Aquas run at the time they're loving/liking you at the highest level. Of course the other person will have a hard time understanding this, & Aquas need to understand this too.

It's all about how an Aqua comes back. If an Aqua comes back, still unwilling to offer an explanation or atleast some clarity into why they ran, it's alot harder for the other person to understand or be prepared persay it happens again. But if the Aqua comes back, explains themselves, communicates their feelings & thinking, AND acknowledges the confusion or disappointment they've caused to the other person, there's a higher chance that 1. The other person will be more understanding & decide to stay around AND 2. The Aqua will think twice about disappearing again (IF they really like you)

well ive known an aqua for 3 years now..he comes and goes,sometimes days,sometimes weeks,sometimes months but i never get mad or judge him or demand anything of him..
I let him be the free spirit he needs to be to achieve hes goals..

i know he feels something for meotherwise he would not return..ever..
He has a really hard time with feelings and hes relationships bust because women say he is cold and so on..
And i just cant imagine how it would feel to hear someone say that you are cold and dont care even though you have all theese emotions inside you cant express..

"my" aqua knows my door is open at all times and im never mad at him...and i never turn my back on him even though he dosnt hang around me all the time.And i know he feels,he thinks just like the rest of us..but some just have a hard time with feelings but when people are struggling with their feelings is it really the right time to turn your back..

i know i wont

im a

sun;Gemini
moon:taurus
merc:Gemini

ascendant:aqua

he is

sun:aqua
moon:gemini
merc:aqua

his ascendant i dont know

It's great that you really understand your Aqua & stand by his side. However, I'm assuming that you have a life, that you want real love & that your "door" won't be revolving/open forever. Eventually, he's going to have to learn consistency, especially if you 2 ever plan on being together b/c trust me, all his disappearing WILL eventually get old.

Learning how to express our emotions is 1 thing we Aquas will always struggle with & so is learning hw to stay (vs. disappear) if anything just for the sake of taking the other person's feelings into consideration. We're aware of how our actions (or lack of) can negatively affect others. And when we really feel like you're worth it, we WILL try our best to acknowledge the problem, fix the problem & make sure that things are a little different each next time that we feel like running.

My point being, don't necessarily encourage him to solve his emotional conflicts by running. That's NOT a good thing. And no, asking him to learn consistency is NOT the same thing as asking him to change who he is. He's disappearing b/c it's a HABIT, not some trait he can't get rid of. As with anything, the more people encourage or allow certain habits, the longer they'll continue.

yea but i have a life and a boyfriend wich i wont change right now and the aqua knows this..
I enjoy him,,but i dont think i want to live with him.

ThisandThat:

your right actually its not sudden at all...if anything the temper or the disappearnce for me at least is due to disappointment over MONTHS and YEARS. As a aqua (can't say for all) its like i hold the annoyances and issues in the back of my mind. What is conscious is this: "what can i do to alleviate the situation? i'll think of all the possibilities of what i could've done wrong what they could've done wrong. what we both can do to come to a compromise, if they cannot do so, what can i do to adjust or help the situation...would it be to be the bigger person?"

over time i feel that i give the "live and let live..don't really judge" mentality nothing really gets to me about people until they dont give me the same very treatment back. When things hit a boiling point...i shut off.

Recently had a issue with a friend who just is too high maintence and expects so much yet offers so little. She eventually today said a comment "she just likes to yell" (when shes the one yelling so all i can do is raise my voice so she can hear me) or TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY AT ALL> I shut off. THis friend has issues and projects to everyone around her. WE all talk about it. yet we accept live and let live and understand. YET she fails to giive others the same treatment she wants.

So today after 2 years...of contemplating the issues of her and her annoyances...i've decided to not think of her as a friend but rather just another acquaintence. I cannot change others...that is my ULTIMATE decision...today just made me realize she has been like that for 29 years. what i say and do and talk about will not change the situation. What is left?

"how do i adapt to a friend like this? That I ALLEVIATE THE drama and disappointment and ELEVATE MY "OWN" happiness. She has no given me a friendship that i deserve. so why do i continue to take part of my own misery?

The reason why aquas look aloof or distant or cold is DUE to something someone said or did. Then they come back as they're happy self...because they sort out and solved the CURRENT issue by themselves and found a great solution. Once it hits a breaking point....aquas just disappear. that is over months and years of contemplation and being unbiased.

To the other parties...its sudden. why? we don't talk about the issues all the time. the REAL issues.

I am an aqua woman and I disappear when it seems like I feel more than the other person, and I need to back up off of them. Also we need someone to be strong with us like the disappearing thing say something we need a response from you. It is hard for us to show our feelings because of the hurt of being rejected, but if we know how you really feel it can be wonderful and we will open up and not disappear. We might go a day without talking but not a week nor a month because we just need our space.

So do not let your aqua continue to disappear because they will find someone else.

also agree ^^^^

well i dont mind him having someone else since i allready have someone else..

Posted by ThisAndThat
Its always said that aquas are so cold and aloof and that when they run they dont care...

but does it HAVE to be this way?Maybe it just hurts to care for someone?To take distance from someone does not meen that you dont care?Or does it?


Why always think negative?
Im not an aqua but why do people get mad and turn backs on them?

Am i just naive for thinking that there has to be more to it than just all of a sudden dissapear and never look back or never feel nothing?Are aquas not human..can they not feel?

"It's always said that aquas are so cold and aloof" - no, not always, not if we are so into you that we can't help but touch you, hug you, kiss you etc.

"and that when they run they don't care". Sometimes - but usually after we;ve worked out that we're either wasting our time, stagnant or you've pissed us off to a point where we just don't want to be around you anymore. Other times we might just be hurting, want a situation to end and so we remove ourselves to save further hurt.

Being distant from someone doesn't mean we don't care - it means we care too much and it hurts - in some cases. In others, when it's less likely to do with matters of the heart - nah, we don't care, you're yesterdays news.

"Why always think negatively?" - we don't...but YOU are - you're turning your thoughts into the worst case scenario ;p

Oh, and of course Aqua's are human.

Look, the best way to get answers from Aqua - or anyone else for that matter - is to ask. if you don't get the answer, the person you're asking just isn't ready to speak yet - and you'll have to acceot that because there's nothing more you can do.

All I have to say is,if you're waisting or you are no longer an asset or anything positive in an Aqua's life you WILL get left.It really is that easy,why continue dealing with someone who's bringing you down?It doesn't help anyone!Why do that I could missing out on something or someone else.That feeling of moving on is actually a BIG relief.The other person obviously didn't care enough about the relationship otherwise they wouldn't have abused it so much,so why should we feel bad?Think about that 🙂

Posted by krysrenee7

I think it's entirely possible that Aquas run at the time they're loving/liking you at the highest level. Of course the other person will have a hard time understanding this, & Aquas need to understand this too.

How do you differentiate whether they disappear because they like you too much or that simply they just lost interest in you? Scenarios?