I'm going to give you the BEST tip ever...

Profile picture of NZAqua
NZAqua
@NZAqua
16 Years500+ PostsAquarius

Comments: 0 · Posts: 665 · Topics: 52
...when dealing with an Aqua.

COMMUNICATE.

Wow, that's simple, isn't it?

Yes, yes it is, thank you NZAqua.

If you want to know something, don't understand something, want a straight answer, want information of any description for anything at any time....

Open your mouth, speak...COMMUNICATE. We aren't mind readers, we don't know that you're all confused and upset, we aren't in your head and we aren't responsible for your emotional reactions when you don't communicate.

Open. Your. Mouth.

Speak.

*sigh* It's just not that hard, you'll gain respect for it and well, you never know, your head may become a lot less fucked up if you stop trying to "work it out" and simply get the information that you need.
Profile picture of krysrenee7
krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
AMEN AMEN AMEN!

Although I think this advice is universal & relates to people of ALL signs, I especially think it's important when dealing with Aquas since alot of people dealing with them often complain about how draining it is to "figure us out."

There'd be nothing to "figure out" if people would just ask. And Aquas know this. We know that we can be confusing, & even down right intimidating. BUT we won't do the work for you. If we can sense that you have something on your mind or that you want to know something, we'll sit back & wait on you to have the courage & willpower to ask us.

Who cares about whether or not we'll actually like what you had to say or the questions you had to ask. That's besides the point. We have to give credit where credit is due & respect someone for loving the aspect of communication. Hell, we damn sure WON'T hold our tongues when we want to know something, so we can only respect those who don't hold their tongues either.
Profile picture of nats
nats
@nats
15 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 966 · Topics: 54
What happens when you communicate but then the aqua pretty much ignores everything you say, even when you POINT OUT that you know they are ignoring your questions and you try and explain to them that its not fair for them to act that way but they continue to ignore it? and instead of saying "im not comfortable answering that" or "i dont want to answer" they just hide for days, avoid the situation and come back hoping the peron has "forgotten" and you can continue on like nothing happened.

YEAH so much for "communicate"
Profile picture of NZAqua
NZAqua
@NZAqua
16 Years500+ PostsAquarius

Comments: 0 · Posts: 665 · Topics: 52
Posted by dancer23
Well what about when you communicate and they get angry? My ex is someone who seems to respect communication but will never admit when he is wrong. When he is DEAD wrong. He simply relies on the argument that I just dont get him. And of course there is some truth to that, but it doesnt negate the fact that he uses this as an excuse and/or as an avoidance tactic. Its almost like he prides himself on being different and as much as he exclaims he wants someone to GET HIM, he really doesnt want me to figure him out. Because then that would mean he is vulnerable to me and cant run his bullshit on me. I know all Aquas arent like this; I was married to a very sweet, uncomplicated one. But this guy is a MESS.



Don't let him use his bullshit on you.

Tell him "Hey, you're being purposefully difficult - I don't respect it. Either stop your bullshit or piss off".

That alone will get him to simmer down. He'll likely blow up at you but once that's done, he'll more than likely be far less willing to engage in bullshit.

Be firm, call him on his shit in a calm manner and, no matter how much noise he makes, repeat it, get up, walk out/off/etc.

Sounds like a recipe for disaster - but in actual fact, it's a great way to get him to get his head out of his arse and stop being a baby.
Profile picture of NZAqua
NZAqua
@NZAqua
16 Years500+ PostsAquarius

Comments: 0 · Posts: 665 · Topics: 52
Posted by nats
What happens when you communicate but then the aqua pretty much ignores everything you say, even when you POINT OUT that you know they are ignoring your questions and you try and explain to them that its not fair for them to act that way but they continue to ignore it? and instead of saying "im not comfortable answering that" or "i dont want to answer" they just hide for days, avoid the situation and come back hoping the peron has "forgotten" and you can continue on like nothing happened.

YEAH so much for "communicate"



Well, attack it from a fresh angle. Instead of pointing out the short-comings (not listening, avoiding etc) point out

"Hey, I respect it when you communicate, I know you're good at it. Get back to me when you've decided to put your communication skills back into practice. Until then I'll be off doing my own thing, see ya".

I can tell you now that the control factor of avoidance - which is exactly what is happening - will disappear rapidly when you don't buy into it, and the communication will start.

People cannot be forced to talk - but most want to eventually, so take time with it and go about your own day.
you go -
Aqua's (like most) hate having things pointed out to them. We're an arrogant bunch of so-and-so's at times, we know it all (or so we think) and so when we're wrong we'll do anything to avoid admitting it to save face. When someone says no to our bullshit it makes a huge shift in attitude appear whereby it's kind of "Oh hey, this person isn't going to cater to my crap and , shit, they're leaving me to do other stuff so I'm not that important - how do i become important again? Oh yeah, I must inject my thoughts (communicate)".
Profile picture of candyapples88
candyapples88
@candyapples88
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 318 · Topics: 6
Posted by dancer23
Posted by aquagirl24
Posted by dancer23
Well what about when you communicate and they get angry? My ex is someone who seems to respect communication but will never admit when he is wrong. When he is DEAD wrong. He simply relies on the argument that I just dont get him. And of course there is some truth to that, but it doesnt negate the fact that he uses this as an excuse and/or as an avoidance tactic. Its almost like he prides himself on being different and as much as he exclaims he wants someone to GET HIM, he really doesnt want me to figure him out. Because then that would mean he is vulnerable to me and cant run his bullshit on me. I know all Aquas arent like this; I was married to a very sweet, uncomplicated one. But this guy is a MESS.



you said this about your aqua:

when you communicate he gets angry - when you communicate about what??

My ex is someone who seems to respect communication but will never admit when he is wrong. what do you mean?

And of course there is some truth to that, but it doesnt negate the fact that he uses this as an excuse and/or as an avoidance tactic. then avoid him until he comes back to you. if he avoids you its because he thinks avoiding is a good strategy, so do that back to him till he doesnt listen to what he is wrong about.



I wont bore you w/ all the details as I ended things w/ him officially today and its not worth rehashing all of our convos. If I do what you advise, it amounts to playing games. And Im tired of that. The only person it hurts is me. If he cant be real and accept me for who I am as well then its pointless. I saw it thru and I am satisfied w/ the outcome. I have no regrets.
click to expand




This makes me sad. What happened—