Instant attraction

Hi everyone. I got here by accident but I really enjoy reading you all 🙂 I'd never been too much into astrology until it happened to me. I'd like to share it and you tell me if I'm crazy or stupid or should wait or withdraw. I met this Aquarius guy and after a few seconds, after looking into his eyes I knew I was doomed. I mean, totally infatuated, you know when you feel this this streak of warmth inside you and body trembling. Strange enough, I'm somehow felt that he had the similar feeling. Six seconds when our eyes met and the world stopped. I'm 38. I've never believed in love at first sight but I'm very sexual person and I feel it very much in my body. We've never slept with each other nor talked about being together. I was married when we met (we work together, meet 2x a week) but now I'm in the middle of divorce but I'm doing it for different reasons and for myself, not for Aqua man. Besides, he's in a relationship and I don't want to mess around with him and he doesn't know I'm getting divorced. But. We're talking. We can't stop talking, everywhere, about everything. No dirty talk, no touching, no love discussions but I feel how it's growing. Actually, controlling what we both feel (somehow I'm sure he feels the same) is the hardest and at the same time the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. Guys, I'll appreciate if you share what you think and pls don't condemn me as I really try to behave. I'm leo with moon in cancer, venus in leo and mars in scorpio. I only know he's an aqua. I'd eat him if I could... But I can't. Should I wait? Shoul I talk? Still my divorce is not finalized so theoreticaly I have time. But I don't want to waste it. And I don't want to scare him. Or maybe I just wanted to talk to someone🙂 thank you if you read.

BTW, it's been for more than a year now. Can anyone help me with that?

Still doing nothing about it... I feel it's wrong and although leos have kind of bad reputation, I have also a strong value system. I don't want to start a relationship like this, I dont want to be the other woman, I dont want to use him to feel better during my divorce, I dont want to be such a woman... many donts. It just blew me off my feet... lile nthg before.

Thx for cold shower. I need it

Posted by 7thHouse

Posted by Darklionass00

Still doing nothing about it... I feel it's wrong and although leos have kind of bad reputation, I have also a strong value system. I don't want to start a relationship like this, I dont want to be the other woman, I dont want to use him to feel better during my divorce, I dont want to be such a woman... many donts. It just blew me off my feet... lile nthg before.

Thx for cold shower. I need it

Well, you shouldn't. He's in a relationship. Why would you even bother with someone who's already taken? There are plenty of men out there. You don't need to jump in another relationship while in the process of getting divorced. Why rush? Don't you want to have fun and rediscover yourself first? Travel maybe? Get to know your new self?

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Yes. Good idea. Thank you. I will shake it off.

Oh and the thing is that when I moved on a few times and cut conversations and didnt answer his messages, he started to chase me again after some time. So he is not like a poor guy and my prey. Actually, it is him who always says Do you have time? Lets talk. Or send me his fav music or pics... and he's doing it when he thinks I'm married! Im confused. And angry.I dont like it but I like him and Im not able to judge him through his behavior. But I can control mine for sure. Sorry, but I want you to know that its not like: leo woman is bad but aqua man is goooood lol

Feel free to talk to him. Don't hide anything. Your welcome to bring it up in conversation too. Just don't have any expectations in the way he responds. If he is interested your putting him in quite a pickle. Be considerate of that but don't be selfish and Rob him of the choice. Anotherwards handle it with maturity and compassion for both him and yourself too.

Reguardless of what happens, so far it has been innocent conversations. No reason for this to stop just because your single now. I'm sure you both love this part of the relationship if you doing it this much and often.

Posted by 7thHouse

Posted by Lostthoughts

Feel free to talk to him. Don't hide anything. Your welcome to bring it up in conversation too. Just don't have any expectations in the way he responds. If he is interested your putting him in quite a pickle. Be considerate of that but don't be selfish and Rob him of the choice. Anotherwards handle it with maturity and compassion for both him and yourself too.

Reguardless of what happens, so far it has been innocent conversations. No reason for this to stop just because your single now. I'm sure you both love this part of the relationship if you doing it this much and often.

The guy isn't single. Just saying. How about his girlfriend? Doesn't that matter as well?

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she is 38. This situation can be handled maturity with all parties involved.

she basically wants to change the nature of their current relationship or at least see if there is something there. It's his choice. They can hash it out like adults. If he isn't up for that then they can go there separate ways or find a mode(kind of relationship) that does work for the both of them.

As for his girlfriend, if their relationship can be threatened and undermined that easily, if not the OP then it will be someone else. If he values his relationship enough not to indulge it and sees a real future with her then this challenge will strengthen it.

What is the point of being with someone if your relationship is so fickle you have to isolate them and control them? Would you want to be in a relationship with someone because there was nothing better around or because they choose to?

I'm thinking of her wellbeing as well. Cheating is never ok nor is settling for someone you are not happy with.



Real love isn't a selfish self absorbed expression. If he stays with his girlfriend then OP with have to decide what is really important to her and her own wellbeing in regards to him. Hash it out.

Real connections like she described is rare as well. That is something to be cherished.

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by 7thHouse

Posted by Lostthoughts

Feel free to talk to him. Don't hide anything. Your welcome to bring it up in conversation too. Just don't have any expectations in the way he responds. If he is interested your putting him in quite a pickle. Be considerate of that but don't be selfish and Rob him of the choice. Anotherwards handle it with maturity and compassion for both him and yourself too.

Reguardless of what happens, so far it has been innocent conversations. No reason for this to stop just because your single now. I'm sure you both love this part of the relationship if you doing it this much and often.

The guy isn't single. Just saying. How about his girlfriend? Doesn't that matter as well?

she is 38. This situation can be handled maturity with all parties involved.

she basically wants to change the nature of their current relationship or at least see if there is something there. It's his choice. They can hash it out like adults. If he isn't up for that then they can go there separate ways or find a mode(kind of relationship) that does work for the both of them.

As for his girlfriend, if their relationship can be threatened and undermined that easily, if not the OP then it will be someone else. If he values his relationship enough not to indulge it and sees a real future with her then this challenge will strengthen it.

What is the point of being with someone if your relationship is so fickle you have to isolate them and control them? Would you want to be in a relationship with someone because there was nothing better around or because they choose to?

I'm thinking of her wellbeing as well. Cheating is never ok nor is settling for someone you are not happy with.



Real love isn't a selfish self absorbed expression. If he stays with his girlfriend then OP with have to decide what is really important to her and her own wellbeing in regards to him. Hash it out.

Real connections like she described is rare as well. That is something to be cherished.

click to expand

Wow! Thank you for speaking my mind 🙂 This is exactly what I think, he can take care of his relationship HIMSELF, I dont feel responsible for that part. If he is only friendly? Thats ok. But im going to make sure after my divorce is finalized. If he says that's nothing but friendship, I can handle it. Because it's honesty and I appreciate it most. Do you think I'm threatening his relationship? But how?? I'm not jumping into his bed, not even starting the contact... it's him. Should I feel guilty of my feelings which I try to control af? Guys, I'm a leo, fire! Not saint but now I think I am lol. I didnt come here for my ego to be stroked. Actually, I expected a lot of critisism and some objectivism which I cant get from my friends so I appreciate it. And now I see what I can expect from our work environment. The saddest thing is that this is still a woman who is blamed... there are TWO people, both in a relationship and one of you writes: "you'll put HIM in an awkward situation when it doesnt work". Hmm... if he decides to go into it, he will be responsible for everything what happens next. Just like me. To sum up, Im not going to start anything with him as long as he is with his gf, never gonna play second fiddle, but I am going to talk to him when Im single. One way or the other. 'Cause I cant be friends with him when I want him. Too much. But I can move on. I need a closure. I guess that's a leo thing.

Posted by 7thHouse

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by 7thHouse

Posted by Lostthoughts

Feel free to talk to him. Don't hide anything. Your welcome to bring it up in conversation too. Just don't have any expectations in the way he responds. If he is interested your putting him in quite a pickle. Be considerate of that but don't be selfish and Rob him of the choice. Anotherwards handle it with maturity and compassion for both him and yourself too.

Reguardless of what happens, so far it has been innocent conversations. No reason for this to stop just because your single now. I'm sure you both love this part of the relationship if you doing it this much and often.

The guy isn't single. Just saying. How about his girlfriend? Doesn't that matter as well?

she is 38. This situation can be handled maturity with all parties involved.

she basically wants to change the nature of their current relationship or at least see if there is something there. It's his choice. They can hash it out like adults. If he isn't up for that then they can go there separate ways or find a mode(kind of relationship) that does work for the both of them.

As for his girlfriend, if their relationship can be threatened and undermined that easily, if not the OP then it will be someone else. If he values his relationship enough not to indulge it and sees a real future with her then this challenge will strengthen it.

What is the point of being with someone if your relationship is so fickle you have to isolate them and control them? Would you want to be in a relationship with someone because there was nothing better around or because they choose to?

I'm thinking of her wellbeing as well. Cheating is never ok nor is settling for someone you are not happy with.



Real love isn't a selfish self absorbed expression. If he stays with his girlfriend then OP with have to decide what is really important to her and her own wellbeing in regards to him. Hash it out.

Real connections like she described is rare as well. That is something to be cherished.

I'm thinking why it's the guy's choice and not hers choice instead. I guess it is different among women. It shows more of the level of self-value. If she knows her worth, she shouldn't be waiting for him to decide. She should be deciding if she wants to be the reason why a relationship gets ruined or be a third party in an existing relationship. And even so, if the guy's relationship is vulnerable for another woman to come in, why would someone want to be that other woman? The excuse of real connection is very overrated already. Just here on dxp, there are people left and right claiming real connection with someone who gives them unrequited love. Is it enough to actually put yourself in a situation where you are the reason why someone goes astray? I guess I just believe that one shouldn't do to others what they don't want done unto them. If he cheats with her, he will cheat on her. It's not said to many people for no reason.

Whereas her moving on to someone who has no strings attached puts her in a much secure position. Surely, there are more men out there.

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she is single and he is not. When she brings that up in conversation he will have reevaluate their relationship. I am by no means implying she should actively persue him nor does she have the right to withhold that information if she knows he would want to know it. When people do that they regret it later on both sides.

I firmly believe in the golden rule and live by it as humanly as possible. If I personally was in any of those 3 positions in this situation, what I said wouldn't change.

As the girlfriend I would let him go with no hard feelings, so long as it was done the right way. Don't expect to come back to me if things don't work out though. Also would allow a friendship so long as there is no drama and our relationship is respected. She is welcome to come by and hang out with us if they are capable of keeping a platonic relationship. Wouldn't bother me so long as respect and boundaries are honored. Nothing says this isn't just a adult crush and they make good friends. So we shouldn't assume too much here and why I say hash it out.

Look to be honest I have female friends and have no trouble being in platonic relationships with former love interests on top of that. Maybe I'm weird or something is wrong with society and the rest of you🤷

I'm loyal to my core in relationships as well. Even if I could get away with shit I still would cheat. Not in my nature.

Posted by 7thHouse

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by 7thHouse

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by 7thHouse

Posted by Lostthoughts

Feel free to talk to him. Don't hide anything. Your welcome to bring it up in conversation too. Just don't have any expectations in the way he responds. If he is interested your putting him in quite a pickle. Be considerate of that but don't be selfish and Rob him of the choice. Anotherwards handle it with maturity and compassion for both him and yourself too.

Reguardless of what happens, so far it has been innocent conversations. No reason for this to stop just because your single now. I'm sure you both love this part of the relationship if you doing it this much and often.

The guy isn't single. Just saying. How about his girlfriend? Doesn't that matter as well?

she is 38. This situation can be handled maturity with all parties involved.

she basically wants to change the nature of their current relationship or at least see if there is something there. It's his choice. They can hash it out like adults. If he isn't up for that then they can go there separate ways or find a mode(kind of relationship) that does work for the both of them.

As for his girlfriend, if their relationship can be threatened and undermined that easily, if not the OP then it will be someone else. If he values his relationship enough not to indulge it and sees a real future with her then this challenge will strengthen it.

What is the point of being with someone if your relationship is so fickle you have to isolate them and control them? Would you want to be in a relationship with someone because there was nothing better around or because they choose to?

I'm thinking of her wellbeing as well. Cheating is never ok nor is settling for someone you are not happy with.



Real love isn't a selfish self absorbed expression. If he stays with his girlfriend then OP with have to decide what is really important to her and her own wellbeing in regards to him. Hash it out.

Real connections like she described is rare as well. That is something to be cherished.

I'm thinking why it's the guy's choice and not hers choice instead. I guess it is different among women. It shows more of the level of self-value. If she knows her worth, she shouldn't be waiting for him to decide. She should be deciding if she wants to be the reason why a relationship gets ruined or be a third party in an existing relationship. And even so, if the guy's relationship is vulnerable for another woman to come in, why would someone want to be that other woman? The excuse of real connection is very overrated already. Just here on dxp, there are people left and right claiming real connection with someone who gives them unrequited love. Is it enough to actually put yourself in a situation where you are the reason why someone goes astray? I guess I just believe that one shouldn't do to others what they don't want done unto them. If he cheats with her, he will cheat on her. It's not said to many people for no reason.

Whereas her moving on to someone who has no strings attached puts her in a much secure position. Surely, there are more men out there.

she is single and he is not. When she brings that up in conversation he will have reevaluate their relationship. I am by no means implying she should actively persue him nor does she have the right to withhold that information if she knows he would want to know. That is shopping for him.

I firmly believe in the golden rule and live by it as humanly as possible. If I personally was in any of those 3 positions in this situation, what I said wouldn't change.

As the girlfriend I would let him go with no hard feelings, so long as it was done the right way. Don't expect to come back to me if things don't work out though. Also would allow a friendship so long as there is no drama and our relationship is respected. She is welcome to come by and hang out with us if they are capable of keeping a platonic relationship. Wouldn't bother me so long as respect and boundaries are honored.

Look to be honest I have female friends and have no trouble being in platonic relationships with former love interests on top of that. Maybe I'm weird or something is wrong with society and the rest of you🤷

I'm loyal to my core in relationships as well. Even if I could get away with shit I still would cheat. Not in my nature.

Definitely understand what you're saying. I'm on the same boat as far as loyalty, following the golden rule and of course having platonic relationships. That's totally fine and it does happen. I for one, am OK with my exes although I wouldn't say we are best of friends but there's no I'll feelings. I'm lucky my husband cut off all his exes without me asking for it. And he's a bloody gemini so who would even imagine that. (it's why I believe in gemini loyalty on the contrary to popular belief about the sign lol).

I personally am just saying something I would say to a friend if she comes to me with this kind of situation. DON'T DO IT. like just wait til he's single or just find someone else who won't bring you any drama. I also know some people who cheated or have been cheated on (including myself. An ex cheated on me which was the reason I broke it off) and I think, whether we admit it or not, it leaves damage to someone which is hard to repair. The fact that she is single means she has more options hence, I did think she would be better off finding someone with no strings attached. It's her opportunity to have the best time of her life after divorce. Someone in my circle had a divorce party once and she partied like she never did all those years she was married. I was imagining someone would wanna enjoy that freedom for a while because relationships do take its toll on people. And then, she can think of what she really wants in a guy and hopefully, who she really wants as well.

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Yes cheating is very hurtful. No one deserves that.

Better off breaking up if you are at the point were your not into the relationship enough to keep biology in check and value your relationship enough to respect boundaries and your s/o. Do things the right way. I know people as well that this was traumatic for them and left it's Mark.

The time after divorce thing is interesting.

I have a friend who was talking to a newly divorced guy. After 1-2 weeks of talking he pulled away and told her he couldn't go out with her. He liked her too much and his life was a mess. It seems he was looking for something casual but found he really liked her and started taking a relationship with her seriously lmao. No joke this wasn't a line. He was serious.

The rebound phase is real I guess. A mental and emotional reset. Finding yourself outside a relationship etc. I have no real experience with this. The only thing I can think of was turn a girl down after she had a rough break up. She was in a vulnerable state and I felt like I was taking advantage. Couldn't do it. She wanted was a distraction to help get past her break up which was fine. Also people around me where using rebounds as disposables and I didn't want that so I opted out.

It's been more than a year that the dude is only talking to you essentially as a friend and you still don't know what to do about it??!! He isn't interested that way, he thinks of you as a friend. He talk and talks to a friend because he already loves someone else. Can you plz leave those two alone and spare his poor girlfriend's heart?? Plzzzzzz

Posted by poeticseraphim

Posted by bad_at_usernames

It's been more than a year that the dude is only talking to you essentially as a friend and you still don't know what to do about it??!! He isn't interested that way, he thinks of you as a friend. He talk and talks to a friend because he already loves someone else. Can you plz leave those two alone and spare his poor girlfriend's heart?? Plzzzzzz

Exactly.

The op needs to examine why she is feeling this way.

Why these feelings mean so much to her right now.

Does he remind her of older crushes? What does he present to her? Why does this crush take up so much of her head?

Could it be to do with her divorce?

It will become clear and she will have an aha moment.

But she needs to realize that they are not going to get it together. And something needs to click or be shown to her so she can see it clearly.

I mean the guy being in a relationship should do that. But there you go.

OP you should stop looking to him for answers or for answers about him ...start looking into yourself.

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I second that. She doesn't get to think about him that way. She doesn't get to think what he wants from her coz he clearly wants absolutely nothing from her. May be friendship, but that's that. He isn't free to give her anything, the sooner she understands this, the better.

Just a thought but from my experience I think aqua guys like attention and a flirt. There’s a difference between flirting and fill blown cheating on your partner though.

This dude probably thinks you’re safe because he still thinks you’re married so to him it’s just harmless flirting/friendliness.

I also don’t think it’s right to pursue a man that’s already taken, it’s not really good grounds to start a relationship and I’d always be thinking that he would go off with someone else just as easily.