MIXED MESSAGES FROM AQUARIAN MALE!

Hello,

I dated an aquarian man for two months and we just broke up, we met in a club and there was an instant attraction but when we were together sometimes there were silent moments and things felt a little tense and stuck for words, i think also i was trying too hard and felt nervous about chatting rubbish so was quieter than usual. The chemistry between the sheets was great though.

i wasnt sure how to read him at all, he use to kiss me good bye on the cheek then all of a sudden it turned to on the lips. Things did go quickly and i stayed over at his 3 or 4 times a week and we spent most of the weekends together (at his place as i live with parents). We met each others families and things were quite intense but sometimes he seemed very aloof and unpredictable.

he ended it, gave me all the 'i think your a great girl etc' talk and i had a lot of respect for him for being honest and i did say i felt it was weird too and if he hadnt have done it i wouldve and he seemed surprised. We laughed about it all and went for a drink as mates. He said he thought i looked lovely and we chatted and laughed, i felt more relaxed and told him that. he said he hopes we will still be friends and i will still go and see him etc.

Then, the next day i had an email from him just telling me about a work matter which i didnt even need to know and asking how i was and then he wrote on my fb wall (general comment on smthng) then that night he text me late just to tell me my toothbrush was at his house and the next day was talking on fb and veered the conversation to bedroom talk!

since then he has contacted me every day via email, text or fb, just random things even monday he said he was popping into my work place to discuss something with a colleague (he had no real reason to come that day) and asked to take me to lunch, he wouldnt let me pay!ive not contacted him, only in response to him! yesterday wouldve been the first day of no contact and low and behold just as i am about to go to bed he texted !

Is this just him being my friend? or is there more to it? any advice would be grately appreciated!!!!!!!

He doesn't want to date you romantically right now, too awkward but he still seems to be interested in friendship, I don't really see mixed messages, I see a guy that still wants to be cool with you and remain friends.

Well I agree with Tiki that this guy doesn't seem to want to pursue you relationship-wise anymore. This guy was so quick to tell you his feelings & allow things to move very quickly beforehand so the very fact that he hasn't yet come to you to 1. admit regret in breaking up with you or 2. Try to get you back just means that he's actually content in his decision with you 2 being just friends.

It's very possible that he just wants to be friends with you with occasional sexual benefits; that's why he tried to be slick & slide in the bedroom comment(s). Aqua guys are usually very forward about their intentions so when they tell you exactly what they're looking for and/or what they expect, they're usually being straight up with you. It doesn't seem like he had a very deep emotional attachment to you. And I say that b/c even for Aquas, the ones who are known for being able to detach & move on as if the other person didn't exist..it's very RARE for an Aqua guy (or guy period) to immediately be able to resume back to being just normal friends with someone they were deeply attached to just a day ealier. He must not've been as emotionally attached to you as you thought he was or else it wouldn't be so easy for him to act as if nothing happend the next day.

There doesn't necessarily have to be some kind of hidden motive as to why he's still gunning for friendship with you. You guys mutually broke up & from what you've shared, it seems as if things were peaceful when it happend, so it's not like he'd have a reason to break up with you, cut you off & treat you like crap forever. He's not mad at you & he prob. generally still likes you as just a person & friend & it's possible that he might be so consistent with his communication now just for the sake of proving to you that there are no hard feelings even though you guys are no longer together. Aquas are more comfortable with "friendship-level" relations anyways & unless the're like madly in love with you, it's not as hard for them (like it is for others) to downgrade right back down to "just friends"

However, if this guy is contacting you moreso now than he was back when you 2 were together, then that'd be a different story. But even then, Aquas aren't ones to just break up with someone on a whim/impulse. They think very hard & thoroughly before they make a decision like that. And hey, if you're a little uncomfortable (atleast for now) with all this constant communication/contact with him b/c you've not yet sorted out how you want to feel about everything yet then just tell him. Be honest with him.

He might be going out of his way to overcompensate by over-doing it in the communication department b/c he might fear that if he doesn't immediately show you that he can still be the same kind friend you're used to, that you might turn on him. And let's be honest, alot of women (especially when they weren't necessarily done) still kind of do want to keep that contact with their ex immediately after the break up, even if they aren't yet sure they can handle it, considering they'd probably be full of mixed feelings & emotions about everything. And every blue moon, a guy will come along that actually remembers this about how some women are more sensitive & more analyzing, ESPECIALLY after the relationship. BUT, him doing this just for the sake of making sure there are no hard feelings b/w you 2 is just 1 possibility.

Of course there's always that 1% chance that he might've regretted agreeing to break up with you, thus he might be too shy or feel to guilty to just come right out & say "I want you back" either for fear of rejection or fear of possibly making the same mistake of being with you again. He might be over-doing things when trying to contact you as his way of slyly sliding his way back into your life & prepping himself up to ask you to be his again. But even still, there is a very small chance that he regrets his decision about the breakup unless this guy is just completely irrational & emotionally confused, in which either case is not necessarily a good thing. Who knows. Come right out & just ask him. You'd be surprised. Aquas sometimes wait on the other person to be brave enough to confront them about the mixed signals, etc...Who knows

Hi guys,

Thanks for all of your replies, very insightful.

I could just tell there was something unusual about the contact, it seemed and as the week went on it got more. He called me Thursday morning last week just for a chat and then i invited him out Saturday and he was up for it.

Then on the Friday i went to London shopping and he was texting throughout the day, just funny little things and then on the saturday he called me for another chat!

Then saturday he picked me up, and when he parked up the car he said ahh show me your dress, and said it was really beautiful. I laughed and said its a bit short you gona have to look after me and he joked and said come here and pulled me into him and cuddled me

Then all night we were dancing togther (it was strange that he was out with us anyway because he doesnt usualy come out with my group of friends) My friend did say to him that i thought it all went a bit quick before and that i would always be his 'shag buddy' which i am not very pleased about (she was trying to show i was totaly cool about things i think)but aparantly he seemed surprised.

Anyway, after dancing all night we wen back to his and we spent the night together. the next day after he took me home i didnt hear anything from him.

Then the next morning i text him to see if he wanted to come out shopping with me and a few friends and he called me and we chatted, he was busy though so didnt come.

Then the next day i heard nothing and then the next day i was at work and he was in the office again 'just passing'( i work quite outa town) he was chatting to the guy in front office but shot up and came round the back of the office to talk to me as soon as he saw me go out the back door. We just chatted a bit hello how are u etc.

Then the next day i emailed him to say i reccomended him to a colleague (he does mortgages) and he emailed saying thanks and how am i and i emailed him back and asked him how he was etc and he emailed and said he is dejaying friday and satruday this week and asked if i have much planned for the weekend so i said im out with friends and he should come down after his dejaying, and said i was gona ask him anyway (which i was).

He hasnt replied now at all and that was Wednesday Lunchtime.

I really dont know what to think, i think it's the brush off? Just dont understand !!! he told my friend he still likes me and doesnt know why we broke up?!


Any advice would be appreciated!!! thanks in advance!

Sounds to me like the 2 of you made plans a couple of days ago for tonight, right?

It was only 2 days ago, just follow through with the plans, not a big deal.

Also, do you not feel comfortable asking him why you broke up? It sounds like you're wondering, he's the only one with the answer?

I've found that letting my friends communicate ANYTHING to my guy on my behalf, whether they think it's helpful or not, always hinders the relationship, especially if it is new and a little confused. Ask your friends to stay out of it for you, and talk to him yourself.

Okay I'm going to go out on a limb and say your friend sold him the whole FWB thing, I'm not blaming your friend for anything, I'm sure she was only trying to help you appear desirable and strong in front of him but to tell a man you used to be in a relationship with that you just wanna be his f*ck buddy well that is horrible IMO....I hope you cleaned that up but if you didn't clean it up and make it clear that you see him as more than that then he most likely he took that comment seriously plus you went back to his place that night so that kind of solidified her statement as true....He's definitely blowing you off and not attempting to get close to you, he's keeping enough distance between the 2 of you as to not lead you on/mislead you, it could be because of what your friend said and it also could be because you 2 haven't discussed why you both broke up and haven't discussed getting back together. It's all pretty awkward and the more you don't get to the bottom of things the more confusing this is going to be for you....

If he's not attempting to patch up the relationship eg get back to together with you then I have to agree with Krys and come to the conclusion that he's comfortable being friends with benefits or just friends without the benefits but for sure due to his inaction in resolving the break up it appears he's not interested in being your boyfriend again least not right now.

I think sometimes women are so used to a man not being capable of having strictly platonic relationships with the opposite sex, so much so that when a man actually & genuienly does JUST want to be friends, 1. The woman will always assume that there must be some kind of sneaky or hidden intention behind it or that 2. He's playing mind games. This guy broke off the relationship with you & thus has been regularly contacting you in the way that any normal person would communicate with their friends. He's not necessarily doing anything out of the ordinary. It's just that YOU have not yet let go emotionally. And if it's not that, then it appears that you haven't yet acknowledged or accepted the reality that you 2 are no longer romantically linked. Him calling you now just to say hi or him agreeing to hang with you for the day is not anything sneaky or unusual. This guy just didn't have as deep as feelings for you the way you did or the way you THOUGHT he did. Until you accept that and/or realize that, everything he does/doesn't do is always going to seem suspicious to you.

Has it ever occured to you that this guy sincerely does love just your friendship with you? He might contact you and/or agree to hang out with you occasionally as his way of proving to you that he'd give you the same energy & time of day in the way that he would his other friends. However, he might not follow up on plans with you or be as consistent with you (in the way that he probably was when he was actually IN a relationship with you) as a means of him making sure that he doesn't give you too much of his time/energy, as to make sure that you never get the impression that he's leading you on or trying to fool you or make you think that he wants more than what he really does. As the saying goes, "When we get too much from someone else, it's never enough. But yet when we get too little, we always want more. My advice to you would be to stop overanalyzing his actions/words so much so that you'll naturally end up placing him in the "damned if he does/don't" category.

And if you having that contact or that time with him is what's hindering you from being able to move on and/or from making you still hold on to/expect certain things from him that a friend shouldn't, then take some of the control back & do what you've gotta do to prevent your emotions from taking over and/or possibly driving you crazy. BUT, don't make him regret salvaging atleast a friendship with you

Some men are actually very up front about their expectations & desires. Seems like this man is literally SHOWING you better than he can TELL you exactly what it is that he wants from you. And it sounds like the answer is just friendship. And if the problem is in you not accepting that or in you wanting more, than just say that. Technically, there is nothing wrong with this guy saying an occasional "hi" or "Hey let's hang out" every blue moon. And if him doing so brings back emotional feelings or stirs up emotional confusion in you, then YOU have to take a step back & 1. Not be so available & 2. Not place yourself in situations that are likely to cause you so much paranoia and/or emotional confusion. Sounds like you turn into a kid in a candy store every time he contacts you, & hey that's fine & cute for now. BUT, if you're so geeked b/c you're sitting on the edge of your seat waiting on things to go back to how they were, you might be disappointed.

If this Aqua male wanted to rekindle a relationship with you, he would've made that clear by now. He would've made that clear by going above & beyond a simple, "Hi" or occasional hang out session. Aqua men can be confusing, but they aren't necessarily idiots either. I don't necessarily agree that this guy should be so inconsistent as much as he is with you, BUT then again, at this point it's on YOU if you keep allowing him to make you an option instead of a priority. I think you need space & a little bit of distance from him. Seems like you have some unfinished business with this guy, along with some questions you want answered. And if that's the case, that's fine but make that clear to him now, instead of harboring all this analyzing behavior, b/c trust me, it'll drive you crazy.

From just what you've shared with us, it doesn't seem as if this guy is leading you on or giving you the wrong impression. If he were still mentioning his love for you and/or trying to lure you into the bedroom every 5 minutes, that'd be a different story, BUT don't let your confusion about this make it so that you end up misinterpreting everything he does. Don't make him regret trying to keep what little friendship you 2 have left, going. If you can't handle it, then accept that & move on. If so, don't worry about every little thing he says/does/doesn't do