something more

Ive been in a friends with benefit relationship with an aqua for quite some time. Ive expressed to him that I would like more but I see that he is quite comfortable with things the way they are. Is there any way to get us on the same page? When were together we have so much fun I dont understand why he wouldn't want more then again I don't understand aquas at all. Any insight would be useful.

My insight is what I said in another topic regarding friends with benefits... "Eventually one or the other wants more and then you get a big confused mess."

You have expressed that you want more but you can see that he is quite comfortable with the current situation. So, basically he hasn't expressed his desire of wanting the same thing that you do. He doesn't want to progress this from friends with benefits to a relationship. You do. He doesn't. There is your answer.

I heard something on the radio the other day kind of pertaining to this kind of stuff. The guy was like...you're his friend and you already have sex with him. He already has what he wants.

I kind of feel like a guy that enters a FWB situation already has no desire to be in a committed relationship. If he did, he'd be shooting for a relationship, no? I just can't see a situation develop where a guy starts out just wanting a FWB situation and then wants something different. I mean if he develops feelings, then what? He'll want to spend time with you (which he already does), he'll want to have sex with you (which he already does)...the only difference would be he'd have to be faithful. Why would he choose that for himself when he already has what he wants?

I'm not saying men never want relationships...in fact, I know MANY that do. But the ones that do would never be out there looking for a FWB type of situation in the first place. 😢

Shadows in right with what she said. The guy is in a strong position but you allowed him to be there. I would maybe not waste your time on this one; don't hold it against him. You went into this situation with your eyes open too. You know the deal, or should do when it comes to friends with benefits. Good luck.

Stop having sex with him.

You'll feel a lot better about the situation if you do. Carry on shagging him and you'll get more and more emotionally invested and he'll see you FWB forever. You'll be humiliated.

Stop shagging him.

It's actually quite simple. He's a man 1st before he's anything (Cough: Aqua) so understand that if a woman/person in general is willing to freely give something w/o making the other person fully earn it, they WILL take that to their advantage. Enough with all this "Aqua" stuff. He's the typical man who will NOT buy the cow if he can get the milk for free.

1. You guys have got to STOP acting like and/or doing the things that people in relationships do. If that means you both cuddle, STOP. If that means you're both having sex, STOP. If that means you're both saying sweet nothings in eachother's ears at night, STOP. If that means you're both investing alot of energy/time into eachother like only people in relationships are/should be doing, STOP.

You know what a REAL/platonic friendship is. You guys may not have the title but as long as you're both acting like you're in a relationship, it should be no surprise that he won't officially give you that title. Why would he? Wouldn't you rob a bank if you knew you'd get away with it too?!

Why should he wife you up? He's getting all of the benefits from you (physical, mental, psychological, & emotional stimulation) WITHOUT the title. Why should he go out of his way to fix what's NOT broken?

It's ok to give SOME of yourself to someone when you're dating them b/c after all, they won't know what you're about and/or who/what they're getting themselves into unless they can see SOMETHING. BUT you probably messed up when you gave this guy your all as if he was actually your official man. He has nothing to look forward to b/c the challenge is already over. He's already "earned" all of your goodies/benefits WITHOUT having to commit to you so don't be so surprised that he doesn't want to put in the extra work for the same ole benefits he can still get WITHOUT any effort.

Stop giving it up to him. Stop treating him like he's your boyfriend. And if after he stops, he wifes you up, good for you. BUT if he doesn't, it's b/c he made the decision a long time ago to ride this thing out until you finally realize you deserved more/better. If he wanted to commit to you, he would've done it by now.