What is he thinking?

I've not been around here forever but something recently happened that I am hoping someone can state an opinion on. I was involved with an Aquarian male online and we met once in real life, which turned into a very magical day. Anyway, we had lived about 4 hours apart and things didn't progress into something more except in my head. I had sent him an email back in Oct of 2007 with the subject line of Still thinking of you, no reply back and then in March of 2008 I sent him my final email with a best wishes, have a nice life sort of message but the last time I had actually heard from him before was May of 2007, we met in June of 2006, and we carried on email correspondence for a year with me emailing more letters. Well at the beginning of this year I had sent him a simple message in yahoo messenger wishing him a Happy New Year. A couple days later I got a reply, not through yahoo messenger but through another email address replying back to the original email I sent with the subject line Still thinking of you. He wrote that he didnt have much time to write now but wanted me to know that he appreciated that I wrote and will write more soon and that was it. I wrote him a message letting him know that I hope to hear from him soon and a week later no response so I wrote him a letter letting him know the happenings and that I would love to see him and talk to him. Naturally hearing from him has stirred up all kinds of emotions. Just for the record we do share the same birthday but he is older about 5 years. I guess I am wondering if there is a second chance out there for me or if I am just fantasizing something out of nothing. Please help with your thoughts about this. What do you think I should do?

Well, with you being an Aqua I think the answer to your own question might be a little easier to find then you think. The very fact that the relationship & communication was going fast pace for over a year shows that at one point in time he was very interested in you & saw you as someone he found worthy of getting to know. But if the communication & connection have been kind of void then that's probably because somewhere a long the line those feelings that you are worthy of going further with, changed. I do think it's possible that your feelings & emotions about him may be further advanced in the friendship/relationship than his. But either way. Even though Aquas are known for the "distant" thing, it's not like we're idiots who don't realize when we have a good thing. If this guy had've been wishy washy from the beginning then I don't think this situation would've been as confusing. But since all of the sudden he's "too busy" now just means that he's emotionally detached himself from whatever possibility of the 2 of you growing (in terms of a relationship.)

Alot of people are busy & have their own lives (and that becomes even more apparant when you're dating someone online), but even the average distant, detached & picky Aqua will make time for something when they feel it is really worth it. This guy wasn't "too busy" for that whole year the 2 of you were communicating & connecting. If you had done something to personally betray him he probably wouldn't have responded to you at all. But it all makes sense. He personally decided that you were not someone he could see himself being with long term (and you might not have done anything wrong), so to be nice & to make sure that you know he's not upset or annoyed by you, he will wait & respond to you when it's absolutely necessary. Trust me, he got your email the first night you sent it. But something in him didn't feel it necessary to jump to the gun & write back. His emotions & intuitive wasn't telling him to get those butterflies that we all get when we hear from someone we adore. So unfortunately, I think all of this just means that he's emotionally detached from you & doesn't feel guilty about it b/c he believes that his distance towards you alone is the same as him verbally saying, "this is not going to work."

If I were you, I'd just let it go. I'm iffy about the online dating thing anyways b/c I think having a long distance relationship requires twice as much communication, satisfaction & spunk to keep the "interest" afloat.

And hey, this guy might be a workaholic & might really not be the type to check his email every single day, but like I said because of the fact that he started out (with you) making time for you (b/c I'm sure he's not THAT much more busy now then he was then), just makes me believe that he is telling you it's not going to work w/o hurting your feelings & actually saying so. Even if this guy did have a hectic schedule, if he really saw something worth growing into with you, he would've made a big effort to keep up the communication in some way, shape or form rather it be through the phone, seeing eachother in person or over emails.

His patterns changed because his emotions & feelings toward you did. And when it comes to the online dating thing, all I can tell you to do is instead of being the typical Aqua and analyzing everything (what went wrong? what did I do? How can I reel him in again), just take it as a loss. And who knows, this guy might've senses that you were getting way more attached emotionally than he was & for that reason alone alot of Aqua men will immediately shy away from you, slowly but carefully. He's being careful by writing you back at all (that explains why he doesn't write back in a timely manner).

Ya it makes sense. I guess the thing that got me was the fact that he still had the email that I sent in 2007 and although I had sent numerous emails during that year, he had replied to the one with the subject still thinking about you so it made me feel like he was maybe trying to test things out to see what I might do, to see if I still wanted him like I did before maybe. Well that is perhaps just hopeful thinking on my part and he should make more of an effort for me to put so much energy into it. He could have easily replied to my yahoo message but didnt. In my opinion he purposely replied to that old email that had a big message in the subject line. Why would he do that?

I suppose that email is pretty late. I did let him go and allowed myself to become involved with someone local to me when he began to distant himself, however, I still don't feel 100% towards my current boyfriend for reasons not related to this so it leaves me open to wonder. It seems that I've made too much out of this. I guess I was shocked just to get anything from him at all because I never expected to hear from him again even though the message was brief, it was sent. It is a little unnerving to me that something so small and simple can have such an effect on me and I do feel a little foolish over the entire issue. I often feel that I am on the verge of major changes but don't even know what that entails. I feel like for a long time I haven't gotten what is truly right for me and it is about time for me and I keep hearing the luck is in for Aquas this year so maybe my luck in love will turn, who knows, it has been a very frustrating time.

Well, regardless of the sign, alot of men (even though they have emotionally cut off any chances of growth with you) will still "test the grounds" just to see if you are still interested in them. It feeds their ego to know that when they are finally done putting you off, they can STILL come back into your life (in the flash of a second) & still stir up emotions from you. It sucks & I think that's the last thing that a man should pride himself about, but hey it happens.

And back on the Aquarius thing. You oughta know this just being an Aqua that once we emotionally detach from someone, there is no turning back. Sure, we might communicate with them every once in a while (keyword) & we do that just to let the person know that there is no bad blood. But even though we are known to be distanct & wishy washy when we're interested in someone is completely different than what he's done. Even though an Aquarian will play the "distant" game, it's not like we'll go to the extreme of wanting the other person to think we don't even know them anymore, especially when that person didn't personally wrong us. He took the "distance" thing to another level & that was his way of showing you better than telling you that whatever the two of you had before is now gone. I think you're reading too much into it by analyzing what specific "subject line" he chose to write you back with. If you're going to pay attention to anything he does for the purpose of finding out what the two of you will ever be, atleast pay attention to the 90% of ignoring he's doing to you. Don't let that 1% chance of hope (all because of a particular subject line) lead you back into those same emotions.

Once an Aquarian has let go, there is nothing you can do. In fact, if he knew how confused & emotional you were being at this point he'd probably be even more turned off by you & then he'd suprise you & actually never speak to you again. Aquarians want ONLY those we are truly interested in or already love, attached to us. It does us no good to have those we've "passed off" still attached to us. In fact, after a while, it becomes kind of an annoyance to us & we start to lose respect for that person b/c we take their emotions towards us as vulnerability & weakness: the 2 things Aquas despise

Just move on, take it as a loss & learn. I wish this guy would've told you why he decided to just break away from you but hey, sometimes men don't ever tell us those things so it's our job to figure out what WE did wrong, because we can sit all year & talk about what HE did wrong. What the 2 of you had is over with & the sooner you stop making something out of nothing, you'll be at more peace with yourself. See, you're an Aqua so I can understand why you have that feeling of "well if you don't like me anymore, that's fine but atleast tell me what I did wrong" because we are naturally curious & are usually the ones to do the "letting down." And it hurts our pride deeply when we're let go off & cut off with no explanation. And it always makes it worse when that somebody decides to finally realize we still exist months later, which to me is like a slap to the face.

If this guy writes you again (whether it's tomorrow or 2 months from now) don't respond because it will you no good. Play the same game he's playing. He decided to communicate with you through ACTIONS (E.I. making it clear that you were an option & no longer a priority) so the best way to move on is to remember how he played the cards when it's his turn to contact you. Show him with your ACTIONS that you have moved on & when you do, don't be suprised if he (for a moment) starts to test you again..but that's just something alot of men do when they realize that we are not as vulnerable, attached & dependable as they thought. It'll hurt his pride for a short second but eventually he'll get over it & go back to being the same guy he was to you & the worst thing you can do during this time is to give in all over again. Just let it go. That Aqua thing we do (over-analyzing every little detail) is good for some things but in this case, it's going to be what drives you crazy & what potentially stops you from growing with others who actually put you as #1 and not #1,000 like he did. Good luck!

Thanks, you make great points. I think we are good often at giving out the advice but not so good at following it. One thing you drove home is the fact that I've been an option not a priority. It will take great will power on my part not to respond should he actually write again, which I don't even know if he will. I know I deserve more than he can offer and I shouldn't put more energy into it.