ki11aqu33n
@ki11aqu33n
11 YearsPisces
Comments: 0 · Posts: 12 · Topics: 1
What is this Aqua man doing to me?
(I was reading with a smile on my face)lol
It sounds to me like he really likes you. I hope the aqua males can help you on this one
but me being female I would not introduce someone I knew I had no future with to my parents.
It would kind of seem like he wants to take things easy and feels if he places girl friend title on
you things will go sour.
I would also feel disappointed if someone I cared about did not text me everyday. His words sound to be very true. Did you know him before October 2013? I would say keep doing what you are doing, it sounds like he likes having you around but dont look into it to much because yes it is still early that's why I asked about how long you have know each other minus the friends with benefit stage.
It sounds to me like he really likes you. I hope the aqua males can help you on this one
but me being female I would not introduce someone I knew I had no future with to my parents.
It would kind of seem like he wants to take things easy and feels if he places girl friend title on
you things will go sour.
I would also feel disappointed if someone I cared about did not text me everyday. His words sound to be very true. Did you know him before October 2013? I would say keep doing what you are doing, it sounds like he likes having you around but dont look into it to much because yes it is still early that's why I asked about how long you have know each other minus the friends with benefit stage.
thanks for answering back so soon!! I met him in the beginning of september when I moved back to my home city from a very bad bad breakup. He even has said "umbrella" by Rihanna and Jay-Z is how he feels toward me but I need to know straight up no games and such. Then I have men whom aren't aqua's tell me he is playing mind games with me and using me and I usually have a keen knack for sensing that and I don't sense it from him.
He has also mentioned to me that when people are serious with one another then things do go sour, so I can understand what you are saying about that for sure. I just do know I love him, heart, body and soul. I swear I felt a magnetic pull toward him when I me him. And we slept together after a month of us chatting, texting hanging out and even skyping lol.
Just now he is distant and I've dated so many aquas beforehand but they were young like teenagers and I was young, this time around not so young, him and I lol.
He has also mentioned to me that when people are serious with one another then things do go sour, so I can understand what you are saying about that for sure. I just do know I love him, heart, body and soul. I swear I felt a magnetic pull toward him when I me him. And we slept together after a month of us chatting, texting hanging out and even skyping lol.
Just now he is distant and I've dated so many aquas beforehand but they were young like teenagers and I was young, this time around not so young, him and I lol.
I would say the same. I think that's a good sign. I am an aqua girl with an aqua guy. Same situation..exactly..however...we have been at this a year. Never met his son, family or friends...and honestly I am about to walk away for the last time.
I am very happy for you!!!
I am very happy for you!!!
Posted by ex2mommy
I would say the same. I think that's a good sign. I am an aqua girl with an aqua guy. Same situation..exactly..however...we have been at this a year. Never met his son, family or friends...and honestly I am about to walk away for the last time.
I am very happy for you!!!
I'm terribly sorry to hear that my dear. I've almost walked a few times but he just keeps pulling me back to him, it's like he senses I am about to.
I met his best friends just after we slept together the first time, and I even went to a new year party with him at his friend's house and he even gave me my new year kiss.
So all in all what he is doing is good? Like I said prior, he used to text me everyday but I'll be lucky if he will reply back to me. I've even caught him staring at me. And he has cooked for me and done so much for me. I don't know, I made the rookie mistake of prematurely saying I love you to him right after his birthday which by the way I spoiled him for.
I just miss the everyday convo and seeing eachother every weekend. Now it's like I don't exist but when we are together he doens't even pay attention to his phone. Sorry my answers are all so long.
But all your guys' help is awesome, thank you!
This is why I've never been in an FWB situation, too much false hope given to the female in the situation.
FWB's do hang out without sex. FWB situations have a lot of gray areas and the rules are pretty much set by the individual persons involved which means he may not have firm boundaries about meeting his son, friends and family members.
"He told me he wasn't looking for a relationship yet"
I suggest you listen. Get out of la la land that's stuffed with creamsicles filled with hope and listen.
When a man disappears for 2 weeks he's attempting to RESET the situation with you back to FWB/back to the beginning.
There can be no moving forward if he's periodically moving backwards but he does not want and will not come right out and say I'm in it for the sex only because you would have the control and power to decide to discontinue the physical part of the connection.
A man can have sex with you, enjoy your company, introduce you to the priest, the choir, the whole family and talk about you and still not want a relationship. Sex and commitment are not one in the same.
He's committed to you but does not want a relationship---utter world salad--pure bullshit. Selling false hope to keep you in the position you're in.
I believe you're missing the mark on this one. Your guy friends most likely are 99.999% accurate about this guy. Why? Because those very same guy friends are either doing the same thing to someone or have done it before.
You've lost control over this situation because rebound or not you settled for less and you put yourself in a position to hope for more and that kind of hope for more space feels powerless as if you have no say in the direction you wanna go with him or with any man.
You're in a sticky position because you now have to WAIT and WAIT and WAIT and HOPE and HOPE and HOPE that every word/behavior means something, that the we talk is really about "us and we" always reading between the lines.
I dunno if you can do better but at some point you'll have to figure out if you can and if you will do better. If this drags on longer than a year you're stuck not just emotionally but in every way possible.
FWB's do hang out without sex. FWB situations have a lot of gray areas and the rules are pretty much set by the individual persons involved which means he may not have firm boundaries about meeting his son, friends and family members.
"He told me he wasn't looking for a relationship yet"
I suggest you listen. Get out of la la land that's stuffed with creamsicles filled with hope and listen.
When a man disappears for 2 weeks he's attempting to RESET the situation with you back to FWB/back to the beginning.
There can be no moving forward if he's periodically moving backwards but he does not want and will not come right out and say I'm in it for the sex only because you would have the control and power to decide to discontinue the physical part of the connection.
A man can have sex with you, enjoy your company, introduce you to the priest, the choir, the whole family and talk about you and still not want a relationship. Sex and commitment are not one in the same.
He's committed to you but does not want a relationship---utter world salad--pure bullshit. Selling false hope to keep you in the position you're in.
I believe you're missing the mark on this one. Your guy friends most likely are 99.999% accurate about this guy. Why? Because those very same guy friends are either doing the same thing to someone or have done it before.
You've lost control over this situation because rebound or not you settled for less and you put yourself in a position to hope for more and that kind of hope for more space feels powerless as if you have no say in the direction you wanna go with him or with any man.
You're in a sticky position because you now have to WAIT and WAIT and WAIT and HOPE and HOPE and HOPE that every word/behavior means something, that the we talk is really about "us and we" always reading between the lines.
I dunno if you can do better but at some point you'll have to figure out if you can and if you will do better. If this drags on longer than a year you're stuck not just emotionally but in every way possible.
Posted by tiki33
This is why I've never been in an FWB situation, too much false hope given to the female in the situation.
FWB's do hang out without sex. FWB situations have a lot of gray areas and the rules are pretty much set by the individual persons involved which means he may not have firm boundaries about meeting his son, friends and family members.
"He told me he wasn't looking for a relationship yet"
I suggest you listen. Get out of la la land that's stuffed with creamsicles filled with hope and listen.
When a man disappears for 2 weeks he's attempting to RESET the situation with you back to FWB/back to the beginning.
There can be no moving forward if he's periodically moving backwards but he does not want and will not come right out and say I'm in it for the sex only because you would have the control and power to decide to discontinue the physical part of the connection.
A man can have sex with you, enjoy your company, introduce you to the priest, the choir, the whole family and talk about you and still not want a relationship. Sex and commitment are not one in the same.
He's committed to you but does not want a relationship---utter world salad--pure bullshit. Selling false hope to keep you in the position you're in.
I believe you're missing the mark on this one. Your guy friends most likely are 99.999% accurate about this guy. Why? Because those very same guy friends are either doing the same thing to someone or have done it before.
You've lost control over this situation because rebound or not you settled for less and you put yourself in a position to hope for more and that kind of hope for more space feels powerless as if you have no say in the direction you wanna go with him or with any man.
You're in a sticky position because you now have to WAIT and WAIT and WAIT and HOPE and HOPE and HOPE that every word/behavior means something, that the we talk is really about "us and we" always reading between the lines.
I dunno if you can do better but at some point you'll have to figure out if you can and if you will do better. If this drags on longer than a year you're stuck not just emotionally but in every way possible.
I do see what you're saying however he has blatantly mentioned to me that he doesn't just introduce anyone into his sons' life or his parents' lives. I guess I'll just have to see what is going to h
Posted by mz
i am an aqua female....but i think i know what i am saying...don't hope for much....sicerely...
introducing sb to my parents means NOTHING to me...i could introduce him tonight and leave him next day...it's my life, not my parents...we make commitments to ourselves, not to society or family members...
read tiki's post...she was more patient describing it. pretty much this is the thinking process...
thank you, I'll do it
i am an aqua female....but i think i know what i am saying...don't hope for much....sicerely...
introducing sb to my parents means NOTHING to me...i could introduce him tonight and leave him next day...it's my life, not my parents'...we make commitments to and for ourselves, not to/for society or family members...
read tiki's post...she was more patient describing it. pretty much this is the thinking process...
introducing sb to my parents means NOTHING to me...i could introduce him tonight and leave him next day...it's my life, not my parents'...we make commitments to and for ourselves, not to/for society or family members...
read tiki's post...she was more patient describing it. pretty much this is the thinking process...
Posted by ki11aqu33nPosted by mz
i am an aqua female....but i think i know what i am saying...don't hope for much....sicerely...
introducing sb to my parents means NOTHING to me...i could introduce him tonight and leave him next day...it's my life, not my parents...we make commitments to ourselves, not to society or family members...
read tiki's post...she was more patient describing it. pretty much this is the thinking process...
thank you, I'll do itclick to expand
😄 you were so quick...i am dead tired...i noticed some mistakes/confusing things in there and tried to quicly hide it...but you were sooooooooooo quick, tiki... 😄
I'm sorry I'm showing my frustrations I'm just confused and if I didn't have the relationship with his son I would just walk
watery emotionality...
don't make me be bad to you...please...
when you started your FWB situation, you were ok with using each other...now you are not...plus we, all the aquas are at fault with him not committing to a woman who has accepted a FWB situation because she was "on the rebound"....jeeeeeeeeesus!!!
i'd rather you showed this frustration to him and to you, not to me or tiki or whomever on here...
you have a "relationship" with his son...maybe you should have secured a relationship with the father first and then get the little guy involved...this was immature of both of you...
don't make me be bad to you...please...
when you started your FWB situation, you were ok with using each other...now you are not...plus we, all the aquas are at fault with him not committing to a woman who has accepted a FWB situation because she was "on the rebound"....jeeeeeeeeesus!!!
i'd rather you showed this frustration to him and to you, not to me or tiki or whomever on here...
you have a "relationship" with his son...maybe you should have secured a relationship with the father first and then get the little guy involved...this was immature of both of you...
Posted by mz
watery emotionality...
don't make me be bad to you...please...
when you started your FWB situation, you were ok with using each other...now you are not...plus we, all the aquas are at fault with him not committing to a woman who has accepted a FWB situation because she was "on the rebound"....jeeeeeeeeesus!!!
i'd rather you showed this frustration to him and to you, not to me or tiki or whomever on here...
you have a "relationship" with his son...maybe you should have secured a relationship with the father first and then get the little guy involved...this was immature of both of you...
I'm sorry if you feel like I'm personally attacking you or Tiki or whomever else, I'm not. I'm just seeing inconsistency in answers and I mean I know I posted on a public forum where anyone can pick and choose whatever little bit of advice from perfect strangers, but from what I've read from other forums. That these men will when attracted to you will act in the opposite way of his feelings. So that being said, only time will tell.
Yes I'm frustrated at the fact I've been wasting time on a situation that you are saying will go nowhere and what will any woman do? show frustrations I didn't come out and personally attack you, that was your own assumption. I was just wanting some clarity, some opinions and yes, I didn't like what you or Tiki have said. Truth hurts and yeah I may have reacted hastily but none the less I am human and have feelings and NO ONE deserves to be treated with this aloofness, or hot and cold shit. This is not a Katy Perry song this is real life.
Thank you though for all the words of wisdom and I will just walk away from him for good.
Posted by Sugarfoot
Oh yea, I forgot to mention that I've had a situation like this with an aqua before (minus kids). He was very good at blurring the lines between being in a relationship and being fwbs. He wanted everything that came with a loving relationship, but he did not want the responsibility that comes with the title. It wasn't until I left (for good) that he wanted to make it official.
I must've deleted something to make that quote messed up...
This is simply what I'm going through. one minute he says we are friends, then we are friends with benefits, then we are seeing one another then friends again. How did you just walk away so easily?
I think about him more then I'd like to admit it. How did he react when you walked away?
that's what I wrote lol not sugarfoot.
This is simply what I'm going through. one minute he says we are friends, then we are friends with benefits, then we are seeing one another then friends again. How did you just walk away so easily?
I think about him more then I'd like to admit it. How did he react when you walked away?
that's what I wrote lol not sugarfoot.
Posted by ki11aqu33n
I must've deleted something to make that quote messed up...
This is simply what I'm going through. one minute he says we are friends, then we are friends with benefits, then we are seeing one another then friends again. How did you just walk away so easily?
I think about him more then I'd like to admit it. How did he react when you walked away?
that's what I wrote lol not sugarfoot.
Be clear with yourself first. Do you want a relationship with him? Are you uncomfortable the way it is now??
Don't just walk away because you are never going to know what he's thinking. Convey what you would like for yourself, in your life right now.
Alot of women don't have this talk because they are afraid of what the answers will be.
Also, be ready to walk away if he can't meet your needs.
He will respect you way more for laying it all out instead of putting up with scraps.
Posted by aquapiscescuspPosted by ki11aqu33n
I must've deleted something to make that quote messed up...
This is simply what I'm going through. one minute he says we are friends, then we are friends with benefits, then we are seeing one another then friends again. How did you just walk away so easily?
I think about him more then I'd like to admit it. How did he react when you walked away?
that's what I wrote lol not sugarfoot.
Be clear with yourself first. Do you want a relationship with him? Are you uncomfortable the way it is now??
Don't just walk away because you are never going to know what he's thinking. Convey what you would like for yourself, in your life right now.
Alot of women don't have this talk because they are afraid of what the answers will be.
Also, be ready to walk away if he can't meet your needs.
He will respect you way more for laying it all out instead of putting up with scraps.
click to expand
This ^^.
Just tell him you're interested in a real relationship and that's what YOU need in your life right now (if that's what you want). Ask him what his thoughts are on that. Don't tell him what he is doing wrong, focus on you and what you want in YOUR future. Don't word it where it includes him, just word it where its about what you want. This is what mature women do.
If he says he can't provide that, then you have your que to walk, because he is happy with the status quo and isn't going to change it.
It's really very simple.
Posted by aquapiscescuspPosted by ki11aqu33n
I must've deleted something to make that quote messed up...
This is simply what I'm going through. one minute he says we are friends, then we are friends with benefits, then we are seeing one another then friends again. How did you just walk away so easily?
I think about him more then I'd like to admit it. How did he react when you walked away?
that's what I wrote lol not sugarfoot.
Be clear with yourself first. Do you want a relationship with him? Are you uncomfortable the way it is now??
Don't just walk away because you are never going to know what he's thinking. Convey what you would like for yourself, in your life right now.
Alot of women don't have this talk because they are afraid of what the answers will be.
Also, be ready to walk away if he can't meet your needs.
He will respect you way more for laying it all out instead of putting up with scraps.
click to expand
I know that I do want companionship with him, and that is a form of relationship. I am doing what I need to do for myself. Working concentrating on getting a new vehicle all the good of life. I just cannot help that he is in my thoughts and I know he is an independant man and I shouldn't have to rely on him, but I don't know maybe the others were right when they say I don't stimulate his mind. I just stimulate his body.
I have been scared to give him my requirements and to find out he won't meet my needs, because then I know I have to walk away, and I know it will break my heart to do so, but I cannot keep living like this. Wondering, hoping, and what if he meets someone else and I get left in the cold? It doesn't matter. Thank you.
Posted by truecapPosted by aquapiscescuspPosted by ki11aqu33n
I must've deleted something to make that quote messed up...
This is simply what I'm going through. one minute he says we are friends, then we are friends with benefits, then we are seeing one another then friends again. How did you just walk away so easily?
I think about him more then I'd like to admit it. How did he react when you walked away?
that's what I wrote lol not sugarfoot.
Be clear with yourself first. Do you want a relationship with him? Are you uncomfortable the way it is now??
Don't just walk away because you are never going to know what he's thinking. Convey what you would like for yourself, in your life right now.
Alot of women don't have this talk because they are afraid of what the answers will be.
Also, be ready to walk away if he can't meet your needs.
He will respect you way more for laying it all out instead of putting up with scraps.
This ^^.
Just tell him you're interested in a real relationship and that's what YOU need in your life right now (if that's what you want). Ask him what his thoughts are on that. Don't tell him what he is doing wrong, focus on you and what you want in YOUR future. Don't word it where it includes him, just word it where its about what you want. This is what mature women do.
If he says he can't provide that, then you have your que to walk, because he is happy with the status quo and isn't going to change it.
It's really very simple.
click to expand
Thank you 🙂 bottom line is I have to have the convo with him. I mean i can post all the questions I want, and receive all the answers I want, but the bottomline is that if I don't know for sure, then I'll be doomed.
I do appreciate all these words from everyone, even if I don't like the answers and do feel like crying. But thank you.
Posted by ki11aqu33nPosted by mz
watery emotionality...
don't make me be bad to you...please...
when you started your FWB situation, you were ok with using each other...now you are not...plus we, all the aquas are at fault with him not committing to a woman who has accepted a FWB situation because she was "on the rebound"....jeeeeeeeeesus!!!
i'd rather you showed this frustration to him and to you, not to me or tiki or whomever on here...
you have a "relationship" with his son...maybe you should have secured a relationship with the father first and then get the little guy involved...this was immature of both of you...
I'm sorry if you feel like I'm personally attacking you or Tiki or whomever else, I'm not. .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Thank you though for all the words of wisdom and I will just walk away from him for good.click to expand
now this is a position we really can sit and talk.
everybody here understands your frustrations and bad mood...just try to keep yourself logical and less emotional when talking about it.
sincerely i haven't been in a situation like yours but here is what i think: stop taking ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as a sign of commitment. start from where you are. stop asking him for a relationship...this will give him the control over this.
these kind of men have commitment issues. if you openly push for a relationship, he'll resist. if you walk away, he'll come after you, but you'll never be sure if it is because of his male ego or because he really wants to be with you...
the talk..never a good idea...what about getting more involved in YOUR LIFE and letting him come after you...if he does...lucky you...if he doesn't...lucky you again...but this requires tiiiiiiiiiime and self control...too much work for a man... 🙂)
sincerely, again, i don't know if it/he is worth the effort. right now you are caught up in this and its outcome but detache yourself a bit and ask yourself if you really need a man who is confusing you like hell
sorry for snapping at you...but you needed a cold shower 🙂 as you said, you are here
Posted by ki11aqu33n
So I've been a FWB since about October 2013 with this gorgeous single father Aqua. At first I was sure it was just a sexual attraction I had for him, but after I had him physically I wanted more of him. I met his son the second month we hung out and we have even hung out and not had sex so it wasn't just a FWB thing. We used to text everyday and see eachother every weekend. However since about January he started pulling away. When we hung out the first time after he pulled away for 2 weeks he almost said I love you to me, and I stopped him. He was drunk, and I didn't want him to regret saying it to me the next day and have my heart break. He told me he wasn't looking for a relationship yet, that he needed some time to figure himself out, and I was cool with that since I was on rebound anyways. He says to me he isn't looking for anyone else, or sleeping with anyone else, and he doesn't want to lose what we have, that he is committed to me but I don't have a title. Recently his son told me his dad loves me and when I asked his dad this, all he could reply was " I'm not ready to say I love you, since it is a strong term. I do care about you alot, and enjoy spending time with you, and you must be in great shape because I think about you daily. I also get disappointed when I don't see a text from you once a day" ... I didn't know how to take that. So two weeks ago we're all hanging out him, son and me and he turns to me and asks " want to meet the in-laws?" and I was so taken back by that I didn't know what to do, lol but I met his mom and dad and had dinner with them, it was so nice. When I left, his mom said to me "it was nice to finally meet you, I have heard so much about you."
So my question is WHAT IS HE DOING HERE??
Am I just being used for my company, or am I thinking too much into it, and he possibly may actually care for me? Please someone shed some light into this confused Pisces woman's mind.
You have 2 options..tell him what you want (ie. more time together, regular contact) and hope that he will make some effort, or move on with your life.
It sounds to me like he really likes you, but is going through some personal stuff. Believe him when he says he's not ready for a relationship. To be honest, you wouldn't want to be with someone who's not ready anyway... If he's a decent person he'll be working on whatever is holding him
..back. Have you asked him why he's not ready yet?
I have told him what I want. He has even agreed but has made no effort. He wants me around on his terms. We have seen each other 2x in 2 months. But he is in contact way more. He frustrates me.
I have decided to end it. I just can't be with someone who doesn't want to see me...or go out with me. I will be ending things this week...its going to be hard. We have broken out off 5 times and he comes back. This is the only way to get through to him and this time for good. I have completely lost interest because he doesn't want to make time for me. We have seen each other on a weekly basis until 3 months ago. We have been together a year...unofficially.
I know I have my work cut out for me when I do leave. 😢 He is so persistent.
He wants me when he can't have me...but when I am around he could care less.
I have decided to end it. I just can't be with someone who doesn't want to see me...or go out with me. I will be ending things this week...its going to be hard. We have broken out off 5 times and he comes back. This is the only way to get through to him and this time for good. I have completely lost interest because he doesn't want to make time for me. We have seen each other on a weekly basis until 3 months ago. We have been together a year...unofficially.
I know I have my work cut out for me when I do leave. 😢 He is so persistent.
He wants me when he can't have me...but when I am around he could care less.
OP wow...after reading through the whole thread..we are in very similar situations.
To be honest..I feel like we go through phases too. He is close for a few months with me and then not so much.
I agree...if he said he doesn't want a relationship...do believe that. Mine has stated he wants to get married again someday. But his actions don't show that or maybe I am just not the one.
The other thing that is ironic...he is contacting you less...for 10 months he would contact me once a week...now its daily...its way confusing. If I ask him about is..he says we are trying..he has admitted to liking me...well...to what extent I don't know.
He was burned. He was with someone for 4 years..she moved out of state and is now remarried. He is open with me about that. But I can't help that he got hurt. I feel like I am the one suffering now.
To be honest..I feel like we go through phases too. He is close for a few months with me and then not so much.
I agree...if he said he doesn't want a relationship...do believe that. Mine has stated he wants to get married again someday. But his actions don't show that or maybe I am just not the one.
The other thing that is ironic...he is contacting you less...for 10 months he would contact me once a week...now its daily...its way confusing. If I ask him about is..he says we are trying..he has admitted to liking me...well...to what extent I don't know.
He was burned. He was with someone for 4 years..she moved out of state and is now remarried. He is open with me about that. But I can't help that he got hurt. I feel like I am the one suffering now.
Posted by ex2mommy
He wants me when he can't have me...but when I am around he could care less.
he doesn't want YOU. he wants the woman who accepted this "thing without the responsibilities which come with a relationship".
i also think it's healthier for you to move on.
+1 MZ....Your last comment was TRUTH
Ex2 he made it very clear he does not want a relationship so you asking for one will create more distance and zero effort.
Why not figure out if this situation is healthy for you and then make an objective decision to take a break or just not spend so much of your waking hours in a non-relationship, set a few boundaries that benefit you and keep you sane.
Next time he comes around don't let him have you, let the phone ring, let him beg because that is what men with commitment issues love, they love to chase and beg, it makes them feel ALIVE and invigorated.
The word NO should be your friend which includes the words maybe, I dunno, we'll see, not right now, i'm busy maybe later and that's the kind of space you must live in with a man who has commitment issues, nothing can ever be about being in a normal healthy relationship. Distance, displaying distance should be your friend. Why? Because he'll always chase you down for something he doesn't want but that doesn't matter, chasing, begging, displaying little boy neediness invigorates a commitment shy man.
Can you live in a space where you want him but can never openly display wanting/needing him? Can you go against your relationship instincts and instead display apathy towards the chasing and begging as if he really wants you? It's hard to be that way because the chasing and begging and pleading is not real, once he wins he's gone again, you must understand he can never win.
Ex2 he made it very clear he does not want a relationship so you asking for one will create more distance and zero effort.
Why not figure out if this situation is healthy for you and then make an objective decision to take a break or just not spend so much of your waking hours in a non-relationship, set a few boundaries that benefit you and keep you sane.
Next time he comes around don't let him have you, let the phone ring, let him beg because that is what men with commitment issues love, they love to chase and beg, it makes them feel ALIVE and invigorated.
The word NO should be your friend which includes the words maybe, I dunno, we'll see, not right now, i'm busy maybe later and that's the kind of space you must live in with a man who has commitment issues, nothing can ever be about being in a normal healthy relationship. Distance, displaying distance should be your friend. Why? Because he'll always chase you down for something he doesn't want but that doesn't matter, chasing, begging, displaying little boy neediness invigorates a commitment shy man.
Can you live in a space where you want him but can never openly display wanting/needing him? Can you go against your relationship instincts and instead display apathy towards the chasing and begging as if he really wants you? It's hard to be that way because the chasing and begging and pleading is not real, once he wins he's gone again, you must understand he can never win.
Very good points...and no...I can't.
Its ending this week. I have had it. You are right...he will chase again...and again. Prob through lies in there to so he can try to get his way.
So no no no...haha
Its ending this week. I have had it. You are right...he will chase again...and again. Prob through lies in there to so he can try to get his way.
So no no no...haha
@ sugarfoot... I personally needed to hear that right now. I almost cried as I am currently planning my escape.
Its so true.
Its so true.
Posted by ex2mommy
I have told him what I want. He has even agreed but has made no effort. He wants me around on his terms. We have seen each other 2x in 2 months. But he is in contact way more. He frustrates me.
I have decided to end it. I just can't be with someone who doesn't want to see me...or go out with me. I will be ending things this week...its going to be hard. We have broken out off 5 times and he comes back. This is the only way to get through to him and this time for good. I have completely lost interest because he doesn't want to make time for me. We have seen each other on a weekly basis until 3 months ago. We have been together a year...unofficially.
I know I have my work cut out for me when I do leave. 😢 He is so persistent.
He wants me when he can't have me...but when I am around he could care less.
Why have the conversation?
Why not just stop contacting him and let it fade out. I have a feeling that if you allow him to contact you first, that he would initiate less and less.
Just go live your life like you're single. Sounds like this relationship has run its course and he's letting it dwindle down to less and less.
Just start dating.
Posted by SugarfootPosted by ki11aqu33n
I must've deleted something to make that quote messed up...
This is simply what I'm going through. one minute he says we are friends, then we are friends with benefits, then we are seeing one another then friends again. How did you just walk away so easily?
I think about him more then I'd like to admit it. How did he react when you walked away?
that's what I wrote lol not sugarfoot.
I didn't walk away easily. It was after 2.5 yrs of it. I was able to walk for good because I found out that he'd lied about some very important things and I knew I could never trust him and I was extremely disgusted.
When I left, at first, he thought it was just another cancellation notice, gave me some time, and then came back around like nothing ever happened. At this point usually I would cave and go back. When I kept rejecting him, he started doing desperate stuff like showing up to my job. Then being very persistent asking me to see him. Then, finally telling me his emotions and inviting me to meet family. Then saying he was ready to have it ALL with me (meaning he wanted to move in together, smh). I rejected and/or ignored. Fast forward to 3 yrs later, he texts about every 3 wks "checking up on me" and making sure I'm being treated well by my bf. As if he gives a fuck. He's just checking to see if I'm single again smh.
Just be prepared that when you leave, he will try to reel you back in. If you go back, don't expect anything to be different. It won't. As a matter of fact, the more times you go back, the worse the treatment will be because respect is diminished every time.click to expand
Good for you 🙂
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