Why am I so ridiculously insecure about him?

Well it sounds to me like you're naturally insecure here. Is this a friendship or a romantic relationship? Has he made his intentions clear? Have you asked him what his feelings are for you? Until you know the answers to those questions, you're not going to feel secure. What you need most now is clarity, not fantasy island. Talk to him about his feelings/intentions and then you'll have a better idea where you stand. Good luck.

It's become quite apparent we have that effect.

Here's a glass of scotch or help yourself to the wine cellar. Sleep is always good when impulse posting. Time will sort your feelings out - if not... WELL... I have more scotch.

Posted by aquasnoz
It's become quite apparent we have that effect.

Here's a glass of scotch or help yourself to the wine cellar. Sleep is always good when impulse posting. Time will sort your feelings out - if not... WELL... I have more scotch.

LOL - thanks for the response. At least I'm not alone.

you don't trust him/this relationship. PERIOD.

Posted by iamsoconfused

he just deleted his Facebook. I KNOW HOW DUMB THIS SOUNDS that I'm actually concerned about it.

I deactivate my FB all the time! People get all worried about me, "OMG Are you OK!?" or "Did you just flippin' block me!?". One person was like, "Wtf are you hiding from me? Come on, SHOW ME!" Lol, like damn, just hermiting y'all 😆

fucks sake why do you have to be so emo, creepy and desperate all at once? I can only handle one at a time??_.

You remind me of the reason why I didn't own a phone for 4 years and why I feel the need to boycott social media from time to time??_.just reading how you accentuate your obsession in caps makes me hyperventilate

You have a lot of energy and you need to direct it into somewhere more constructive than boys??_.why don't you join the army or learn some self discipline and do something with your life instead of chasing someone who's clearly not into you??_.(no matter how you look at it)

all T no shade.

Posted by iamsoconfused

Posted by sassafras

Posted by iamsoconfused

he just deleted his Facebook. I KNOW HOW DUMB THIS SOUNDS that I'm actually concerned about it.

I deactivate my FB all the time! People get all worried about me, "OMG Are you OK!?" or "Did you just flippin' block me!?". One person was like, "Wtf are you hiding from me? Come on, SHOW ME!" Lol, like damn, just hermiting y'all 😆

Lol ugh that's what I figured. I can't help but feel freaked out by it BUT IT'S JUST FACEBOOK!!! like who cares.

But then, if he is hermiting, would it be okay to text him or anything or would he be annoyed? When you deactivate your FB are you trying to get away from everyone? I know I just saw him 2 days ago but I wanna see him again! But then again, 3 times in less than a week seems like a lot of hanging out and maybe too much for him.

click to expand

Yup. I'll still hang out with people but not to the usual extent. Sometimes, you just need to disconnect from everything for a little bit. I'm sure he'll still chill with you but remember not to freak if he says not right now. We need a recharge period eventually.

Posted by sassafras

Posted by iamsoconfused

Posted by sassafras

Posted by iamsoconfused

he just deleted his Facebook. I KNOW HOW DUMB THIS SOUNDS that I'm actually concerned about it.

I deactivate my FB all the time! People get all worried about me, "OMG Are you OK!?" or "Did you just flippin' block me!?". One person was like, "Wtf are you hiding from me? Come on, SHOW ME!" Lol, like damn, just hermiting y'all 😆

Lol ugh that's what I figured. I can't help but feel freaked out by it BUT IT'S JUST FACEBOOK!!! like who cares.

But then, if he is hermiting, would it be okay to text him or anything or would he be annoyed? When you deactivate your FB are you trying to get away from everyone? I know I just saw him 2 days ago but I wanna see him again! But then again, 3 times in less than a week seems like a lot of hanging out and maybe too much for him.

Yup. I'll still hang out with people but not to the usual extent. Sometimes, you just need to disconnect from everything for a little bit. I'm sure he'll still chill with you but remember not to freak if he says not right now. We need a recharge period eventually.

click to expand

True. Thanks for the response and not preying on my ridiculous and vulnerable state lol. 🙂

Well, you know how the saying goes: Past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior...
I dunno..maybe he's going to do right by you this time. People do change..especially as they get older.
But, keep your guard up until you are absolutely positively sure he's not the same jerk as before.

@confused

I am in the same kind of situation. Aqua man has done the same to me in terms of flaking and treating me like crap (not literally - I just have expecations) and now that he's back "around" socially not physically...a part of me is freaking out with every little thing because what if the "old" him comes back and I get hurt again.

Problem is freaking out never solved anything. With Aquas, I'm learning is they sometimes are flip floppy...their reasons for doing things will never make sense to you unless you ask them and they directly tell you.

For example, aqua man told people that I fell off a stool the other day. He's normally a sweet guy and doesn't make fun of people he unless your a male buddy or he playfully teases a female, but when he told people that I fell off a stool I was shocked and hurt. I hate being talked about or at least embarrasing things talked about.

I asked him why and he said it was cuase he was asked if anything unusual happend to him on 4th and he mentioned me falling off his stool and I asked him why he would bring that up and he said "BEcause I was asked and it was funny". At first I didn't get it still and still kinda hurt. But when yout hink about it logically. He was asked about unusual things and me falling off a stool was unsual and it was kinda funny so after i processed the situation in my head it wasn't hurtful after all. Not that I'm justifying things he does but my point is they do things that don't make sense to the rest of us.

Plus keep in mind while they are unpredictable, their unpredictableness is predictable becasue there's a pattern in it. I guess anyone wanting to know or date an aqua has to be okay with things going slow, things being ambiguous unless he tells you things directly and you have to trust things they say. They are quite honest and indpendent.

They need women who has their own life and aren't dependent on attention then you will do ok.

@ Mystified

Thanks for the response! I know it is tough to deal with their mixed signals and flakiness. It's like, he will ask me out all the time and I always say yes but I feel like if I ask him out he will say no because now he has the power. I just don't want the tables to turn again to where he's the one in control. It's so dumb, I don't want to play games, but I'm too scared to risk being hurt by him again. At the same time, I don't want him to think I don't care about him or that this is a one-sided relationship.

AHH so frustrating! Good luck with yours 🙂

@confused that's why i stopped doing the asking because i'm afraid of the "no" thing too there are times where he will say no but yes to a male friend of yes. Then he'll say to me "Why didn't you ask me??" and I'll say "I DID AND YOU SAID NO!" and he says "Oh." It's fucking annoying.

But just accept they will never make sense. Have your own life and they love that but yes like you i want to be able to understand their behavior.

@ Mystified

I totally understand -- they are said to be so logical... yet sometimes the way my aqua acts seems to defy logic and totally confuses me.

Oh and trust me, I'm totally independent. I have a job and live alone in my own house. From his perspective... I don't even know if he thinks I'm interested in him in any more than a friend anymore.

Posted by iamsoconfused
@ Mystified

I totally understand -- they are said to be so logical... yet sometimes the way my aqua acts seems to defy logic and totally confuses me.

Oh and trust me, I'm totally independent. I have a job and live alone in my own house. From his perspective... I don't even know if he thinks I'm interested in him in any more than a friend anymore.

Like we don't understand them, they don't understand us.

The other day he was all woooooooooo hooo and then an hour later he was all serious and a friend asked him what was wrong and he was like nothing's wrong..and she was like cuase your acting all serious.

It's just weird.

@ Mystified

Maybe that's why we keep hanging on, because we are so intrigued? Lol. Sometimes I imagine dating a "normal" guy - one who doesn't ever keep me guessing or waiting and does everything that girls supposedly want. The thought really doesn't appeal to me... although I desperately wish it did.

@ Mystified

Maybe that's why we keep hanging on, because we are so intrigued? Lol. Sometimes I imagine dating a "normal" guy - one who doesn't ever keep me guessing or waiting and does everything that girls supposedly want. The thought really doesn't appeal to me... although I desperately wish it did.

bump :/

Who thinks I should ask him out? Lol

Posted by iamsoconfused
@ Mystified

Maybe that's why we keep hanging on, because we are so intrigued? Lol. Sometimes I imagine dating a "normal" guy - one who doesn't ever keep me guessing or waiting and does everything that girls supposedly want. The thought really doesn't appeal to me... although I desperately wish it did.

Well I did date a "normal" guy last fall but it fizzled out. I was relieved he wasn't so "spastic" in his actions and thinking but for whatever reason, there was a clear difference between how charming he WASNT compared to aqua.

Although aquas are social with everyone, its something about the way they interact with you ...it makes you feel more beautiful alive or wahtever u wanna think.

The guy I did last year was so normal LOL...i dont know how to describe it. He was a Libra I think.

You either don't trust him and your newfound insecurities are your intuition's way of not letting you get away with the fact that you subconsciously don't trust him

Or you were naturally insecure long before you met him. And yes, those insecurities will come out full swing whether he's giving you red flags OR cloud 9. Insecurities find ways to surface even when things are good. In fact, they especially come out when things are good b/c insecurities caused by past experiences make it easier for you to believe that someone finally treating you right is too good to be true.