Will my aqua men ever come back to me (cancer)?

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QueenVictoria22
@QueenVictoria22
11 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 13
I'm a cancer we were in a long distance relationship for about 4 months,I did see him in person for 2 weeks.The chemistry was amazing.Suprinsgly he was the first to say I love you,for an aqua he was very affectionate,clingy and emotional (he cried when he told me how much he loves me).He broke up with me about 3 weeks ago.Everything was perfect.then he started to act detached ,I asked him, what's wrong, why are you not acting like yourself? And he said "I just been feeling odd lately like I just want to be alone, when I was out hiking with my friends I just wanted to be alone. And I have a lot on my mind." Like what? I said. He said "one thing being our relationship." And I said what about it, I think were fine? And he said "is it working? Does i like it? I don't think its fine." And I said why? He said "I don't feel like you??re not here at all. Like I have to deal with this type of relationship for the next couple years, and I don't like that." And I said what,wait,are you breaking up with me? And he said "I'm asking if that's the best option for now?" And I said no its not! And he said "I think it is For Now." I told him how much effort I put into it and that I promised I would??ve leave him, that I could handle a long distance relationship, and he said "so have I trust me I??ve been trying but I don't think it's going anywhere.I'm here, your there. I get to see you a couple times a year and who knows, I might get sent somewhere else, so that would make it worse. Why pretend it's going to work when it can't." He said sorry and I told him that apologies mean nothing to me and he broke my heart. And that was the end he never texted back. The break up was cold &emotionless, I'm heart broken & upset. Anyways I deleted him off of Everything (social media) seeing him was painful. I understand that he needs space so I totally shut him out. 2 weeks later I texted him hi ,he texted back hi ,our responses were so short n awkward , he got kinda mad n jealous cuz I was out late drinking with a friend (his friend also).He just said goodnight & that was the end of that .The next day I texted him again hi and he said hi? And I said are you mad at me or something? And he just said what, huh? So I just completely stopped. The strange thing is he's still lingering on my sister's instagram, he likes all of her photos? My best friend has him on her Facebook and she said every time she tags me in her status/photo he will like it and then unlike it?
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
I think this is something you need to discuss with him. Talk to him about it & if he cares, he'll make an effort. If he says no, then no need to chase something who doesn't want you. So it's y'all relationship, so you two gotta ultimately deal with this. You know how you want to be treated. So go call him, & talk about it. Don't do the texting/FB crap ok.



I agree. In this day and age, UNLESS one of you lives in another country for god knows what (maybe a job, ect) don't do the texting.

OP, he sounds really wishy washy, and doesn't know what he wants out of life, much less a love relationship. I wouldn't waste much time with him unless he chases you and makes it possible.
you can't chase something that doesn't want you back. Plus, have you all planned out marriage in the future? He probably is afraid he won't be able to provide and care for you, and that's one of the worst fears of a man.
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QueenVictoria22
@QueenVictoria22
11 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 13
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
I think this is something you need to discuss with him. Talk to him about it & if he cares, he'll make an effort. If he says no, then no need to chase something who doesn't want you. So it's y'all relationship, so you two gotta ultimately deal with this. You know how you want to be treated. So go call him, & talk about it. Don't do the texting/FB crap ok.



I agree. In this day and age, UNLESS one of you lives in another country for god knows what (maybe a job, ect) don't do the texting.

OP, he sounds really wishy washy, and doesn't know what he wants out of life, much less a love relationship. I wouldn't waste much time with him unless he chases you and makes it possible.
you can't chase something that doesn't want you back. Plus, have you all planned out marriage in the future? He probably is afraid he won't be able to provide and care for you, and that's one of the worst fears of a man.
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ha i live in Texas he's in Nevada (he's in the military,orginally he's from texas).yeah,i think he doesnt know what he wants.He's not chasing me but i know he's still connected with my friends,and my friends say that he stills cares because he's trying to "keep tabs on me"?like cyber stalking me.We did talk about marriage but we both agreed we would wait on it.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by QueenVictoria22
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
I think this is something you need to discuss with him. Talk to him about it & if he cares, he'll make an effort. If he says no, then no need to chase something who doesn't want you. So it's y'all relationship, so you two gotta ultimately deal with this. You know how you want to be treated. So go call him, & talk about it. Don't do the texting/FB crap ok.


I agree. In this day and age, UNLESS one of you lives in another country for god knows what (maybe a job, ect) don't do the texting.
OP, he sounds really wishy washy, and doesn't know what he wants out of life, much less a love relationship. I wouldn't waste much time with him unless he chases you and makes it possible.
you can't chase something that doesn't want you back. Plus, have you all planned out marriage in the future? He probably is afraid he won't be able to provide and care for you, and that's one of the worst fears of a man.


ha i live in Texas he's in Nevada (he's in the military,orginally he's from texas).yeah,i think he doesnt know what he wants.He's not chasing me but i know he's still connected with my friends,and my friends say that he stills cares because he's trying to "keep tabs on me"?like cyber stalking me.We did talk about marriage but we both agreed we would wait on it.
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Probably waiting to see what's up with you and him in the future. Although i do find that weird. Most men i know, even aqua with cap moon, stellium aries already knew what he wanted. Maybe because he's in the military, he doesn't know if he'll be able to stay in long term, and the future is really rocky because you both are long distance. Military wives have it rough i'm betting. You would have to not see him often if you marry, or you move with him, but if he's stationed in Afghanistan or something..i dunno. I really don't know how that works.
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QueenVictoria22
@QueenVictoria22
11 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 13
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by QueenVictoria22
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
I think this is something you need to discuss with him. Talk to him about it & if he cares, he'll make an effort. If he says no, then no need to chase something who doesn't want you. So it's y'all relationship, so you two gotta ultimately deal with this. You know how you want to be treated. So go call him, & talk about it. Don't do the texting/FB crap ok.


I agree. In this day and age, UNLESS one of you lives in another country for god knows what (maybe a job, ect) don't do the texting.
OP, he sounds really wishy washy, and doesn't know what he wants out of life, much less a love relationship. I wouldn't waste much time with him unless he chases you and makes it possible.
you can't chase something that doesn't want you back. Plus, have you all planned out marriage in the future? He probably is afraid he won't be able to provide and care for you, and that's one of the worst fears of a man.


ha i live in Texas he's in Nevada (he's in the military,orginally he's from texas).yeah,i think he doesnt know what he wants.He's not chasing me but i know he's still connected with my friends,and my friends say that he stills cares because he's trying to "keep tabs on me"?like cyber stalking me.We did talk about marriage but we both agreed we would wait on it.


Probably waiting to see what's up with you and him in the future. Although i do find that weird. Most men i know, even aqua with cap moon, stellium aries already knew what he wanted. Maybe because he's in the military, he doesn't know if he'll be able to stay in long term, and the future is really rocky because you both are long distance. Military wives have it rough i'm betting. You would have to not see him often if you marry, or you move with him, but if he's stationed in Afghanistan or something..i dunno. I really don't know how that works.
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yeah,i made it clear that i would wait for him. Also his birthday is Jan.31,know any info on his rising planet?
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2BlackIndian3
@2BlackIndian3
11 Years1,000+ PostsCancer

Comments: 368 · Posts: 2669 · Topics: 7
Well you need to decide now with your heart, ask yourself is this the kinda relationship or man you want? You say he talks to your friends, but he can't find time to talk to you. That doesn't make sense at all. If he got time to talk to your friends, then surely (if he cared), he would try to contact you. I wouldn't wait around for someone like that. It's disrespectful to you. If he respected you, he wouldn't be talking to you & not your friends. So it's up to you ok
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
This is what I see: He tried the long distance relationship, he doesn't like it and has decided it's not for him. He's being honest with you, he likes you, but the long distance just isn't working for him and he's decided he doesn't want to do LDR. It has nothing to do with you, you haven't done anything wrong.

If it wasn't LDR, you'd still be togethe.

Appreciate his honesty. At least he's not ignoring you and cutting you out cold. It's just the circumstance. Maybe someday, things will be different, but meanwhile, it's not going to work.

I'm so sorry. The situation sucks big donkey d*cks.
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QueenVictoria22
@QueenVictoria22
11 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 13
Posted by truecap
This is what I see: He tried the long distance relationship, he doesn't like it and has decided it's not for him. He's being honest with you, he likes you, but the long distance just isn't working for him and he's decided he doesn't want to do LDR. It has nothing to do with you, you haven't done anything wrong.

If it wasn't LDR, you'd still be togethe.

Appreciate his honesty. At least he's not ignoring you and cutting you out cold. It's just the circumstance. Maybe someday, things will be different, but meanwhile, it's not going to work.

I'm so sorry. The situation sucks big donkey d*cks.


yeah you're right, I do appreciate his honesty.but the main thing that bothers me is he won't contact me and I tried contacting him ,but he either gives me a short response or doesn't reply back at all. I don't understand why he's not contacting me , I did nothing wrong. And yeah it does effing suck ;/
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by QueenVictoria22
Posted by truecap
This is what I see: He tried the long distance relationship, he doesn't like it and has decided it's not for him. He's being honest with you, he likes you, but the long distance just isn't working for him and he's decided he doesn't want to do LDR. It has nothing to do with you, you haven't done anything wrong.

If it wasn't LDR, you'd still be togethe.

Appreciate his honesty. At least he's not ignoring you and cutting you out cold. It's just the circumstance. Maybe someday, things will be different, but meanwhile, it's not going to work.

I'm so sorry. The situation sucks big donkey d*cks.


yeah you're right, I do appreciate his honesty.but the main thing that bothers me is he won't contact me and I tried contacting him ,but he either gives me a short response or doesn't reply back at all. I don't understand why he's not contacting me , I did nothing wrong. And yeah it does effing suck ;/
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Honestly, it sounds like a whole lotta FEAR. He's afraid to be a man and be a husband to you. The responsibility of it weighs him like a ton of bricks. FEAR alone if he doesn't face it, will bring him great sadness. Move on, like what everyone says, this one won't face his fears.
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QueenVictoria22
@QueenVictoria22
11 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 13
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by QueenVictoria22
Posted by truecap
This is what I see: He tried the long distance relationship, he doesn't like it and has decided it's not for him. He's being honest with you, he likes you, but the long distance just isn't working for him and he's decided he doesn't want to do LDR. It has nothing to do with you, you haven't done anything wrong.

If it wasn't LDR, you'd still be togethe.

Appreciate his honesty. At least he's not ignoring you and cutting you out cold. It's just the circumstance. Maybe someday, things will be different, but meanwhile, it's not going to work.

I'm so sorry. The situation sucks big donkey d*cks.


yeah you're right, I do appreciate his honesty.but the main thing that bothers me is he won't contact me and I tried contacting him ,but he either gives me a short response or doesn't reply back at all. I don't understand why he's not contacting me , I did nothing wrong. And yeah it does effing suck ;/



Honestly, it sounds like a whole lotta FEAR. He's afraid to be a man and be a husband to you. The responsibility of it weighs him like a ton of bricks. FEAR alone if he doesn't face it, will bring him great sadness. Move on, like what everyone says, this one won't face his fears.
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yeah :/ I'll move on , it's easier said than done , but I'm Trying ha.and I've read that aquas do that "disappearing act", maybe that's what he's doing, he'll come back when he wants to ...or maybe not all 😢
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
no, he's not disappearing at all. it's not a trait for this sign because loads of men disappear and they're born under every sign under the sun... plus you yourself said he was honest with you and left, told you straight up he don't want to be with you -- which is honestly cruel. Of course we're only hearing it from your side. But, from what you tell us, if he's not arranging marriage /nupitals with you in the future. Don't bother with him. You're just gonna keep banging your head back and forth while you could be with some other man who can give you what you desire. At least this way, your heart isn't dragged on for 20 years longer like some awful marriages who don't love eachother.
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by QueenVictoria22
Posted by truecap
This is what I see: He tried the long distance relationship, he doesn't like it and has decided it's not for him. He's being honest with you, he likes you, but the long distance just isn't working for him and he's decided he doesn't want to do LDR. It has nothing to do with you, you haven't done anything wrong.

If it wasn't LDR, you'd still be togethe.

Appreciate his honesty. At least he's not ignoring you and cutting you out cold. It's just the circumstance. Maybe someday, things will be different, but meanwhile, it's not going to work.

I'm so sorry. The situation sucks big donkey d*cks.


yeah you're right, I do appreciate his honesty.but the main thing that bothers me is he won't contact me and I tried contacting him ,but he either gives me a short response or doesn't reply back at all. I don't understand why he's not contacting me , I did nothing wrong. And yeah it does effing suck ;/
click to expand




Some people say it's easiest to cut the contact off cold. Helps you get over someone faster. I tend to agree.
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
For your own sake, and his, stop trying to contact him. You're only hurting yourself when he doesn't respond. Not trying to be cruel here or say it's a cancer thing, but I dated a cancer guy once. Told him it wasn't working and we couldn't see each other anymore. He wouldn't listen and kept trying to contact me. Wouldn't give up. Couldn't get rid of him. I ended up having to be really cold to get through to him and now I think negatively of him. Don't want that to happen to you.

Not saying you're doing that, but let him remember you with dignity so he'll always have fond memories instead of ewwww memories.

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QueenVictoria22
@QueenVictoria22
11 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 13
Posted by truecap
For your own sake, and his, stop trying to contact him. You're only hurting yourself when he doesn't respond. Not trying to be cruel here or say it's a cancer thing, but I dated a cancer guy once. Told him it wasn't working and we couldn't see each other anymore. He wouldn't listen and kept trying to contact me. Wouldn't give up. Couldn't get rid of him. I ended up having to be really cold to get through to him and now I think negatively of him. Don't want that to happen to you.

Not saying you're doing that, but let him remember you with dignity so he'll always have fond memories instead of ewwww memories.


I know I made two attempts to contact him, and nothing. yeah it does hurt and yeah i see no point in trying to contact him. I definitely cut off all forms of communication cell phone number and social media accounts. If he really wants to talk then he has my number, and knows who my best friend is, he'll make the effort if he wants to... till then I'm definitely not going to contact him
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by QueenVictoria22
Posted by truecap
For your own sake, and his, stop trying to contact him. You're only hurting yourself when he doesn't respond. Not trying to be cruel here or say it's a cancer thing, but I dated a cancer guy once. Told him it wasn't working and we couldn't see each other anymore. He wouldn't listen and kept trying to contact me. Wouldn't give up. Couldn't get rid of him. I ended up having to be really cold to get through to him and now I think negatively of him. Don't want that to happen to you.

Not saying you're doing that, but let him remember you with dignity so he'll always have fond memories instead of ewwww memories.


I know I made two attempts to contact him, and nothing. yeah it does hurt and yeah i see no point in trying to contact him. I definitely cut off all forms of communication cell phone number and social media accounts. If he really wants to talk then he has my number, and knows who my best friend is, he'll make the effort if he wants to... till then I'm definitely not going to contact him
click to expand




You didn't over do it. I just wanted to put that out there before you were tempted - like most of us women are. 🙂

Wish there were something I could do to make it better.
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QueenVictoria22
@QueenVictoria22
11 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 13
Posted by truecap
Posted by QueenVictoria22
Posted by truecap
For your own sake, and his, stop trying to contact him. You're only hurting yourself when he doesn't respond. Not trying to be cruel here or say it's a cancer thing, but I dated a cancer guy once. Told him it wasn't working and we couldn't see each other anymore. He wouldn't listen and kept trying to contact me. Wouldn't give up. Couldn't get rid of him. I ended up having to be really cold to get through to him and now I think negatively of him. Don't want that to happen to you.

Not saying you're doing that, but let him remember you with dignity so he'll always have fond memories instead of ewwww memories.


I know I made two attempts to contact him, and nothing. yeah it does hurt and yeah i see no point in trying to contact him. I definitely cut off all forms of communication cell phone number and social media accounts. If he really wants to talk then he has my number, and knows who my best friend is, he'll make the effort if he wants to... till then I'm definitely not going to contact him



You didn't over do it. I just wanted to put that out there before you were tempted - like most of us women are. 🙂

Wish there were something I could do to make it better.
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haha yeah thanks for putting it out there 🙂
I wish that too , but I guess I'll just have to go with the flow
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QueenVictoria22
@QueenVictoria22
11 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 13
UPDATE: He texted me last night asking how have I been. I told him i was doing good of course im not gonna tell him that I miss and love him and want him back.At first in was short and awkward responses then we finally striked a good conversation,we stayed up all night texting each other,talking about our interests and making fun of each other,jokes.He told me that he still has the panda that i left for him,which is suprising because he hates that thing (stuffed animal panda I gave to him to remember me by,my fav. animal).So now i'm just questioning our relationship,are we friends? or is there a chance of rekindling? Honestly, i want to be just friends for now,because i gave him my heart once and he unintentionally hurt me emotionally.i am hesistant to give him my heart a second time. If we remain friends i feel like we will fall for each other all over again and maybe he'll want me back?
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2BlackIndian3
@2BlackIndian3
11 Years1,000+ PostsCancer

Comments: 368 · Posts: 2669 · Topics: 7
Well this is a question you gotta answer for yourself. He hurt you before. So you can just let him back in with all the full benefits that come with being with you. I think you should let him work for a few weeks & see if his good behavior reminds the same. Then follow your heart on what to do next not your feelings. Your heart won't lie to you. If he is serious, his actions will prove that. His words can only mean so much. So go by his actions & you will know if something is up ok. Show him you got respect for yourself. Don't get soo attached just yet. Let him work for awhile ok. You are a smart Cancer, so be it 🙂
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
He thought he could handle a long distance relationship but over time he realized that he couldn't.

Some people are guilty of thinking they can handle something only to be thrown in the fire & realize that they couldn't handle it after all. Sometimes people go into situations with confidence that it'll work only to realize later that it can't/didn't. And to be fair, if a person doesn't feel that something is right, they're NOT wrong for doing what THEY feel is best for them.

It sucks for you b/c you got the short end of the stick, but technically human beings change their mind all the time.

He doesn't wanna be with you anymore.

It could be personal or impersonal. It could be boredom, lack of confidence in his ability to be monogamous, lack of a consistent connection with you, personal problems that he knows would affect his ability to give his all to you in the future, pressure from his peers/family to be with someone closer in distance, etc.

It could be that you were the only person thinking things were great, while he didn't feel the exact same passion & intensity that you did.

Here's what truly matters: He is emotionally unavailable. Him hurting you was unintentional, but nonetheless he still hurt you. His confidence in long distance relationships are low, either b/c he's rethinking how one from his past went sour OR b/c he really didn't get the fulfillment from his relationship with you like he/you originally thought he would.

Sometimes people experience a sense of disconnection that even they themselves can't explain

Being friends with him at this point is a dead end street for you. Why? Bc you still have too many unanswered questions. You still have feelings for him. You are in NO shape to be his platonic friend. You'll just accidentally turn yourself into a void filler for him whenever he decides to remember that you exist & care for him.

I get it. It's easier said than done when it comes to walking away, but keep in mind that over-analyzing won't be easy on your heart/nerves either. There are some things you may NEVER understand or figure out no matter how many questions you ask or how many scenarios you analyze. Just let him go. If he wanted to sustain a relationship with you, he wouldn't have broken it off. Chasing someone who doesn't wanna be caught anymore is a dead end street for almost everyone who's ever been in this exact situation.
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QueenVictoria22
@QueenVictoria22
11 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 13
Posted by krysrenee7
He thought he could handle a long distance relationship but over time he realized that he couldn't.


Some people are guilty of thinking they can handle something only to be thrown in the fire & realize that they couldn't handle it after all. Sometimes people go into situations with confidence that it'll work only to realize later that it can't/didn't. And to be fair, if a person doesn't feel that something is right, they're NOT wrong for doing what THEY feel is best for them.

It sucks for you b/c you got the short end of the stick, but technically human beings change their mind all the time.

He doesn't wanna be with you anymore.

It could be personal or impersonal. It could be boredom, lack of confidence in his ability to be monogamous, lack of a consistent connection with you, personal problems that he knows would affect his ability to give his all to you in the future, pressure from his peers/family to be with someone closer in distance, etc.

It could be that you were the only person thinking things were great, while he didn't feel the exact same passion & intensity that you did.

Here's what truly matters: He is emotionally unavailable. Him hurting you was unintentional, but nonetheless he still hurt you. His confidence in long distance relationships are low, either b/c he's rethinking how one from his past went sour OR b/c he really didn't get the fulfillment from his relationship with you like he/you originally thought he would.

Sometimes people experience a sense of disconnection that even they themselves can't explain

Being friends with him at this point is a dead end street for you. Why? Bc you still have too many unanswered questions. You still have feelings for him. You are in NO shape to be his platonic friend. You'll just accidentally turn yourself into a void filler for him whenever he decides to remember that you exist & care for him.

I get it. It's easier said than done when it comes to walking away, but keep in mind that over-analyzing won't be easy on your heart/nerves either. There are some things you may NEVER understand or figure out no matter how many questions you ask or how many scenarios you analyze. Just let him go. If he wanted to sustain a relationship with you, he wouldn't have broken it off. Chasing someone who doesn't wanna be caught anymore is a dead end street for almost everyone who's ever been
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QueenVictoria22
@QueenVictoria22
11 YearsCancer

Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 13
Posted by krysrenee7
He thought he could handle a long distance relationship but over time he realized that he couldn't.


Some people are guilty of thinking they can handle something only to be thrown in the fire & realize that they couldn't handle it after all. Sometimes people go into situations with confidence that it'll work only to realize later that it can't/didn't. And to be fair, if a person doesn't feel that something is right, they're NOT wrong for doing what THEY feel is best for them.

It sucks for you b/c you got the short end of the stick, but technically human beings change their mind all the time.

He doesn't wanna be with you anymore.

It could be personal or impersonal. It could be boredom, lack of confidence in his ability to be monogamous, lack of a consistent connection with you, personal problems that he knows would affect his ability to give his all to you in the future, pressure from his peers/family to be with someone closer in distance, etc.

It could be that you were the only person thinking things were great, while he didn't feel the exact same passion & intensity that you did.

Here's what truly matters: He is emotionally unavailable. Him hurting you was unintentional, but nonetheless he still hurt you. His confidence in long distance relationships are low, either b/c he's rethinking how one from his past went sour OR b/c he really didn't get the fulfillment from his relationship with you like he/you originally thought he would.

Sometimes people experience a sense of disconnection that even they themselves can't explain

Being friends with him at this point is a dead end street for you. Why? Bc you still have too many unanswered questions. You still have feelings for him. You are in NO shape to be his platonic friend. You'll just accidentally turn yourself into a void filler for him whenever he decides to remember that you exist & care for him.

I get it. It's easier said than done when it comes to walking away, but keep in mind that over-analyzing won't be easy on your heart/nerves either. There are some things you may NEVER understand or figure out no matter how many questions you ask or how many scenarios you analyze. Just let him go. If he wanted to sustain a relationship with you, he wouldn't have broken it off. Chasing someone who doesn't wanna be caught anymore is a dead end street for almost everyone who's ever been