I've been in 2 relationships both went for a year.....the second one ended really badly....when i read about aquarians it says were not good in relationships and It makes me feel angry....I'm not cold or detatched in a relationship im actually really loving...actually I think I'm clingy.....really clingy because to me thats how i think love is like and thats what im like with my lovers and the second they push me away and want space I take it personally...one of exs said Im fabulously vindictive.....I think I know what that means......when Im in a relationship I'm loving show amazing affection and im generous but when they do something wrong i dont tell them and I count every bad thing they do and when I do something wrong (which to me is impossible) we have a fight I bring everything up so they dont have shit on me and then to top it off i leave and stay at my friends house or go clubbing and this drives them crazy and then I'll be sadistic when they say theyre sorry I cant stand it.....I hate it when people apologise to me....because its like they pity me also I never belive theyre sorry until they know how i feel so actions speak louder than words so I leave and theyre left cold without love and all of a sudden theyre the clingy ones. I like that I think I like the feeling of being needed but its not like they need be to better themselves its more like the need of a drug ....the only time when i do want an apology its when I dont deserve one...and I manipulate one out of them...but a simple sorry wont do Im always like "and what are you sorry for"? and I kind of humiliate them......people say id be the perfect boyfriend and I used to be flattered but I know Ive been a dick.......dont get me wrong it takes two to tango like Ive driven my exs to the point of hitting me and I then I use that as ammunition against them and make them feel bad about themsemselves........ The first time they hit me I know i should leave but I falsely forgive them and I hate them secretly and play with them more until its ridiculous........I am so weird I hate myself in relationships and what I do to my boyfriends.....I think that im cursed and Im never going to understand true love or what it means to be in a meaningful relationship.......maybe this has nothing to do with me being an aquarian maybe Im just a dick...the question im asking: Is this what i means when when they say aquarians arent good in relationships?
