advice - Aries man

first time using a forum. im a gemini and have been dating my aries boyfriend for 3.5 years now. at the start it was rough, then alright, then rough again. we moved in together for 3 years it has been a rollercoaster ride of issues. 6 months ago roughly he hurt me very badly and let me down so much. i told him i had enough and we where over. he made me alot promises said alot of sorry's and i decided to stay because i really do love him so much. i only considered leaving him for my own self as im often blinded by him. anyways he moved out to take a new job we now only see each other every other weekend. i dont consider myself overly clingy but im now living alone and rather isolated. i ask him to call me and yet we can go a week or 2 without speaking and lately he isnt even texting me or facebook messaging me anymore. he was rather harsh and hurtful in our last messages to each other and so ive decided im not texting him, calling him or even letting him come see until he shows me he wants me. am i being harsh ? and is it normal to feel unwanted when he isnt bothering to communicate with me. im very confused what to do for us as a couple and for myself.

I think you are doing exactly what you need to be doing. Don't ever feel bad for looking out for #1.

Ok, you've basically described me in my relationship with a gem so I'm going to be completely honest with you.

He's probably a little bored with the relationship. I know you guys love to communicate a lot and sometimes, we don't feel like communicating. Give him a lot of space and give him time to miss you.

Maybe he's going through some personal issues and really doesn't want to drag you into it but also doesn't want to cut you off.

Basically, give him some space. It may be hard for you but just know it's probably going to save your relationship and bring the spark back. I personally do my best in a relationship when I get my space so when I return, i'm on fire.

sorry in my last post, I was under the impression you broke up, but I reread it. Ok like goober said, I think this is to prevent the situation from getting worse so he doesn't take anything out on you since he cares for you. Keeping communication will only worsen the issue. Space is a good thing, and it's very healthy. I understand you are lonely, but I think you two need time to heal. Space also gives clarity and perspective.Just focus on yourself and let it be; he will come to you. Never force an aries to do something they don't want to, that shit only pushes us farther away, and before you know it, we'll never come back.

how much space do i have to give ?
i only see him 48 hours bi MONTHLY which everyone already says is a joke even for an aries.
we dont talk on the phone much at all or message. should i just cut off all communication for months to make him happy ?
honestly im tired of it now, im lonely he is never there when i need him at home, personally or even just chats. maybe we should call it a day.
he lives half a country away from me and would go a week without seeing if im even alive. my friends are telling me i deserve far more and its hurtful for me to start seeing they may be right. i feel like a bad girlfriend and feel like ive given everything, taken alot from him and still im not good enough

Posted by Gooober
Ok, you've basically described me in my relationship with a gem so I'm going to be completely honest with you.

He's probably a little bored with the relationship. I know you guys love to communicate a lot and sometimes, we don't feel like communicating. Give him a lot of space and give him time to miss you.

Maybe he's going through some personal issues and really doesn't want to drag you into it but also doesn't want to cut you off.

Basically, give him some space. It may be hard for you but just know it's probably going to save your relationship and bring the spark back. I personally do my best in a relationship when I get my space so when I return, i'm on fire.

a year ago i caught him chatting his ex he used the words BORING when talking about me to her which was very very hurtful and has never left me since im very into everything active etc least boring person i know. so i calmly sat him down and told him to pack his stuff and leave that my mother would collect me and we would go our own ways. he told me he had no idea why her said that and he wants me to stay with him. he cut off talking to his ex after that and it was some more highs and lows until 6 months ago when i snapped and left him. he said he would change. said he is a better person now because i helped him see error of his ways. and has been alot nicer to me since. i just feel he only cops on when i walk and i dont want to have to threaten to leave the man i love to be heard.

Posted by gemwulf

Posted by Gooober
Ok, you've basically described me in my relationship with a gem so I'm going to be completely honest with you.

He's probably a little bored with the relationship. I know you guys love to communicate a lot and sometimes, we don't feel like communicating. Give him a lot of space and give him time to miss you.

Maybe he's going through some personal issues and really doesn't want to drag you into it but also doesn't want to cut you off.

Basically, give him some space. It may be hard for you but just know it's probably going to save your relationship and bring the spark back. I personally do my best in a relationship when I get my space so when I return, i'm on fire.

a year ago i caught him chatting his ex he used the words BORING when talking about me to her which was very very hurtful and has never left me since im very into everything active etc least boring person i know. so i calmly sat him down and told him to pack his stuff and leave that my mother would collect me and we would go our own ways. he told me he had no idea why her said that and he wants me to stay with him. he cut off talking to his ex after that and it was some more highs and lows until 6 months ago when i snapped and left him. he said he would change. said he is a better person now because i helped him see error of his ways. and has been alot nicer to me since. i just feel he only cops on when i walk and i dont want to have to threaten to leave the man i love to be heard.

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I'm sorry about that and I know how you feel. I'm sure he appreciates you and enjoys your company very much but just not all the time. This is especially if most of the time, you guys aren't trying anything new. That's another thing you can do, Initiate activity. We like surprises and things like that. You guys typically are really good at coming up with fun ideas so that's another way to put the spark back in your lives. Also, don't give in so much to him, be a challenge for him. If this happens again, and you decide to take a break or leave and he begs, don't give in. Ignore him. He's going to go crazy and start to miss you very much. That's what will have him wrapped around your finger. Show him you don't need him even if you feel l