Anyone's temper cost them their relationship?

My Gemini (Aries moon and rising) boyfriend who I have been with for 1.5yrs has recently developed a short fuse and we have been arguing, usually over missunderstandings or because he feels frustrated if feels not being listened to/advice taken/helpless etc. Even though he has a lot of stressing factors in his life right now, I am the one feeling the fire.

As a teenager (pisces/aries) I had a very short temper and would lose my cool sometimes. I would scream and feel very angry and want to break things. I have mellowed out now and havent lost my temper for a few years.

My boyfriend says he's never lost his temper like this before (screaming at me) and says its because hes passionate (about me). I do not accept that it cannot be controlled. Although he doesnt want to lose me and wants to do something about it.

I just want some advice about sticking with this relationship or not?

He usually shout and screams at me, hits himself in frustration (I know not healthy!) and then gets really upset.

I know a lot of people will say get out of the relationship but we are 99% the happiest lovey dovey couple.

If it was a friend or family member then one would try and help the person with a temper, and I kinda feel like I should attempt to help him improve it since I used to have temper tantrums like this when I was a teen. (Other than being lovey dovey with me hes not very good at expressing emotions and sharing his problems!)

Those with tempers, have you lost the one you love because of it? What happened?

If you say you're happy 99% of the time, why are you even asking if you should stick to the relationship or not?

The best thing about this would be for you to try and talk to him about this. And offer yourself as an example of someone who successfully managed to get past her anger spells. But don't do it when he's angry, because that would never work. Initiate the talk at a time when you two are in the Lovey-dovey stage. And try to be calm and reasoning about it. If he's not a douche, and if he loves you quite a bit, he should attempt to change his ways, if not immediately, then over time (especially since he's having some problems now)

Just be patient, and don't pressure yourself, or him, too much over this. One reason for his bouts of anger, could be specifically that he's feeling pressure on your side. And that makes him all the more helpless, because he sees it's affecting you too, even though he doesn't want that. So, instead of calming him down, it's actually making him even more upset and uncontrollable. So, don't take the anger personally. You yourself said he's pretty stressed, so as long as there's no harm done to you directly, i don't think there's reason to worry. The best way to deal with an angry person, is to keep calm about it, and don't try to fight back. (but not ignorant.. that's even worse than arguing with him). If the anger has no fuel, it will quickly die down.

Yes... I'm completely ashamed when I look back at how I lost my temper. I have also mellowed out a lot since my youth and now, I'm. One of the most chilled people you'll meet. Just don't fuck with me because that chilledness disappears and I become a stone cold bitch with a mean manipulative streak in order not to let anyone screw me over.