Hello, everyone! This is my first post here and just so happened to have one for a reason that I have been so bothered by a family friend's sex proposal.
He is my younger brother's friend, a walking-distance neighbor and so ended up to become a family friend. Our constant communication started when my younger sister happened to scandalize during my nephew's 8th birthday party (who happened to be our brother's son). He was able to witness everything so I had a hint that he might be able to have me see things on a male's perspective.
We exchanged messages until it came to a point when I straight-forwardly told him of how I so much understand what betrayal and forgiveness really means. You see, I am a sexual abuse survivor (molested by my first-degree cousin when I was yet ten). Then, exchanged each other's views...conflicting and non-conflicting views.
One day, he just left me a message asking me, "would you be willing to have sex with me...with no strings attached?" I sure was taken aback...jaw-dropped to the floor and from the moment on I do find it to breathe normally.
You see, Taurean in nature, that abuse has deeply wounded me and has helped me a lot to form who I wanted to be...a tough-affectionate me. I have to always stand on my ground and forever would I believe that if a guy loves me then he'd wait on our first night as a couple before he could have sex with me.
Moving on, well, knowing him for who he is; I really think I can change my NO to his proposal to a YES just that, so sad to say, because he clearly told me that we are not supposed to fall in love or to have a relationship after we have sex. This really hurt me A LOT...because, again, I already have feelings for him.
Now my question is, could he just wanted to have sex and dump me after or could he possibly just test me if I'd give in or he has a plan to settle down with me?
You have feelings for an ideal of who you made him to be in your mind. He just wants sex. People who don't have feelings for you relationship wise don't grow them after no strings attached sex. Focus needs to be on you and stop entertaining him if you want more.
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He is my younger brother's friend, a walking-distance neighbor and so ended up to become a family friend. Our constant communication started when my younger sister happened to scandalize during my nephew's 8th birthday party (who happened to be our brother's son). He was able to witness everything so I had a hint that he might be able to have me see things on a male's perspective.
We exchanged messages until it came to a point when I straight-forwardly told him of how I so much understand what betrayal and forgiveness really means. You see, I am a sexual abuse survivor (molested by my first-degree cousin when I was yet ten). Then, exchanged each other's views...conflicting and non-conflicting views.
One day, he just left me a message asking me, "would you be willing to have sex with me...with no strings attached?" I sure was taken aback...jaw-dropped to the floor and from the moment on I do find it to breathe normally.
You see, Taurean in nature, that abuse has deeply wounded me and has helped me a lot to form who I wanted to be...a tough-affectionate me. I have to always stand on my ground and forever would I believe that if a guy loves me then he'd wait on our first night as a couple before he could have sex with me.
Moving on, well, knowing him for who he is; I really think I can change my NO to his proposal to a YES just that, so sad to say, because he clearly told me that we are not supposed to fall in love or to have a relationship after we have sex. This really hurt me A LOT...because, again, I already have feelings for him.
Now my question is, could he just wanted to have sex and dump me after or could he possibly just test me if I'd give in or he has a plan to settle down with me?