Aries Man and Taurus Female need help!

I have been dating an aries man on and off for the past 5 years. We have had many ups and downs but for the most part we have been very strong. This year though it has been the toughest. I decided to move to california from chicago in order to get some change in my life and also bc my aries had moved to california a year prior due to family issues. But see I did a huge mistake and while we were in an exclusive long distant relationship I was also in a relationship with another in chicago. Which as all lies, came out to light once I arrived to my aries arms in california. We tried to move forward and work on establishing our new relationship and forgive and forget about the past mistakes. But as a Taurus I began to feel very insecure and a lack of love from the way that my aries acted towards me so then decided to not be exclusive any longer and began to be very promiscuous. Which obviously made out relationship going steeper downhill. Moving forward to now, we at one point called it quits due to lack of communication and a lot of distance on his part, which stemmed out from my actions. But as a taurus lack of love and security will make us go crazy and insane. We have somehow, 3 months later, reunited and so far for the past 2 months it has been great, so great to the point that we have decided to be exclusive. But all of a sudden my aries is now being distant and not returning my texts, will say he will call me at a certain time and not do so and so forth. I know he loves me but I feel that he is possibly rethinking and pushing back bc he is scared of me hurting him once again. Which I understand completely. So I have silently decided to allow him his space and simply wait for him to make the first move. Now it has only been 2 days since we last communicated and I know it might be another 2, but how long is too long and how can I reassure my man that I am here to stay and that I won't flake on him again when we speak next? Please help! I really want to make this work!

You need to say, 'well we had a great time together over the years, and I am ready if it stops now or if he decides to contact me again'.

You are at sticking point in your relationship life that most of us get at one time or another and you just need to take a breath and step back and not judge yourself. IF he makes a decision to not continue, that shouldn't stop your life. If you feel guilty about how you handled the relationship in the past, that is your issue and you can deal with that, but don't make his decision be some big judgement about you. You know what you want to change in your life and you are addressing that, by all means you can say that to him if you want, but regardless this might just be the relationship running its course.

If he decides to not continue then that is his decision and yes you might want to be with him still, but this is okay. Life happens.

If you want to "make it work" then all you can do is try to drive the point home that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work and stick to it. This way you can say you try and move on if it doesn't work out.

Relationships are learning situations. I wish I could keep all the keepers I found in my life, but I won't be worthy of any of this if I give up after a failed relationship, and definitely won't prosper if I don't see the lesson before me.

I think you still have a chance and are just anxious about the lack of contact. If anything I would think you would know more about the lack of contact from an Aries, given that we can flake out when we need to recenter ourselves. He might not be avoiding you but avoiding everyone in general. Give it some time, sorry to hear you feeling sad about all this, good luck.

Thank you for the help heroic_guy. This is the confusing part. The last day we spoke (2 days ago) we were having a great time, hung out 3 days in a row, and he even called me to share some happy news he received an hour after I left his home. Which I feel is a good thing. Now I had a show that night that he was adamant on attending and all of a sudden 30 min before the show starts he texts me that he can't make it because he is going to something else with friends. I didn't want to argue so I waited till the next day to mention it. He apologized and I know he sincerely acknowledges that he made a mistake. Now that's the night he said he would call me and never did. That is what I feel uneasy about. Why would he not call after saying he would after apologizing for ditching a very important show/event I was in?

I know he has a lot going on this weekend (he is moving to another apt) and I know he is distracted but at the same time I feel that I need to find a way to help him recognize on his own that him flaking on me in any way, whether plans, an expected phone call or just a simple text reply is only going to cause me to feel upset and back to my insecurities on his security status in the relationship. I'm just worried of becoming possessive and pushing him away. I know him well enough to know that his distractions might keep him from contacting me for up to 7 days but I also know that he is very aware that each day that passes causes me to worry. What do I say when he calls? Or better yet should I call after a week and how should I act towards the situation if indeed he was just being his aries distracted self?

(When we were doing well our communication was very compatible. We contacted each other enough to satisfy each other.)

I agree with you that communication is key. I fully understand that not calling back or flaking out, when an Aries does it, gets our partners really upset at us, and yes I know it sucks for the other person.

You mentioned he is busy this weekend with his move. I would say that is enough information to me to know he is way busy and that is why he might be too tired, exhausted, stressed, anxious or whatever to stop and call. I would gather he is trying to get this out of the way.

I think that he doesn't like feeling guilty about it at all too. Like, I think he is picking up a vibe from the situation that because he is busy and/or because he couldn't make it to the show that now he is made to feel bad because he hurt your feelings. That is a hard and bitter pill to swallow for some of us, that we have to feel a certain negative way because someone is disappointed in us etc. It just compounds the situation.

I don't know what to say about this much. I know how you feel but I don't want to be in that situation. Feeling like the other person is not meeting our expectations is a lousy feeling and it is just a fact of life that some relationship days are lousy and other days are better. And we get to decide if we have had enough of it or not.

I think in this modern day, we want people in our lives in name only, and that there is this unsettling hard work we have to do in relationships, the hard part is different for each of us. Being secure in ourselves while being in that relationship when things get jumbled up, is a hard one and yes we can weather some of these times, others we have to walk away from.

Right now it is about you counting and doing math in your head each day about how much he texted or called you that day, or week or month. Aries sadly do not consider this other person's math many times, and it seems hurtful to the other person. I freely admit doing this but it doesn't mean I don't care or like the person any less than if I called them 3 times a day. So this math you are doing is something that you are doing, it equals at the end that you are unsettled by how little he contacted you, and you can decide to break up with him for not contacting you or following through with plans, you can ignore the problem (which I applaud you for not doing), or do something else in the meantime and definitely tell him that you feel like you are boyfriend/girlfriend and that we should talk everyday or whatever you want. Maybe? Not sure mys