Aries Men - advice needed on how to move forwards

Okay - I've been searching these sites for a while, but this is the first time I've been brave enough to post - so please be gentle lol!

I'm a Leo girl (33), whos met an aries guy (39), and he completely blows me away! He's gorgeous, funny, smart, driven - I could go on - but you get the idea. I meet him on an online dating site (please don't judge me I work really long hours and all my friends are married, so it's hard to meet people the normal way), and he started emaling me. I went away on holiday, and he kept emailing me usually round about 10:30 at night and I would reply the next day when I could pick them up. This went on for about 2 weeks and he sent me his number daring me to text him, but I said I couldn't as it was really expensive to text from another country, but would when I got back. Now his emails were starting to get pretty raunchy and hot, but I tried really hard to play it cool and not let him take it too far (after reading some of these posts, I can see that with an aries guy, that's near impossible :-).

When I got back home I texted him and and about 7 hours later at 23:30 he texted me back. I replied the next morning as I was genuinely asleep and we exchanged texts for the next few hours and he suggested we meet that evening. I had no plans (didn't tell him that), so agreed to meet. We had the most amzing date, and lets just say things went farther on the first date than I have ever done before with any other guy (but not the whole way)! I sent him a quick text when I got home, just to say I had a good time, got one reply which I replied to, then nothing for 2 days.

So on sunday I sent him another text, I knew he had been out on saturday night as he had told me, and I was also away at a friends christening, just asking how he was, and we texted a bit. After that, again nothing for another 2 days, so I sent him a text just saying I hoped he was okay, and how were things going with his business. I got one reply about 4 hours later, which I repled to 2 hours later then nothing more from him. It's been three days and I haven't heard anything, I know he's really busy setting up his new business and travelling, so I don't want to bug him, but I also don't want to be a doormat. The problem is - how do I keep him interested, without being clingy, but keeping my own self respect - Please help!!!

I don't know what that means - i think in america you call it second (maybe third) base?

No, we didn't

Appearing whiny and clingy will be the deal killer. That is what you have to keep in mind.
Knowing that you are actually interested is a real winner. I plain hate not knowing where I stand.


I will also be quite aware if I "owe" you an email, or whatever. But, I simply may not have anything I think will be that interesting for you to know. I would be in absolute dread of boring you.
Basically, I am not keeping score about who texted who the most or the last. I don't want to mindlessly annoy you, though. And of course, the "space" deal is real for an Aries like me. I can be very cuddly, when the mood so strikes me. I can also be very occupied doing something totally different. I tend to get focused on one thing and let other things slide.


Yes, we can be very forgiving. I tend to forgive far to much for my own good, but that is who and what I am. So, don't be afraid to get in his face and lay down some rules. As I say, no whining, though. Be up front about what you are looking for. Do so without insulting him, or making him feel belittled, and you are on the right track.

Gee, it all sounds just so easy, doesn't it....

Posted by impresswho
All the Aries I know don't play the texting game (or phone games). The tug of war who calls first or last stuff doesn't even register in an Aries brain. If an Aries wants to talk they will, and if they don't then they won't. It's just that simple.

I don't think Aries like to chase. We like to show the person who has our interest that we care. Aries like to prove their worth. The men like to sweep the women off their feet. Just my two cents.

In this case I would go with Bluebetty. Let him do a little of the work, and you sit back and relax.

I thought I was the only one that doesn't do the whole texting thing. I will be nice and respond to the first 5 or so I get from someone I meet, then either tell them I don't keep up or I just don't even respond after that. I don't feel a connection with anyone over text, could be my generational thinking.

As far as the Aries guy not responding, I don't see how anyone can expect communication of any kind during a work week, maybe towards thursday night yes, but not Mon-Thurs. I think a man age 39 would be less wrapped up in the modern world of back and forth messaging even during a work week. I am old-school I guess and keep talking down to 1-2 conversations during the week unless we are dating hardcore and moving into a relationship. If we click 100% and are skipping steps then yeah it might get to be more and crazier but those things are always fleeting.

He is at work, you were at christening, you and him will see each other, he doesn't NOT like you and you have 5 work days to yourself and you can do whatever you want, talking to him seems like that won't happen during the work week that much.

Great insight impresswho, I feel a little better about my poor texting habits now haha.

Posted by dofacc
Appearing whiny and clingy will be the deal killer. That is what you have to keep in mind.
Knowing that you are actually interested is a real winner. I plain hate not knowing where I stand.


I will also be quite aware if I "owe" you an email, or whatever. But, I simply may not have anything I think will be that interesting for you to know. I would be in absolute dread of boring you.
Basically, I am not keeping score about who texted who the most or the last. I don't want to mindlessly annoy you, though. And of course, the "space" deal is real for an Aries like me. I can be very cuddly, when the mood so strikes me. I can also be very occupied doing something totally different. I tend to get focused on one thing and let other things slide.


Yes, we can be very forgiving. I tend to forgive far to much for my own good, but that is who and what I am. So, don't be afraid to get in his face and lay down some rules. As I say, no whining, though. Be up front about what you are looking for. Do so without insulting him, or making him feel belittled, and you are on the right track.

Gee, it all sounds just so easy, doesn't it....

Exactly!

to everyone who has taken the time to give me some excellent advice - Thank You! I guess what you're all saying is that I should just try to chill and not be so 'Leo' about the whole thing? I'm not normally like this, so I'll give you some background. I was going out with another Aries guy for about 8 months, up until a year ago when he just dissappeared! the three weeks before he vanished he got like this, quite distant, not communicating and i was initiating all the phone calls, texts, dates. I found out 2 months after he vanished that he had moved to spain. I was left completely devastated and heart broken as like a typical leo, when I fall, I fall hard.

I'm trying really hard to not judge this guy by anothers actions, but I'm just really afraid of getting hurt again. I guess it's making me a little crazy. He asked me to be friends on facebook, but he lives about 1hr & 1/2 away from me, so theres the added difficulty of not living in the same city. I want to call him, but the reason I was texting him, as he told me he was busy and I thought it would be less intrusive.

I don't want him to think I'm not interested, but I don't want to come across as clingy either - I feel like I'm walking a tightrope lol!

Update - I got a text from him today after nearly a week of no contact (I stayed strong and held off - even though it was really hard at times). Basically saying that he's working from home today and thinking about me. Now what should I reply? Should I even reply to him? Do you think he's just using me? I'd kind of moved on, thinking 'oh well I had a good date, it's all experience, he's just not into me' and now this! PLease you were so great with your advice before - what do you think I should do now?

umm, speaking for myself and the Rams I know, none of us could be bothered "using" anyone. Not into that shit. We love you or you don't exist, nothing halfway, no maybes. Try the Gem board or other flaky sign...pricks who like using us.

If you have moved on tell him. Or maybe tell him what you told us - that you thought he wasn't into you, that you like him or whatever.
He isn't a mind reader. TELL him how you feel.

We are always being told to back off, slow down, don't rush. So now we have a Ram not rushing in and still we are getting complaints!!!

Are you able to talk to him? Texting has its place for sure, but nothing replaces an actual chat.

IMO Sex is the motivator, when a man INSERT sex so early on and then proceeds to attempt to have sex so early on without getting to know you as a person "in real life" he's basically letting you know it's a physical connection on his part and not much more than that. If you are looking for a long term connection unfortunately the Ram is not it so telling him how you feel will most likely send him to the hills running away from you. I agree follow his lead and stay out of the bedroom if you want something "real" beyond sex.

Not withhold sex to punish or to get, developing an emotional bond with a man is equally as important as sex, sex will not carry a relationship very far.

I can add that I am kind of dating an Aries - and he truly baffles me, in that he is unlike anyone I have ever met. It was slow going at first. Emails here and there and chatting online..months before we graduated to talking on the phone. We spend HOURS talking, which I havent done since high school!

But do you know what I love so much about this whole process with him? From the moment he decided he was genuinely interested in me, he told me. Straight up. And that is refreshing.

Sometimes we talk almost everyday for a week, then two days may go by with no phone call - but I never have to wonder if he is disappearing on me (like w/ the Taurus and the Aqua).

My point is, just relax, give him his space to do his thing (if hes moving or whatever). If he digs you, he will come calling very soon. I would lay off the texts for now. You have a life, and even if you are consumed w/ thoughts of him, he doesnt have to know it. 😉 Good luck!

Posted by tiki33
IMO Sex is the motivator, when a man INSERT sex so early on and then proceeds to attempt to have sex so early on without getting to know you as a person "in real life" he's basically letting you know it's a physical connection on his part and not much more than that. If you are looking for a long term connection unfortunately the Ram is not it so telling him how you feel will most likely send him to the hills running away from you. I agree follow his lead and stay out of the bedroom if you want something "real" beyond sex.

^^^And what she said. The Aries and I never discuss sex. There is a crazy, stupid attraction and we both know its coming, if the relationship turns into a relationship, so he doesnt even go there w/ me when we talk. Again, refreshing. If a man ends a date by asking you to go home with him, you know his end game.