I was with an Aries man for almost a year, and we recently broke up for the final time in a series of very turbulent months between us. We had been close friends for a long time, and i helped him get out of an abusive marriage. After that, he plunged into his feelings for me and we lived a fantasy romance for a few months until real life intervened with its unpredictable BS; a lot of emotional and financial strain due to outside sources. I feel we needed each other in ways the other couldnt give emotionally at the time, and it eventually pushed us to have to step back to regain our self esteem and sanity. Or rather, I initiated that concept, then kept changing my mind until he finally said it is for the best, and couldnt handle the emotional rollercoaster I put him through. He is completely justified in his feelings, and I feel did make the right decison because i obviously wasnt ready to. We both have so much to figure out, so much to heal from. Through this break up, my life took more unexpected dark turns and he has been there as a really great friend to help me however he can. Its only been less than a month since, so our wounds are still fresh and i am not where near ready to get over him. I feel remaining in contact right now would be torturous to me, and unfair to him as my heart has ulterior motives because his ability to be a good friend has made me fall for him harder. But the last thing I want to do is hurt him more, and I feel i have already ruined his trust in me. I really do want him, but know now is not the time for me and I want him to be free to find his happiness.
This hurts so I just want to dissapear for a bit, and not burden him with my lifes drama anymore. But if he does try to stay in contact to check in in the name of being a good friend, would a temporary withdrawal make him not trust me even more? Would that make him put even more of a guard up after I have figured things out to protect hims and his pride? It seems inconsiderate without explaination after how hes helped me, but it also seems manipulative and dramatic to explain it to him.
What should I do to show despite my issues, I have his best interested at heart and do not intend to hurt him again? Whether this means in a relationship, or learning to be a beneficial friend in his life one day.
*Excuse the length, and thank you if you actually read all this psychobabble. Any insight, no matter how objective is greatly appreciated.
initiated that concept, then kept changing my mind until he finally said it is for the best, and couldnt handle the emotional rollercoaster I put him through.
Hmm.. He must be serious then..
See, if you love him, focus on your problems first. Or else you can even discuss and try to work out your problems with him, you know discussing problem with him, that is if he is willing .. Deal with the real issues first. The rest will follow.. I would say, if you disappear, it will seem dramatic too. Be normal...but focus on that which needs most attention. Best wishes!
Just let him know you need time, away from him, to process the breakup. Withdrawing without warning would bother most people. I'm sure he'll understand.
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We had been close friends for a long time, and i helped him get out of an abusive marriage. After that, he plunged into his feelings for me and we lived a fantasy romance for a few months until real life intervened with its unpredictable BS; a lot of emotional and financial strain due to outside sources. I feel we needed each other in ways the other couldnt give emotionally at the time, and it eventually pushed us to have to step back to regain our self esteem and sanity.
Or rather, I initiated that concept, then kept changing my mind until he finally said it is for the best, and couldnt handle the emotional rollercoaster I put him through.
He is completely justified in his feelings, and I feel did make the right decison because i obviously wasnt ready to. We both have so much to figure out, so much to heal from.
Through this break up, my life took more unexpected dark turns and he has been there as a really great friend to help me however he can. Its only been less than a month since, so our wounds are still fresh and i am not where near ready to get over him. I feel remaining in contact right now would be torturous to me, and unfair to him as my heart has ulterior motives because his ability to be a good friend has made me fall for him harder.
But the last thing I want to do is hurt him more, and I feel i have already ruined his trust in me.
I really do want him, but know now is not the time for me and I want him to be free to find his happiness.
This hurts so I just want to dissapear for a bit, and not burden him with my lifes drama anymore. But if he does try to stay in contact to check in in the name of being a good friend, would a temporary withdrawal make him not trust me even more? Would that make him put even more of a guard up after I have figured things out to protect hims and his pride?
It seems inconsiderate without explaination after how hes helped me, but it also seems manipulative and dramatic to explain it to him.
What should I do to show despite my issues, I have his best interested at heart and do not intend to hurt him again? Whether this means in a relationship, or learning to be a beneficial friend in his life one day.
*Excuse the length, and thank you if you actually read all this psychobabble. Any insight, no matter how objective is greatly appreciated.