Just Started

I've been dating an Aries guy for about two months now. We met during summer, during weight training class. He's a big guy. Big belly, strong arms. I didn't find him attractive at first. After a few months we started fooling around, no strings attached because I didn't want anything serious. Feelings just kept growing between us and we've been an official couple for about two months now. He does all these little things, tries to do them perfectly for me. We talk about things openly and honestly. We view things almost the same way too, but act completly different. He's more calm and serious, and I'm more childish and silly and restless. Even though he treats me great I still have second thoughts often. I never can say he's my actual type. He's confident and funny, but I'm not attracted to him enough. I wish he'd just take more effort in the way he apears. He knows all this. And I think he's trying. I don't want to change him much either. I confuse myself! I'm not overly worried about all this either. It's just a thought. Though I don't feel much of a spark either, and that one's not just a thought. I feel bored. Too settled. Like how people say once you get married all the effert just stops. But he knows all these feelings too and I think he's planning things.
I'm such a bitch! Here's a great guy doing nice things for me and I ask for more still. I feel like I'm only taking and not giving. He knows I can feel smothered so he puts efforts into holding back too. And he says he doesn't want to say or do anything that'll drive me away. He says that I'm too good to him. Am I giving back too? I want to give too. You give, you take. Sheesh, these relationship stuff is work! Why can't I just sit back and enjoy the ride?

(I am not an Aries, but still.... i am a child of an Aries+Sagi couple.)

Let me quote you:
"I never can say he's my actual type. He's confident and funny, but I'm not attracted to him enough."

Why are you with him? You wrote that he is trying to do things for you. From waht you wrote, it seems (sorry for sayint it bluntly) that you use this guy? Be with him, and you will leave him if you find a better one?

"I wish he'd just take more effort in the way he apears. He knows all this. And I think he's trying."

If you don't like something i'd say just say it in a very kind and simple way. And he he doesn't change the thing what bothers you, then it is your choice to accept that and stay. Or leave.

But when you are with someone, who you really don't like or respect, it means that you are settling for a second best. (Not a ranking of his personal value, but only a ranking according your value system.)
And if you are together with a man who you don't really like, or who you want to change, it teels a lot about you.

Do you respect yourself? And him?

Anyway, a relationship is a living thing. It is not like you get married and then that's all. If you really have passion for another person, maybe in the future you will realise it that you won't call it "working for a relationship", because you woN't see it as work, but keeping you and your beloved together will be fun, joy and sharing. Difficult times always aries, but when you feel after a 2 month relationship that you are like a 40 yo married couple, it's just not good.

You are the one who create your life, and making your decisions.

haha I'm glad I'm getting replys on this. I really do want to disguse my feelings, though I can't find the right words half the time.

I do respect him. And like him a ton. That's why I'm with him. Life just brought us together. And I was able to see his awesome brain! Yes, it's his brain I'm falling for lol 🙂 hehe ^_^ the way he thinks, looks at things, talks like a know-it-all sometimes, a smart ass... And he's funny too. Like I said, it's the apearance. Pony tail I don't mind. Though I want to cut it a bit so it wont have to be in a bun lol. I think of him as a panda bear. My big panda bear. He reminds me of Kangfu Panda lol I love that movie!

He knows all this. We talk openly. And he knows -how- I mean it. And he's not offended. And we're already planning to take swiming during the summer together. And other active things. I'm trying to get him to take dancing too, though he doesn't really want to lol he doesn't think he's a great dancer. And he's not so into it either. But lol I get him to do things. He knows I want to get in better shape myself too.

I feel like I'm using him sometimes. I don't like using people. I just don't like it. But he does things for me and I let him. He says he wants to make me happy. He never asks for much from me though and that's why I feel like I'm taking more than giving.

I'm confused about my being attracted to him. It's an on and off thing. He thinks I'm scared of relationships. I don't think I'm too scared. I used to be. When he's around I feel calm lol giggly and childish actually. Very silly.
Lately he's been thinking allot about how to make things more exciting in our relationship. Ever since I told him we're a boring couple. Like, how two people get married and just start letting go and settle. He's the type of guy who doesn't mind staying in and just... staying in. He's very aware that I'm not. That I am restless and careless and easily bored.

I think what felt like work was trying to tell him all these feelings without hurting him or offending him. I mean, how else do you tell someone "hey, I like you, but you're kind of boring me"? I like him so... I don't like having to say that.