My extreme dislike of the norm

I've recently realized just how much I dislike society and anything considered "normal." I don't dress up like a goth or anything, but I often find myself doing whatever is considered weird and even striving to be seen as weird; I also avoid popular trends like the plague. I've done this all my life. Not just to be seen as weird, but because I genuinely like those "strange" things other people don't like. I also suppose I like to feel different than other people; I used to want to be special, but now that isn't as important to me. I just don't like to be apart of the group.

I am horribly in groups of new people. I just went on a backpacking trip with 9 kids my age, and I didn't become friends with a single one of them. I guess I refused to participate in their fake bonding stuff... like none of them would have a real conversation with me or attempt to actually get to know me, they just wanted to figure out who was the funniest or most out-going. Like that can be discerned or that it even matters.

They also used me as their scapegoat, but that's happened to me everywhere I've gone my entire life. Every time I've moved schools, I end up the scapegoat everyone dislikes and blames for things going wrong. If I move or am forced to be with a group of new people, it takes me months to find friends. I've never been the most popular person in a large body of people, but I have several best friends who really seem to love me... and that's all the external validation I need.

The scapegoating stuff used to hurt when I was younger. I'm the youngest in my family, and my brothers and sisters are all sort of failures (druggies, accidental pregnancies, no one finished school... etc) but they've always bullied me, and that crossed over to a lot of bullying in elementary and middle school because I was an easy target. But now it doesn't matter to me.

Somehow it just left me disliking groups of people, and disliking individuals who display those "group-loving" characteristics. I don't feel like I judge these people.. I just don't want to be their friend because of the way they create relationships doesn't feel real to me. I don't feel better than them or anything... but I am questioning it a lot. I tried to talk to my mom about it (she's a psycologist) and she got stuck on me being wrong because I was judging them. But I think that's hypocritical because she is judging that I am judging, and she is judging that that is wrong in the first place, if that makes any

I'm happy with this outlook on the world and I suppose that's all that should matter. As long as a person strives to be happy, the won't have unhappiness to take out on others. But my instructors on the course disliked that I wouldn't conform with the group, and my mom is so actively against it too. My boyfriends says I dislike a lot of people which is "weird", but he just seems to find it funny. My other close friends think I waste energy judging society. They are older then me. I was questioning myself for the duration of the course, and even tried to be apart of the group sometimes, but I really hated that.I don't like that making a relationship with a person is like a game. It feels pressured all the time. And I am fine being by myself if I have to be, I'm not afraid of it. I've done it plenty of times before.

anyways.., I guess I'm just here trying to figure out if I'm a good person or not... but I refuse to follow societies guidelines to judge myself...

Is the way I feel about life and people okay? Does anyone feel the same?

relax Bri.

Bullies are weak insecure people who have to prop themselves up by stomping all over others.
Fake bonding stuff....this is such a wank!! Can't believe this still goes on!

Are you an early Aries by any chance??
You will find that if you have a few friends that are solid this beats the hell out of having 1143 'facebook friends'.
Keep it real. Quality beats quantity every time.

Don't worry about pressure. Fuck pressure.
Do your thing (whatever that is) and give it 100% everytime.

You don't have to like everybody. The world is full of some seriously fucked up people and unfortunately almost none of them are institutionalized so they walk among us. They are our bosses, our polititians, our co-workers and sometimes our families and if you are really unlucky, your bus driver right now.

Be true to you and be true to your friends.

Wow...Airybri...your post is amazing to me..I feel exactly the same way, I am much older than you, but have always felt this way. I always thought it was me. (April 7 birthday.)

People tell me all the time that I don't like anyone and they are right..it's more of a being choosy thing for me, but its also for the reasons you mentioned...I think most everyone comes off like a jerk...and I adore nice, friendly, people..no fake fruits for me. There is that "real" thing again..

Always hated the bars and clubs because it seemed so fake. Even everyone's conversations...but I like a small, neighborhood place where you can really talk and like you said have real conversations! (So I'm not a total social zero)

So yea...don't feel guilty...or feel like a weirdo...it's them...not you!
Just had to post because I could relate so strongly, and always thought "Is there something wrong with me"?
And the being by yourself...I do that too...it helps me focus and clear my head, it's not to be unsociable, it's the quiet space.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson

Are you an early Aries by any chance??
You will find that if you have a few friends that are solid this beats the hell out of having 1143 'facebook friends'.
Keep it real. Quality beats quantity every time.

I've always found the truest friends take the piss out of each other, can be cruel at times but aren't lil bitches about it and are there when it's really needed.
I think it's a bit different for guys but I thought I'd throw that out there. 🙂

click to expand

kinda like how I relentlessly take the piss out of you but you know I will always be there when you need a fence for your looted electronic goods or to have a pint with on Friday night?

is this the same with guys, dealing with other guys?