Pretty Serious

My aries and I (leo)have been dating for 3 months. Shaky in the beginning, but overall, pretty good. One day, I noticed some health changes on my body, and he gave me a "physical" to see what was up. He gave a diagnosis of a Sexually Transmitted Infection (one that I had never noticed or heard of). I did some further research, checked it out, and what I had was what he diagnosed. B/4 I got checked, I told him that I thought he was right about my condition and that I was going to the doctors. I haven't heard from him since. I'm really hurt and don't know what to do, or why he is responding this way. Maybe some of you can shed some light. Since I can't reach him, and he hasn't called, I e-mailed him to let him know the deal. He still has not responded.

BTW, I have been completely faithful in our relationship, and I have never noticed these symptoms until we started having sex.

truthseeker,

You do have a pretty serious issue before you. I can only imagine what it must be like to find out you have an STD. When I read your post, the first thing that popped into my brain was, how in the world would he know EXACTLY what your medical problem was. You said that he played doctor, so obviously that means that he is not one in reality. So, how did he know? For me, as soon as he said that, there would be flags waving, horns honking, lights flashing and my attitude would be completely different. Instead of feeling down or wondering what's wrong why he hasn't called - I'd be crucifying him! Ooops, you don't know me yet - not everyone crucifies. At the very least, I would be chewing his arse from one side of town to the other for not only giving me the STD - but doing so KNOWINGLY - he knew this truthseeker, he knew it. That's why he knew what you had and is now ignoring you. You are sitting here feeling bad and upset and he hasn't a care in the world. He is finding redemption in himself for you carry his guilt.

I'd be danmed if I'd sit back and worry about his feelings, girl. He screwed you royally and knows it and doesn't care. I'd tear him to shreds, but of course, not everyone responds the way I do - good thing, huh, or everyone would be murdered in the world. But, really, don't you take this the way you are. He's the one who screwed up and you are the one who is trying to coddle him by worrying about his feelings and why he isn't talking to you.

The only guilt you have to carry is your own.

The main issue at this point is what you need to do to have a good sexual quality to your life and not infect other people. This is a life changing experience and I know it must be very difficult to figure out what to do from here. But, the one thing you don't have to figure out is why he is ignoring you. You already know this. He's ignoring you because he's attempting to put his shame onto you and don't you let him. You can't see me sitting here, I know, but, I'm pointing my finger at you with the other hand on my hip and yelling: "Don't you carry his guilt, girl. Don't do it."

Just guessing but it seems like it's a he gave you an std and now doesn't want to face reality the of it.He'd have to admit being wrong by not telling you before hand basically,some people hate being wrong.I agree w/ P-angel as far as not allowing it to hurt yourself.Take your meds or whatever you got prescribed to do,and move on w/ your life worrying about him will only cause you more pain and suffering that you don't deserve and didn't ask for.

That's a rather sad story right there...

Once, when I was younger and naive (once)? LOL. My ex gave me venereal warts and I had no clue what or why they were there to begin with. My ex took me to the doctor (a family doctor and a friend) and he didn't really give me the specifics; nor details on why this was.... So he treated me with some meds. When we got to his Moms house.. he had a private talk with her and his Mom was "very" angry with him, because she knew why. Well, I'm smarter than that now.. so MEN.. WATCH OUT!!!! LOL. NO seriously...that Aries boy is guilty as sin!

Sorry for you troubles....

Hi Truthseeker....I too am so sorry to hear of your situation - sure doesn't seem fair does it? P-Angel shared some great info. with you - do NOT think about his feelings..they are not important - YOU are important Missy and you need to take care of yourself first and foremost.

My thoughts of healing are with you~

Freebird


Darn, if only he was listed under the transmittable disease section in the paper! Appears that he is out to "share" himself....heck, maybe he deserves a full page add!

Thanks, everyone, for your comments of support. Aries and I have talked since I last posted. He said that he didn't know he had this STD because there is no way of testing a man for the same infection if he shows no symptoms (which is true), and that if he had known, he would have said something. I told him that IF he didn't have it then, he has it now. When I asked why he didn't call me, he said he had been busy working. My response was that he didn't care enough to call, and then he lied and said he actually did try to call. In the meantime, he called me exactly 15 times on Friday, and on Saturday, waited until midnight for me to get off from work so that he could talk to me. I told him I needed time to take care of myself, and sort things out.

This is hard. I guess I really liked this guy, because I don't remember it being so hard (trying to get over someone). I want so bad to work things out w/ him, but the fact of the matter is that I don't trust him. He hasn't even apologized! Why does he show interest in me when I don't, and not when I need him to? I guess I'm still in fairy tale land, hoping that he will fight to no end to keep me in his life. What's weird is that he wants to work things out, too. He said that this doesn't change the way he feels about me. I guess I'm wondering if it's because he knew he had it, and now we can "live w/ it together." Or, Am I really just "that amazing of a person." Anyway, thanks again for all your help, guys! I am doing well.

Hello TruthSeeker.

Sorry to hear about your ordeal. If you want my honest opinion about this, then I say: if the trust is NOT there, then neither is the relationship. A relationship without trust will be difficult to maintain and the toll on your heart will be immence because you'll constantly second guess everything he says or does.

As for the STD, I agree with everyone here. Take care of YOU, hon.

I'm sure all of what has been said here are all things you've either thought about or heard before.... and there's a small voice in your head screaming-- "SOMETHING AIN'T RIGHT HERE"... listen to it! At the very least, see this incident as a HUGE red flag! Whether or not he wants this to work, is he really what you want?

You have to remember here, what you said above: you've been completely faithful in this relationship and didn't notice these symptoms until you started having sex with him.

The question is the one you asked yourself: Is he wanting to be with you now because he knows that you two both have this thing and can be together, living with it? Or, are you just that amazing of a person? Which one do you think it is?