Soo how do you deal with...

... your constant need for attention?

I am an Aries (04.04.) with some traces of Cancer (not sure what Lilith and Ascendant stand for) - so I get insulted and feel neglected fast when at my worst.

Of course I try to keep my mind busy, which should be easy due to me being a full-time student, having 2 jobs on the side (in both I am the team leader, so a bunch of responsibility and things to keep in mind), gym, organizing parties etc etc.

SHOULD, but its really NOT easy, especially when the exam phase is approaching or when I have a complex project to work on. I feel like the more my brain is occupied and the more intense it works - the more doubts I get about my partner or about myself in general.

So how do you guys deal with this (sometimes childish) desire for attention? I keep messing up interpersonal relationships because of that. I feel like due to me being super impatient I seem egoistic and as if I had no understanding for others.

Any insights?

Ugh I wish I had advice to offer. I have a Leo asc and cancer moon, I'm all hey! Notice me walking down this invisible red runway. Notice me, now! What? You love my hair? You should! What else? ::crickets:: I'm gonna go find someone else who wants to tell me how perfect I am!! skips away singing ....

No but really. I even texted my Scorp this morning that I missed him and wanted sex. He replied good morning but nothing abt sex. So I stripped and sent him 3 photos. Next thing I know I have a million texts from him at work. Ha! You will notice me darn it!! 🙂

I go through phases of attention needing but I really DO have to be the center of your heart and universe to be happy in a relationship. I do not like to feel threatened, competitive, or jealous. It is childish but it's also easy to fulfill. I don't want clingy I just want to know he cares and he is thinking of me in my absence.

Ugh!!! I have the same problem. If I'm not getting enough attention I go and find someone else that will. No matter how busy I am I still find time to think about things I wish I shouldn't be, that's why when someone says they, for example, got busy and couldn't call back or forgot to, I'm thinking "Ummmm I am way more busier than you are and I still can find time to call".
I find going to the gym for a hardcore workout sesh to work sometimes or I become immersed in my favorite TV show.

first of all i think you're so honest and brave to admit that you want attention lol it took me so long to admit it to myself lol growing up it was hard for me to even admit how badly i wanted attention cuz i was the oldest of my siblings (i have two younger brothers) so i was used to letting them get all the attention and just dealing with my own shiit by myself. being the oldest in a single parent home i felt like i couldn't make too much demands cuz it would appear selfish or whatnot and i felt like handling shiit on my own was the right thing to do at the time so i did.

when i go through long periods of not getting as much attention as i want, i get lonely but most of the time i don't really know what to do other than just suck it up lol i don't know how to ask for attention. but if i see someone who might give it to me, i start following them around like a stray dog lol
but when that's not an option, i just suck it up and go on with my life lol i try to remind myself that seeking attention/approval from others is weak and that i'm independant and can accomplish any challange i set my mind to and have a fully satisfying life as long as i don't take my eyes off my goals. oh and treat others with kindness lol if the need for attention/approval strikes, try to push those negative feelings away by focusing on treating others with kindness. try to focus on what's important in life.

sorry for the not so helpful advice but it's all i got for now haha

Posted by Aries04
... your constant need for attention?

So how do you guys deal with this (sometimes childish) desire for attention? I keep messing up interpersonal relationships because of that. I feel like due to me being super impatient I seem egoistic and as if I had no understanding for others.

Any insights?

Ok here goes, and this may not work for you:

Busy is not always best for us even though we think it is helping. Fellow Aries out there we need to CALM THE FOUK DOWN!!

Your emotional need for attention is a response to being stressed and overworked. You are only carving what you are not giving yourself in most cases and not what the other person is lacking. It makes it harder to see when it actually is the other people around you because you are focused too heavily on things you perceive as you not having.

You push too much and too far then you SNAP at people who have nothing to do with you overloading yourself in the first place. You need a to do list and it ends with minimum tasks a day to survive. The pressure will stop being as much and butterflies and rainbows will come back into your life.

Ask yourself why the sudden lack of patience. Sit alone and focus on your inner needs, write it out if need be, listen to yourself and grow instead of killing connections around you 😉

Posted by Ariess


No but really. I even texted my Scorp this morning that I missed him and wanted sex. He replied good morning but nothing abt sex. So I stripped and sent him 3 photos. Next thing I know I have a million texts from him at work. Ha! You will notice me darn it!! 🙂

I go through phases of attention needing but I really DO have to be the center of your heart and universe to be happy in a relationship. I do not like to feel threatened, competitive, or jealous. It is childish but it's also easy to fulfill. I don't want clingy I just want to know he cares and he is thinking of me in my absence.

LOL sexy pictures always work! But when the guy is done drooling and stops texting, again you sit there and wonder how he is able to EVER stop talking to you.

Were you always successful in dating guys that made you their all? I don't think this is fair or even realistic to stay that all the time. Only if the guy is a loser and has no life, but we damn sure don't want that! We want a strong and ambitious guy..

Posted by xoAriesxo
Ugh!!! I have the same problem. If I'm not getting enough attention I go and find someone else that will. No matter how busy I am I still find time to think about things I wish I shouldn't be, that's why when someone says they, for example, got busy and couldn't call back or forgot to, I'm thinking "Ummmm I am way more busier than you are and I still can find time to call".
I find going to the gym for a hardcore workout sesh to work sometimes or I become immersed in my favorite TV show.

Exactly!!

And then after we have that thought process of: "Umm hello? Even I made time and I'm way busier, than you could know!" we (or at least I) start feeling insulted and even stupid sometimes by making such an effort for someone, who is in our eyes not doing the same for us, which is DELUSIONAL. Lol okay not always, but most of the time. Smh

And this whole: "If you don't give me attention, someone else will!" sucks.. I always act out and show my bf that I have enough options if I wanted. But he is a type of guy, who does not get jealous and therefore steps it up - he finds this type of behavior unattractive. He wants to be reassured he is my one and only and I will remain loyal. I can't even blame him.

Posted by Jesse91


first of all i think you're so honest and brave to admit that you want attention lol it took me so long to admit it to myself lol growing up it was hard for me to even admit how badly i wanted attention cuz i was the oldest of my siblings (i have two younger brothers) so i was used to letting them get all the attention and just dealing with my own shiit by myself. being the oldest in a single parent home i felt like i couldn't make too much demands cuz it would appear selfish or whatnot and i felt like handling shiit on my own was the right thing to do at the time so i did.

when i go through long periods of not getting as much attention as i want, i get lonely but most of the time i don't really know what to do other than just suck it up lol i don't know how to ask for attention. but if i see someone who might give it to me, i start following them around like a stray dog lol
but when that's not an option, i just suck it up and go on with my life lol i try to remind myself that seeking attention/approval from others is weak and that i'm independant and can accomplish any challange i set my mind to and have a fully satisfying life as long as i don't take my eyes off my goals. oh and treat others with kindness lol if the need for attention/approval strikes, try to push those negative feelings away by focusing on treating others with kindness. try to focus on what's important in life.

sorry for the not so helpful advice but it's all i got for now haha

It took me 25 years to figure myself out and admit my flaws. We like to be right and are sometimes so dramatic about our lives that we forget to look within to see what REALLY happens. I always found it hard to take criticism, but with the years I got wiser I would say. So just give yourself some time and never stop improving : )

I completely understand - I guess its way harder to ask for attention as a guy. Most guys I know, who are like that, always try to impress people by their actions and get approval through that. Some of them are workaholics and no longer LIVE life. As a woman it's way more easy, especially when you are good looking. So honestly I could not even tell you what to do..

And to be kind to others is actually a great advice. That way you focus your energy on something else and feel good by doing good. I should try this, but knowing myself - I will lash out on the wron

Posted by Flavia



Busy is not always best for us even though we think it is helping. Fellow Aries out there we need to CALM THE FOUK DOWN!!

Your emotional need for attention is a response to being stressed and overworked. You are only carving what you are not giving yourself in most cases and not what the other person is lacking. It makes it harder to see when it actually is the other people around you because you are focused too heavily on things you perceive as you not having.

You push too much and too far then you SNAP at people who have nothing to do with you overloading yourself in the first place. You need a to do list and it ends with minimum tasks a day to survive. The pressure will stop being as much and butterflies and rainbows will come back into your life.

Ask yourself why the sudden lack of patience. Sit alone and focus on your inner needs, write it out if need be, listen to yourself and grow instead of killing connections around you 😉

This is definitely be true!! Thank you for this one, Flavia!

Like I already said, the busier I get - the crazier I get! There are times I lash out on everyone around me only because I am stressed for a test, or some unimportant ish. And when that stress is combined with, what is perceived by me as not enough attention - it's over with. Complete destruction of relationships ( laugh and cry at the same time).

I do however recall that when being on vacation or in a relaxed state of mind, these crazy thoughts get less and I am happy with myself as I am, without any confirmation from the outside world. But I am really happiest when I have attention from many people at the same time. This is when I'm truly happy :/ I looove saying to my girlfriends: "Omg, this dude is just stalking me! He needs to leave me alone! And this girl? Omg she just kisses my a**, she needs to back off!". It sounds really horrible, but it true and I need to admit it in order to be able to work against that. Because in all honesty? I HATE attention wh*res. And never in my life do I wanna be one.

So there we have it: a steady up and down, down and up. I feel like others can dictate my well-being only be either giving me attention or "ignoring" me. I need to find ways to be more stable.

Sooo you suggest relaxation, alone time and eventually meditation?

I wish I had the answers to this, but honestly the only attention I want is from one single person, and they aren't having any of it right now.
It sucks, but I guess since there's nothing I can, I sit here and hope and wish and pray and beg for them to hear me...

My Venus helps me with this - I am naturally other-minded. I am also the oldest of five... and the first born of my (family) generation.

Once you come into your full "ramness;" knowing who you are and all that jazz, your attention will change from inward to outward. You know yourself, check, done. Then, it's all about other people.

Quesion: "So how do you guys deal with this (sometimes childish) desire for attention?" I am a mother and wife and run this *shit. I was a mother at a young age on top of the above stated family status.

Having hobbies and accomplishments are a sure fired way to gain appropriate attention. I sing, dance, paint, draw, sculpt, etc. That's enough for me.

Responsibility shoulda tapped you - it taps me. I take on responsibility like a sponge and when I get a chance for things to happen without me, I am relieved. My energy is damned near boundless -

Perhaps you are not tapped out yet. When you reach your limit, you won't be so desirous of attention. I'm happy if I can take a piss in private. Or, not have someone interrupt my shower with a question.

Posted by Aries04

Sooo you suggest relaxation, alone time and eventually meditation?

Yes, anything that is far from work and school. Alone time could just make the other two fall into place.

Posted by Flavia

Posted by Aries04
... your constant need for attention?

So how do you guys deal with this (sometimes childish) desire for attention? I keep messing up interpersonal relationships because of that. I feel like due to me being super impatient I seem egoistic and as if I had no understanding for others.

Any insights?

Ok here goes, and this may not work for you:

Busy is not always best for us even though we think it is helping. Fellow Aries out there we need to CALM THE FOUK DOWN!!

Your emotional need for attention is a response to being stressed and overworked. You are only carving what you are not giving yourself in most cases and not what the other person is lacking. It makes it harder to see when it actually is the other people around you because you are focused too heavily on things you perceive as you not having.

You push too much and too far then you SNAP at people who have nothing to do with you overloading yourself in the first place. You need a to do list and it ends with minimum tasks a day to survive. The pressure will stop being as much and butterflies and rainbows will come back into your life.

Ask yourself why the sudden lack of patience. Sit alone and focus on your inner needs, write it out if need be, listen to yourself and grow instead of killing connections around you 😉

click to expand

^^ NAILED IT!!! +1