What do you do when you're at your breaking point?

Because I'm seriously losing it in regard to my brother. I have to continuously restrain myself from physically assaulting him at times. His behavior would drive anyone batshit crazy.

I seriously cannot take it anymore. Having the notorious Aries temper is just making it even harder for me to get away from constantly feeling aggravated by his bullshit. I feel that being around someone like him is almost like psychological abuse. Ugh.

He's a 25 year old Sag going on 12. He suffers from Peter Pan syndrome like whoa. Recently, he's turned into a sexist asshole, talking about hitting women and using derogatory names which I blame on online gaming and having a really passive, stupid girlfriend.

Unfortunately, we're living at home atm. My mom has had some health issues so we're basically in survival mode atm financially. :/

This entire situation has shown his true colors and it disgusts me since we were raised to know better. If my mom wasn't such a pushover, I would have kicked him out ages ago. Locks changed and everything. If my dad was alive, he would have done it already, too.

I'm not even sure what to do at this point to preserve my sanity. Maybe starting off with taking a bat to his computer, since it's the source of 99.9% of all the time he wastes and is why he neglects my mom when his help is needed...

Posted by bubblyaquarius
What is his sign? How old is he? Why are you even around him all the time? Ahhh more details!

And everyone has been there, at a breaking point. =/

My sister has been driving me crazy lately. Causing so much fmaily drama, totally turned on me. You could call her a failure. -_-

Is your sister younger?

Rocky do you give his negative behavior attention?

Posted by bubblyaquarius


All the Peter Pan stuff and sexist stuff sounds realls Gemini. ick. What is his chart like?

Single moms always seem to have problems with putting their foot down with male children. I've seen it in multiple homes and it disgusts me. The result is always what you just said. Sexist pigs who act like 12 year olds and are no help in the home. They will make terrible fathers and husbands.
I don't understand what is wrong with single moms. I hope that if I'm a single mum I'm never like many that I meet. I feel bad for them, because it seems common and I don't know what these mothers are going through, so it is apparent to me that it's not abnormal to be a passive single mom. I'm not sure what their thinking pattern or excuse is for raising such retards. Hmm,
but your brother is old enough to change for his own good. He has to see how in the wrong he is. So is he pretty much a Narcissist?

Well, if you can't kick him out, I suggest you work at moving out. He would look like such a loser if you moved out before him. It would be fun to do that to him. Humiliate him. Especially since he's so sexist.

Ick since he spends all his time doing gaming I'll bet he watched tons of porn too...No wonder.

I think with single mothers who facilitate this behavior it is more trying to be too apologetic for dad not being there than it is trying to be a parent in some situations. In others the guy just chooses to be that way no matter what, guys like him come out of two parent homes as well.

With your brother who is 25 he made need that dose of reality to appreciate you and your mom. You moving out could start that, though the complications of you doing so are understandable, your sanity supersedes you being there for his crap.

^^^^^^^this is true.

I just feel like Rocky is caretaker for her mother and brother but probably forgot about herself. Rocky just do the best that you can and if you need to break down do so because sometimes people need to see that you just can't take anymore. Let it go and do the best that you can.

Posted by bubblyaquarius

That's cold...

I guess he didn't see the part where I said that my brother has a girlfriend. Reading fail.

Posted by Flavia

I think with single mothers who facilitate this behavior it is more trying to be too apologetic for dad not being there than it is trying to be a parent in some situations. In others the guy just chooses to be that way no matter what, guys like him come out of two parent homes as well.

I think it's less single mom, more Libra mom and Sag douche taking advantage of her, which he has done this entire time. It sickens the fuck out of me. It's like, your mom has cancer and you're going to use her car the entire time because you can't get your shit together and fix yours? Oh, she's in the hospital and you can't be assed to go visit her? She needs you to help around the house and keep things clean and all you do is sit on your computer after work and do shit when you feel like it? Oh, okay.

Posted by bubblyaquarius

I completely agree. Mum should either kick him out or you should just choose to go. And perhaps if you leave first mum wil realize its apprporiate for her male child to go. Your emotional health is more important.

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I'm still here because I can't afford to get out. Especially now since we're having to help pay her bills since she's jobless due to all of this. Rock and hard place. I'm also currently in the lovely stage post grad where finding a job = ghfajdghakj.

Also, as a double whammy, my mom's had memory issues so she actually forgets a lot of the bullshit he does and I have to constantly remind her that coddling him is not good and he totally takes advantage of her whether she realizes it or not.

Posted by Love366

I just feel like Rocky is caretaker for her mother and brother but probably forgot about herself. Rocky just do the best that you can and if you need to break down do so because sometimes people need to see that you just can't take anymore. Let it go and do the best that you can.

This is where my frustration stems. I've had to put a lot of my stuff on hold because I'm taking care of her and he's NO help. He makes more than I do, yet bitches when I ask him to help out on bills. At this point I have to save up if I want to go out and do anything with friends. He spends money on himself and his girlfriend without hesitating, finds time to do everything else but what we need him to do and can't take time out of his day to help when it's needed. I have no idea how I juggled full time school, part time work, all her appointments and taking care of her during my senior year in college. Meanwhile all he had was his full time job and bitched about how tired he was and wouldn't help. That's basically where all my frustration stems. This sexist bullshit is new.

Posted by DG
My son is a Sag and he can be a very self centered young ma,(21) they are not Known for their generousity. My son works hard and has his own money. But its all about his goals...in his head I'm the mother and should be able to fend for myself.

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Haha, you get it then. It's like talking to a goddamned wall. I'm convinced something is wrong with his head at times. We have had the same discussions, civil and not, over and over for the last 2 years about everything he needs to do. He does minimal work and expects a goddamned parade. When he's called out on his shit, he throws temper tantrums and has put holes in the walls of HER house. So not only is he doing all this other shit, he's fucking her house up too.

If we didn't need him so involved in the situation, I wouldn't give a rat's ass, really. I've been told over and over that I shouldn't worry about it, but I have to because we need him financially and need his help around here.


Anyway the whole point of this thread was to get ideas how to keep my sanity intact without beating the living shit out of him when he pisses me off. Having him around is absolute mental abuse, I swear. :/

Wait, your mom is sick with cancer and he's acting like this? I'm speechless. You should donate that computer of his to charity. Does he help pay any bills in the house? Does he not realize that the time he has with his mother is really precious?? How is her condition?

Yes, he helps pay bills, hence him helping financially. Generally, he's been okay, but there have been a few sticky situations where I questioned his priorities. He can manage to go spendcrazy on he and his girlfriend, but the second it's time to collect for bills...

But I agree and it's why I was so wtf about the entire thing. It's like omg your mom is sick and you're acting like this? What a fucking douche.

And she's good, thanks for asking. 🙂

She was officially tumor free in April. Now it's all just post chemo recovery stuff.

why dont u verbally put him down in his place or beat the crap out of him, or put him down emotionally for example, "our mother is sick, i am trying to all my best to do this and this and that, and you sick fuck are putting me down?! HOW DARE YOU? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!" and then start crying and go back to doing whatever youre doing, if youre holding food throw it at him if not then just walk away and do whatever u were doing and dont talk to him for as long as u can it will make him extremely guilty

Believe me, I've tried everything in the book at this point. I can be the biggest bitch or nice about it and neither method works.

Hence, "what do you do at your breaking point?"

Which only one person has really addressed. :/ (btw, thanks love366)

Seriously. It's been a pain in the ass waiting point. I only stayed at home because it's too expensive to move out. So I stayed put and worked on school, and grinned my teeth and beared it. OH BUT HAY, THIS CAME UP MY SENIOR YEAR OF COLLEGE. :/

I'm trying my best to be patient. My jerkface brother isn't helping any.

I should take on darts as a hobby... or archery.

gritted*

MY BRAIN IS MELTING.

ive done 4 hours of archery after which my skills were almost perfected with having no previous knowledge of shooting, then i found out that those light arrows could penetrate a human or an animal through like a bullet o.o that was like whoaaa i thought it was just a toy

I'm glad your mother is recovering well. That's the most important thing. 🙂 For now I would just try my best to maintain positive energy in the house so both you and your mum can heal 🙂. You need to rest and regain some peace and calm as much as your mum does. You've been taking care of everybody. Resist the temptation to strangle your brother. I know it's hard lol

Posted by DG
You are kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place....Pinot Grigio always seems to work for me.

Only kidding....🙂

I prefer Muscats and other dessert wines, but I get the idea. :p

Posted by DG
Haha, you get it then. It's like talking to a goddamned wall. I'm convinced something is wrong with his head at times. We have had the same discussions, civil and not, over and over for the last 2 years about everything he needs to do. He does minimal work and expects a goddamned parade. When he's called out on his shit, he throws temper tantrums and has put holes in the walls of HER house. So not only is he doing all this other shit, he's fucking her house up too.

OMG...is this a Saggy man thing...my son has done the same fucking thing....he put a hole in one of the doors. They have short fuses. Yes, he will spend two hundred dollars on a pair of sneakers and ask me to pay for his parking tickets, telling me he's broke (liar). Funny my son makes sure he lets everyone know how much he does around the house too....I'm like, well you live here too...

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Haha, my mom says the same thing to him. He bitches when we hit him up for money because it's like hey, bills are due? She's like wtf does he think? If he were out on his own, his bills would be much higher. He's really paying next to nothing compared to rent.

I don't think it helps that he has water moon and rising signs.

Does yours freak out when you call him out on his shit? My brother gets SO enraged and an attitude of "HOW DARE YOU!!" He never stops to think about why he's getting called out or put in his place for. He just sees "omg they're mad at me, how dare they??" It's like omg maybe if you stopped and thought about WHAT it was that you were doing, maybe if you stopped, you wouldn't get yelled at?? Gah.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
She was officially tumor free in April. Now it's all just post chemo recovery stuff.

This is great! 🙂

Posted by bubblyaquarius
I know this leo who always says How Dare You?! They sound so guilty and cheesy when they say that. It sounds like a movie line. I'm like, wow. Make it obvious. 😆 I know jerks in general, putting stars aside, who react like drama kings, or ignore you, either way, continue to be jerks. Or they go back and forth, one day its dramatics, the next silent treatment. Nothing can get through their thick skulls.

He doesn't say it, just acts like it. Gets all up in arms and throws a tantrum. He hates being told he's fucking up.

Posted by Love366

Posted by rockyroadicecream
She was officially tumor free in April. Now it's all just post chemo recovery stuff.

This is great! 🙂

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Thanks. 🙂 She has her first appt. since post op, so we'll see how everything looks.