Word Vomit/Emotional Rampage

Had a bad case of word vomit/emotional rampage yesterday. I was/am so utterly embarrassed so I slept all of yesterday to try to delete it from my memory.

I was in a pissed off mood because I got in a fight with my sensitive Pisces father the night before. The next morning I was trying to avoid going home (yes I live at home while I'm in grad school to save money) so I spent hours in the gym and driving around town. I called my Aquarius friend to go to lunch. I got caught up with e-mails when I met up with him so I told him to hold on a sec because they were very important. (I can't type and talk at the same time lol) So we end up at this place I didn't want to go to. He didn't ask for my opinion on where I wanted to eat. He was pissed bc I was rudely on my phone the entire time and wasn't saying a word to him (totally understandable) My crazy ass ended up yelling at him. We got in a huge fight my blood was boiling, I said some effed up things yada yada. I was like "TAKE ME BACK TO MY CAR! (insert curse words)"

Got in my car (blood still boiling), called my Cancer guy that I've been dating on and off. Things have been better w/us but since he didn't answer his phone, I went crazy on him too. I didn't cuss at him via text or anything but I did call like 4 times in a row ( I know I feel so stupid. I've never done that to him before). He said he was in the city and can't answer his phone. I said "I thought you were "tired" and "broke but you're in the city?!?!?!?". And he responded with "This is RIDICULOUS I am helping my friend move. YOU ARE NOT MY MOM. I don't need to tell you everything I'm doing with MY LIFE." I was about to say some really messed up stuff like "Well how about you pay me back what you owe me and then lose my number since I'm not of importance to you" or something stupid like that but I didn't. I responded, "I never asked what you were doing. I just wanted to talk to you." and then I apologized, admitted how ridic I was, and explained my Daddy issues and how I needed someone to talk to because I feel so alone. All my friends are on vacation so I can't talk to them. He never responded.

When you act like a psycho person toward a Cancer will that make him change the way he feels about me? Will he think I'm a psycho chick? I've never acted like this or drunk dialed/text him before.(it's been 5 months since we've been talking/dating) I really hope I didn't mess things up for good. I feel like such a fool. I should've never called him

To add on,

I called my Aquarius friend to apologize last night he didn't answer so I text him an apology. He called me back today and he also apologized too and said he was partly at fault. So all is good with him.....

Hopefully the Cancer love interest will be understanding as well........ UGHHH

Being an Aries female + PMS= Hormonal bitch. SO embarrassing!

LOL good to know I'm not alone. Luckily my parents went out on a one night mini getaway so I was home alone. After my 4 hour nap, I cried for the rest of the night until I finally fell asleep again. I would think about the most random things and start crying. I felt so alone and empty. I went to the grocery store to buy some chocolate to make me feel better. Got caught up with all my shows on my DVR. Some episodes were sad so I cried yet again. LOL What a hot mess!

I am fine today. I woke up as chipper as ever but just feel that sense of embarrassment whenever I think about it. When I told my siblings what I had done, they thought it was the funniest thing ever.


I just feel bad that I messed things up with Cancer man. I'm afraid I freaked him out.