Childhood Scorp friend gone criminal?

Hi guys
I work in a law firm as a legal assistant and recently came across a name of a childhood male friend in our office (he has a unique last name so I knew it was him) who I had a crush on. I havent seen him since we were preteens. I was 12 and he was 13 and my family moved to a different side of town so we lost touch. I didnt think I would connect with him this way, but I called him up and explained who I was and where I worked.
He congratulated me on my success and then we talked a bit about his charges...he has domestic abuse, criminal mischief and interfering with the reporting of a crime all against him. I am shocked and I want to keep in touch and maybe get together but I am wondering if I should move forward or just let it go?
I mean we really dont know each other because it's been 11 years... But I do care for him and his family.
I am a cancer female with moon in aries, capricorn rising, venus in cancer
He is scorpio male with scorpio venus...I dont know the time of his birth, so I dont know his rising sign...

Well friends for now...

Yeah...I mean you have a very valid point. I wouldn't want anything besides friendship with him. I have high standards when it comes to men because I have thise same high standards for myself. I think I just want to help him...

Why is that elle? He was on our call list...he is a client of my boss so calling him was not inappropriate and As I mentioned, I knew it was him by his last name so I asked him if he remembered me...

And your reply had nothing to do with the original post so... Why waste your time—?

Elle's comment is based on how an employer would look at it... Your offense to her comment and own summary shows how much you have thought about reconnecting with this man. You really have to look at the whole picture not just your old skool crush but now your future with your job and also his track record. Would it be worth the road you travel? Don't kid yourself that you only want to help him, it's clear it runs deeper than that. Be honest with yourself it won't be plain sailing!

Posted by abritta3
we talked a bit about his charges...he has domestic abuse, criminal mischief and interfering with the reporting of a crime all against him. I am shocked and I want to keep in touch and maybe get together

It's rare that the implied facepalm is used but this is a good time for it...

Sounds like a great guy to me, go for it!

What answer were you expecting, I mean really...

Oh my God LS, what's got into you lately?? You been hanging with KOL too much!

Yeah sweethearts I noticed, wtf Sid is usually so sweet. Not that I disagree, but usually he has a nicer tone lol.

DV? GTFO. No freaking WAY I'd touch that with a 10 foot pole. Hell if he was cute when you were 13, he probably ISNT now anyway. And it sounds like his personality is NOT crushworthy.

I am sweet and if someone asks a question I'll give an honest answer and will try to help. This thread... just, really?

She says she runs into this guy after 13 years cause he's being brought up on charges for domestic abuse and asks if she should pursue a relationship... if she can't see the obvious warning signs, explaining it won't help. I would love to hear someone say it's okay to pursue something with him, that logic would fascinate me.

btw I'm drunk and have a low tolerance for stupidity... 😄

The other recent 'mean' or 'snarky' answers have been to femmescorp and aquagirl24... I have been nice to them up til now but they even plucked my nerves.

Yes I got that looking around the Lib thread...my my, amazing what a little moonshine does for dutch courage 😉

Good for you being able to sit back and relax a little, do us a favour and hold that tongue should I make an ass out of myself 🙂

We all will come across names and even people from our teens. If you are conflicted about knowing what you should do, but haven't even met in person for a good reason, then it falls in the category of, "oh yeah I remember him." and that is it.

I used to have crushes on so many girls from highschool that I could spend my life tracking them all down for dates now that we all are on facebook, but I don't know them at all anymore. I am for the long chances in life, but if I feel strongly then I go for things, if I waver, then I let the waver be a sign that says not to act on it, at least not immediately.

Anyway, good luck to you.

Hey, she's human and like most girls the "bad boy" is always attractive...for some reason there's a I can change him factor in it. Most girls fall into this, like the girl that falls for her gay friend thinking that she can change him, he just hasn't tried the right girl yet...

It's appealing, it's dangerous and forbidden so therefore it's exciting...

Look around the threads, the guys getting the most girls swooning after them are the ones that talk to you like crap or present the "bad boy" image...

abritta3, you're going to do it anyway, aren't you? Please just go out to the street right now and pick out any random dude to date instead. It's a better bet. You'll know the stranger just as well as someone you knew when you were 12 (i.e. not at all) and odds are good that the random stranger DIDN'T assault his family. There are approximately 3 billion males on the planet. You don't have to date a criminal just because you had a childhood crush. You're a grown-up now.

I don't want a relationship with him lol I never said that... when I was asked about friend or otherwise I said friend "for now" because friendship is what I want now.

Obviously there is no attraction to him other than the idea of possibly being a friend to him like we were as adolescents because I clearly DON'T know him now.

And my job as a legal assistant is to call people on our call list so nothing I did here was "unprofessional" lol...I even told my boss how that phone called turned out. We live in a small city...shit like this happens.

And the reason I even posted this on here was to see if I was being irrational by even trying to pursue a friendship with him because I know it's risky. I work in a criminal law firm so I deal with people like this all the time...it is just disappointing that this particular case is about someone I grew up and used to know very well.

Posted by abritta3
I don't want a relationship with him lol I never said that... when I was asked about friend or otherwise I said friend "for now" because friendship is what I want now.

Obviously there is no attraction to him other than the idea of possibly being a friend to him like we were as adolescents because I clearly DON'T know him now.

And my job as a legal assistant is to call people on our call list so nothing I did here was "unprofessional" lol...I even told my boss how that phone called turned out. We live in a small city...shit like this happens.

Of course you're thinking about more than friends. Do you consider going out for coffee with every guy accused of domestic violence? You had a crush on this guy back in the day and you saw his name and got butterflies in your belly all over again. I get it. But that's when your brain has to kick in and say "Hey, nothing ever happened back then, maybe there's a good reason for that". If you had "won" your crush back in school maybe you'd be on the other end of his criminal charges right now. Instead yours said, "OoooOOoOoOo it's HIM!"

Maybe I was mean last night but damn it open your eyes. This is not that cute boy you were crushing on in school. He grew up into a grade A asshole. People are what they are, they do what they do. This guy evidently hits women. I'm a guy and I wouldn't even befriend a woman beater... just... why?

Posted by sweethearts
Yes I got that looking around the Lib thread...my my, amazing what a little moonshine does for dutch courage 😉

Good for you being able to sit back and relax a little, do us a favour and hold that tongue should I make an ass out of myself 🙂

No worries about that.

Even if it's just a friend thing, I still say you should just leave it be. When a male and a female are friends, you never know when romantic feelings might develop. It's easier to STAY out of a relationship than to GET out of one.

Posted by ellessque
if you worked for me you would be so fired right about now.

lol.

i mean imo personal and work should never mix unless those people work in 2 big departments lmao.

for me iam not losing my job or money for no one lmao

Trust me chickky, you don't want this to be your theme song, like it was mine my last birthday.

In response to the poster's original question...

Remember that you're at work & that you have a job to do. I'm not saying that people with pending criminal cases aren't good people or worth giving a chance romantically, BUT if you really want to get to know him, you should probably study his case a little bit more. And if you do (considering the crazy charges being filed against him) he may not be so peachy clean & golden like you once thought he was when you guys were little kids

I get that you want to help him & hey, that's very honorable of you. BUT, be honest with yourself about things. Do you only want to help him more b/c you expect something from him (commitment, his time/energy, etc.) OR would you have been so willing to lend a helping hand regardless of whether you knew him personally or not? In other words, don't use your job to take advantage of a situation b/c it'll backfire on you.

Hell, he may even be embarrassed to start a friendship or anything with you since I'm sure he'd much rather preferred that your image of him remain innocent.

If friendship is all you want, I don't see anything wrong with you reaching out to him. But if you have other intentions, atleast do a little bit more research 1st. Whatever you do, don't cross any boundaries within your job that could get YOU in legal trouble or lose your job. And ESPECIALLY since you barely know anything about him now.