how to deal with virgo men?

Hey,

about 1.5 year ago I had an affair with a Virgo friend. It was very intense but very short. We both pulled away after- I did it 1st time in my life- without explanation , talk, anything. He did it as well.

After one month of silence he started to invite me only to drinking with his friends- so I felt offended that I was not the 'gf material' but a friend material he wanted to friendzone after affair. But I met all of his friends and etc.

He was nice and kind to me.

But started to ignore me, and when ignoring me I was panicking I was losing his attention and so one. So I started to pull back twice as him.

We were meeting sometimes at parties when he was usually looking at me and trying to approach me but something stopped him.

Hehas a lot of friends, female friends, closer or more distanced- he is kind of popular guy- but under the mask of a popularity he is sensitive and wants peace and silence. He is 170 cm- so has a loooot of complexes when it comes to height- I am 170 cm as well so for me he is ok. But whenever i wanted to talk to him he was pulling away- really like in a movie- once i just took his hand and throw him to a wall telling him wtf- and he did ran away!!!! it was a 1 ago.

So i started to ignore him.

So when he didnt have my attention he started to beg for it by his behaviour- like he could have party girls but I couldnt have anyone else... He behaved jealous when I was with someone, male friend at a party. He could grab my hand and touch my face at 3 am and then when i started to text him or i wanted to meet up friendly like a friend next day he always used excauses. So i started to ignore him again.

Started to work with his best friends- we are in the same industry and they helped me. I am an attractive girl so they also gave me a 'male' attantion. And i felt flattered that those cool guys were nice to me.

Whenever HE- this Virgo guy- saw me with his best friends ( taller, maybe more attractive ( in general)- more manly) he started to be like a shadow, he was usually jealous again, usually didnt know what do to and how to be when i am in a company- be nice, or jealous to me.

I know he didnt want to lose me, but he plays with my emotions. I like him. 3 weeks ago I asked him why it didnt worked out last year and he was eager to continue - was supposed to write, call, i was waiting 2 weeks---of course he didnt call. On parties ignores me, pulls back. BUT whenever sees me with someone new, or his collegues acts like jealouse, wants to have my attention.

Started using insagram, snapchat when I told a month ago in a company that I am active on that two stupid apps. He started to like my pics, started to see what is going with my life. WHY does he do it if he doesnt want anything from me? ( I reckon except friendship?) Why does he want my attention?

I am so confused. I know when a guy wants he will do anything. I get so bad and mixed signals. Really he acts jealous whenever I am with someone else BUT HE CAN HAVE other female friends, or wanna-be-his-girlfriends...

He always wants to help me which is kinda weird because i am so confused and I dont like him being so nice and offering help when he doesnt want anything from me... :/

What to do with him?

Thanks Joanne

Send him over to me, I'll whip him into shape.

he does what he wants, people admire him for being so cool , friendly- he does everything in public- like posts on facebook about what he does in life- ok cool things, travels, works and etc- he gains attention of a lot of people...

but i think he wants my attention as well- and whenever i am not giving it to him he bags for it weirdly...

why is that?

why does he do it?

i am ignoring him now , doesnt 'like' his comments, posts on fb or instagram- i dont look on his snapchat, dont receive it- because he acted unfairly to me. its not the 1st time- he said he would call, write and he didnt do it...

usually appears when he wants- not only to me but to other people as well- and others usually dont care and are ok with this behaviour- i am more strict and he doesnt like it.

because he is not a 'friend' level to me. we had an affair i dont wanna be friendzoned.

Posted by yupvirgoo
@joanne_p

maybe he does like you

just kinda too insecure to do anything about it

too insecure?

he knows i like him.

otherwise i wouldnt asked him out - 1st time in my life i did that. -.- then he didnt take the promise. - what he would tell me - sorry i like you but no , i dont want- it would hurt me.

he is nice 🙂

he is a nice asshole 🙂

sometimes tells me i should find a bf, ( In june) then acts jealous. i think he behaves like a dog in a manger.

I am Aries

because he knows i like him and still think of him.

now he's gone to other country for travel purposes. he updates every single time of his travel- went alone.

ok i understand that.

i feel like he is doing it because he wants to have everyone in his life- including me.

i dont want.

it was the same a year ago- when i pulled back twice as him he got panicking. really.

at the beginning was very nice and calm and when he saw i didnt care- he got panicked.

and idk if it will be like this this year. i dont wann aplay that game...

You had an affair?

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by joanne_p
because he knows i like him and still think of him.

now he's gone to other country for travel purposes. he updates every single time of his travel- went alone.

ok i understand that.

i feel like he is doing it because he wants to have everyone in his life- including me.

i dont want.

it was the same a year ago- when i pulled back twice as him he got panicking. really.

at the beginning was very nice and calm and when he saw i didnt care- he got panicked.

and idk if it will be like this this year. i dont wann aplay that game...

Ahh I see. He probably has some commitment issues. I used to panic a lot about commitment back in college. But.... it's not always because I can't commit. It's coz I wanna be sure that I will commit. Maybe he's thinking about it?

If you don't like the waiting game with absolutely no guarantees of the final outcome, you shouldn't wait around.

click to expand

he is very intelligent, party boy, but his mind is perfect. he reads a lot, he works a lot but he is handsome and parties a lot as well.

and wears glasses ;o

can i make him commit? i dont wanna play the attention game any more- i see he has a loooot of female friends who have crush on him because he is nice, calm but handsome and parties a lot 🙂

i would prefer to be recognised by mind not by parties or face...

its been 1.5 year that we have been playing this game... its so weird.

for me its more strict that for example i usually talk after relationship i dont pull back, even after short affairs before, me and some friends talked about it. he didnt.

for me its been 1.5 year of searching for his answer even for me if it was obvious- he didnt wanna commit. but why?

usually he doesnt make promises.. idk. i dont like it. thats why i ignore him. maybe im too 'mature' for that=- and i cant play games like his 20yo female friends that dont care 🙂

he ended 3 year relationship in 2013 since then he had a few affairs- i know those girls. but i dont wanna be the 'next one' i wanna be a proper girlfriend. hope you understand.

and if he doesnt want- i dont know why- because he lets me go- and when i let go he panicks.and wants me in his life again.

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by joanne_p

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by joanne_p
because he knows i like him and still think of him.

now he's gone to other country for travel purposes. he updates every single time of his travel- went alone.

ok i understand that.

i feel like he is doing it because he wants to have everyone in his life- including me.

i dont want.

it was the same a year ago- when i pulled back twice as him he got panicking. really.

at the beginning was very nice and calm and when he saw i didnt care- he got panicked.

and idk if it will be like this this year. i dont wann aplay that game...

Ahh I see. He probably has some commitment issues. I used to panic a lot about commitment back in college. But.... it's not always because I can't commit. It's coz I wanna be sure that I will commit. Maybe he's thinking about it?

If you don't like the waiting game with absolutely no guarantees of the final outcome, you shouldn't wait around.

he is very intelligent, party boy, but his mind is perfect. he reads a lot, he works a lot but he is handsome and parties a lot as well.

and wears glasses ;o

can i make him commit? i dont wanna play the attention game any more- i see he has a loooot of female friends who have crush on him because he is nice, calm but handsome and parties a lot 🙂

i would prefer to be recognised by mind not by parties or face...

yeah why not? i partied a lot in college, so much so that i was pretty much known for it lol flirted with lots of girls too, was constantly drunk... but hey i still sobered up and got married and became a nerdy professor lol

i actually kinda like the sound of this guy, he seems like someone id be friends with

click to expand

yes he is very cool, very intelligent and so one. if i was a guy id be friend with him lol as well.

but unfortunately i had a crush on him, and he had on me.

and i didnt feel ok with him not being my boyfriend now.

maybe its just hard for me to recognise the truth that he didnt want me.

and i must still fake my emotions.

and even when 3 weeks ago i mentioned that topic about last year and he said yes thats cool, we could make up again, started over blabla

and nothing was ok.

and i felt so bad. but didnt make him feel i care.



i just dont know what type of gf that type of a guy wants.

before i had other types of guys. maybe its some misterious mix of woman behaviour?

i was direct with him. but he make me feel so stressed. like even when we are together he sometimes is nice. sometimes makes my angry and i am very short tempered. he is perfectionist and he has a problem being perfect in a real life. he pursue people young friends to be succesfull. he is like a dad giving advices and young girls fell in love.

and with me it was a different story.

and he made me feel so weird and undecided by his behaviour... it was 1st time in my life that i couldnt be so direct because i was so stressed if he would ignore me again or not 😐

never before had i experience such weird behaviour like someone would put a stone in my heart.

i usually dont have problems in conversations. and with him, and some of his friends it took me 1-2 years to get to know them...

STILL he makes me feel weak even if im strong woman. really.

i was direct ( kinda) 3 weeks ago and he didnt take the promise. i mean maybe it was nothing to him but HEY its still weird.