In need of HELP :(

I think some of you already know me. I'm having anxiety attacks again so I just logged on here and see if anyone could help me.

My Venus and Mercury are both in Libra. I couldn't remember which exact part of my natal chart makes me a very friendly person but I do remember that it's one of my planets in Libra (so it's either Venus or Mercury, can't remember exactly).

And then my Moon is in Leo. So that makes me a very egoistic person deep inside. I easily get hurt by the most mundane things sometimes, whenever they hit my ego. 😢

Sun is in Virgo... I don't know how this would fit in in my current problem but I just mentioned it anyway.

Some weird things are happening lately. Of course I have foregone all these with the hopes that they're just the silliest things. But now, I am considering this as a huge issue I need to deal with. Otherwise, my confidence will really go down, which is not so good with my Leo moon. 😢

I'm really getting crazy over this. My friends are going, going, gone. It's hard to relax and have fun these days with little to no friends left.

Back in college, I had no problems with my social life. I have friends here and there. I constantly meet new ones and always have fun with them. That was 2008. Things went downhill from there. As I entered law school and met my blockmates in 2009, I just couldn't feel them. I wasn't comfortable hanging out with them. They're just too difficult to deal with. And so, I had very little friends in our block who then faded away as mere acquaintances now. Then, I transferred to another law school and because some of my subjects weren't credited, I became an irregular student. As an irregular student, I wasn't able to develop relationships with any particular group of friends. All because I have subjects for each year level. I grew a lot of acquaintances though... but it's just too weird that none of them ever included me in their circles. @_@ What makes me a lot lonelier is that my friends back in college are quite hard to reach. They live in the deep city while I live in the suburbs and you know how traffic is in Manila! @_@!!!

This coming June, I'll be coming back HOME and transfer to another school so I could be living with my family once again (they need me in our family business). I'm quite surprised though that one of my closest college friends who lives in our hometown is not very welcoming anymore.

Things are getting lonelier every day! I wonder if I could really do somethin

Your having anxiety attacks bec you dont have friends?

Posted by firebunny
I'm really getting crazy over this. My friends are going, going, gone. It's hard to relax and have fun these days with little to no friends left.

You don't need friends to have fun. There are so many fun things to do by yourself - books, movies, plays, concerts, museums

Perhaps someone new will notice you having fun by yourself and strike up a friendship with you 🙂

All is good... WE will always be here for you 😉

Posted by DMV
Your having anxiety attacks bec you dont have friends?

Yes. Having friends is a really important matter to me based on my natal chart (particularly Venus in Libra) and my Leo moon's pride just doesn't get it. @_@

I've talked to my parents about this matter and they said, this is pretty normal because my college friends have been living very different lives from my own. It's just quite hard for me to accept this because they've been so dear to me. I have strong fixed placements too so it's a bit hard for me to accept changes in life.

As to my law school classmates and friends: we rarely contact each other. I guess that's just the way it is in law schools. I barely have social life in law school and that's really making me feel uncomfortable with my place. I've tried to reach out too but all I get are acquaintances. Being at the top of the class (sorry to brag just a little) while having very few friends has often made me uncomfortable the past few months. Once, there was this guy whom I had confrontation with. All along, I thought we're friends but then this thing happened: he told me how coc*y/arrogant I am and how I often feel superior to others and how I've always wanted to be in the limelight, etc etc. It happened in the presence of two other classmates, whom I thought would try to appease the both of us. They didn't do a thing. I was like, what??!! They were silently affirming what the guy said?! I never wanted to be in the limelight, and I've always tried to be low-key, and I have never offended anyone, at least to my knowledge. I then concluded that these people must have been soooo fake. They're hiding their insecurities from me all along while simultaneously asking me questions about certain legal topics they have a hard time understanding. I couldn't just show them how pi*sed off I am (whenever they ask me questions) as I'm afraid that if I ever show my anger, I'm pretty sure I'll be criticized again especially since I am a mere transferee anyway. And I just don't feel trusting anyone anymore. I'm trying to find one but it's pretty hard since there's no single person I know who happens to be my classmate in all or majority of my classes. I use intuition when it comes to trusting anyone. The one person I can trust, however, has always been far from my radar (we're not classmates at all so it's quite rare to find the both of us in the same place)

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish
Firebunny making friends as an adult can really suck. Also, people outgrow one another, it's not necessarily personal. Some people are meant to only be in your life for a season or a reason, and once that passed, it's time to move on.

This I just recently realized. Quite hard to accept though. I had a really great FUN time in college! 🙂

All those libra placements, you're probably dying for intellectual stimulation. I'm not familiar with Manila, what type of social clubs do you have?

There's plenty of bars in this city. The problem is TRAFFIC. @_@

Is there a toastmasters organization or associations for lawyers you can get involved in? What about taking up classes for a hobby, like dance or boxing or something. Loneliness is mostly about a desire to connect with others and feel understood. What you need in your life is like-minded people. If all else fails, you can always keep connecting at dxpnet. We're all a bitter loony, so you may even be the normal one here. 🙂

Thanks for the suggestions. 🙂

Sounds like you are extremely stressed out in both your personal and professionally. Your anxiety attacks are probably triggered because you feel a lack of control over your own life, and a sense of loss. Breathe. It's within your power to control your life, but not how the people in your life react to you. If you aren't satisfied with how you are treated, well it's time to make new friends.

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I'm not really extremely stressed but you figured it out right: I have lack of control over my own life! I mean, really! These are the other issues I need to deal with that make me unable to control my life/future:

* Laziness
* Indulgence
* Parents' desire to decide for the future of my life in nearly all the crucial crossroads I've been through (+ some brainwashing 😢)

Posted by s4nd
Some of my blockmates grossed me out. Like ewww real people. Who is john galt?

where did you study to have some blockmates?! btw, i know some people who graduated from ateneo high. one is my close friend. you probably know him (or maybe not coz you guys have a dozen of sections I think).

Posted by s4nd
I forgot to say it must be saturn transiting ur 7th the house of relationships...

what do you mean sand? 🙂 i promise, i'd be reading more on this once i get to have more free time. 🙂

Posted by lildol
All is good... WE will always be here for you 😉

sweeeet. thanks for the lovely picture, lildol. 🙂