Saviour complex/mentality

Do you notice that some signs/placements exhibit alot, i mean ALOT of saviour complex? To the point where they forget to worry about their own backyard and try and tend other people's backyards?

http://www.peopleskillsdecoded.com/savior-complex/<BR>
"Here's a fairytale gone badly, as it sometimes happens in real life: There was once a little girl who believed that all good things will come to her if she is really nice and always helps other people.

She was always there for her aging parents; she even refused a dream job because it was in another town and she didn't want to move too far from her parents. She would always help her friends, lend them money, give them advice and get them out of trouble.

Her colleagues at work could always rely on her and she would often get behind on her projects to give them a hand with theirs. She also had this affinity towards guys with serious problems (jobless, alcohol abusing, emotionally imbalanced), the kind of guys that desperately needed help.

After about ten years of doing this, she felt miserably. She wasn't getting the love, appreciation and recognition she wanted, most people had started taking all her help for granted, her life did not look the way she??d hoped it would."

--

something i have noticed in my time learning about astrology.

"What Is The Savior Complex?

The savior complex is a psychological construct which makes a person feel the need to save other people. This person has a strong tendency to seek people who desperately need help and to assist them, often sacrificing their own needs for these people.

There are many sides to a savior complex and it has many roots. One of its fundamental roots, in my experience, consists in a limiting belief the savior person has that goes something like this:

—If I always help people in need, I will get their love and approval, and have a happy life.??

This is of course, a nice sounding fairytale.

Houston We Have a Problem

Often, in real life, a savior will have such an unassertive way of helping others that instead of becoming grateful, they get used to it and they expect it. They feel entitled to receive help from this person, simply because they need it and they??ve always got it.

On top of this, always putting other people's needs first makes a savior not take care of their own needs. So while they may feel happy because they are helping others, at some level, they feel bitter and frustrated at the same time."

--http://www.peopleskillsdecoded.com/savior-complex/

Posted by sandynads
i've wanted to save lindsay lohan for years. 😈

Lol.

most do.

UGH I'm trying to break this crappy cycle. I have reached a break through of running the other way when I get the "lost puppy syndrome" creeping in my feels. When I was a teenager and in my early 20s that up there was so me. I just wanted others to be happy. I still do but now I try to be happy too. It's not easy breaking that habit of always being available for others. It took a couple of jerks to get me to open my eyes to reality. Even family will take everything if you let them.

Posted by sandynads
but i think it's possible my partner will be one of those women that have been through a lot... something with my 8th house ruler in 7th... i think.

what have u found out?

Lindsay is still very cute. If you have natural beauty (unless you do alot of drugs/alcohol/smoking like a chainsmoker, it will effect your looks, no matter what surgery does) it kind of just stays with you till the bitter end. Look at Elizabeth Taylor and countless others.

well definitely water signs, but it can also be that those with water placements really really hate others who try to embark on their nosey do-gooder quest to save people

In what you said, about most likely having a partner that has gone through alot, I'd say yeah, perhaps, very very likely. I believe you'd be bored otherwise.

Posted by kissmygrits
UGH I'm trying to break this crappy cycle. I have reached a break through of running the other way when I get the "lost puppy syndrome" creeping in my feels. When I was a teenager and in my early 20s that up there was so me. I just wanted others to be happy. I still do but now I try to be happy too. It's not easy breaking that habit of always being available for others. It took a couple of jerks to get me to open my eyes to reality. Even family will take everything if you let them.

Usually it's the man who wants to save the "damsel in distress" ....I guess for women, it's saving the "wretched poor soul in distress".

but what i'm talking too, is those persons/individuals who want to save the world. Ignoring their own backyard. Their backyard becomes unattended and barren. It's a mentality of, "Save the world because they can't save themselves." thus,their energies get sucked and sucked and they are forever in a state of pure insecurity sadness. The feeling they get, like what the article says, is to bleed your heart and soul, and maybe the world will give something back. Well, welcome to the world, mister do-gooder, miss do-gooder, it ain't going to give you anything back, because you haven't taken care of your own world.

"There was once a little girl who believed that all good things will come to her if she is really nice and always helps other people."

Aw shit!

A guy I dated told me he didn't want to be my next project, he didn't need fixing :/
(yeah he did!)

But, in all reality, some of us really do get great satisfaction out of improving the lives of others, or at least trying anyway. What we do makes us feel valued, we can make a difference! Altruism goes a long way.

—The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.??
?? Ralph Waldo Emerson

Posted by lildol
"There was once a little girl who believed that all good things will come to her if she is really nice and always helps other people."

Aw shit!

it's probably the "intention".

Posted by tiziani

Posted by lisabethur8
but what i'm talking too, is those persons/individuals who want to save the world. Ignoring their own backyard. Their backyard becomes unattended and barren. It's a mentality of, "Save the world because they can't save themselves." thus,their energies get sucked and sucked and they are forever in a state of pure insecurity sadness. The feeling they get, like what the article says, is to bleed your heart and soul, and maybe the world will give something back. Well, welcome to the world, mister do-gooder, miss do-gooder, it ain't going to give you anything back, because you haven't taken care of your own world.

Eventually most people get to a point where saving the world equates to saving themselves. I credit myself with keeping hold of my sanity in the last 5 years as my biggest achievement.

click to expand

I guess, different strokes for different folks.

Posted by lisabethur8
but what i'm talking too, is those persons/individuals who want to save the world. Ignoring their own backyard. Their backyard becomes unattended and barren. It's a mentality of, "Save the world because they can't save themselves." thus,their energies get sucked and sucked and they are forever in a state of pure insecurity sadness. The feeling they get, like what the article says, is to bleed your heart and soul, and maybe the world will give something back. Well, welcome to the world, mister do-gooder, miss do-gooder, it ain't going to give you anything back, because you haven't taken care of your own world.

You can't take care of others, if you don't first take care of yourself.

I agree with that; it make sense.

However, I suspect that there are some people who do this for not so noble reasons-- whether they are aware of it, or not.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Cancers...

Not this Cancer.

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by lisabethur8
but what i'm talking too, is those persons/individuals who want to save the world. Ignoring their own backyard. Their backyard becomes unattended and barren. It's a mentality of, "Save the world because they can't save themselves." thus,their energies get sucked and sucked and they are forever in a state of pure insecurity sadness. The feeling they get, like what the article says, is to bleed your heart and soul, and maybe the world will give something back. Well, welcome to the world, mister do-gooder, miss do-gooder, it ain't going to give you anything back, because you haven't taken care of your own world.

You can't take care of others, if you don't first take care of yourself.

I agree with that; it make sense.

However, I suspect that there are some people who do this for not so noble reasons-- whether they are aware of it, or not.

click to expand

you have to. Take care of yourself first/your loved ones.

Hmmm you right. They might not be aware that the "intentions" are not fully noble. If they are single, and they have NO family to take care of, I believe that is a good just cause to go out into the world and take care of others, but take care of yourself too. And if their health is good, and they have alot of energy, they can go and tackle the world. (that's just one example)

I want to share something: was approached at the mall/supermarket by these fellows who were trying to sign up people for volunteer work worldwide and go out into the world, and they will pay for your airfare, accommodations, food, but all you have to do is sacrifice your time full time, and your company, your energy, leave your family and friends behind. They were really forceful, trying to make you BLEED your heart. I'm like, no, sorry, find someone else who has can fully do that FULL time, and be away from their family. It's as if he/these people have NO effing clue that there are people out there who don't want that. They think you should drop everything to save the world. It kind of god me irritated. I had to tell them truthfully, hey we have things to worry about in our own backyard k?
My father in law is sick, and plenty need us in our own household,family ect. Find someone who doesn't have ties k? They're so persistent.

Posted by sandynads
it sounds like this personality type but it's not mine.

i think i'm an 8-3-6. power, achievement, security.

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/typetwo.asp#.UnkK1fk_us0

sounds like my husband.

My Libran friend told me numerous times how he fantasizes about rescuing a woman from an abusive/asshole boyfriend. Something about them getting into a fight in a bar than he comes to the rescue. I found it a rather vivid fantasy. Pisces Moon, Libra Merc, Scorp Venus, Cap Mars. Libra ascendant too I think.

Posted by PVAF
Pisces, Virgos, people with packed 6 houses...😢

I've gotten better though...

pisces/virgo dynamic = fix it mentality/saving the damsel distress....same thing. lol.

Posted by sandynads

Posted by lisabethur8
I want to share something: was approached at the mall/supermarket by these fellows who were trying to sign up people for volunteer work worldwide and go out into the world, and they will pay for your airfare, accommodations, food, but all you have to do is sacrifice your time full time, and your company, your energy, leave your family and friends behind. They were really forceful, trying to make you BLEED your heart. I'm like, no, sorry, find someone else who has can fully do that FULL time, and be away from their family. It's as if he/these people have NO effing clue that there are people out there who don't want that. They think you should drop everything to save the world. It kind of god me irritated. I had to tell them truthfully, hey we have things to worry about in our own backyard k?
My father in law is sick, and plenty need us in our own household,family ect. Find someone who doesn't have ties k? They're so persistent.

sounds like an aqua... or jupiter in aqua.

click to expand

was gonna say....some of the aquas are really into that stuff. not all aquas, and not all jupiter aquas either. mother in law might be an aqua venus conjunct jupiter aqua, and she has a mentality to save the world ...sort of. social work, social reform, but she would rather take care of her backyard first. although she is a world traveler, and has seen the poor and wretched. her heart doesn't bleed where she will get SWINDLED though. No way. She's told us stories of Indian taxi drivers who wanted MORE money from her, to take her to a destination, because she was a single woman on travel, and she was no way budging.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=white&#37; 20knighting

White Knighting
White Knighting typically occurs when their are two men and one girl. White Knighting is easy to spot and very annoying when you are trying to get laid with a crappy wingman.

"White Knighting is when one man is trying to get a girl into his bed while in the same area as his friend, his friend (if he is a White Knight) will typically attempt to disperse the conversation by presenting his chivalrous words such as: "Have some respect for women, Johnny" or "Miss, he's just trying to get laid" while simultaneously attempting to get laid himself by showing respect to the women. A White Knight will never act chivalrous when he is not around another guy.
Jim: Hey babe, you wanna go back to my place? I'll make you some food.
Lancelot: Jim, your just trying to sleep with her, I see this every time we go out
Girl: Excuse me? I'm not a slut. (leaves)
Jim: What the hell Lancelot, quit your White Knighting, I was about to get laid.
Lancelot: Dude I know! We should totally go out again tomorrow! I'm about to get that girls number, she's totally into me."


white knighting sounds like a Lancelot/Arthur/queen Guinevere thing.

Posted by lisabethur8
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=white&#37; 20knighting

White Knighting
White Knighting typically occurs when their are two men and one girl. White Knighting is easy to spot and very annoying when you are trying to get laid with a crappy wingman.

"White Knighting is when one man is trying to get a girl into his bed while in the same area as his friend, his friend (if he is a White Knight) will typically attempt to disperse the conversation by presenting his chivalrous words such as: "Have some respect for women, Johnny" or "Miss, he's just trying to get laid" while simultaneously attempting to get laid himself by showing respect to the women. A White Knight will never act chivalrous when he is not around another guy.
Jim: Hey babe, you wanna go back to my place? I'll make you some food.
Lancelot: Jim, your just trying to sleep with her, I see this every time we go out
Girl: Excuse me? I'm not a slut. (leaves)
Jim: What the hell Lancelot, quit your White Knighting, I was about to get laid.
Lancelot: Dude I know! We should totally go out again tomorrow! I'm about to get that girls number, she's totally into me."


white knighting sounds like a Lancelot/Arthur/queen Guinevere thing.

"Miss, he's just trying to get laid" LOL a friend and a half 😛

Posted by sandynads

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by sandynads

Posted by lisabethur8
I want to share something: was approached at the mall/supermarket by these fellows who were trying to sign up people for volunteer work worldwide and go out into the world, and they will pay for your airfare, accommodations, food, but all you have to do is sacrifice your time full time, and your company, your energy, leave your family and friends behind. They were really forceful, trying to make you BLEED your heart. I'm like, no, sorry, find someone else who has can fully do that FULL time, and be away from their family. It's as if he/these people have NO effing clue that there are people out there who don't want that. They think you should drop everything to save the world. It kind of god me irritated. I had to tell them truthfully, hey we have things to worry about in our own backyard k?
My father in law is sick, and plenty need us in our own household,family ect. Find someone who doesn't have ties k? They're so persistent.

sounds like an aqua... or jupiter in aqua.

was gonna say....some of the aquas are really into that stuff. not all aquas, and not all jupiter aquas either. mother in law might be an aqua venus conjunct jupiter aqua, and she has a mentality to save the world ...sort of. social work, social reform, but she would rather take care of her backyard first. although she is a world traveler, and has seen the poor and wretched. her heart doesn't bleed where she will get SWINDLED though. No way. She's told us stories of Indian taxi drivers who wanted MORE money from her, to take her to a destination, because she was a single woman on travel, and she was no way budging.

they can get catty if someone is picked to save the world and it's not them. seriously. 😛

click to expand

smh.
well, chinese astrology says Year of the tigers love humanitarian causes:
http://www.primalastrology.com/tiger.html<BR> They are intense, magnetic, and authoritative individuals who have big ideals to support their big personalities. Tigers are often into humanitarian causes, but unlike many other idealists they are often rebellious and outspoken in their cries for ju

Posted by Theatrum

Posted by lisabethur8
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=white&#37; 20knighting

White Knighting
White Knighting typically occurs when their are two men and one girl. White Knighting is easy to spot and very annoying when you are trying to get laid with a crappy wingman.

"White Knighting is when one man is trying to get a girl into his bed while in the same area as his friend, his friend (if he is a White Knight) will typically attempt to disperse the conversation by presenting his chivalrous words such as: "Have some respect for women, Johnny" or "Miss, he's just trying to get laid" while simultaneously attempting to get laid himself by showing respect to the women. A White Knight will never act chivalrous when he is not around another guy.
Jim: Hey babe, you wanna go back to my place? I'll make you some food.
Lancelot: Jim, your just trying to sleep with her, I see this every time we go out
Girl: Excuse me? I'm not a slut. (leaves)
Jim: What the hell Lancelot, quit your White Knighting, I was about to get laid.
Lancelot: Dude I know! We should totally go out again tomorrow! I'm about to get that girls number, she's totally into me."


white knighting sounds like a Lancelot/Arthur/queen Guinevere thing.

"Miss, he's just trying to get laid" LOL a friend and a half 😛

click to expand

alot of people really like the King Arthur love story, but it's usually between Guinevere/Lancelot. Check out fansites ect for it. Loads of women just seem to fantasize this.

Well she is a woman that alot of women love to be.

they won't admit it. because it will cause them to be OSTRACISED.

Personally, she is a homewrecker. she does NOT deserve Arthur.

but then Arthur has his own personal demons.

Lancelot is a weakling. But she seems to love Lancelot, more than Arthur.

It is Morganna that has an obsession with Arthur.

Morganna/Arthur is forbidden.....

because of the half sister/half brother thing.

In the end, it is Morganna who has the baby with Arthur.

Not Guinevere. she is barren. And her life is inexplicitly full of suffering because she doesn't have either one in the end anyway. Homewreckers dont.

Posted by Arietteheart
interesting. I can see me sacrificing myself trying to save and fix people. I would resent the sh*t out of someone if they tried "White knighting" me though. I don't want to be saved. I want to be an equal partner. If I'm not bringing everything you're bringing to the table, then I don't deserve you.

Indeed, but does it have to be the *same* thing?

Sagittarius.

But I often feel like they're just doing it for the praise. But I don't trust many, so maybe that's why I feel that way.

Posted by AriesIntrovert16
Sagittarius.

But I often feel like they're just doing it for the praise. But I don't trust many, so maybe that's why I feel that way.

this is what i see in pisceans, aquarians and caps... It's always for acknowledgement. Scorps, libras, and cancers will help because it's the right thing to do, and not for praise, IME.

Lisa are we frustrated with life?
😄

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Lisa are we frustrated with life?
😄

more like frustrsted with people.

Posted by ANRivas

Posted by AriesIntrovert16
Sagittarius.

But I often feel like they're just doing it for the praise. But I don't trust many, so maybe that's why I feel that way.

this is what i see in pisceans, aquarians and caps... It's always for acknowledgement. Scorps, libras,d her hubny is a pisves. Tjey travel a and cancers will help because it's the right thing to do, and not for praise, IME.

click to expand

you have got to be kidding. my m.i.l sister in law is a libra early oct. And her hubby is pisces early march. Know where they lived? In rwanda,africa.....and not for vacation.

i'm not knocking if people do that, it's just since i got into astrology recently, alot of stuff is very untrue and true. so it depends on the individual. just wanted to point that out.

the king arthur one, well, since i read king arthur, i adore his character: noble and good, but he has a great downfall. in the end, he got killed by his own son. (sins of the father) He wouldn't even listen to Merlin who is all wise and knowing and sees the future. *shrug* that's how it is.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Lisa are we frustrated with life?
😄

more like frustrsted with people.

click to expand

It's alright, people can be stupid!

Posted by lisabethur8
i'm not knocking if people do that, it's just since i got into astrology recently, alot of stuff is very untrue and true. so it depends on the individual. just wanted to point that out.

the king arthur one, well, since i read king arthur, i adore his character: noble and good, but he has a great downfall. in the end, he got killed by his own son. (sins of the father) He wouldn't even listen to Merlin who is all wise and knowing and sees the future. *shrug* that's how it is.

Well i didn't say pisceans don't do anything good, just that their motives are often praise and acknowledgment. That's why i said "in my experience"; of course i don't know every piscean in the world and even if i did there really aren't any absolutes with astrology.

Posted by PVAF

Posted by ANRivas

Posted by AriesIntrovert16
Sagittarius.

But I often feel like they're just doing it for the praise. But I don't trust many, so maybe that's why I feel that way.

this is what i see in pisceans, aquarians and caps... It's always for acknowledgement. Scorps, libras, and cancers will help because it's the right thing to do, and not for praise, IME.

No I'm no different from cancers. Florence nightingale complex. I've gotten better over the years. I know longer feel the need to mend every broken soul. I know urged Pisces who are similar.

click to expand

i've never been a florence nightingale, but i have met in the past people who are indeed bleeding hearts for everyone around them than their own family. i dont care if other people do it, and are that way but dont presume certain signs/placements are the same because upbringing ect are huge factors and I notice too, INFLUENCE. how easily influenced you are. which is why, the media just loves and eats up this stuff. Right now, my neighbors are taking care of their own backyard, literally. we have fences around us, and they dont give a damn about what goes on in our backyard.

as long as it doesn't interfere with theirs! that's the ticket right there. If it interferes into their backyard, they're going to raise a ruckus, because no tresspassing! no one likes that of course.
People want and love their privacy and doing their own thing. Just as long as you aren't doing anything illegal, like prostitute trafficking, drugs that are illegal, ect all kinds of stupidity that the law itself won't take you down for.

anyway, about King Arthur and the Guinevere/Lancelot

even loads of authors have done lots of writing on this triangle. this one is a good one for anyone interested in the Lancelot/Guinevere thing. The women just eats up this stuff:

ImageShack.us

i actually went up to look for Florence Nightingale:

http://www.astrotheme.com/astrology/Florence_Nightingale<BR>
Asc virgo (there you go! J/k) double taurus (tenacity and will power) mars in leo (courage and strength) venus in Cancer (there you go again! double J/k)

no but seriously, in her time, she was a SINGLE woman who loved women.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_Nightingale<BR>
"She did, however, have several important and long-lasting friendships with women. Later in life she kept up a prolonged correspondence with Irish nun Sister Mary Clare Moore, with whom she had worked in Crimea.[24] Her most beloved confidante was Mary Clarke, an Englishwoman she met in 1837 and kept in touch with throughout her life.[25]
Some scholars of Nightingale's life believe that she remained chaste for her entire life; perhaps because she felt a religious calling to her career.[26]"


she reminds me of Mother Theresa. =)