911 I need some help

Ok I have a problem, I started to talk to this guy on plentyoffish (he had no picture) and he seems like a nice guy.....started kidding with and today he puts a picture up....

Problem is I know him and he is a cancer that I had a past crush on....it never got off the ground basically because I guess I am not that patient and he hurt me and I perceived it to be lack of respect.....anyway I called him on it was very civil but got my point across....and we have never spoken again....

So I know its him and things have been light and fun....but now I know I know him and I feel it would be a lie not to disclose this fact.....

What should I do?

I know you are right LK I couldn't live with myself if I didn't....it would be a lie and it would make it hard if I fall again and if he found out that I lied....well it would be over...not a good way to start a relationship...

So how do you think I should tell......like funny thing....I kinda know you...lol and see what he replies to that?

So LK....

Something.....like funny thing you posted your picture today and I couldn't help but notice that I know you...go figure small world....getting smaller.....anyway yup I know you

and then wait to see if he replies and when he asks who I am tell him?

No I know you are right....the next time he emails me I am just going to tell him that I have something funny.....not funny hilarious but funny ironic....small world getting smaller and that I noticed the picture that he posted yesterday and funny thing....I know you...nice picture by the way 🙂 No drama just that I can't pretend like your a stranger cause I couldn't live with the guilt...just the way I am wired....and that I do enjoy chatting with you so whatever you decide I can live with

What do you think? a mans point of view would be appreciated also....so cansir if you or any other cancer men are out there please feel free to chime in🙂

K so here is an update so far.....I told him in a joking way....and yes he does remember me....the lines of communication are still open so that must be a good thing...we will see what happens...

so any words of wisdom to how to keep it positive and moving forward?

Thats what I have been trying to do.....keep the conversation moving forward in a non threatening way....haven't mentioned it again since we got past it

He really is pretty negative about his life and has actually opened up a bit....so a bit confusing....and then long times between messages....hard to gadge what is going thru his head....but it is what it is...

Actually the positive part is that he is opening up.....since I last talked to him he was injured on the job and has been off work ....so like I said he is opening up not giving him any excuses and it is what it is, we will see where it goes.....

Who knows once I do get to know him I might think "what was I thinking" but we shall see...

I would probably say something like "Oh my goodness i know that cute face anywhere! with all the fish in the sea we meet again, you think fate is trying to tell us something?? *wink,wink*" of course thats just me..lol

Jenn

Awwwwww that would of been so romantic if they met without seeing each others pic first! *blush*

Jenn

So you think if I say something like that he might become a little more open....kinda flirt with him?

First impression is that he is not very romantic....seems rather gruff!

Yup I can't change him and I can't heal his past hurts.....we all have to move forward....he's not a child and I am not his mother....

I do think its a good thing that things have happened as they have....it will give me the opportunity to see him for who he really is not the dream I had while wearing rose coloured glasses....

Don't worry LK I walked away before anything started before because he was a _ss.....and I have no problem doing it again....

He obivously does have issues.....all I can remember is that he was living with someone....something happened lawyers were involved etc....but that was some time ago I think 3-4 years.....he probably has issues with his mother also lol

Only time will tell how this is going to play out!

Something like that happened to me actually. My first ever boyfriend was a scorpio and we loved each other to death. We had to end things for one reason or another and we were both pretty cut up about it. 10 years later, I bump into him at a cashpoint..we were both dumbstruck..didn't know what to say or do..then we exchanged numbers..I asked him first if he was seeing someone and he said no..I wasn't either..so we talked on the phone etc, started going out. It's amazing what 10 years can do to someone..lol..He still kept my love letters..oh my god!!..lol

We had changed so much as individuals. I have made something of myself and he's a real loser...that I could never possibily imagine myself having a long term relationship with. Not my type of guy at all. But I am glad I had the chance to see him for what he really was without the rose tinted glasses. My "what if" thing completely diminished..Things happen for a reason. And that was the reason. I am a totally different person..
LK is right..negativity is not a good thing..everyone has negative moments, if they don't, they are lying or are not human! However, life is full of positive and negatives. Balance is the key to life....(I sound like a bloody libra!)

Well this guy definately has issues.....hard to read and even though he says he is easy going.....not.....no wonder he is still single....ok I know I am still single but I really haven't been looking....he has been looking for quite some time.....I am sure there is a correlation.....cause he is so up and down....

You ask him a question and he doesn't answer and then he is like well you never tell me anything about you.....like I think you actually would have to ask.....lol

We obviously are from different planets.......

On a brighter note I have been talking to a leo man....seems like a sweet heart easy to understand and actually makes conversation perhaps that is the reason for all of this.....we shall see

I am glad as I think a part of me would always be pining for the cancer man and I would always be tip toeing around him if ever I saw him.....now no problem so there is a silver lining 🙂

So here is a update......

So we have still been keeping in touch....its been about 2 weeks....almost every second day....I just ask him how his day is going and I usually get a short friendly reply and he asks how I am.....well today out of the blue he instant messages me....never done that before in fact I was beginning to think he wasn't interested....anyway he says its pub night somewhere and should be good people watching....I kinda just say yes its fun people watching....yadda yadda.....anyway we talked for about a hour....he seems to be opening up a bit it was enjoyable.....

Can't quite figure him out but am enjoying the ride.....trying to go with the flow....

When you bob they weave....lol go figure

I sorta have to agree with LK, if your guy isn't being open then thats a HUGE RED FLAG and most likely isn't looking for a relationshp unless he's going to benefit from it in some way and his excuse to not open up because your not doing it is another red flag, he's using the well you don't do it so I don't do it projection game, its to make you put your gaurd down by doubting yourself...you go into well maybe I am being too gaurded, lemme open up a bit more, he wants you to divulge more of yourself so you can be much more easy to read and he can morph himself into what you NEED instead of being his true self, right now there is no honeymoon phase because he doesn't know enough about you to be your dream man, kudos on your part because the less he knows about you the less he can PRETEND to be that man you seek and dream about which will give him control over you and teh direction the relationship is going, so things are very slow because he can't pretend or be fake, its very important to not reveal too much in the beginning stages, it prevents you from being an easy mark

If the guy has issues NOW he will have them later, best to figure out if he's really worth it, if you had to walk away once then you will have to do it again, assholes remain assholes, men don't change that easily unless he hits rock bottom and even then he has to be 10 feet under rock bottom to change, it has to be really badx's a million for him to change...

I tend to believe men that are like yours are hiding a lot of emotional and mental baggage, very very hard to be in a relationship with these kind of men wanna know all your issues as to gain the upper hand, they are wishy washy, elusive and vague about everything, its like you really can't know him because then you would RUN away and he know it so he hides all the bad stuff and waits to unleash the beast once your hooked...tread carefully

I agree with everything you are saying.....he is trying to find out what makes me tick....I think he does have issues but right now don't know what they could be....past hurt....mother complex hard to figure out.....before I throw in the towel I do want to see if it is worth pursuing....not sure at this point

I think that he will continue to dole out tiny tidbits to keep me interested and believing that he is interested.....well my momma didn't raise a idiot....and I am going to keep my guard up.......

Words are just words.....actions are what counts....thanks for the advice it is appreciated

its like you really can't know him because then you would RUN away and he know it so he hides all the bad stuff and waits to unleash the beast once your hooked...tread carefully

LOL! OMG Tikki you are a mess! LOL!

Yes its a puzzle, he is actually quite funny and he has been initiating contact, we emailed last night for 4 hours, quite attentive, bantering back and forth......its anyone's guess.......he's digging for information and I've given a little here and there.....

Your probably right about the beast thing lol....or maybe he is just a nice guy who doesn't want to get hurt again if he puts his heart out there?

I am seeing a cancer man now. It's still in the "new" phase b/c I just met him 3 days ago, and since then he has been telling me how much he likes me and cant stop thinking about me. I have NOT had a problem with this man telling me what he wants and makes sure I know that he is VERY interested by every sense. He is moving WAY to fast for me is the problem. He is wanting me to spend a few days with him, and even went out of his way getting another ticket to his work Christmas dinner!!! I am shocked at how fast he is moving, but I am AH when he looks at me, I find myself getting lost in those dreamy eyes of his, and the way he has made me feel so special, but I am afraid to move as fast as he is. He is going through a divorce and it will be final JAN 1st. His ex a Taur cheated on him after being married 8 years to her and they have a 1 yr old son together. He tells me that he did the whole ego boost with women after that and had his own woman in mind but thought she wasn't out there till I came along, and he said he isn't going to do anything to mess it up. Is it because I am a challenge to him? Could all these romantic things he is doing be true? Are they really this out spoken? Someone please give me some advice I so need it and fast!

I am seeing a cancer man now. It's still in the "new" phase b/c I just met him 3 days ago, and since then he has been telling me how much he likes me and cant stop thinking about me. I have NOT had a problem with this man telling me what he wants and makes sure I know that he is VERY interested by every sense. He is moving WAY to fast for me is the problem. He is wanting me to spend a few days with him, and even went out of his way getting another ticket to his work Christmas dinner!!! I am shocked at how fast he is moving, but I am AH when he looks at me, I find myself getting lost in those dreamy eyes of his, and the way he has made me feel so special, but I am afraid to move as fast as he is. He is going through a divorce and it will be final JAN 1st. His ex a Taur cheated on him after being married 8 years to her and they have a 1 yr old son together. He tells me that he did the whole ego boost with women after that and had his own woman in mind but thought she wasn't out there till I came along, and he said he isn't going to do anything to mess it up. Is it because I am a challenge to him? Could all these romantic things he is doing be true? Are they really this out spoken? Someone please give me some advice I so need it and fast!