Aries female and Cancer Male

I am an aries female and I've been besotted with a cancerian male for over a year now!

Usually, Leo males just fall onto my lap (apparently leo+aries have the best compatibility) but I dated one for 4 years and want change!

I've never met a cancer male before and I just don't know what to do!

We are both incredibly shy, its been said that we both like each other yet when together we are in complete denial.

We are very similar in character.

Its crazy! What is the way to winning over a cancer males heart—??

I find him incredibly mysterious and the physical attraction is off the scale! I also like his flaws.

Help!

Aw thanks crabluvr. I have had a little look earlier. It is encouraging to know that he carries the typical cancer traits.

What's there to figure out? Just be up front and be yourself. 😉

Do you know what, I am so happy I found this messageboard! It has helped me to understand my situation a lot more! And more importantly, it has given me a lot of advice about cancer males.

Sometimes I feel that being an Aries, is the reason to the complications I face with him at the moment. I am so used to being and getting things in a certain way, without having to lift a finger.

Cancer males seem to require a lot more then that. They seem a lot more fragile and sensitive.

I only hope now that I can give my cancer male the right signs that he needs to know, that I do actually like him. Instead of ignoring him and acting like I hate him. How wrong have I been!

Hopefully he can give me those definate signs in return!

I don't have much to lose, or do I..

tankgirl, don't look for definite signs, aries is direct (rams), cancer is indirect (crabs about) - if you can manage to meet midway with both these traits, then it'll be great --- otherwise, the directness and indirectness will be the MAIN issue

** he (cancer friend) confessed his love at a horrible moment. didn't hear (or get) what he wanted and ran away when I tried to talk about what we had—

any further insight is appreciated **

Horrible moment? Interesting. It must've took him a lot of effort to confess just to be shot down. That's the problem with our sign.

As for you it sounds like another case of "I see him as a friend" when he sees you as something else.

As for you trying to talk to him about "what you two had" it sounds like another "we've got a great friendship going that I don't want to ruin it..."

Am I close? Or just completely wrong? =)

** tex...try she is married. the cancer is he rlong term friend. her husband cheated and her marriage is dissolving. she turned to cancer for support..he confessed his feelings. but...she is still married. **

Haha yeh way off on my end.

Yeh this is a very sticky situation at best. Sounds like the emotional support she needed got him to see a certain side. I've had that happen. It sucks. But you learn eventually. Or maybe he's been feeling this way the entire time and felt like it was time to say something? Bad timing on his end haha.

At least she's honest and at least he knows his place. Personally I'd rather have that than being strung along.

Good luck in your current situation though. I hope everything works out for the better. 🙂

sure was a nice day out today. 🙂

Wow thank you so much unusualcancer!

Your friends situation is similar. Our friends all hang out together also. Although its been 2 years that Ive known him.

'Cancer men are not black/white, yes/no, hello/goodbye..' its funny you say that, because i find this very true with this particular cancer guy. He's constantly in and out of his shell.

I hear what you are saying anyhow. Is there such thing with cancer guys, that when the ice is broken- they will loosen up? Or are they forever secretive/shy. As an aries, I like to talk. I am dead honest, open and say things without thinking. Im scared i could hurt a cancer guy, with my big mouth.

In a previous thread about cancers, I read this: 'He's afraid that if he gets close to you, u will discover that he likes you, & if you have no feelings for him, you might reject him. & once you reject him, he cannot even be friends with you anymore. That is a risk that he cannot afford to take to someone whom he loves. That is the "possibility" that a cancerian cannot face. He'd rather love the person secretly, until the person whom he loves makes a move.'

This is 100% true to my case and I feel exactly the same way.

ps, ^^I cannot speak for the how the guy feels.. what I meant was that the person who was writing that about a cancer- its exactly as what I feel as well- as an aries 🙂 and has anybody else been in that situation before?

Also my friends know for a fact that he never makes the first move EVER. A cancer trait? I also never make the first move. I always felt it to be a gentleman thing to do, to be wooed (quite old fashion and romantic like that)

🙂

I don't know crabluvr, I can relate to not wanting to give up everything you have for nothing. If you can forgive your husband for cheating, forgive him and move on away from even thinking about this Cancer man.

If he really loved you, get real you and I KNOW both that he wouldn't run from you. In FACT, I know for sure he wouldn't run from you. At the moment he told you he was in love with YOU, he knew you were vulnerable! OOOOOH, don't Cancer men smell a vulnerable woman miles away. I am TRUTHFULLY from my own personal experience think he was in love with the fact that he could not have you. You were unavailable and he really wasn't expecting you to take it so serious. Cancer men PLAY like that! Sorry but it is true!

He is avoiding you know because he has snapped back into reality and he REALIZED that YOU took his WORDS seriously. He may care for you as a friend, yes, and that will never change. You didn't hurt him as bad as YOU think YOU did, trust me. If he wanted to push it, he would tell you to LEAVE your man now and see if something more could happen between you two. He for the worst part HASN'T asked you to do that and then you started texting him and you were expecting him to express more feelings when I truly believe all he wanted to see all along were you easy prey.

Don't take it personal Scorp but Cancer men will play with your feelings like this.

krobe, i'm quoting you: "He is avoiding you know because he has snapped back into reality and he REALIZED that YOU took his WORDS seriously. He may care for you as a friend, yes, and that will never change. You didn't hurt him as bad as YOU think YOU did, trust me.[...] Don't take it personal Scorp but Cancer men will play with your feelings like this."

Now all of a sudden Cancers play games!And they talk shit, and never mean what they say especially when it comes to feelings.My head is spinning, seriously!All the cancer guys over here are examples of quite the opposite behavior - ellidyr just posted on another thread the way he (as a cancer guy) sees things and frankly he's right at least on one point he makes - ladies, you only know half the story (from crabluvr's point of view) so your interpretation might as well be way off!Truth is, no one can say for sure what crabluvr's cancer guy is feeling or thinking.Whatever it is, i'm hoping for the best for you crabluvr!Don;t forget to listen to your intuition too 🙂

No offense crabluvr but I don't really see what your point is in all this, you are married and have NO intentions of leaving that marriage or severing business ties so what exactly do you want from dxp? I mean so what if he feels love for you its not completely hard to do, a person loving an unavailable person, he's clearly realized he crossed the line and has chosen to go away and not get involved with a married woman and you seem staunch on keeping your life style and wouldn't think of letting any of it go so why exactly do you care about all this?

Wouldn't it be easier just to get a new lawyer preferable female thus you won't put yourself in the line of fire of another mans unsolicited feelings. Just seems your looking for an escape from reality but thats ok as long as you know what your doing

crabluvr chill out, I haven't qouted anything with or towards you, this is my first time posting on on this thread, I asked you a question based on what you wrote and for the record I still don't know why your here and what you want considering your judging your husband for being with what you call a skank yet your acting like one by chasing a man while married, might wanna come off that pedestal and check yourself. If you took the time to show your hubby all that good stuff you show cancer man maybe hubby would give you his loyalty again and wouldn't feel like touching skanks and tend to the one he has at home

Its safe sharing feelings with you, your stuck and you aint going nowhere due to your greed and need to have a great material life, which is ok and is totally your business but you really need to calm down, I have no hate towards you and I don't care if your cancer loves or hates you which he will when he realizes your a complete dead end and will never give up that life to be with him so enjoy it while it last because when he goes in that shell it will be indefinite once he realizes he's being completely played so again enjoy enjoy enjoy

stick around, you will be crashing like an addict in 2 weeks tops crashing like a crack head or heroine addict, chasing cancer man for more love and whining about why mr cancer isn't talking to you anymore, keep on being a dream chaser, men love women like you, pain freaks and he will bring the pain...just wait and see

good luck with that and yeah go back and read what you wrote, it doesn't take much to read what you say but now your back peddling as if you never said certain things and you say don't listen to us, hell you don't even read what you write none the less listen to yourself.

I don't have to hate because I help and thats all I do, you come here spewing all your business as if you have a huge dilemma which is chasing a man while married, if you have a problem with me lets deal with it via email, I don't know how old you are but your acting really really immature, I asked you a question and you came at me as if I know you and care what you do with your cancer, its your business, I could care less if you are in love, not in love, married, its your life and I could care less...incessive texting AFTER a man that has set a boundary and says to leave him alone is chasing...just an fyi

" i do still love him....maybe we r masochistic

also, why can't you cancer men not return calls, texts or emails

i am representing numerous girls that are infatuated with cancer b

attraction. Let me state I am a very loyal person and cheating on my husband never entered my mind. When my hubby's lies came out a few months ago and i told my friend. He told ME he was "IN" love with me. That was when I kissed him (Yes, i know this was wrong) I immediately told him I could not be with him until my marriage was over and that even then I would need to stand alone and get my head straight before entering a relationship with anyone) I also told him I did not want to F up our friendship and that we may hurt each other. I pushed him away and hurt HIM! When I tried to talk to get together with him to talk he closed up and ran into his shell. So ya, I seek answers. Even if we are never together, I know I LOVE him it is not a rebound thing.

fair enough leokitten- i am the strongest person i know. i am fine, again ur concern for me is touching. acceptance is not a problem for me. i said i needed to get my head straight not my heart. i did not ever consider a relationship with my cancer friend (ok maybe an occasional daydream, he is completely charming) until his confession of love. but, i crushed him with my response to his actions. i saw this when i looked into his eyes. i just want to be able to talk this out with him. so now i am hurting because i hurt him.
"

Thats ALL you and thats not the half of your obsession, ALL your words so all this BS attacking people on the boards and accusing us of I don't know what is part of your insanity over this man

I never talked shit to you and if you ASSUMED I had how mature could it have been to answer the questions or refuse to answer and say you felt I was being offensive in some way, I simply ASKED you a question and you could have made it clear for me to step off due to how you felt, if you look at any of my post I never have a problem apologizing to anyone here and have made it known my tone is harsh.

I have went through your post and you KISSED this man first and you chased him AFTER you told him you needed space and you no matter how you put ARE STILL MARRIED so again please stop with all this BS, no one is attacking you, well I'm not. Now its 3 text ok crabluvr do your thing, your inconsistent at best are all over the place and the funny part about it all is none of this necessary, all this calling people out because your cancer fed you some love today after chasing him is ridiculous

Bring the beast sweetie, none of us here are scared, lets do this, I have no problem showing you how a real woman conducts herself

My point of view isn't talking shit, me calling you a skank is LOL

YET THOSE WERE YOUR WORDS not mine, you said you weren't equipped to leave, wasn't sure and if you go back and read what you wrote you will see that YOU said all this not me. You made so many excuses about why you can't leave so I got the picture that wasn't an option, no divorce proceedings, no moving forward with separation means no divorce, YOU SAID it wasn't easy and things aren't black and white and I'm talking shit...yeah I got a bit peeved and called you a skank, I will apologize when I cool off but right now skank stands d:

"again u don't have this figured out. cancer works for me, my company! husband is involved with the company. my career IS high profile! I would have to disolve the business (including all current dealings) if I divorce my husband and get with my attorney!!! Or else how would that look from the outside? ya guilty!!! so there r things that would need to happen before me and my friend could be "together" things just r not as easy as u assume"

I hit a nerve and thats why you feel i'm talking shit, so I'm not going to argue with you on this, I was talking shit, it is what you think it is but that wasn't my intentions

Ladies take what works for you and ditch the rest, thats all these boards are about, NO ONE can tell you how to conduct your life in the end its up to you to decide whats good treatment and bad treatment and its up to you take it or leave it.

no one here is 100% and you will know in your heart whats right for you and wrong...this woman is chasing down words of love and she will be right back here when crying as she once was about why her cancer ignores her, right now she is filled with up with this euphoric high because he gave her some attention today but watch closely and you will find her right back here looking for support and that magic word to open him back up again.

You can all have what you want but don't settle and thats the message most of us here give...this is a person that isn't divorced, scared to sever ties with her husband due to losing money and clout and falling for her homie lover friend whom wasn't talking to her up until today.

Heed a word of caution from this chick, she's GONE, mind is BLOWED, no one has done anything to this woman and she just flipped the hell out...

Honey, Crabluvr,

ALL I can say is I wish you the best of luck! Get some tissue and start shedding some tears NOW, if you think your Cancer man is going to stoop to being YOUR REBOUND? Um, you better think again. You will be very LONELY waiting for him to be A SECOND CLASS MAN! We are talking a man with exquisite taste in women!

I will show some compassion toward your situation because I have been in your shoes with a similar situation! Just don't get your hopes up high! I have heard the same story from a Cancer man and I had the SAME "intense" feelings you are having right now! It is going to backfire! If your Cancer man wanted you, he would NOT feed you crumbs of attention. I KNOW your gut level feelings have the best of you right now. I "feel you" trust.

Right now darling, you are unavailable! Unavailable women are the most ATTRACTIVE women on the planet. Why? Because a man can play that GAME with you because he doesn't have to COMMIT! His out clause (once he leaves your arse) is YOUR MARRIED!

Yeah, your Cancer man will come and feed you attention (crumbs) because he is aware YOU'RE UNHAPPY and YOU'RE miserable with your marriage right now. He is actually TREATING YOU WORST than YOUR OWN husband. If you were really TRUE to yourself, and you were REAL as you say you are-YOU WOULD NOT SIT UP PRETENDING and acting FAKE about your CANCER MAN pulling away from YOU didn't hurt your arse and cause YOU PAIN! IT WAS A LOW BLOW and YOU KNOW IT WAS. It gets better; he is going to KEEP doing it! LOL!

BUT BECOME HIS FULL RESPONSIBILITY with your low self esteem and NEEDY behavior and you think his arms are going to be open? Yeah, his arms will be open but YOU won't be in them. His arse, YES YOUR CANCER man is going to bounce on you so quick. You think he is running in his shell NOW! You just wait honey!

I wish you the best. I am just trying to let you know, I have been there done that! You would probably do better forgiving your husband and letting YOUR husband work it out with you. Oh girl, if you leave your husband for your CANCER man, you think your heart is broken NOW! He will NEVER trust YOU!