Betrayal

So I ask myself why, why on earth would you lie and smear your best friends name? I know these two guys, supposed 'close' friends, ones a cancer and the others a libra. i read somewhere on this board about another libra lying to a cancer... im wondering if that happens a lot. My cancer friend has a lot of trust issues and i told him once i don't enjoy hearing how his friends talk crap about him and that he should do something about it. he told me to forget it and that he doesnt care what they say... but i wonder if thats just his way of dealing. very quite and reserved kinda guy, doesnt let anyone in on his real emotions.

His libra friend recently imformed me my cancer friend called me easy and has bragged about our past history. Now normally this would'nt bother me, but this is my ex and im very defensive of the treatment of my ex's by others. i kno hes straight up lying, but i dont kno how to tell my cancer bud the info without seeming like a dick. i don't like getting in the middle of friends, but am i wrong to wanna let him kno? i doubt he'll listen, just because the last time i tried telling him his friends are dirty he wrote it off with 'i dont care what they think', but still it's kinda bothering me.

don't worry bout it. i think, even if your cancerian friend seemed unaffected by it, secretly he would have take into account of what u have told him into consideration. Cancerians will never let people know what they think, & they also do not like to stir shit. But, he will be ultra careful in future, when dealing with this libra.

at the flip side, u have to also use your own judgement, & analyse if the libra was lying. perhaps, there could be some truth in it, but it was being exaggerated, or distorted...we don't know. Eventually, libra or cancerian, they are MAN! Man's talk, u know...

you might want to subtly suggest to him, for example, "hm...he told me..blah blah blah...BUT, I don't believe him at all." that kinda thing. Most of the time, I think the cancerian will not confront the person. He'll just stop placing trust on him, that's all.

2 cents worth.

thanks, like the only reason i kno he was lying is, from the cancers i met (this one included) ironically even tho you're considered the most emotional sign. the cancers i've met tend to keep everything in. since he basically dont consider just anyone a friend, he rarely opens up to anyone, thats why it seems outlandish. but yes men are men, but why is it that you would keep a person around when u kno u cant really trust them? he has a lot of friends that hes told me he doesnt trust, yet hangsout with them all the time. doesnt that seem like an oximoron?

phonenix, the world of cancer, if not all, at least for myself, is complex. We are born sceptics. Let me explain, from my own perspective, which I hope will shed some lights, though I hope you don't take my perspective to represent the cancerians.

Hanging out with friends are merely socialising. A friend who talks bad about you, doesn't mean that he cannot be useful in other ways. For me, I don't size a person as entirely bad just because 1 particular aspect of his personality is undesirable. No one is perfect.

Personally, I had experienced before, with my best friend & my ex. My ex. told me that my best friend talked bad about me in front of her. & yet, I still buddy with best friend. I listened, & reflect. I don't make comments. Deep down, I know there's somethings I will never trust with this best friend. However, there are things I will still share. Because, there were times, when my best friend stood up for me when I met some obstacles in life, & it was my best friend, & not my ex who was there for me.

In short, we will absorb all the information people provide. However, decision on what to do, how to react, no one can influence. We need time process the information gathered, & weight the situation so as to make the best out of every situation. No one can fit your shoes as well as your own feet.

We are no oxymorons. On the surface, yes. Deep inside, we have done all the necessary analysis & calculation on the person, & the situation.

I think it was a great misunderstanding of the cancerians that they are illogical, emotional & irrational. The thing is, a cancerian needs time & space to think & analyse a situation, to make the best decision. Hence, when it comes to romantic affairs, which demands more of an impromptu expression of affection, a cancerian is caught, because he has no time to think & react. Hence, the usual reaction is to withdraw & think.

However, if it has nothing to do with emotional matters, a cancerian can usually handle better.

I don't think the Libra is lying, actually. This person knows you will most likely bring it up to the Cancer, so if it weren't true, they would have to be a moron to say anything in the first place.

Cancer men, when around other men, can be very arrogant and chauvinistic. In fact, I've heard several at work bragging about conquests and sharing very detailed descriptions. I think you should call him out on it and inform him it better never happen again. If it were me, he'd have a stiletto up his ass.

''Cancer men, when around other men, can be very arrogant and chauvinistic. In fact, I've heard several at work bragging about conquests and sharing very detailed descriptions. ''

This is because they want to appear as strong and macho towards other men. Its a competition thing within the male species. Men brag and exaggerate. As females show off to their friends about stuff. Its human nature.

However, if it is a woman that a Cancer male truley respects - he will NOT talk badly of her. In fact - he wont talk about her at all. He wants to keep her HIS secret.

Anyway, with regards to your situation, the Cancer Male is weary. He knows whats going on - but that doesnt mean he will SHOW it. He knows a lot more than you think he does about the situation.

With Cancer men - having close, trustworthy friends is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT to him having 'friends' to socialise with. They are very Private and only let very few into their shell.

Hmm thanks for the insight everyone, very informative. I've definately seen the 'They are very Private and only let very few into their shell.' only because i've met his actual best friends, and even tho very few and sometimes very far apart he will never speak badly of them. I'd kinda like to consider myself one of the closest people to him, considering ever since we started being friends again hes been very protective over me. He definately informed me his friends would talk shit, because they're not his closest friends, but even still i never quite understood why you'd have people around you didnt trust.

FF, definately shed some light on that subject matter, i kinda have a friend i dont entirely trust, but she has been there when i needed. i actually havent spoken about the subject to the cancer, i'm kinda used to seeing libra's with double motives and havent decided what to do with my new found info. i just kinda find myself at a loss, you're right he probably knows more than i believe him to, but how far does that really go? the reason i believe the guys lying is because, why would someone who doesnt consider you to be that close share information about another person whom you always kept tight liped about. his friend once told me he told him he was going to see some girl, the next day it so happened that i ran into the libra and started chatting n mentioned i had seen the cancer the night b4. the libra's complaints are 'every time he says something he does something different', which is aparently why he felt to share info with me and stated 'why should i be loyal to someone who cant make up there mind and quite frequently changes there opinion'. that totally sounded like bs, but whaever.

In any case i havent said a word to either persons, and not really planing to until i figure out what to do with this information. loyalty is huge for me so obviously since im not sure who to trust i stand back and watch. a libra once attemtped to manipulate me, im not interested in falling into that trap. whats the best way to handle this? call him out on it, or watch it unroll from the side lines? if my hunch is right the libra might unroll it himself by asking the cancer what happened to me. not sure.

didn't read the all posts but i will say libra's are notorious liars..they lie about anything and everything. i am a cancer and one of my best friends is a libra and that guy can't go 5 minutes without lying..lol. i call him out all the time and can see through his lies once they come out of his mouth. so now he is careful about what he says when we hang out cause i tell him i dont have time for his bs..lol

My ex is libre and y'all have described her to a 'T'. I never called her on the things unless it was something major but then she was quick to bring other things into the 'discussion' to try and redirect it. I got tired of the BS and came back to the States.
She thought that everyone needed to believe in her and only her. What ever she said was not to be questioned. The sad thing about it was that it could've been stopped when she was younger if her parents would've done something about it. Now they still let her get away with it w/out a word. At first I thought I was losing my mind but realized that in order to maintain peace I'd just go ahead with whatever she was saying just to keep my sanity. But then again, she had other issues that contributed to it.

yea one of my best friends is a libra and she has a history of saying things that seem a little far fetched. and the others have a tendancy to bs but at the same time they arent huge lies. i just feel insulted that someone would make another person seem like an ass when they're really not. like i've met a libra who once tried to maniuplate me.... i saw through it and flipped the entire thing around. i just dont wanna tell the cancer about it and get shot at for it, and i dont wanna walk in a 'would be trap'. like what if he wants me to tell the cancer? what if hes looking for some crap to go down for some alterior motive... not sure. its difficult to find out the end reasoning, but at the same time how do you just let something like that slide?

I think you need to ask the following questions: How much do you really believe that the 'cancer' really trusts and respects you (your opinion)? And finally, does it really bother you about what was said by the libra?

If it doesn't bother you, leave it alone and it will go away. He'll be surprised that you didn't say anything to him or the cancer and will throw him off guard. He wont know what to do next and will probably think it isn't worth trying something again. (If he does, than do the next suggestion)

If you believe in your relationship with the cancer, than I'd call out the libra IN FRONT of the cancer. This may shock the cancer if it's true but then you'd know if your trust is/was well placed. This will also shock the libra and put him on notice that you and cancer are thick as thieves and there is nothing that he could do to break that.

This is a tough situation and I hope you get it resolved because it seems like it's eating you up.

thanks bilal, i think if the circumstances are where i end up hanging around the two of them, i might actually confront the libra in front of the cancer... that'll definately be a shocker. but definately gonna stay low key. and yea it has been eating me up, cuz my natural instincts are to make sure my friends ok, and when somethings off i feel its my duty as a friend to protect them. i mean he'd do the same for me and has for a long time. he's (cancer) been there for me through all my good and bad times. i feel i owe him that at least, if it turns out my faith has been mislead... then at least it's no longer in the dark and i'll go from there.