Broken heart

So first off i'd like to say i'm in love!

Now the problem.... I hurt the man i truly loved in the worst way possible, hes a cancer boy with a really big heart.

I went to a party last night and got really drunk for my bff's birthday. she just turned 21 and we got sooo wasted last night off of jello shots and strong margarita's! so yea my guy left early because it was greek easter so i stayed at the party drinking away with my gf, and she just so happened to invite an ol guy friend of mine. so whatever the night goes on, in short somehow i end up making out with this guy and then my guy comes back and sees the guys arms around me. I walk off cuz i really had to go to the bathroom, the guy follows me in and says 'we need to talk', so he goes on confessing how he regrets turning me down a yr ago and he wants a relationship now blah blah blah (btw im single).

aparently in 'drunk' time i thought 10 min passed while im trying to get this guy to calm down, it turns out it was actually an hr i had been in there. my guy leaves and i end up histerically crying for the rest of the evening. i've been trying to get with my guy for... what seems like forever. i hurt him when i was much younger (like 6 yrs ago we dated) and i kno i hurt him last night. i dont kno what to do, i just couldnt stop crying and like he said today (via txt) that he was looking to get into a relationship with me (last month he told me he didnt want one so i put my feelings away) and i dont kno what his opinion is now.

i dont wanna lose him and im going crazy i need to talk to him and i've been crying all day can somebody give me some advice, i love this man so much and just one stupid moment because i was so drunk.... i just wanna die.

First of all, bff is such an immature and lame expression. Sorry, had to get that off my chest. Like omigod.

Second, you're probably about 21 too since that's the age of your "bff."

Third, your actions and approximate age BOTH suggest you're probably too young and immature for a serious relationship. Why fight it?

I'll tell you what mature people in love don't do. They don't go and get wasted at parties with strangers. They actually prefer to hang with their guy exclusively and instinctually shut everyone out of their lives, including their bff's.

The guy is a Cancer, so he's hip to your actions. He knows he can't trust you, and he's right.

The only one who is fighting this is you. I say you should get over him, and party it up.

Well MsP, you obviously haven't met that dude.

🙂

well..... I think that if you really loved him so much then drunk or not you wouldn't have done that.... I subscribe to the theory that people say and do what they really mean/want when they are drunk....that they act on impulses they would not if they were sober....

Bottom line is you screwed up. All you can do at this point is tell him that you want to talk to him and let him decide if he wants to talk to YOU.

angelfish i'd normally agree with your theory, but this time i seriously dont know what happened. I completely acknowledge the fact that i lost control and did something horribly stupid. uck, im just killing myself here i cant sleep my whole bodies going into over drive, im making myself sick. i just dont wanna be overwhelming and throw the world at his shoulders. last time i let my emotions run their coarse he ended up calling me a nut bag. but yea ur probably right, i gotta wait for him to come to me, but my nerves wont calm down.

as a cancer male i will say he probably lost trust in you and when we lose trust in someone it takes forever to gain that trust back if at all..i hate to be a downer but that is just how we operate. in the meantime don't push the issue cause i can tell you right now all sorts of things are running through his head. let him have time to absorb it all and when he has thought everything out he will either reappear or will have decided all the drama isn't worth it and move on. no matter what you do the ball is in his court right now. did i forget we are also a stubborn bunch..lol

Anyway good advice on how to handle the situation is greatly appreciated.

Cansir i am VERY well aware of his stubborn nature, now hes putting emo music on his page and the songs called 'made of scars'..ugh i just wanna shoot myself. i wrote him a letter that i'll probably send out by friday if he doesnt respond me to me. gonna txt me later today just letting him kno i still wanna talk. i stated in the letter how many times hes rejected me and told me theres no way of a relationship happening, and yet here he is saying there would be or that he thought there was. its been so difficult for me to hold bad my emotions and not become attached (obviously i am) and just 'hang around'. its like u say u didnt want me and i kept that in mind, i understand why ur hurting but what else was i to think?

yea i've gotta talk to him and figure all that out, its just so darn confusing. he said no several times and now hes saying he thought we were? what am i supposed to think? he says he loves me when hes in someway intoxicated and how am i supposed to take that?

well looks like i finally got him to open up, i was patient and let him kno i was still around when and if he wanted to talk. invited me over, we talked and he said we went a couple steps back to where we were 4 months ago. hes been going crazy for the past 48 hrs not talking to me, so im happy to say we've not over yet, but as it was said we have some fixing to do. he says im just as stubborn as he is (but i find it cute!), and that he knows im far to thick skulled to give up. so if i didnt mind the wait, we'll figure everything out all over again. yay!

What a loser, that non-BF bf of yours that is.