CANCER LOVE behavior is CONFUSING - please HELP!

How do cancer males behave when falling for someone? do they detach themselves and become shy after becoming intimate? do they lecture the girl because they "care" about her for hours on end about everything that she needs to do different in her life when up to that point he voiced no problems about her or her life style at all? does he want to remain "friends" when a love relationship is no longer possible due to moving out of state? the friend thing is very hard for me because i'm a scorpio and fell fast for this guy. the first time i laid eyes on him i knew we were compatible!!! please help - i've read dxpnet in the past to try and understand this cancer guy and i'm really hoping you guys and girls can shed even more light for me on these complex creatures!!!

Hmmm... It all depends on what type of Cancer he is (I, II, III or cusp) and the planets that influence him (Moon, Venus, etc). I've dated several Cancers that were totally different in the way that they approach relationships and it also depends on what time of life that they're in. One Cancer I dated took things a little too fast for me because he was interested in having a family, like, YESTERDAY. The other one was disillusioned because of an ex and wanted to take things slow, but got jealous when I was out with other guys (I'm the type of Aqua that will tell you that I'm going to be dating others while you make up your mind). The one that I'm in love with now is upfront about how he feels and everything, but it took a bit of time for him to get comfy w/me to do that.
In my experience, they get BOLDER after getting intimate if they've made a decision to really be with you. If not, it means they're still thinking about it or they're not serious at all. And Cancers can lecture friends - he may care, but that has nothing to do with them falling in love - they're just helpful creatures overall.
From the outside looking in, you have to let him move out of state if he feels he needs to do that or he'll blame you for being too clingy or cut his "dreams" off. Give him space (I know it's hard). I gave mine several years of space and here he is back on my doorstep with no effort. If you're meant to be, it will happen - in universe's timing, not yours.

Thank you so much for your response AquariusDiva!!! Does this help: He is a 3rd decan Cancer, Gemini moon and Cancer Venus. He has already moved and I completely supported it because it was in his best interest. Ugh, i don't know if I can wait several years...

thank you for your reply KittyKnitter!! i was hoping his odd behavior might be indicative of his sideways nature or fear of rejection, but i won't know for sure unless i ask him. he did make a remark over my visit saying that he doesn't trust any women. since i don't trust easily either i understood, but was sad as well because i didn't know how i could prove to him that he could trust me. how can i succeed where other women have failed? i'm not a superhero! so, how do you know so much about cancer behavior? are you a cancer? any further advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

I'm not sure if you have ever read up on him, but I tend to read a bunch about planets so that I can get a better picture of the person. For your Cancer, you said he's emotionally (Moon) a Gemini and "in love" a Cancer (Venus).

Read about how he is in love (Venus) here: http://cafeastrology.com/articles/venuscancercompatibility.html<BR>
and read about his inner emotions (Moon) and how he relates to your emotions here: http://cafeastrology.com/moonsigncancercompatibility.html<BR>
I know that *years* is not the optimal for you. I TRULY TRULY hope it doesn't take that long for you! It was my choice to walk away and I did it not knowing if we were ever going to see each other again. I had to make peace with that at the time. I usually tell my friends that "they always come back" even if it's just to see how you're doing. All my exes check up on me because they know I'm a good woman, and he was no exception. So, we just so happened to be single at the same time a couple years later and the decision has been made - we both know what we want now and how we want things to go. So, I'm only saying to allow yourselves room to think, to breathe, and let him do his sideways Cancer walk. 🙂

Posted by AquariusDiva
I'm not sure if you have ever read up on him, but I tend to read a bunch about planets so that I can get a better picture of the person. For your Cancer, you said he's emotionally (Moon) a Gemini and "in love" a Cancer (Venus).

Read about how he is in love (Venus) here: http://cafeastrology.com/articles/venuscancercompatibility.html<BR>
and read about his inner emotions (Moon) and how he relates to your emotions here: http://cafeastrology.com/moonsigncancercompatibility.html<BR>
I know that *years* is not the optimal for you. I TRULY TRULY hope it doesn't take that long for you! It was my choice to walk away and I did it not knowing if we were ever going to see each other again. I had to make peace with that at the time. I usually tell my friends that "they always come back" even if it's just to see how you're doing. All my exes check up on me because they know I'm a good woman, and he was no exception. So, we just so happened to be single at the same time a couple years later and the decision has been made - we both know what we want now and how we want things to go. So, I'm only saying to allow yourselves room to think, to breathe, and let him do his sideways Cancer walk. 🙂

i read those sites AquariusDiva, but i do have a question for you. should i read the link for Cancer moon as he has a Gemini moon? i wasn't sure because the link you provided was for Cancer moon...if you think it beneficial to read about Cancer moon and it's compatibility i will!!

oh, i totally see what you are saying, and i also believe that if the people love you they will come back to you. One of my favorite quotes is "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."

i would like to think i'm a good woman and my exes will find me later in life. i think part of my problem in not sustaining a lasting relationship is my need for space. i tend to be very selfless in dealing with people i love whereas i think other people are much more selfish and think of only making themselves happy. so when i act selfless and tell them to, for instance, move or do whatever they need to do to follow their dreams, they don't get that i'm just trying to support them, they feel like, well, she must not care for me that much if she is willing to let me go without fighting for me. perhaps i'm not making any sense, b

If he has a Gemini moon then you read about the Gemini moon. He is a Cancer in Sun sign but his emotions are Gemini. I have a moon in Gemini and my brother always tells me that when I get emotional, then I act like a Gemini. I'm never an Aquarius in my emotional state. Matter of fact, when I get upset, it's because I'm swayed by some outside force. Gemini is a mutable sign and I sway easily to the emotions of others. It is crazy and I can't even help it!

You are making a LOT of sense. One of my closest friends and my sister are both Scorpios. My sister is actually with a man that she dated decades ago before she got married and after she became a widow he came back into her life and they're happy together. I think that whenever you're allowing people to do what they need to do to follow their dreams, you need to let them know that you're doing that BECAUSE you care, not because you don't. Their response is their responsibility.

Plus, check out the compatibility between your moon and his (and your Venus and his) because that will show you the dynamics of your relationship and you respond to each other. It will help if you know how you react to certain situations instead of going in blind.

Posted by AquariusDiva
If he has a Gemini moon then you read about the Gemini moon. He is a Cancer in Sun sign but his emotions are Gemini. I have a moon in Gemini and my brother always tells me that when I get emotional, then I act like a Gemini. I'm never an Aquarius in my emotional state. Matter of fact, when I get upset, it's because I'm swayed by some outside force. Gemini is a mutable sign and I sway easily to the emotions of others. It is crazy and I can't even help it!

You are making a LOT of sense. One of my closest friends and my sister are both Scorpios. My sister is actually with a man that she dated decades ago before she got married and after she became a widow he came back into her life and they're happy together. I think that whenever you're allowing people to do what they need to do to follow their dreams, you need to let them know that you're doing that BECAUSE you care, not because you don't. Their response is their responsibility.

Plus, check out the compatibility between your moon and his (and your Venus and his) because that will show you the dynamics of your relationship and you respond to each other. It will help if you know how you react to certain situations instead of going in blind.

AquariusDiva, THANK YOU SO MUCH for your help!! it has truly helped me a lot!! ah, another gemini moon - so you can probably get where he is coming from! i'm actually a sag rising, aries moon so i have a lot of fire in my chart. but i'm a scorpio venus retrograde so that may be giving me some problems. i think the sag rising may be why i always let people go and have their space, i definitely have a need for personal space and freedom in relationships. i HATE to feel controlled by people and i think that is why i relate so much to that quote by Khalil Gibran i posted earlier, it resonates with me for sure!

i tend to become very good friends with aquarius people, both male and female, so i'm not suprised that i get a lot of what you are saying! do you think that's my sag rising because scorps and aquarians aren't supposed to be all that compatible?

See, THIS is wondering about human nature/his behavior. Not the other thread. The other makes you sound like an obsessed teenager.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
See, THIS is wondering about human nature/his behavior. Not the other thread. The other makes you sound like an obsessed teenager.

haha, i'm not an obsessed teenager and i'm happy that you can see that now rockroadicecream! 🙂

LOL! Yes, I think it might be the Sag rising, but I tend to get along with nearly anyone and I'm able to "chameleonize" (not a word, yes I know!) because I study people and how they learn/understand and interact. I usually watch first, analyze and spit out an answer based on past and research.
Your Scorp is truly not to be controlled. I know my sis & friend are like that, but in a nice way. They will go about their business talking under their breath (and it's so funny to me!) or they'll sweetly sting the person that's overstepping their boundaries. Killing w/kindness I guess? lol!
Plus, if Scorps & Aquas really know themselves, they will give each other space as needed. I tend to get along w/female Scorps but find the majority of the male Scorps I know to be borderline jerks. Sexy, confident borderline jerks, LOL!

Someone today told me that I'm not supposed to get along w/Cancers, but my fave cousins growing up were Cancers as well as the guy I'm with. It's all in the astrological DNA :-)