Cancer man broke me up totally...

Hi i am an aries and in love with a cancer man(ex)we had a close relationship for 7 months and he was totally in love with me(hope he still does). He wanted me to meet his parents by this month and was planning to get married. He is 5 years older than me,i thought he was taking it too fast which i was honest about it. I am girl with bad experience in past relationship (very very bad)so this time i was careful with this man because the pain i went through in each relation was exhausting.. however i found him the best in all and everything...very sweet and caring like no other man. for the first time i felt like being in a real relationship.Was ready to compromise that come to my way,however we had this argument one night,he was soooo!angry like never before. I don't know the reason still which kills me,feeling guilty day and night. The reason i somehow assume that was regarding his family which i would never do!!(swear to god!!!)and yes even he knows that. Also he has the habit of using some logic and all which i still don't get. He interrupts me whenever i speak and never let me explain or talk. I knew he was going through some problems,yes also i wont deny it i made many mistakes too but i didn't know how to handle it, his emotions in proper way.He even blamed me for his failure ( to which i don't agree >😢 ) He said so many harsh things to me which still rings in my ear and makes me unhappy...he said about my personality and ambition in a negative way which totally made me feel like a selfish person who is worthless and lives in alice in wonderland.It has dampen my confidence and spirit,what i see now in front of me is blank!! The truth is i really felt we were something together,i am trying to move on,its been like a month we are not in contact.This is our first bad fight, trust me i read all the posts in yahoo and dxp to some how comfort myself and to reach the answers. i also got some great advises from few people that i posted in somebody's thread. I am sorry i am new here and just wanted to share it.All i wanted from him was to spend some time outside his office not inside 😢.I also like other couples, wanted to hang out,late night dinner and movie which we did only at the begining.i wanted some excitement. He thought i was being selfish and needy. If we ever talk in future i just wanted to say to him every couple fight! we are not the only one here. p.s he doesn't even know what all i have compromised for him all this while.

You need to let him calm down before you even approach him, us cancerians sulk and brood over things, and if we feel we have been done wrong we won't talk Neil we are ready. I don't understand the bit about not wanting to hang out with you apart from at the office, were you officially a couple or just work together or both? It must have been something quite bad for him to sulk all this time, as we are usually quite forgiving and want to sort things. Can you explain a bit more so people can help as it doesn't make much sense what do you think he is upset about? You said his family but what?

I understand you are very upset right now, you mentioned mistakes you think you made and how the big fight had something to do with his family and he accused you of being selfish?? Please explain what exactly led to the big fight...

hi Daisey and Dafna, we used to work together,we were partners and work together. He is always busy i know his daily routine,he is the only one one who makes plans for us that too will be in office because he thought it was convenient,why to waste time outside when we can here itself in office and i just wanted to have us time doing something different because dating in office is never like dating at all. Thats why he thinks i am needy and selfish only about having fun. And about the arguement,it just got drifted to his family,i said he changes his plans about us very frequent which he only decides, what he would do and where we will shift and he this time took the decision to stay in a village,while we together agreed before to be in the city so than i can be near my family too,so i told him why are you taking your steps backward( here i used the wrong word)while it was different plan for our future before and the next all i was telling him that how i have thought about adjusting with his family and what to wear and not to,which he took in wrong sense saying that his mom is not uneducated or backward that she would mind me wearing any other clothes. I tried to explain but he wouldn't.

I remember my first bf. I hate him with every fiber of my being but luckily in some freak accident the place he was renting out with his brother burnt down. 🙂

Anyway they'll be the most sweetest and into the boyfriend role too much than act normally like a real person. He was doing med school and I just got out of 2 years nursing.

In our relationship there was this huge imbalance of him running to his Alex for advice and suggestion but he wasn't really protecting my side he was just parading around that he got himself a gf that looked more east asian than his previous gf's that looked more just like him.

He wasn't good looking but he was still nice enough to cook for me. 😄 . But what I really hated most about him was how he manipulated me then when he had me he lost interest and we broke off communication and after several months he came back to me asking for help and some 😉

I just dismissed him properly.

It's true they sulk after they've invested so much time and effort with you and then one day when your at your shittiest they'll burst the bubble and tell you off.

But hey this guy can be different he sounds serious enough. The ex was like that too but when shit got real he was gone.

i feel terrible now,because of what he thinks about me regarding his mom. This is the only thing that makes me upset the most..

Hi Kashieka 🙂 that is good to hear and Acrab lol...yea that is what said too but somehow i never felt so secured in life before,and regarding him he had his personal issues which i can't tell but yea i wasn't ready so he convinced me i can atleast meet his family,marriage can be done later in coming years.

Do you know your biggest mistake was saying that you were going to adjust your clothing for his family, he doesn't want you to be different with them, he wants them to get to know the real you he didn't want you to change so thy would like you, you'd already written them off as being disapproving before you'd even met them, and where did you get that idea from, dd you think it was because your cancer man disapproved of you somehow?

Disey...yes actually he did disapprove my clothes once and i was just being careful,may be you are right i shouldn't have. also actually he once told me an incident about his newly wed cousin and his wife. So those things made me say that. 😢

yes one more thing we belong to different culture.

I don't think he is making a huge effort in the relationship, if you guys are only hanging out at work and not going out on dates then i don't get it, is only 7 months that u guys are dating why are you getting upset with him about deciding to move somewhere else? If you guys were dating for a while and deciding to move in together then you shojld have some saying on the location, now he is just your boyfriend an he can live wherever is convenient for him. I believe you are coming on very strong and forgetting about you, he liked you, your style , your personality, why are you trying so hard to please hjm and his family— And even if you have those concerns and are trying to impress his mother, why would you bring that up in a fight? "Look at all i did for you, i changed how i dress for tour family..." If you compromise and make sacrifices for him ( he should do the same for you) you don't use what you did as a weapon to make him feel bad later, you did it because you wanted to and bc you love him...

Dafna...yeah that make sense,i agree with you. i feel so guilty 😢 i appologised many times but its like rubbing his wounds again,so now i have let go of him though i never wanted it to end atleast not this way. Anyways thanks a lot 🙂for giving me an insight.

This guy sounds controlling and selfish or maybe that's your culture that the man decides what, when and where things will happen. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't let you speak or wants to hear your opinion about things? Giving someone the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse, it would be one thing if he said "I need time to think about things" but to completely ignore you after an argument is not right, it's immature and disrespectful. He's probably expecting you to give in to him and ask for forgiveness even if you did nothing wrong. You might wanna rethink this relationship.

Hi Childofthemoon,yes i am rethinking and trying to move on.May be i will never be able to make him understand few things from my point of view. I also was wrong here in many ways but i never ignored him,i always let him explain. There were few moments when i wanted to break it of because i couldn't handle his assumptions and accusations but tried to understand him at his best when he wanted to explain but he never gave me a chance.Thinking about it irritates me sometimes and upsets me a lot.