Cancer man has me sooooo confused!

Can anyone offer some insight. I'm libra born sept 30 he's cancer June 29. We met accidentally I am going through a divorce. He was the first to pursue. And he came on very strong. Told me many deeply personal things. Told me his fears and his past relationship issues. And caused me to open up my heart to him way too quickly! I gave him many chances to back off. I made him very aware I couldn't handle gettin hurt again and please if he wasn't genuine that I hadn't been looking when he came along an just to let me go no hard feelings becaue i was starting to trust him and if he went much further he would end up hurting my feelings. He knew how I felt, said ALL the right things. Gave me reassurance and trust. He texted me probably no less than 50-100 times a day for three weeks straight. He's single, divorced twice with custody of his daughter. We did have sex. Unplanned and unexpected. We've met each other a couple times after that and just held each other or kissed. He texts me as soon as I've left from seeing him to tell me he misses me already and so much sweet stuff. He then for no reason started flaking out on omans to see each other. Ok I know he's busy but something doesn't happen every time. And then he stopped texting as much. I said something and he kept reassuring me. I mean really reassuring me. I told him I loved him and if it caused him to run off then it did but I had to be honest. He said he wasn't going anywhere. Recently my soon to be ex and I are getting close to finishin divorce and it's getting nasty. I have vented to my cancer guy which he said he was there to feel free to. He didn't want me to be alone. He wanted to protect me. Suddenly he decided to tell me until divorce was over he wanted to be friends but if I decide after I want a relationship that he's the one who wants to be in it with me. Fast forward a week and he pushing away further. I confronted and he said for now just friends. He didn't want to cloud my judgement and he prob shouldn't jump right back into it with me after divorce. He said I needed time meaning I think to see others before him. But he says you never know what the future holds. And if I need a friend to go to an event with me to tell him he will gladly go. I own my own business and frequently attend events in which a date would be nice. He said to not stop talkin to him. He was here for me and he didn't want me to be alone. I'm so confused. Is he being nice an wants me to leave him alone or is he waiting o

"He texted me probably no less than 50-100 times a day for three weeks straight."
He came on way way way too strong here. This is a major red flag. Men like this are either players or commitment phobes who can't handle a LTR. This is why you don't jump into a relationship but should let it develop slowly over time. Plus, you're going thru a hard divorce and are probably not in the right head/heart space to get into another relationship. Your best bet is to friend zone this guy for a while, get over the divorce and then see afterwards whether he's still interested and whether you're still interested too. Keep this in mind that the beginning of any relationship is lust and infatuation. He could well mean every word he said AT THE TIME. But you only get to know a person over time and it's not unusual for one or both of you to question, to get a bit scared off, to back away. Try to put all this on the back burner and focus on ending a painful chapter of your life. You might want to see a therapist to help you cope with the pain of the divorce if you're not already. Good luck, go gently on yourself and try not to expect too much from this guy you like. This is a lot for him to take on. It's a lot for you to deal with. And the timing ain't so hot here.

PS: LOL I just talked outta both sides of my mouth....he's a player/commitment phobe so friend zone him, get beyond the divorce and see how it all plays out. Well, if he is serious about you. If you aren't simply rebounding. If you're able to move beyond this together....the proof is in the pudding. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. Sorry the marriage did not work out.

Uhhhhh. Okay well honestly I think that you should back off and live your day to day life... Just like he said. Also, crabs make it easy to talk to them but honestly you can't pour alllll your feelings on them... if I were a cancer, I'd probably get really annoyed with a libra's "on the fence" attitude about everything. Maybe he feels you're on the fence about the divorce? Maybe you made him feel insecure or jealous? Who knows. I think the best thing is follow through on what he asked- stay friends till it's all over

Thank you. He has been texting me all day long as a friend......damned if you do and damned if you don't. My marriage has been over a long time. So that's not a issue for me mentally. Long story but that's not a emotional attachment. Thank you for the advice. He maintains he's not a player. He doesn't have that reputation. I've known of him for a long time. He's not dated but one girl in five years and that didn't last long. He's been alone a very long time. I know that because I'm friends with his sister. So I guess I'll just go on about my life and forget about him. It's just so hard to

You know what I can agree about on the fence. But not about divorce. I am so indecisive! It annoys me sometimes! Thanks so much for the advice 🙂

he knows what he's doing....

you may think you are fine...but you are not
you may think you are ready for a relationship...but you are not

give yourself time after the divorce if you want a healthy relationship

Lol maybe. Maybe not 🙂. I'll never tell lol. Thank you all.

I have never known a cancer man in this way before. You cancer men are very very smooth. I will give you credit for that. I for sure do not see why he has been alone for so long!

Lol nope Leo. I'm not your girl then 🙂. Mine was a sag very close to being a Scorpio. Very emotionally abusive and controlling.

I've never been one to sleep around. I spent 16 years trying to be who he wanted. He cheated not me.

Cc - i dont think that fair to all Librans. There maybe plenty out there who do that and you may have come across your fair share. But generalizing that all Librans "sleep around" when you dont know all of us seems derogatory to the rest. Anyways you are entitled to your opinion.

Helpalibra - hope things work out for you. All the best with the divorce proceedings.

Ok I wanted to update everyone. So I got some enlightening information from the cancer mans sister. The guy is a "player". Or tries to be. So with that said I'm emotionally detaching and it's game on. I'm not a player I've been hurt far too much but it's time this guy is taught a lesson and it's already starting to fall together. No he had no idea because I cut off contact fully with him and now he's posting snide things up on his Facebook directed toward me. How do I know this, he doesn't realize we have mutual friends and people happen to like me better because I'm a generous person. I try to treat people fairly and kindly, until you try to screw with me for no reason. Yes he charmed me on purpose and lied and knew my past and continued to try to charm me knowing he would hurt my feelings. I found out that he actually stalked me for a few months before "accidentally" meeting me. I am well known in my local area. I have a very public business and there fore makes me someone everyone knows. And I happened to learn upon investigation some things that creeped me out. So the guy stalks me to the point of a background check even. I never even knew who he was. And then he "accidentally" meets me. Then sweet talks the hell out of me. Lies and plays with my emotions. And them wants to string me along. I let him know I was cutting contact. Then he gets obsessive about me when he only wanted to be "friends" but still insisted I did not stop texting him and insisted if I needed a date for a event that he wanted to go as a friend. Why obsess if he only cared about being friends. Anyway I'm not a player. I'm a sweet person but this guy has went too far and needs to be brought back down to earth and this girl and her bestie are gonna do it. I'm two yrs older than him. He normally dates girls 10yrs younger than him. He hadn't seen how a real woman plays the game.

Thank you Starry I'm not a cheating sluey 🙂. I was cheated on for a entire year by my soon to be ex. I took care of everything. He never knew where the kids went the dr or daycare till our youngest was 8. Only reason he left his fling was because he caught her cheating. I was settled for. Anyway I didn't cheat while we were in a relationship together. We haven't lived together in over a year. He's been contesting this divorce. So I'm not the bad guy. I just got tired of being hurt and ended it.

Posted by Helpalibra
Ok I wanted to update everyone. So I got some enlightening information from the cancer mans sister. The guy is a "player". Or tries to be. So with that said I'm emotionally detaching and it's game on. I'm not a player I've been hurt far too much but it's time this guy is taught a lesson and it's already starting to fall together. No he had no idea because I cut off contact fully with him and now he's posting snide things up on his Facebook directed toward me. How do I know this, he doesn't realize we have mutual friends and people happen to like me better because I'm a generous person. I try to treat people fairly and kindly, until you try to screw with me for no reason. Yes he charmed me on purpose and lied and knew my past and continued to try to charm me knowing he would hurt my feelings. I found out that he actually stalked me for a few months before "accidentally" meeting me. I am well known in my local area. I have a very public business and there fore makes me someone everyone knows. And I happened to learn upon investigation some things that creeped me out. So the guy stalks me to the point of a background check even. I never even knew who he was. And then he "accidentally" meets me. Then sweet talks the hell out of me. Lies and plays with my emotions. And them wants to string me along. I let him know I was cutting contact. Then he gets obsessive about me when he only wanted to be "friends" but still insisted I did not stop texting him and insisted if I needed a date for a event that he wanted to go as a friend. Why obsess if he only cared about being friends. Anyway I'm not a player. I'm a sweet person but this guy has went too far and needs to be brought back down to earth and this girl and her bestie are gonna do it. I'm two yrs older than him. He normally dates girls 10yrs younger than him. He hadn't seen how a real woman plays the game.

if he is a player and now you know that, why would you bother to play ANY kind of game with him?!

I am not playing a game with him. I've disconnected. But my friend will assist me in teaching him this lesson. He won't know I'm involved until it's over. Doesn't matter the sign. Men or women shouldn't play with peoples feelings and he's got a reputation I was not aware of. So I do feel it's time for his dues. Are most cancer men players?

sincerely...i wouldn't bother...but it is about your feelings...so...do whatever it suits you...

Im glad that you figured him out before you got into a full fledged relationship with him. You have had one bad one and thats enough to last a lifetime. But i agree with mz on this - dont bother with him, he's not worth your time or anyone else's effort. Such guys do not change and you do not want your friends to fall for his charms while attempting to teach him a lesson. Let it go! Show him some class.
As far as all cancer men being players is concerned - i dont think so. Lets not brand the sign just because of one sour experience. There must be plenty of wonderful cancer men out there 🙂