Cancer guy, he is so hard to understand??

Hi guys ;D

I'm sagittarius girl, Im 31. I met this cancer man on online dating, he's 28.

I met him since 8 months ago. At the beginning, everything so sweet, but at 2nd date he asked me for a kiss, but I avoided him, he told me that he liked me, you also like me wasnt you, why dont we kiss? I told him that I can talk with anyone even I dont like them. He seemed a bit up set, then 15 mins later, he tried to kiss me again, but this time I was corporate with him lol and then we nearly had sex but I stopped him and said I didnt want it. Then I back home without any texts to him again.

4 days later I texted to him ask him out, he said he think it is not a good time, he had mix feeling and already to be single from 3 years relationship and not ready for relationship. I ok to wait him for a while. Then around 3 weeks later we still texted together, he was really happy and got blushed that I cheered him up with losing a new job interview, even now he has a professional position. Then after him back from 1 week holiday in Japan, we caught up again, everything all changed he was really happy to see me, enjoying our company and then we had sex, but it like he had a controlling issue for him self so it wasnt a good sex for me at all, but I just pretend that I happy too.

Around 2 months we have still met up, but he sometime show that he was jealous many time with me just small things like, a guy that I passed when we opened the door at the ground of his apartment, my friends who is a guy. He also said that you know a beautiful girl is dangerous and you also.

When we were together he also showed his feeling with me and even when we text he liked to express emotion, like we have a great memory, great time, we spark, but for me I feel everything was unclear so I never show my feeling and joked about feeling on texts. Then, I went on Holiday in my country 3 weeks with no texting with him. Second day after I was in my country I checked on dating website, his profile wasn't appear anymore.

One day I joked again, asking him to cook for me dinner, he suddenly texted me back that he wasn't ready for relationship. He keep saying that you are the only one I see. I so confused What I ask him about dinner why you answer with other, but I didn't said anything because I don't wanna lost him. Then, nothing changed we still caught up.

He went on Holiday again for a month to Canada, this time he never texted to me and I also wasn't initiate text too.

He went on Holiday again for a month to Canada, this time he never texted to me and I also wasn't initiate text too. After him backed I texted again, but he didn't reply me so I feel I gonna losing him. This time I so emotional and I know I like him so much. So my emotional make me crazy, I lied to him that Im going back to Shanghai and wont back to Australian again. I did like this because I want to test him and know what he think about me, but he said he was really sick from long holiday. I told him that I want to look after him, he appreciated but don't want because he was in a bad way!

In this time around a month, he thought I was in Shanghai, but we still texted on Whatsapp. One day, he asked me did I have a new bf yet, I said No. He keep asking me How was my love life? I said, Love? no time my project make me crazy.
Then, I checked on dating website, his profile appear again Oh!. Then I realized that I shouldn't lie with him, I told him I will back to Australia with in 2 weeks, he seemed happy and ask me a lot. A week after I told him what exactly date to back to Aus, he said he wont be here he will fly to Singapore to see a girl. I was shocked ask him what? he finally said one of his friend.

Last month I told him that I backed Aus and will not move to other country and want to see him before he gone to Singapore. He said No we cannot see each other. I ask you have a new gf already he said No. (I confused) Then I texted him and didn't reply. I feel I gonna losing him completely. so I went to his apartment and waiting him at the ground floor, he showed up. I want to talk with him tonight, but he said cannot, I asked who you gonna meet, is she hot? Then I asked why he a bit change, are you seeing someone? his eye moved and said yes, I said why don't you tell me, he said I told you. Tell me what and When ?? How long for that girl? I asked he cannot answer just said It doesn't matter many time. Then he said we should arrange other time, will be next week and let I call him.

Last night I called him and not answer, silent treatment?? or final answer ??
Normally if he want space he will tell me directly that I don't want a gf now and don't want relationship. but what is this time—

He always said I have a good heart, very kind to him. And I never said I like him.

I am a Cancer, and I was engaged to a Cancer man and with another for 4 years. It's not good that you rejected him when he first tried to kiss you, Cancer's take rejection very personally. He probably thought you were not serious about him and put his guard up.

At this point it sounds like he's making it impossible for you. At this stage the only thing you can really do is pull back and stop initiating contact. Cancer men do like a bit of a chase and don't like to be smothered unless they are in love and then they don't mind. If he doesn't start chasing you "make friends" with him again in a few months and start again building a connection from an authentic place.

One of my Cancer exes used to despise me, now I know he would take me back any time, he even told me so, because I left him alone for a few months then built the rapport again. If he's luke warm about you and you come across as needy, the damage could be irreparable.

In my experience if a man says he doesn't want a relationship (any man) he means it. To convince yourself otherwise will only lead to heart ache, it sounds like he is enjoying his travels and doesn't want to be tied down.

Him ignoring you is a very bad sign, I don't understand why you kept telling him no/rejecting him when he wanted to see you/kiss you. To then ask him if he's seeing others on top of it...well, my guess is he no longer trusts you, and thats serious with a Cancer.

Showing up at his place is just downright crazy, he ma have told you there was someone else to get rid of you, stuff like that screams "stalker" I'm sorry dear but you must get a real hold on your emotions before you try to speak to him again. Take at least 30 days to work on you and find your center, don't contact him during this time unless he initiates.

Thanks satoristarlight

so waiting for a while, and do I have to apologise for showing up on his place without telling him?

Maybe send a short apology in writing but don't make it long or drawn out, just sweet and simple.

In future don't lie to him and play games! telling him you're going to be in one country when you're in another...testing him, accusing him. These things will make him run for the hills.

After taking a break come towards him and be genuine, but don't try to force anything keep it light and let him come to you as much as possible.

Check out a website called "ex boyfriend recovery" (Google) and follow his advice to the letter if possible.

Good luck

You've invested into a guy whose not made a consistent effort and who is actively dating others. The only mystery here is how long it will take for you to realize that no matter what you do, how you manipulation the situation, you're not going to end up in a committed relationship with this man. You're wasting your time, energy & heart on a man whose just not that into you. At most this is an ego boost and booty call for him. He likes know he's got you on the line. Is that what you're willing to settle for? Of course, not. This ain't going anywhere. Cut bait and swim.

He didn't cheat on her,they weren't official. When she tried to become official with him he immediately told her he wasn't ready for a relationship. She also has thrown a lot of mixed signals at him. First not being ready not even wanting to kiss him, then chasing him and expecting him to answer to her.

He hasn't actually done anything dishonest, but she has pursued him with very scattered and sometimes even dishonest intentions, it's no wonder the guy has bolted in the other direction.

Cancers generally close off if they sense someone is untrustworthy or is going to hurt them.