Cancer man pulls off more and more but wrote he loves me so much and misses me.

Hello everyone!

I am really, really, really in need of your help understanding “my” cancer man (40yo, I am Aqua and 32) or just how to cope with the things.

I know everybody says Aquas are cold and distant – that is not true at all (at least for myself) I only get distant when I am scared SO could probably hurt my feelings..

I can better write or physically express my feelings, like tickling and holding hands and cuddling etc. than speak them out lout – I am always scared of that.

I think Cancers and Aquas could be a good combination.

Just a few information about “us”:

- long distance 5500 miles

- got to know each other 1 year ago and developed a kind of friendship over a long time but felt attraction from the very beginning (but did not tell each other for months) (we are workmates in

the same company)

- daily texting and voice messages (although 8 hrs time difference), often phone calls, photos, gifts via usps etc.

- met for a couple of days in June 2017

- both in difficult circumstances at home (about we talked a lot as we were only friends) and know what to do (not for us, but for him and myself, we don,t want to mix up this with our feelings)

- the steady connection broke up last year months later, initiated by him but we had contact from time to time and he always was asking if we really see each other this year. I have never asked

why he broke up the contact –

- he planned vacation and spent his 40th birthday with me

- he told me the reason why he pulled off, because of the long distance and last year we haven,t even met and he was so touched and confused and was scared of his feelings

So we met in June and everything was perfect. I was so scared to fall head over heels.. and it happened.. but I was cool  of course I was tender also etc.

But I am always so scared of my feelings and rejection I was funny-cool also.

At our last evening he looked at me and looked away and I was like “mi amado, everything okay?” and he answered and was a bit stammering and said “last night as I woke up

And you were still there and you were not upset when I didn,t feel well and wanted to sleep early last night, I don,t know that – I was just happy waking up in the middle of the night,

turning around and seeing you.” I answered that he is so cute and of course I only want him to recover and feel good and that I was just happy laying next to him.

He often wrote me he misses me, sends me Mexican love songs to listen and to learn Spanish (I could speak it before we met a bit) and I have to promise we meet again – but the contact is getting lower

and lower now. He initiates contact from time to time but not as much as in the beginning. Also he is still sweet but more restrained subconsciously.

I initiate too but I am so scared of annoying him etc. I cannot initiate more. I would love to – but I am scared. I am also scared to ask what happened.

But I am still gentle when he shows up again – I have never made any reproaches; I give him time and

I sent him a package over for his birthday we celebrated together and he opened it and wrote me he is getting so emotional and that it means a lot to him “I love you so much my girl”.

One time he was out with friends and business partners he sent me a voice message saying he is out and where I am and how I feel etc. and looked at my photo and was like “you,re killing me”..

He often writes that these days were so perfect with us and he misses waking up next to me etc.

As he asked me to see me again I ask him not to back off again (in case it,s “just the distance” and not the missing feelings) he told me yes he won,t.

As we phoned one night he told me about his shitty day and that felt so good to hear my voice, talking to me etc.

I do and want to trust him! But is it comprehensible that I am beginning to doubt a bit as the contact is getting lower?

Should I speak clearly or ask him? I don,t want to put him under pressure as I want to respect the reason we both have a workaday life with many responsibility.

I,d be so thankful for your answers, advices etc.!! I really don,t know how to act and behave..

AquaGirl

Hiya Zodiac friends :-)

Nobody has a clue or a thought..?

Im not desperate but quite unsure how to act etc.

Would really appreciate your help here 😭

Many many thanks!!

AquaGirl