Cancers and their mother (vent)

Here goes, i want all to share your experience with your mothers. Even for non-cancer is invited.

As I know most of us love our mother dearly yet especially for cancers. I have a Pisces mother and i love her dearly but i couldn't show it or letting it be shown to the point where she could take it as "mum, i love you sincerely" yet she could be acting like "If you truly loves me you should listen to me, not to someone else. Or you think you have grown enough of not wanting to listen to any of my advice" whenever i think i could deal with life in my own way.

Maybe i did wrong in the first place, but i surely think that i'm capable enough to do something that i think i should do even she's doesn't like. In fact she doesn't even like any of the thing that i do with my life. Could it be wrong for me to want her to at least see me from my own point of view and not hers? Sheessh..

I may be the rare cancer who does NOT have a strong attachment to their mother (a Libra).

My mother married a VERY abusive alcoholic when I was 7. Even at that age, I KNEW he was a monster, and I cried and cried and begged her not to be with him. She is married to him yet to this day, after YEARS of having social-services in and out of our house AND after his putting her in the hospital more than once.

When I left home (in 1993), I LEFT HOME. I haven't stepped a foot in that house since the day I left, and I never will.

My mother made TERRIBLE choices for herself and for her children. I am a smart woman . . . college educated, worldly expereinces. So is my mother. She is a nurse for cying out loud, and tends to children admitted to the ER for the same injuries her very husband causes to her own children. I understand depression, the cycle of violence, and blah blah BLAH. However, even with a Psych minor in college, as a mother to my son, I cannot FOR THE LIFE OF ME understand how she could let such a monster lay his hands on her children. Maybe that is my uber-Cancer-maternal side talking, IDK.

I have never - EVER - been able to relate to my mother on ANYTHING. Not humor. Not fashion. Not politics. Not religion. Not friends or other family. Not - - ANYTHING.

So - yeah. While my story is not a happy one where my mother is concerned, I do have a lot to thank her for. In a very BACKWARDS way she taught me what kind of CRAP I will NOT tolerate in a relationship. She taught me the kind of mother I do NOT want and WILL NOT be!! Through her weakness, I have strength. Through her cowardice, I have courage. Through her ignorance, I have wisdom. And for all the scars I carry because of her husband, I am beautiful.

Thanks Mom!!

Cancerlove1975 and Complicate...im sorry to hear that...hugs to both of you! HUGS!!!

"I have never - EVER - been able to relate to my mother on ANYTHING. Not humor. Not fashion. Not politics. Not religion. Not friends or other family. Not - - ANYTHING."

i could relate to that too. it's like there's a huge wall between us. not getting in synch while i do yearns to have that kind of talking to her without being judgmental or she's taking everything into negative side of way.

"In a very BACKWARDS way she taught me what kind of CRAP I will NOT tolerate in a relationship. She taught me the kind of mother I do NOT want and WILL NOT be!! Through her weakness, I have strength. Through her cowardice, I have courage. Through her ignorance, I have wisdom."

you nail it hard cancerlove!

"She is a fucked up woman who passed down all of issues to me."

tell me all about it!!!

I have Moon in Cancer, so I guess that KINDA makes me a crab....😛


I left my mother A LOOOOOOONG time ago....matter of fact, I don't really recall her being in my life much....she was in the background alot with work, and not very emotional....not very maternal....I left her because there just wasn't any love in her to offer, or she held it in....She's really pretty too....I'm tired of feeling as if I'm 'bound' to her.....I was afraid to leave her cuz I thought she would die or get hurt(have people with substance abuse problems in my house), and I'd never forgive myself if that happened....but I realized I suppressed so much of myself because I never wanted to hurt her.....but I had to learn to be selfish, and focus on myself, because my loyalty/love for her was KILLING ME....I felt that way about my whole family actually....

Well my whole family dynamic really fell apart....well, it never REALLY left the ground actually....not very good with stuff like this...

She's a Gemini....Poor lady....I love her still....but it's when the pain of that love overpowers my positive feelings for her I have to stop thinking/feeling about her.....I just go on as I've always had....as if I NEVER had a mom....but sometimes the memories just come surging back to me....especially the ones of when I was little and she gave me something to drink when I was little and we we're at the zoo: something so small and insignificant I held onto...why I'll never know....I wanted to be my mom AND dad's guardian....I learned how to fight, and use a sword for them....

I wanted to tell her a lot that I felt really lonely and after a while that loneliness ate away at my soul.....it made me well....evil...hell bent on destroying others....no matter how big they we're....I'd find the means to topple them....I can honestly say I'm a hate-filled soul right now....although I smile there's a deep well of rage inside me, I try to keep out of the sights of the public, but it's a fight.....

Idk, hating your mom at this point seems kinda....well, lame...? I mean, yea, she suxxx at being a mom, but SHE suxxx, doesn't mean YOU have to succck...unless you wanna 😉 lol 😛

I guess I accept the fact that she couldn't really get it right...I'm cool with it because honestly, I think I'm pretty damn cool....guess that's all that matters....not like she can just up and start being a mom now....

It appears my Sun is in the 8th house....VERY heavy, and pertinent information....

'The suffering experienced by 8th House people, is always at the hands of people with whom they have a close personal relationship, and although there may be physical cruelty also, it is at the emotional level that the pain is registered. The pain is nearly always that of rejection and the knowledge that the intensity of their feelings is neither understood nor valued.

People with this placement of the Sun tend to experience the transforming energy of Pluto, the ruling planet of this house, as a force used by others against them. They do not readily use it themselves even in retaliation. People born with the Sun in the 8th House are usually born to parents unable to or unwilling to recognise the child's needs. Usually they have problems of their own and expect the child to be supportive and understanding. '

I don't even have the words....to put this together....mind bending—

GB, The purpose for what I said was if I were to spend time entertaining what I lost/never had, I'd turn into a Scorpion: resentful, hate-filled (which I am) and other things that I still struggle with on a daily basis.....I try to avoid that as you see as I never, EVER employ the power of pluto....

I try to CHANGE my reality/situation through those stormy feelings....by taking that pain, and focusing it at the positive pole of myself, I change and since I come so far out of myself, I experience an evolution so to speak.

Naw, I wasn't giving advice to you if it sounded that way..... I was more or less explaining my situation for why I am the way I am....I tend to do that......I'm OBSESSIVE with whatever I do man be it searching for answers, or anything....it's just apart of me....

Well moon_eyes..yeah maybe because my mum is a Pisces..maybe that's not all about it..she likes to control and everything must be in perfect order according to her and eventhough she's the only Mom..but she taught me to shunned from everything that is uncertain and even she always say "do not be afraid of things that you never know" but her actions is wayyyyyy different. so i could say..i'm a late stater in life..as in many wayssss..

Oh VE and GB.. hugs to both of you guys.. 🙂

oh i forgot to mention...because of that.. i used to be a control freak and that SUCKS big time!!!

dont say anything abt being a mother they want only the best..yes i so know about it..and i do respect my Mom..but not to the extend where i sense whenever i try to listen to her..she feels like has regained fully control over me and all my being..the reversed psychology..uh uh...nope..doesn't work on anymore.

Thanxxx LS....but I prefer to look at it positively, it's from that pain I feel that it amplifies the amount of feeling I feel....it makes me DETERMINED AS HELL to be the 'PERFECT DAD'....

That's my DRIVING AMBITION in life...I want to be a father...ever since I could remember I wanted to be a dad...I want my kids to know who their father is, and I want to open their minds and test their limits as much as possible....I want them to feel that their potential is limitless, and the only thing holding them back is themselves....I want so much for them to have faith in themselves, and to drive themselves forward...I want them to be leaders, and I will encourage them in every way possible.....

being a father is my PASSION....I wonder why it means so much to me...—

My Cancer friend adores his Mother. He dedicates days at a time to her; I think is great! I even make sure he talks to her or checks up on her; normally he does daily.

But if there's something that she wants him to do and he doesn't seem to cooperate; she'll phone me to try and "suck" me into getting him to do what she wants. As if it's required that I cooperate. I fell for this a few times, but I've noticed this behavior increasing lately. I phone him right away and he eventually deals with the situation. She's actually a nice lady, but she can be soooo manipulative at times.

VE, i could only say..go for what you thrive for..and by being "perfect Dad" hmm..not such a good idea..but no one is perfect..but i think your gonna be a good DAD 😉

and i think that coming from the lacking of love you'd got in your life...

wow i can totally relate to most of you in this blog,both my parents got divorce when i was olny 6 years old.my mom a gemini and dad a sagiterius.so i being a sensitive cancer,never felt loved by both parents.my dad decided to take me to Europe at the age of 7,so for 13 good years i couldn't see my mother,was'nt allowed to communicate with her at all.yea it was really hard for me because my dad always tried to make me forget about my mom,he always said how negatives about her and i wasn't pleased with what my dad always told me about my mother.after 13 years i reunited with mom ,was so happy to see her...then as time went by i started developing this anger towards my mother and asked on why she never fought harder to have me stay with her ?why didn't she try to come visit me?she never answered my questions...she always said she did'nt know why and that she was scared of my dad...up till today we still fight and argue....i missed her alot whenever i needed her...you know...right there's still that wall that seperates us.we don't get along at all.

oh cancer-rising... sorry to hear that..*big hug on you*.

i know how that feeling when both parents bad-mouthing each other and the other seems went away and like giving excuses of not answering you..

I think your mom went on searching for you but she dint have enough courage of fighting against your dad.. Talking about that wall..only time could tell if it can be break down or getting higher above..

hope you're gonna find a good solution with your mom...🙂

lostsoul07 thanks to you...yea i hope and pray a way to solve this with mom.

i have a 5 year old daughter and wow it's been wonderful so far...i love to shower her with alot of attention...spend alot of time with her and i love every moment of being a great mother myself...would love to have more down the road...

you will never i repeat NEVER come before their mother... don't even try!! They are known for being MAMA's BOYS!!!