Cancers mixed signals

I love these forums cuz everyone is very insightful!! Ive been with my cancer man for 6 months now and I definately see the moodiness, and distant behavior. The aquarius in me wants to understand why, but I know I never will. Therefore Im more interested in how to decipher his intent. The mixed signals are hard for me to get used to. If I know the meaning behind them, then it would be easier to stop analyzing... For example: He wanted all my time and attention, so I gave it to him. I made sure to call/text throughout the day (not waiting for him to do it first) and made myself available when I knew he had free time. Then that was too much, so I backed off. I waited for him to initiate the communication, which didnt happen. So after a bit, I called him, letting him know I missed him and wanted to see him. He thought my distance meant I wasnt interested in him anymore, and was hesitant about seeing me. I assured him I was, and things were ok. Another example of his mixed signals: Recently we had a lil tiff because I tried to have "the talk" with him. BIG MISTAKE! Again the aquarius that I am just really wants direct answers and to not have to analyze... Anyways I didnt call for a week or so and of course he didnt either. But when I finally did, the convo was good, so I asked to see him, and he said he didnt know because things with us werent working well. I didnt argue or try to convince him otherwise, and left it on a positive note. So 3 hours later he asks me to come see him. I was shocked! Of course I went to see him and things were great. Im still extremely confused about these mixed emotions he seems to have but obviously cant ask him, so please any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Posted by LouLouBlue
So 3 hours later he asks me to come see him. I was shocked! Of course I went to see him and things were great. Im still extremely confused about these mixed emotions he seems to have but obviously cant ask him, so please any insight would be greatly appreciated.

yeah, this seems pretty typical to me...i'll just say, getting logical or direct answers from your Cancer will be hard. they seem to have kaleidescope moods. i have a Cancer male friend and am in a kind-of relationship with another Cancer. so i've noticed certain traits. making things even more complicated, Cancers can fear rejection so would prefer to shut people out rather than risk it.

this isn't an easy pill to swallow, but try to be patient. let him go at his own pace. seems to me that despite being spontaneous, they weigh things up, so you'll need bags of paitence! he obviously likes you, but aybe his has doubts or fears he hasn't revealed to you. try not to be smothering or demanding, but of course follow your own instincts. there's only so much compromise one person can dish out.

Sounds like he is being an illusory puzzle surrounded by mist, and you are methodically trying to solve him.

My advice to you is to not be so analytical with him, as ALL CRABS hate being underneath an electron microscope.

You guys may be super compatible & have the greatest chemistry/relationship in the world, BUT all of that won't matter if you 2 can be looking at the very same thing(s) & yet both come to a different conclusion.

I'm not saying that you 2 must think/be alike in order for this relationship to work, BUT Cancer & Aquarius are such opposites that it's only necessary for BOTH people to consistently get in the habit of understanding how the other person ticks.

Discovering how they see/perceive things will better help you to place yourself in HIS shoes, so that you 2 don't keep falling out over simple miscommunications or differences in judgement.

It's great that the Aqua in you is guiding you to WANT to be so understanding. BUT, HE has to also have that same mindset. Doesn't mean that he has to turn into an Aqua just for him to "Get you" BUT if you guys can establish an open-dialogue where both of you can step outside of your own boxes & ways of thinking, your relationship & it's stability should be fine.

While still being yourself, the only thing you can do is verbally reassure him that you're here to stay. It make take awhile for it to finally register, BUT eventually it will & once it does, you won't sense so much hesitation or stand off from him. And vice versa

Wow kaleidescope is a great word and def suits his personality. Thanx wineaux I loved the how to date a cancer thread, amazing! So now I guess my only question is how to reassure him if Im supposed to give him space and wait for him to come to me? Also, after a few days of not calling or texting he thinks Im not interested, lol. Im sort of stuck between a crab and a hard place...

Lou Lou honey, I feel for you. We really are dating the same person. LOL It's crazy how similar they are.

I broke up with my Cancer after 2 1/2 years almost 2 years ago. I gotta tell you I still miss him, but will never admit it to him and will never go back because I left for reasons that I know will not change about him because that is who he is...and I know he'll never come back because he realized by now that I'm not the one to tolerate and always understand the unexpected changes in his behavior! I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE!!!

I too couldn't make it thru the sideways dancing which happened too frequently for me. I Over analyzed the mood swings and changed the expectations of the relationship with the mood swings not only from my point, but from his too. When the mood swings came up, for the most part I would make the adjustment and move forward with the changes; but it seems when he realized when he went left and I'd go right(because I wasn't going to join the sorrowing) the mood swings would end.

I also didn't understand why come to my spot when you're moody and it appears he didn't want to be bothered? Go home, wallow and then come back when your head is not up your shell! LOL!

Posted by LeoGal4Real


I also didn't understand why come to my spot when you're moody and it appears he didn't want to be bothered? Go home, wallow and then come back when your head is not up your shell! LOL!

'Cause he wanted comfort and understanding, indirectly and may have been seeking affection as his low points kicked in.

Yea! Kinda figured that's what he wanted so I'd ask questions, grumpy responses. Offer drinks and food, grumpy acceptance. Left alone for a few hours to wallow, grumpy wallowing.

So, what does one do after all of the above? Not for me but for others who need to figure out HOW TO DEAL WITH THE UPS/DOWNS, because I don't THINK I'd ever date another Cancer again!

Lol Leo ur hilarious!!