Is it possible to back off to much and lose

him. Many of you are familiar with my story. Cancer man and I had issues last xmas, he pulled away, I felt rejected so I pulled away and went NC. Two weeks later he begins to contact me daily, just saying hello and checking on me. Of course my feelings were hurt but I responded to all his calls but kept my messages brief, void of emotions. this has gone on now for 3 months, him calling me, texting every other day. We haven't seen one another because we're 2 hours apart and live very hectic life style s. Last month he began to talk like the guy I fell for. Telling me how much he missed me and he even told me the reason he pulled away was because he was falling in love with me. I still don't understand his logic. When I'm in love I want to be closer to my object of affection. Says that he needs me in his life and I need him and a host of other things. Jan. and Feb. his messages were dry but all of a sudden it's like a flood of emotions just poured out of him. He's expressed a strong desire to see me, but I cancelled our last meeting because I am so afraid he'll push me away again and I can't deal with that pain. I know I need to give in a little to see where this is going, but I so scared. The last time we were together we had an amazing time and after that he became distant and of course his behavior floored me because I didn't know why. When I asked questions, he'd become agitated and became more distant, so I don't want to go there again. He has not allowed a week to pass without calling me 2-3 times a week, but I don't call him anymore. He's let me know in his own way that he'd like to get a "hello" sometime from me too, but I don't call. I'm stuck! As I stated, we were set to see each other last week and I cancelled and I haven't heard from him since. I wonder if he's giving up, I don't know, but he's the reason we're on this page, but I know I have to give him something to work with. Obviously, he's still interested because he has consistently contacted me for 3 months....What do you think I should do?

Well I decided to stop being so scared and go for it. We didn't speak at all last week because Mr. was waiting for me to contact him for a change. This morning I text just to say good morning and I swear I think I opened the flood gates. He responded immediately telling me how much he misses me and how much he NEEDS to see me. Wow, that's deep. LOL "NEED" Damn, I love this man so much. Long distance relationships are so difficult. I don't think either of us knew how taxing it would become, but I think we're in too deep to turn back now. I kind of felt he was feeling rejected by me, so I'm happy I called, but I really had to talk myself into making contact first considering I haven't since last December. It paid off...I'm smiling from ear to ear.

I have a question. My cancer man (No labels) got very close during the past week, and now he has dissapeared. From what I can read is, they pull away when they feel they get to close or fall for you. When a cancer man pull away, do he think about what he is feeling, or does this help him to get rid of his feelings?

Dragoneyes, my fear was that my cancer backed away because he was attempting to break up with me or get over me. Honestly, I think he was pushing me to break up with him but I just ceased contact altogether to allow him to filter through his feelings. This forum was a god send because initially I was calling, texting trying to see what his problem was which only made him angry and more distant. He told me constantly, "there was nothing wrong, and no his feeling had not changed." From my perspective something was drastically different but I don't even think he knew at the time. No contact helped me to get a grip on my emotions because I became needy which is totally unlike me. Needless to say, he's back on in contact with me 2-3 times a week, expressing his love, etc.

Some others may have had a different experience.

Crabs and Lions sound more like a fight scene from a Sinbad movie than anything else.

Sorry, but you are trying to make something work that probably never will.

Best to cut your losses, and move on.

Why do you say that scuba?

Maddy, shame on you.... It won't work, you should know that by now. LOL

Well it's working for me. Of course I've had to make some adjustments and so has he, but in most relationships there's some level of compromise.

LOL I know....very funny. So how are you and Mr. Cancer doing?