Did wishing me happy holidays mean anything?

I posted 3 months ago.
My cancer ex and I met last January. Fell deeply crazily in love and it was strongly intense for the honeymoon period, so 6 months. We moved in 2 months in, and it was an adjustment but we loved each other a lot!
Anyway, upon reflection since our breakup in Oct (we took a trip to the westcoast to meet my entire family in Sept... great timing). I realized that i took him for granted, but he took the cake with his moodswings, and turning me into his post-work punching back, and general disrespect of me, and taking me for granted and was controlling and wanted his way all the time. Especially the last month where he wanted a break while we still lived together. That mentally and emotionally killed me.
Anyway. I am having a REALLY hard time letting go, because it seemed so sudden that he had all these excuses to throw at me one day, from him being mad at me cus I told him to leave too many times (so he could appreciate me more), then he didn't know what he wanted, then he couldn't be in a serious relationship, he was freaking out about marriage and kids, and he hates commitment.

Anyway. I haven't seen him since we moved out Oct/Nov.
He picked some things up but basically up til 2 weeks ago he still had keys which he has dropped off now.
I wrote him some emails that have gone unanswered.

Anyway, he wished me happy holidays to me and my family.
And i was still angry, so i told him i hope he gets a visit from the ghosts of christmas past, present and future. haha. I mean I hoped he figured out how he treated me, it wasn't very nice.
Next day was christmas and i wished him merry christmas and he said the same, and asked me if i went home for christmas and i said no, but would go for new years. I got very upset, I basically brought up that he decided i was worthless one day and proceeded to treat me like garbage and he got upset and said it wasnt true and he was sorry i felt that way but it was inappropriate. Well I dont know how else to explain how after we broke up, random hoards of women were being added to his facebook. He hurt me so much but I still can not let go.
Was he reaching out? And seriously, how can he not own up to how badly he was behaving.
I have had more words to say to him, with no response.

No. Don't waste your time.

ok thanks.
i have tried to move on. i really have.
it's just really hard since he gave me no closure. everything was "i dont want to talk about it"
but i am trying.
thank you

Sometimes a person coming back and trying to make amends without talking about the past is all that you need to move forward. It is them owning up in disguise. You know they did wrong, they know it. His response is his natural defense as h retreated into his shell. We all say we forgive, but then say we don't forget. It's understandable but simply makes things harder when they shouldn't have to be...if both of you want to move forward and enjoy some sort of relation to each other.

Beautiulsoul...
I love him so much still and I am open to forgiving him but it takes more time than I thought especially since his olive branch was a mere "happy holidays to you and your family" ...
I am so angy at him for leaving me so suddenly and attempting to move on so quickly.
The last time I texted him I asked him if he had everything he wanted now, and he said yes.
And it broke my heart. Well, everything breaks my heart. The problem is nothing was ever talked about. It was always "I dont want to talk about it. I dont need the stress". Someone he could do these actions but never own up to them.
I love him but for me to forgive him I think I need him to own up to how he hurt me, and I don't think I will ever get that... His whole family says he's a good guy, he just needs to grow up, everything is always about him.
He knows how to apologize , tho he is extremely stubborn.
I've brought up his behavior several times before and he kinda just ignores what I say.
One time I wrote him an email at 2am about his behavior and his own response was "wow you write really well at 2am"
....
Well I told him to not contact me unless he has something meaningful to say to me cus I can't deal with this. Hearing from him and his robotic responses rips me apart.

I want him to come back and know what he's done lol. Damn it never gonna happen.

i want to move on.
i need to forgive him but i find it so hard to find a way to find a logical explanation for his actions.
He said that maybe one day we could have a future together but he can't promise and all he can say is that we can't be together right now.
Like, i dont understand why everything was so vague.
And there is no way I will have a future with him if he can't even own up to what he has done.
Maybe that's why I am so distraught. He will never realize. And it's been a theme, with my last words, my sign off to him, that he will just never understand what he's done.
I am also so angry because, he admitted, at the end that he was causing tantrums and fights, and those were some of the reasons why I kept telling him he should move out, because of the conflict and the taking me for granted, and THAT is what he said made him mad at me. That i hurt him but telling him to leave? How does he turn that around on me.

I am still really distraught over this. And totally just malfunctioned my macbook by crying all over it. lol.

I can't imagine having a better connection with anyone else than him. We both had the can't sleep, can't function kinda falling in love and it is such a waste. Such a waste because he's a coward.

Windows comps won't break down due to a few measly tears. Jussayin.

furthermore, screw him. he's over it n just trying to b nice/cordial. move on.

I must ask tho, what lead to the whole break/ breakup shpeal

he thinks hes not worth it anymore to be with you... trust me!!! make a move if you still love him and ask him to meet up atleast..he ll melt and say sorry ! i had a relationship with a gemini woman too and well... i still regret letting go of her. u can be wiser! he courted you unbelievably didnt he— that was special! just see if he does.

Posted by krebbsmann
he thinks hes not worth it anymore to be with you... trust me!!! make a move if you still love him and ask him to meet up atleast..he ll melt and say sorry ! i had a relationship with a gemini woman too and well... i still regret letting go of her. u can be wiser! he courted you unbelievably didnt he— that was special! just see if he does.

Yes he was the most amazing man ever, he said what happened between us, he never experienced before... Like on our second date he picked me up he forgot how to drive.. I don't know.. I thought I meant so much to him and seemingly overnight he decided something changed. All he could give me was "I thought this time would be different" because he always runs away.
He is dating other women tho. Well that's what he does, before I met him he told me he would go on 5 dates a day... I'm not even sure what his reasons are...He doesn't want to fall in love but he keeps dating, and when he does fall in love he tries to make it work knowing he can't change?

He won't say anything. Except when I say things, like "you don't want me anymore, someone else will" he will just say "no... It's not like that" but he will never say anymore just "I don't want to talk about it" ... How do feelings change so quickly... We were fighting a lot, living in a small space causes problems. And he needs to grow up and be less selfish. But I adore him.

I feel I have made a move.
Ok I haven't explicitly said What I want to happen, but I did, along with telling him how much that "break" month when he lived with me hurt me and to never do that to anyone again, but also why I loved him (even tho he is such a jerk as of late), I owned up to taking his love for granted but also said he did the same. I mean really, he's actually quite self aware of his behaviour..

Oh here's a thing, he was freaking out about marriage and kids, well I don't want kids and he doesn't believe it, one time we fought because I was scared how he would behave if we had kids, if he would still be selfish and self serving... But I only considered having kids because I thought he wanted them, as per his online dating profile. I pointed that out and told him to quit lying on those things. Anyway his dating profile still says "wants kids" (along with phd and has kids over 18, all lies) I could punch

He kept saying when I meet the right guy I will forgot all about him (true), and I should date around to see if someone else can give me what he can't give me, and also maybe someone else will find my traits less annoying as vice versa... What— He said this during the start of our break and throughout??

Anyway, I've said so many things to him in emails, sometimes I'm angry, sometimes I'm reflecting, sometimes I'm apologetic, but generally it's that I am hurt and cant really understand what has happened but that love doesn't go away.

a cancer man in love will never ask a girl to go around with someone else... he maynot be into you anymore. see as a fellow cancer guy..i can tell you our standards are far too high for every other girl to reach. maybe he got attracted to you because gems are just so lively..totally opposite of us 😛 but now maybe he found a few faults in you and realised that you two are not really that compatible..tell me during this period was he possessive with you? did u mention meeting other guys when you were with him? how loyal were you? i think u shouldnt break his heart further..let him go... he wll find a girl for himself and you must find what u r looking for....

Posted by krebbsmann
a cancer man in love will never ask a girl to go around with someone else... he maynot be into you anymore. see as a fellow cancer guy..i can tell you our standards are far too high for every other girl to reach. maybe he got attracted to you because gems are just so lively..totally opposite of us 😛 but now maybe he found a few faults in you and realised that you two are not really that compatible..tell me during this period was he possessive with you? did u mention meeting other guys when you were with him? how loyal were you? i think u shouldnt break his heart further..let him go... he wll find a girl for himself and you must find what u r looking for....

me? 100% loyal.
well while we were on a break. I went out with my gf to watch a show, and he asked me who i was with, i said "some friends" since he kept refusing to tell me what he was doing. So he usually sleeps at 9-10PM, he stayed up all night til i got home, the second I got home, he went to bed. He told me to go out and date other girls, but if i was out he kept wondering where I was going.

I don't know. He said he fell in love with me "what's smaller than a second? microsecond" of meeting me. And he said he never felt this way ever with anyone.
But yes he did say that maybe we aren't that compatible. So that is true. Because of the dumbest things, his example, was because I like to watch X-factor. and that when he comes him he likes to blast his euro-beats music and it annoys me. THOSE are things he says makes us incompatible. BS.

Please. I don't have a fickle heart like him. There was nobody. I went out with girlfriends or went out by myself.

I didn't break his heart! He broke my heart! During the break he went out, he told me he wanted to be with other girls. Well i guess that's why. I thought he would realize what he had. This is him, he can not be alone. He broke off his engagement and immediately went to date the entire city, then found me, fell for me, now he wants to be single again.
He has no heart to break.

Oh possessive.
i dont know. but i always feel like he treated me as a possession if that means anything.

he admits that he is selfish.
Before we broke up, he said he is going to fight this "selfish disease" because his dad had a talk with him, and his dad really liked me and didn't want him to lose me.
Then he admitted that he has alway been like this and knows he needs to change his personality.
but then he would say stuff like, "but doesn't mean we didn't have a good time together"

I think about, how, before he broke up with his ex-fiance ok, he promised to bring her into this country, but it was too much work, so he backed out of his word, and decided to move to europe where she is from because he is obsessed with that life style , and when he couldn't cut it there, and also decided it wouldn't work out with her, moved back. Now he blames that for ruining his career here. All he does is blame.

Sheesh i dont even know why i love him, he is so flawed in so many ways.

Ok my new years resolution is to move on from this jerk!!!!!!! Thank you for your time my friends!!!!!!! I have had enough!!!!!

good for u..logic is all u got!

He's getting in the way of your true destiny. You are a Gem you will be just fine. Go find a mellowed out Aries man to play with or a laidback Leo. 🙂 Gems are glittery and happy. Go find yourself a man whom can appreciate your inner Xanadu.

heehee you guys are so great.
I feel a lot better today.
I am home at my parents, got a huge chat with them about my situation.

Also had a decent chat with my crab.
Things i wanted to hear? Not really. Things that will help. Yes.
I wasn't the problem, it was him, and he is full of issues and he doesn't want me to be a part of those issues. And if he didn't care about me, he would have dragged out our situation even longer. and that he will never forget me (why does he have early onset alzheimer's?)

He kept telling me to have a good trip.
I said, i will but that's like putting a band aid on... when i have cancer. he is my cancer, and it's terminal. haha. he is my cancer.

I will be OK.
I already feel better because i know he won't change so it's never going to work.

My dad was like. what answers do you want to hear from him anyway. It's over, nothing will help your situation. And the fact that you keep pressing for answers when he doesn't want to give you answers already makes you guys incompatible. Haha. oh Dads.

sounds good...cheerio! :p