Family crisis and cancer goes cold?

So I'm having some really serious problems in my family. As soon as I was rung and told about it I text my partner to let him know. He didn't get back to me for a whole day and when he finally did he was acting as if nothing had even happened. I was busy looking after the family member and I missed a call from him. Later that night he texted me asking if I was ok because he had just tried ringing my house. I told him I wasn't at home but he could ring me where I was staying if he wanted to. He told me he was going to bed instead.

I don't understand what's going on....Why would he become so cold when something so serious is going on? I know that the thing that has happened isn't to do with me directly but I am the only one helping this family member and I thought he might at least want to know if everything is ok with us (the family member and I) but he's gone the complete opposite way.

How do crabs usually act when something like this happens?

Hmmm.. that's a bit odd. They're supposedly the nurturing type, right? Or maybe he's giving you space but it seems kinda fishy to me. My cancer just flew to his hometown to see his father who had a seizure, and even though he's the 3rd or 4th child he's the one handling all the estate stuff (he's only 24) because "no one else took the responsibility". I think you should tell this guy how you feel. I'd want someone there to support me if I had to deal with a crisis like that!

Foxy - Yeah I thought it was a bit weird too. Someone else also told me to tell him how I felt but he ignored that as well. I'm not sure what to do.

Noosiekins - Oh wow I do...I kinda forgot about that, I'm so sorry. The thing that's happened is nothing compared to that at all! It would be horrible to know how this crab would react in an even worse situation...if he can't handle this...then he wouldn't be able to handle something similar to your situation either. I've called it a family crisis on here because I didn't know what else to call it without actually going into detail about it....to me it's a family crisis but still nothing compared to how bad it could have been. You would think anyone, regardless of their sign, would know how to just give a little support or something...just a little bit.

Posted by TypicalScorpio
if he can't handle this...then he wouldn't be able to handle something similar to your situation either

why can't you handle it? it's your dilemma, where you chose to help out. Own it. If your boyfriend asks you to be supportive when he chooses to take on an emotional crisis, then you have a legitimate reason to whine. If he doesn't, well....

I had a crisis where a very close friend of mine died unexpectedly. Everyone was in shock including myself. I'm good in a crisis, so after I had my own breakdown of grieving (privately) I took care of all of the funeral arrangements and costs. It was very tough because the good and ugly in people really comes out surrounding death. Through it all, I did not go to my SO (pisces), even though we were all friends because this was MY emotional battle and I could handle it. He had his stuff to deal with... and I had mine.
After it all he was extremely loving and supportive and he had mad appreciation and respect for my strength.

People handle things differently. Just because YOU would act a certain way in a crisis, what gives you the right to expect someone else to conform to your beliefs or how you flow?
A Cancer has amazing emotional strength because we have to. They can cry over a commercial or loose it over silly, trivial things when they have reached their limit... but nobody can suck it up and get the job done when everyone else is in full panic mode, like a Cancer.

Posted by Skylark


I've learned that you can't rely on anyone for anything. The only person you can rely on is yourself. It's the only one who will never let you down.

This isn't entirely true. I have people in my life that will never, ever let me down... it just depends what I am asking of them.

Stop trying to find in another, strength that you should be looking for in yourself... because then yes, you will always be disappointed 🙂

Thank you, skylark. My dad always says that and I never truly listen 😛

Shellshocker - I wasn't asking him to come over and help, I wasn't asking him to take on my emotional pain...I wasn't really asking him for anything...I just didn't expect him to ignore me. And then when he finally did contact me he didn't want to speak to me because I wasn't at my house... It just seems odd to me. I can deal with this, I have no choice but to deal with it, and that's ok. I wasn't asking him to take this on himself.

I know if this was something HE had to deal with he could handle the situation very well, I wasn't putting down his abilities to deal with something serious in his life.

I love Scorps, I do.. but the harsh truth is.. I think MOST people are "too cold" for them when they're (emotionally) crisising. Seen it time and time again.. Seriously.. Scorps are so deep and intense and when a crisis pops up they tend to need EVEN MORE emotional nurturing.. yet few of them actually ASK for it, clearly, calmly, and directly. They just WAIT for said person to give the needed nurturing... assume a person is "cold" and "uncaring" if they don't automatically give the same support the Scorp would give in a similar situation.

You know, Libras are notoriously famous for seeming to be "cold" and "unsympathetic" towards people in emo crisis, mine included.. so, I handle it differently. I simply ASK him for what I need (instead of assuming he'll know what I need, and if he doesn't then he's an unfeeling prick!), something like, "You know, Libra.. I've been feeling really down and upset about X and Y that happened. It would feel so good to have your support right now, to feel your love and concern for my feelings. Would you just hold me for awhile/talk to me for awhile/listen to me vent/take me out somewhere for awhile? I'd feel so appreciative of that.".. and you know what? He happily gives me what I sweetly asked for - cuz he really ISN'T unfeeling or selfish. And also then, my Leeb JUMPS at the chance to ask later on how I'm feeling about it, if there's anything he can do to make me feel better.

So TELL your Cancer how you FEEL.. calmly, clearly.. "Hey Cancer.. I love that we have the kind of relationship where I feel confident I can share my feelings with you and not worry. But I've felt really stressed and upset about what happened, and really hurt and ignored by you, the one I love and count on. I don't want to face things like this alone..and I feel so sad and alone in dealing with all of this. It feels so good when I have your care and support, it makes me feel strong enough to deal with it all. What do you think?"

I was just thinking the exact same thing about nefer's advice!!

Nefer I think you are right about the scorpio and crisising thing...it makes so much sense and I see it is exactly what I was doing. I also forgot to say, before, that I agree with shellshocker when she said just because I act a certain way during certain times I can't expect others to do the same...which ties into this as well. I see now that I was too quick to judge and too slow to express what I needed so thank you so much for that. I'll have to use your advice a little later 😄