Hard to know

How do you know when a cancer woman is in love with you.
Are there any cancer women out there who can give me clues.

Cheers.
C

I'm a Cancer woman. When I'm falling in love in someone, I usually find myself buying him little things, making his favorite food. And then I often become unavailable for a few days, to see if I am being missed and not taken for granted. Part of the insecurity of a cancer. When I am sure of how I feel, I tell him. I don't wait for him to say it first. By that time, I'm usually head over heels. Cancers are cautious, but with love, putting yourself out there is worth the risk.

Hope that helps -
CL

Thanks for the reply CL. I've worked with this great cancer woman for about 14 months and we don't have a romantic relationship at all. I'm sure at times she loves me as much as I love her. She seems to like sitting next to me at lunch etc and we have the greatest eye contact and joke and talk well then at other times she seems indifferent. I know she is shy, although not always. There has to be something subtle I could say or do to know how she really feels about me so I could muster up enough nerve to express my feelings directly. She may just like my company and want only to be friends, although my feelings tell me otherwise. Lately she has become friendlier than ever towards me but for some reason I just don't know for sure. What subtle thing could I do or say to know if there is such a thing?
Cheers.
C.

I have the feeling that you may be leaving out some important information about this situation. The mixed and confounding signals are the sideways approach of the crab. Testing the water and then hiding back in her shell. If any risk she takes is reciprocated it will be encouraging to her, but after she has been so friendly which in crab terms means taking a wild risk and being vulnerable, you need to make the next move to keep the rapport up. What star sign are you? I find it interesting with all the mixed signals you are receiving that you think she loves you. Cancer use their intuition alot to feel their way through situations, she may well be picking up on the fact that you love her, somehow sensing it, but not receiving enough factual information. I can't say if she loves you but would encourage you to take a few more risks and see what kind of a response you get. Having suggested that, I know as a cancer female that when it comes to someone I am in love with there is no way I am going to take a risk unless I feel really sure my feelings are reciprocated. If you would like to add more information about your situation that may be useful or tell us how the situation has developed since you first posted I would be interested to see how things have turned out. Sorry if the various ideas in this response did not follow a logical sequence. Good Luck

Well I feel the same way and am not a Cancer, it is always hard to take this kind of risk and helps to be sure. It is human nature.

RE😛osted by Unregistered: (211.28.96.37) on Sunday, June 16, 2002.
and Posted by Unregistered: (203.41.250.148) on Thursday, June 20, 2002
Many thanks for your replies.
Thank you (for want of another term) the cancer female who replied in detail.
I have been on holiday so I'm sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Your ideas were logical and fine to me and a great help. I am a gemini with a cancer ascendent and I know gemini's and cancers arn't supposed to get on, but one of my best (male) friends is a cancer and we have got on fabulously for years plus I have other male and female cancer friends who I have also got on well with over the years.
Having read about both signs I do feel I have a great deal of the cancer personality in me. I guess the gemini communication side of me has always been there and working on feelings alone, which I also do (I suppose everybody does),isn't always as straight forward for me.In other words I do like to discuss my feelings with people. The information you so wisely feel is missing could possible be that we are both married. I have been unhappy for a long time and am not looking for affairs, I'm looking at a relationship that is fulfilling and has, I would hope, some peace and harmony.
I know both of us being married complicates issues even further.The "sideways approach" you mention was a great help. I think you are right, I didn't realise that little subtle efforts on her behalf probably are quite a big thing for her to do and I have not probably always reciprocated accordingly. When you say she "may not be recieving enough factual information" from me what sort of information could I get accross and how?. I could say something to her but I'm not wanting to at this stage.
Unfortunately since we last talked she has moved to a different part of the building and I am now seeing less of her which doesn't help. I went and specifically dropped in to see her for a few minutes the other day which must have seemed a little obvious as I had no real reason to go and see her, we have different jobs. Maybe that will be good, I don't know. I also don't want to appear as If I am hounding her or something, I'm not, but if I have this all wrong it could seem like that.
I must say though that the eye contacts and her waving to me, when we can't actually talk to each other are still great. I don't know she could just be being really friendly, but something inside sometimes tells you that you are right about a situation even if you can't fully explain it. Anyways I'll write a bit more soon.
Many thanks again for your ideas, anymore would be greatly appreciated.
Take Care.
C.

I just wondered if anybody had any ideas on my "hard to know" messages.

take Care.
C

Does anyone have any answers regarding my HARD TO KNOW messages as yet?

Take Care.

C

Hello All,

Maybe my message is too long?

Take Care.

C

You are both married, so forget about it!

i agree. work on your marriage instead.

If only life were that simple. I have tried to work on my marriage for years but I'm not prepared to put up with being totally miserable nearly every day because that is the thing you're supposed to do. It can't just be me that tries to work on a marriage.

Sometimes people change and drift apart, it's very sad but it happens.

C

Nice life, huh? Why do you stay? If you don't mind me asking? I have this friend who is getting to the point that either he goes or I am gonna drive myself off a cliff! I can't even get any sleep; he is totally insane and I can't go on like this. I have never felt so miserable in my life. I can take enourmous punishment but this is too much. If it is hell for you, I would suggest figuring out a alternative situation. Time has a way of slipping by very fast and you will turn around one day and it will all be gone. You ever heard that Willy Nelson tune. 'ain't it funny how time slips away'? years roll by fast. Look how fast this year has flown by! It has alredy been a year since Sept. 11 happened. My goodness.

i got some good advice once...."if you are unhappy with your situation, change your circumstances".....if you are unhappily married, get a divorce. it is hard and uncomfortable at first, but you will be happy you did, and you'll be free to pursue something else. perhaps it will be the person you speak so fondly of, and perhaps it will be someone you've not even met yet......but trust me, nothing is worth staying in an unhappy marriage for. i am a cancer female and was married to a taurus for 11 years.....i've been divorced now for 6 years and am oh so glad i made the decision. no one is responsible for your happiness but you. and you are cheating both yourself and your spouse by looking for an affair.

Sometimes or alot of the times leaving a situation is easier said than done! It is scary to be by yourself. Even though it is a bad situation it is better than being alone and scared and you get use to it and just deal with it. I know I have done it myself, for years. I am terrified to be by myself. I don't me that in the worse sense of the word. I mean I get physically ill. I have real fear and anxiety and I would rather stay in a bad realtionship than live alone!!! It is a nightmare either way you go. I cannot describe the mind set and I am in pain, but I am not so afraid that I have chest pain and throwing up and feel like my heart is coming out of my chest! Life does suck! I am screwed either way I go. I have tried sedatives but they are to strong and have a bad effect on me. What am I suppose to do?

Thanks everyone for your advice, it is all appreciated.

In answer to 205 - I stay because I feel she needs me, She is studying at the moment and I am supporting her so there is no way I would leave her without her having security no matter
how unhappy I feel, plus I want her to finish her studies and have a better
job.
I also don't sleep very well which doesn't help. When you are tired and emotional it is harder to figure out alternatives but I know I must.
You are dead right time does slip away fast.I'm sorry you are miserable too, it sounds like it's hard for you to solve the situation as well.

164
Thanks fot your advice too. I'm not looking for an affair. I have never had an affair and I never would.If I met someone else I would hopefully be able to put things in place and leave and have the new relationship honestly.

64
It is scary to be by yourself I understand you can't help how you feel physically. It does take a lot of strength. I really don't have the bottle to hurt people emotionally even if it is my own interests. That is a bit of a personal weakness for me, sometimes you need to make hard decisions in your own interests. Some people can be right bastards, which is not the way to be but we certainly all vary.

Someone told me to be sensibly selfish once. It sounded like reasonable advice.

I will talk again soon.

Take Care.

C.

C?,

You mean to take care of yourself first? Why is that so hard for me to do? I always put myself last. I HAVE decided to do something about this but there is 25 years of tangled life to undo and it takes a little time. I am not married but I feel like I might as well be. Emotionally and sexually I have already left-- a very long time ago!! Five years ago I sat down with him and told him I was not in love with him and that the relationship was over, however, he still is around and unless I make a move he won't. This realtionship should have never started and has lasted way too long. I don't know what it is about me that continues to hang in there when I shouldn't(14 yrs). I will do anything just to keep the peace and pretend like the perfect happy family and it is such a huge lie. I stopped pretending the last (5), but I still let them take advantage of me by living off me. I kept telling myself that they would pull it together(there act) and then leave and be able to start a new life and not be just dumped. I also let him stay because I don't like being alone. I do have a problem with just dumping someone. It feels cruel to do that. I found a support group and I think I will continue going! If I don't do something soon, I will probably never will. I can set and acheive any other goals in my life but not when it comes to realtionships. I will take my time before I committ to one again. I do not want to get stuck like this ever again, it is to damn hard to undo.

Goodluck
I hope you find happiness too C.

And yes time slips away too damn fast. I don't want to look back and see a nother 5 or 10 years wasted!!! I always thought that when I reached 40 I would be at the top of my game. In alot of ways it is. I have gained a certain ease and wisdom and life should is easier, and I have accomplished much. All I have to do is fix this one problem. Geez, who would have thought my biggest accomplishment would be being happy!

Love
Libra woman

Hello Libra,

I tend to put myself last too, I really don't know why. It must be something to do with the way I was brought up, my mother was really unselfish (which was great) but she had an unhappy marriage to my father and somehow along the line I've learned the accomodating bit even when it's not in my interests.
I don't know if it's a bit forward to ask but you mention they, is there a step family or something holding you back as well?
I know what you mean by the "dumping someone" feeling. I can be really unhappy and start thinking of how she would be if I left her, and then I feel sorry for her.
It is strange how hard it is to be just happy, I guess it is not a permanent state anyways just part of many emotions we have , but being in an unhappy relationship is being far too unhappy and definately not good at all for people. You start not to be able to function as well. It probably sounds cliched but right now I would just like some peace and harmony with someone instead of this frustrating day by day existence.
Your partner obviously knows you don't love him anymore and yet he still stays. I think we get used to living this way and just fit in with it. I think I've adapted to being this way but I'm slowly feeling as if all my emotion is being ebbed away and it is definately getting worse. I really need to somehow overcome this weakness and deal with the situation properly. It is quite frightening how you can stay in an unhappy relationship for so long and put up with things you know you just don't want. I guess there is the being alone bit but it surely can't be as bad after awhile as this. I think part of the trouble is that I don't really like to argue and by keeping the peace I do get a certain amount of simulated harmony (it's not real) because if I said what I felt all the time there would be no end of arguments, I don't know, anyways I'm sorry if this is too long.
I do hope you are able to find the strength to reach out on your own and meet someone also who will make you happy.

Take Care.
Love.
C

Hey C!

"I don't know if it's a bit forward to ask but you mention they, is there a step family or something holding you back as well?"

No, there is no step family. He has a daughter and three grandchildren in California but they don't speak to each other. We have no children together.

Your post reaffirmed alot of things I have been feeling. I need to go! When all of this started to come undone, I was in the middle of other major changes in my life, so I took one thing at a time according to importance and now that they have been completed there is no reason not to follow through on ending this long and drawn out unhappy situation.(I may have been stalling?) Maybe without me he will pull it together, he will have to! I don't know. I know I can't do it for him. That is something that he has to make up his mind to do. And I hope to God he does. I wish the best for him only and he will always be a part of me.

Learning not to be so accomodating may take more time learn and also being able to confront unpleansant situations too!

C, you sound like a very sensitive man, so I am sure you will do what is right for everyone in your particular situation!

I wish lots happiness and lots of love!
Love,
A Libra

Hello Libra,

I think that sensitivity is a bit of a double edged sword, it's probably that that keeps me in this relationship instead of being a lot more practical and dealing with it properly, I don't know. But I wouldn't want to be some hard nosed person anyways, you are what you are I guess.

I must say that talking on these posts to you has put a few things in perspectve for me too.
I have not talked to anyone about this, and have been as you mentioned earlier in the "perfect happy family" mode to other people. I don't know how this happens, it sort of creeps up on you. I always promised myself that I wouldn't stay in a relationship (as my mother and father did) if I was unhappy, and here I am, I suppose you hope it will become OK or something.

I'm sure you probably don't want to talk about your relationship everyday and I don't want you to feel that I expect you to respond every day. I must say though that if you do want to talk regularily that is fine too as I think it helps to talk things through with other people and I have found our brief chats very helpful. It would be nice over time to know how you are fairing anyways, so if you do want to leave a message or if I do, I will keep my eye on this "Hard To Know" topic that I have started and use it for a contact site.

Take Care,

If we talk soon great but you do what you want to do.
I wish you lots of happiness and love also and I'm sure you'll find the relationship that you deserve.

Love.
C.

Hi C
I think if you are realy so unhappy in your marriage you should leave. You said you've tried to work at it. If you've realy tried as hard as you can and are getting nowhere it's time to move on. If you both stay together unhappily you may both be misssing out at your chance of true love with someone else. Rather than have an affair with your office colleague, sort your marrige out by either fixing it or ending it. Maybe your colleague is in the same situation. Once you've sorted your marrige out you will then be free to move on and love again.

D

Hi C,

Hope you are doin ok! I have stayed with a support group and I am making some progress. Trying to stay focused and not be distracted by guilt. Have to keep in my mind the big picture and think of the past and present too. I went and looked at rental homes today. Something that is hard to do because you get attached to what you have created, but it's only temporary. I have invested alot of sweat equity into my place and well, I am starting to whine and I don't want to. I have left everything before! Lots of times, but now I am getting older and I want to stay put!

I am determined to make this right and I will not waiver! Mind mind is made up.

C, how is everything with you? Can you see the future you want. I had to visualize where it is I want to be, and then I can try and achieve it!

Talk to me when you want to.

Love,
A Libra

Hello again Libra,

I know what you mean about the house and everything, that's why, as you were saying, it is a bit harder as you get older. You have all these possesions as well, although that is probably the least of the worries, but it is a big task.
I've been trying to look ahead also as to where I'd like to be.

My wife is dependent on me at this stage so I won't be heading off in a hurry, I'd have to work that one out too.
Anyways, I'm seeing a pathway ahead, how it pans out I don't know yet. You have to try remain positive.

It's been good to talk to you again Libra.
I'll talk again soon.

Take Care.

C.

It's been a while since i used this site but i wondered if the Libran lady i talked to nearly two years ago is still reading these messages.
I'd love to talk again.

cheers.

c

Hello C...i was reading your messages and then looked at the date....i cant beleive they are still there after that long....well after reading all...i was wondering what is going on now in your life— Did you ever leave? Sorry to be nosy hahah. but it was very interesting story and the funny this is that you said you were a Gemini with a cancer (acendent) and the girl back then was a Cancer... i am a cancer and my boyfriend of 2 years is a gemini with a cancer (acendent) very similar...i am just curious of how it all turned out? Also when is your birthday? maybe you can even give me some usefull information to help me with my gemini hahah.....well hope to hear from you soon!

I was just checking one of the boards i posted and i see that you were the one who gave me advice for the SEX board.....thanks for the advice...i will try it and let you know ...but you being a gemini man what would you think of this? I am 25 and my boyfriend 33 we have been dating for 2 years and had sex for the first year about 2-3 times a day....he had a good job and everything was going well....he lost his job and lost his license and now we have sex about 1 a month if that...and i am not fat or unattractive but i have felt very insecure and thought maybe he was cheating...because of the no sex and his mood sucked, he was sulking for a while (not being his normal self) he went through alot this year...but i dont think that he would cheat because all he does is work and comes home to me everynight(he is just working for a friend right now till he can get his feet on the ground into something permanent)....when i spoke to him he told me that he just has too much on his mind (he still hasnt found work yet) and he is stressed and that when he gets back in his daily routine and makes money he promises that everything will be fine and that he loves me and has nothing to do with me at all. What do you think? should i just wait it out and see if he gets better and give him his space? and what can i do to make this time better for him...he seems to never want my help..he likes doing everything for himself (very independent)...but i want to make him feel better and not so insecure. He is such a great guy too.

Hello Crabby69,
Unfortunately nothing became of my friendship with my cancer workfriend. She ended up having a baby and leaving work. It took me ages to get over that, you probably never do completely (I loved her so much ). What made it easier was the fact that I ended up not seeing her everyday and I could get the major sorrow out of my system. I still see her (she works part time) every now and again but it has all gone away. It's very sad. I know I just know there was something there, but you know both being married you can understand how difficult that made things. A work situation is very awkward too. I was so unhappy I would have left my wife for her for sure and would have gladly spent the rest of my life with her. But it was not to be, I hope so much that she is happy. I am becoming more content with the fact that at least I met this wonderful woman, and knew her for a brief time in my life.

I did leave my wife (what an upheaval that has been). I have only recently done it. It has taken so long and my unhappiness was becoming totally unbearable. I wanted to leave earlier but, as you may have gathered by my other messages, she was / is studying and had no income so I couldn't just walk out, I wouldn't do that. She now has a small scholarship and I am still paying the bills at our house that she is in. All that still has to be sorted. Still, I have made my move and only the future will tell. You can't live in such unhappiness forever.

My birthday is the 13/6.What date is your boyfriends and yours for interest sake? my cancer love was 5/7.

This is turning into a long message.

To get back to your Gemini questions:
I guess all relationships are pretty full on sexually at the beginning and tend to taper off a bit, but maybe only once a month after only two years is a little lean. I don't wish to pry on a delicate subject but, when you do have sex does it feel meaningful or more going through the motions? and who initiates it? I'll understand if you don't want to answer that but it may be good for yourself to think about.

It really is hard to say why he isn't having a lot of sex with you or if he is cheating. Us Gemini's do need to be happy and feel free (who doesn't I guess) not to leave the other person for another woman but to feel we can go out and be sociable with friends and come back to the nest and have that life too. We definately need that. One of the reasons I became unhappy with my wife was (amongst other things) she could not bear for me to go out without her. I needed some space and she would not give it. In the end she wouldn't even let me go and play soccer without crying and making me feel emotionally guilty. It all became unbearable. All she had to do was trust me and give me more space and I would have been so much more happier. The thing about a Gemini / Cancer ascendent is that we really do like a strong one woman home /base but we also do have that side to us which is the need for the Gemini freedom. Any woman who gave me the freedom to have adequate time to myself would have no problems about me using it to cheat because I love that home side of things so much (that's probably the cancer in me)and love to come back to it.

I think it is an awkward combination that Gemini / Cancer thing. I'm not saying you don't give your boyfriend enough freedom but if he is unhappy it may be in this freedom area that it is coming from. He may not even realise totally himself yet. It took me awhile to realise why I was so unhappy.

All I can say is trust him for awhile and let him have some free space. I know as a cancer you will be so caring and loving but sometimes it can be a little stifling. People don't mean it, but it happens. I'm sure you're not but if you feel you are, then this could be one area that is making him unhappy.

It does sound like there is something. Having no job etc is depressing but it would probably make me even cl

Hello C,

Thank you for the wonderful advice! I think thats what it is in a nutshell. Very funny actually I asked him (prior to reading your response) why he was acting so weird and he explained to me that he felt like he had no freedom. Very weird (your almost like Miss Cleo) hahaha. So I asked him to them explain what exactlly was I doing that made him feel that way and I stopped doing it. Which by the way was when he wanted to go out I would always make a comment about it. But the funny thing is that I never realized that I was doing it or that it bothered him. So is had been about 2 weeks now and I see a tremendous change is his personality. Also his career is moving in the correct direction now too. One other thing too is that even though he said he felt like he had no freedom (granted i used to make stupid little comments once in a while) but i never bothered him at all he is always allowed to do what ever he wants i never actually like got mad or anything...(i even let me go to gogo bars or do what ever he wants i dont restrict anything from him except.....cheating hehe).i kinda think that he assumes being in a commited realtionship means he has no freedom at times? could that be? Anyways your advice was so on the money though.......now that he is in a better mood and he is being alot more affectionate already, i guess i should wait for him to want to have sex now? I tried the other day and he said he wasnt in the mood....(that drives me crazy sometimes)but i hope this all works it self out because he is a really good guy and we complment each other so well.

As for you curiousity my birthday is July 17 and his June 16......he has a cancer rising and i have an aquarius rising......so your birthdays are pretty close to ours......


Well sorry to hear that at that time your relationship didnt work out. And very glad to hear that you are in a new one that you are happy in. I was wondering what sign your Ex wife was if you dont mind me asking. It sounded like she was very insecure in your relationship. Which i know is very hard to deal with.

Well I thank you very much for the advice i look foward t talking with you again!

Hello Crabby69,
I'm so glad things are on the up for you both. It's so important. Just for interests sake I'm not in a relationship at the moment, I think it must have been the two dates that made you think that. The July one was the cancer workfriend's date that didn't work out.
I guess everyone in relationships feels a little that they have lost their freedom a bit from time to time, but if you are pretty committed to someone that probably isn't something that is a big issue. If you really love that other person then you only want to be with them. I think now that he is becoming happier the sex will eventually follow. The emotional connection may have been lost temporarily there and that may take a longer to return. If you continue on the way you are, in giving him space and him having the general feeling that he has not lost himself (which is what can happen when you feel you have lost your freedom, which also means your choices to choose as an individual what you wish to do) then he will slowly feel an emotional attachment again to you and the sex will follow. I know as a Gemini (maybe this applies to everyone)that I can't feel happy in having sex when I have lost that emotional connection with my partner.

My ex wifes star sign is Pisces.
These sort of freedom things are very subtle and people don't realise they are doing it. In fact they only have good intentions a lot of the time, but people feeling that they have lost themselves as individuals in a relationship, usually end up really unhappy until they leave. It's good if you don't let that happen to both of you.

Anyways Crabby69 take care and good luck with it all once again.

Keep in touch and let me know how things are going. If I can be of any help in my own humble way ( given that I may not be right and it is only my opinion) just let me know.

All the best.

C.

P.S. This probably is showing my ignorance but who is Miss Cleo?

Hahah I am laughing so hard at the Miss Cleo thing. She is that ridiculous like rastafarian women who has her own psychic network. She claims to see the future. heheh. I cant believe you dont know who she is, now that I think about it shes not on tv anymore.

Your advice has been very good. My relationship is getting better. I kind of gave him a ultimadem about the sex issue though. I told him I will not say a word about it at all for 2 weeks but in that time he has to come to a conclusion of why he is not in the mood and do something about it. and he was fine with this. So hopefully everything works out well. The having no sex drives me crazy. I am almost 10 years younger then him at my age of 25 and it drives me nuts that he doesnt want sex.

Well anyway I though that you were in a realtionship with a Sag from reading one of your posts a from August. Thats the one I was talking about. What happened with the Sag? My sister is a Sag and she cant seem to keep away from ohter men when she is in a realtionship. If you dont mind me asking how old are you?

Its interesting that your ex wife is a pisces. Your two signs are so different. I am similar to a pisces in certain ways. Did you find her too emotional and needy? Because us water signs are like that haha.

Well Thank you again for the advice it was very helpful and alot of aspects of the relationship are going well. Just the sex now haha. So hopefully everything works out and I will let you know what happen.

D :-)

Hello C :-)

Well guess what? My boyfriend broke up with me and told me that he didnt love me anymore. So now I threw him out of our house because I pay pretty much for everything. But now at least I know why he didnt want to have sex with me haha. I am upset but I guess its the best thing, I just wish he would have told me sooner. I dont get him though....he always told me he loved me even the night before its very strange....I am a nice girl and very attractive and 8 years younger then him.....I dont understand what else he wanted but I guess it doenst matter anymore. Time to move on. I am actually excited though to live completely alone it will be nice :-).

But enough of that how have you been?? Keep in touch.

Sweet-P honey....remember your other friends that live with you....there are 3 of you who live in the house (me, myself and I) nuthin wrong with that! Just think of all the cool things that you can do by yourself -

Bake brownies in the nude...
sing and dance with the vacuum cleaner...
turn your home into a spa and pamper yourself..be the Queen that you are....
read, write, meditate...
smell the flowers...
make your very own romantic dinner and eat by candlelight..
eat chocolate...

Okay gang...feel free to throw in more cool ideas 😉

I totally agree freebird.....I have fun being alone.....hahaha and I think that I do all of the above too. Espeacially the naked cooking and singing with the vacuum cleaner very fun I might add.

Sweet P why are you lonely— I do get lonely sometimes but then you can always call a friend if you are and one of them will come sleep over. you should def try to enjoy it a little more.

I love living alone. Its peaceful and tranquil. I feel very free and relaxed. I admit I do get lonely sometimes but thats only natural.

I baked browinies today 🙂

In the nude? or were you wearing that red see through thingy agian?

I think that Freebird was nude hhahahh

Can't get nothin past you can I—?

I'm a "toot" how cool is that? I love it...thanks Sweet-P and YES of coarse I will adopt you - what a splendid idea...btw, my Grandmother who was a nurse in WW1 was full bred Scottish...what a character she was! A cappy Scott who made the most awesome tea...her and I would have tea parties. She passed away many years ago at 103. I was lucky enough to get two of her tea pots. 🙂 So, c'mon over here and we will hit the town and party hardy...AFTER we have our cookie baking sessions of coarse...imagine that...nudie baking 😉

The "tooting" Freebird

Hello Crabby 69 / D,

I'm sorry I havn't got back sooner.

What can I say but to say I'm so sorry that you're relationship has ended. Mine ended about 4 months ago so I know exactly how you are feeling.
Life certainly has it's ups and downs. It's very hard to know whats going on in another persons head ultimately. I'm sure he loved you at one level.
It would be nice for you I guess if you had a bit more closure, by that I mean if he could tell you what else he wanted. Even if you didn't / couldn't fulfill those needs at least it would be nice to know.
It still sounds to me that somewhere along the line he or you both lost some emotional aspects to the relationship, which on his side meant the no sex thing. I feel for you, you have tried pretty hard to fathom out the problem and I hope that you can maintain strength and go on to meet the type of person you can be happy and content with.

I'm getting used to living alone, you miss little things like having breakfast with someone in the morning for example, but I try to keep busy which helps.

Sometimes and I guess we can't always understand why, but things happen for a reason and as you said it's time to move on, look to the future.

Thank you for the Miss Cleo explanation, I can't say I've ever heard of her.
The sag is a really nice work friend who I really like, but she bewilders me and I don't see anything happening in that area unfortunately. She's friendly with everyone.
When you say your sister can't keep away from other men when she is in a relationship do you mean she has affairs? or is she just really friendly with men because I think Sags are like that by nature and men can get a bit confused by that.I'm a young 50 (whatever that is).

My Pisces wife was very emotional and needy, which I understood and lived with for years, but she has a tendancy to use emotional blackmail which for some reason I didn't get for a long time. As the years went by I gave in to her emotional aspects too much (to keep the peace basically) and lost a bit of myself each time until I got to the point where I felt I was not even me anymore and became quite depressed. I had no choice but to leave, it became impossible. When i didn't have enough emotional energy for me she still seemed to expect it, it was impossible for me. It's all very sad stuff. I don't know how these things creep up on you until they destroy a relationship. When I really started to realise about the emotional blackmail side of things and noticed it even more, I became very dissapointed with her, I would never have used emotional blackmail or manipulation to get another person to do what I wanted.I felt that I had been used a bit or something, I was almost naive about it and using it on someone who thinks that it's all genuine is quite sneaky I feel. I certainly lost an awful lot of warmth to her over time until of course it all ended. I think cancers are sensitive and emotional but I think they are honest in their approach to another person as a whole. There's a difference to being emotional and piling it on as almost a weapon.

Anyways Crabby 69 /D as I said earlier I do feel for you, it's not easy, but talking to people about how you feel always helps I think, so you keep in touch also and take care and look after yourself. In the meantime enjoy the time on your own because you will meet someone else eventually I'm sure.

I'll talk again soon.

All the best.

C.

Hello Crabby 69,

I just wondered if you were still out there and how you were getting on.

Cheers.

C