Heartbroken ....cancer man/ libra woman

I have known a cancer guy since high school.. He found me years ago through Myspace, and then through FB. We've kept in touch through messaging because he's always been away at school. About a year ago our conversations were picking up and found ourselves setting times to be on together so we could chat more. Then this past October he told me he would be coming in town and wanted to get together. He was here for just over a week and we hit it off really good. Since he left and went back to school we have talked and texted EVERY day. EVERY night he called me and we would talk for a few hours before he went to bed.. We've had conversations about each other??s secrets, what we want, that we don't believe in just giving up on people or just walking away from someone, how loyalty and trust is the most important to both of us, ect. He even told me that he would never just walk away. We've told each other countless times we miss each other a lot. He's told me he wished I was there or he was here. He's told me he cares for me and that I'm important to him. We are not in a —relationship?? because of the distance but there are feelings there.

The other day we were online and just having a conversation about what I was going to do the next day. He was silent for a little while and came back on with a whole different attitude and was all —don't worry about me, I'm fine , don't bother?? ??_ I don't know if he was talking to someone else or if I had said something wrong. I asked him if we could talk and I could tell something was troubling him and told him I was there if he wants to talk about it. He told me no he was fine. I told him I care for him deeply and I hated that he was feeling this way and wished that there was something I could do. He told me he cared for me and missed me too. Then he asked why I cared for him, that he wasn't a good person, that he always seemed to hurt people. I told him the reasons why I cared for him and that I thought he was a great person. We talked for a little while longer, and even talked about me coming up for a visit soon. He told me he would like that and it would be really good. Then he said he was going to go to bed.. but he didn't he got back online and told me he was sorry for everything, that he lived so far away all alone and that I should find someone else and I should give up... I asked him doesn't he trust and care for me. He basically told me no.. I asked him to call me back and he did. I asked him on the phone if he trusted me and cared for me and he said yes he does. I told him that I didn't know what was going on and that I wished he would talk to me and that I am always here for him. He said some more things like I should find someone else that he's not worth it. I told him that he was worth it to me and that I don't walk away from people that I care about. I asked him again if he cared for me and he said no.. Now he is ignoring me. I have only sent him one message since this and told him that I wasn't mad at him and that I will always be here for him. That we were friends before these feelings, and I will always be that. He was online all day that day and never said anything back to me.

I am so heartbroken??_ I can't seem to shake the tears.. I care for him so much .. He has been so accepting with the things in my life and the things I have been through. I have been just as accepting with the things in his life and what he has dealt with. Something happened in those minutes where he was silent while online, and I have no idea what happened.. He has always told me things that bother him and I have always been there for him when he has felt this way. I don't know what to do. He hasn't called and is now ignoring me??_I don't know if I should send him a little note, text him to see how he is doing, or say I'm sorry (for what I do not know) I feel like he is either taking something out on me that someone else said or did, or I if I did do or say something wrong. In our conversation he did tell me it wasn't anything I did. So I'm guessing it's something someone else did. I miss him terribly!! Is he just going to keep ignoring me. It hurts to see him so down and not know what to do. Please give me some advice..

he's been in a funk like this before but not to the extent where he has said these hurtful things to me, not called, or ignored me. I did tell him when he told me to find someone else, that I didnt want anyone else.

first off, imo you dont have anything to apologize for so i would not. sharing your feelings with someone, esp. when you are falling for them really hurts when the arent responding the same in return. im sure that he cares about you, but probably cant give you what you need. i can understand where you might be heartbroken from his withdrawal. i am not a cancer but it sounds to me like he is either retreating back into his shell because of insecurity issues or he might have done something that he knew would hurt you...he stated that he didnt think he was good enough for you and to find someone else that was good enough for you. he also stated that he always ended up hurting people. im sorry. if this is the first time you have had your heartbroken, you wont ever forget. time does heal though.