HELLP PLEASE!!!

Hey guys...I'm new to this and honestly hope you guys can help me figure out what's going on! I am a Cancer and interested in a Cancer who has showed some interest in me as well for the past month by giving me his number and when I didn't use it he asked for mine three weeks later.We had our first 'date' last week and it ended with him giving me a rose...Don't get me wrong I'm all for courting and stuff but shouldn't it then be consistent after the first date?Yes we progressed with a week or two in between each step but him seeing the interest is mutual I thought we would be more open to each other!So why is he not contacting me,making plans,being the man etc?The past week has been hell for a cancer like me!I haven't made myself look needy or desperate but I'm sooo craving his attention!HELPP!

Maybe you'd be happier with someone who acts like a real man, according to whatever rules you have in your head.

I agree...I would be much happier with a guy who can see genuine interest when it slaps them in the face...Woman are not to be needy and desperate then they run...but when you show interest while maintaining your independence they run too...Or is this just a plot to illicit the most dramatic response out of me?Throwing myself at him as a last resort?

I agree...I would be much happier with a guy who can see genuine interest when it slaps them in the face...Woman are not to be needy and desperate then they run...but when you show interest while maintaining your independence they run too...Or is this just a plot to illicit the most dramatic response out of me?Throwing myself at him as a last resort?

Haha, it doesn't matter what you say, your last question shows you still crave his interest. This is simple, he's not into you that much and he may be having doubts, maybe because that attitude of "men should be the one approaching women every time", do you even bother to ask him how was his day? or do you wait him desperately all day before talking to him? Do not believe at all the excuse of I have too much work, or things like that, i know a cancer male that is a workaholic and finds little rest periods to talk with his girl. So in other words, the reason must be yourself, he may be disappointed with your reaction.

Now knowing this, up to you how you nurture this relationship.

Posted by raerain
If you are in the initial stages of dating a cancer guy, remember you have to make equal efforts too. Dont let him do all the chasing,these guys love to be chased because then they have the confirmation that you really are interested in them. Instead of waiting for him, why don't you make the first move sometimes?

Thats good advice.

Posted by Aedes
Haha, it doesn't matter what you say, your last question shows you still crave his interest. This is simple, he's not into you that much and he may be having doubts, maybe because that attitude of "men should be the one approaching women every time", do you even bother to ask him how was his day? or do you wait him desperately all day before talking to him? Do not believe at all the excuse of I have too much work, or things like that, i know a cancer male that is a workaholic and finds little rest periods to talk with his girl. So in other words, the reason must be yourself, he may be disappointed with your reaction.

Now knowing this, up to you how you nurture this relationship.

That's just nonsense. A real man pursues you whether you call the cops or not, has a proud rigid erection even if you can't suck for shit and you smell like cigarette butts and can provide and pay for stuff you don't need. We don't even know if that loser has a car or wears a tie. He's probably a sports fan.

Thank you guys so much for your input...Meta you're more right about my situation...For me it is important for him to be the man coz I prefer looking at my mind admirably and looking up to him rather than a price that I won...He needs to chase Me so that I can appreciated us.If it's gonna be all my doing it will not be as deep as I would want it to be.

As for him not being into me,well he's been chasing me a for two months,I went out of the country and came back...contact was never constant but he kept initiating each convo and step even the date out of the blue.The night of the date he asked when he will see me again like 5 times almost begging and I said 'I dunno'..he looked at me with desiring eyes,kissed me and I followed suit,he called me 'sexy' the day after so I do think his into me,for what exactly I don't know yet.
I think it's fair to say that we both are cancers,difficult people to satisfy,we want attention and space...that's what we,well more space than attention but if I should piut on my rose tinted glasses I can say it's a good thing because at least we are getting used to having each other in our lives without the 'smothering' to it.
Who knows,like me he probably is also going over everything lol well a man needs a plan of action right?So let him cook up his next attempt!
I have learned a lady doesn't make herself toooo available doesn't matter how hard it is to hold back...I need his respect,I need him to see me as not desperate or needy...I continue with my life even with the occasional 'what ifs'...if its meant to be,it will...without me having to force it...

Lmao @ mrcrabby

I've been speaking to this, my? lol cancer guy for a year by now and that was my very first experience with a cancer guy... sans past experiences or whatsoever lol And even though I have a fair amount of dating experiences from the past, the cancer guy did perplex me first lol I have never had a trouble with other guys, I just knew to press all the right buttons, but not with the cancer guy LOL!
Well, maybe things were/and still harder lol for me, because I'm partially air sign -a gemini-cancer cusp-?

Being quite aggressive is my nature so I have been that way toward him lol (I do not mind at all taking initiatives and a lead to begin with, by the way.) I could see him enjoying it whilst shying away, which confused me greatly in the beginning and through the half year... then after that things became quite stable :O He has disappeared twice, firstly for two months, then for a week, but then I told him it was rude and inconsiderate of him to just go pfft like that, especially after very small quarrels (well, to me they were small, but probably not to him. I've learnt that he truly dislikes confrontations, so when one is about to present, he rather goes pfft? :S), he came back, apologised and since then has not vaporized into thin air lol Now I've a feeling that we will be in each others lives for a quite long time... I don't know lol we sort of reached a conclusion we might be better off as friends lol although, still figuring things out ... anyways, either we end up being a couple or friends, I get a feeling that he does care about me lol He listens to me rant on and on and at the end he comforts me, I cry and he lends me a shoulder to cry on 🙂

So I don't know... in my case, I was aggressive lol then tried to understand him a bit but then others times I just snapped, like 'oh fuck!' and vented on lol confronted him... he got pissed, went away for hours, a day or two, but he came back. I later apologised for bursting my angers out, though, of course.

It took time lol in my case, I have not met this guy in person lol so that's probably why it took this long? :S
I think he likes it when I say that I thank him for this and that (usually me thanking him for listening to my rants, angry raps lol), so probably show him that you appreciate him? And be direct about it?

My cancer guy recommended me tons of movies he watched & liked lol and just the other night asked me if I wanted to play simcity with him online lol So probably try to do some activiti

es he enjoys together, also.

Just my two cents lol

@Mrcrabby has a good point lol.

As a Virgo I don't initiate much in relationships...I'm just really not aggressive at all. Im really in tuned with my femininity.

As a result, it makes my cancer have to be dominant in the relationship. He admitted that he likes doing the pursuing & planning dates...makes him feel like a man!

Therefore, I tend to encourage the behaviors I desire from him. I'll tell him "I love how you take charge". What I'm doing is letting him know that him leading is very pleasing to me.

My point is, tell a cancer man regularly, how sexy/ attractive he is when he pursues you. Instead of saying "I hate you don't ask me out". "Why don't you do the things you used to."

The smallest things he does for you, tell him you LOVE or LIKE it. And when you get home, after every single date, tell him "tonight was perfect, you're the best". Don't be an eager beaver & say, "let's spend all day tomorrow & the next day together". Just end the night, let him savor it & trust me he WILL plan another date.

Lastly, my advice for any woman is be careful about sharing the "masculine role". You might find yourself doing all the work. There are men that love to be the MAN. Don't take that away from them.

Great advice!
Well I'll be sure to mention that in a more direct way next time when I see him!

^^ thank you 🙂

A year and you haven't met in person. What exactly do you call that?

^ I don't know lol we don't know yet. Need to meet in person to say what it really is. Till, then I guess it's friendship-like thing for now.

So the latest on my cancer dude is that he's still taking his time to figure things out and so am I in the interim....We have moved passed the lust stage where the advances for sex were made!Well done to me!He knows not to cross that bridge so bluntly/discreetly again...My feelers are out and waiting to snap!

He's still around with the occasional text...I'm hoping for a date though...In the next two weeks I foresee it to happen...As my mental notes recall every advance happened in a two week time frame lmao!

Looking forward to the date though...Will be awesome flaunting my sexy self and him knowing to keep it down!

Well you are just getting to know each other. Sounds like he really likes you. Try to cool your jets and go with the flow cuz.....

You got the fish on the hook.
Now throw out the line.

good luck!

@Estee

It took a lot of patience and self control (not initiating contact after the first date,not easy lol)to get him on that hook so I definately do not plan on ruining it with a wam bam loose your femininity get stuck with shame scenario...
I'm out to have fun as we are seeing each other tonight...

Let's see how tonight goes!

^^ Oh wow !! You're totally making me feel shy right now lol.

You're so sweet...Thank you 🙂

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by Aedes
Haha, it doesn't matter what you say, your last question shows you still crave his interest. This is simple, he's not into you that much and he may be having doubts, maybe because that attitude of "men should be the one approaching women every time", do you even bother to ask him how was his day? or do you wait him desperately all day before talking to him? Do not believe at all the excuse of I have too much work, or things like that, i know a cancer male that is a workaholic and finds little rest periods to talk with his girl. So in other words, the reason must be yourself, he may be disappointed with your reaction.

Now knowing this, up to you how you nurture this relationship.

That's just nonsense. A real man pursues you whether you call the cops or not, has a proud rigid erection even if you can't suck for shit and you smell like cigarette butts and can provide and pay for stuff you don't need. We don't even know if that loser has a car or wears a tie. He's probably a sports fan.

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You don't need to be that rude. Anyways, every situation is different, and yes if a man want's you he will go for you no matter what. But that is either he's very physically attracted to you, or he knows you well to be very interested. But if women never learn to speak up their minds, mm, it's not gonna work.

Posted by ShellShock
Hey guys...I'm new to this and honestly hope you guys can help me figure out what's going on! I am a Cancer and interested in a Cancer who has showed some interest in me as well for the past month by giving me his number and when I didn't use it he asked for mine three weeks later.We had our first 'date' last week and it ended with him giving me a rose...Don't get me wrong I'm all for courting and stuff but shouldn't it then be consistent after the first date?Yes we progressed with a week or two in between each step but him seeing the interest is mutual I thought we would be more open to each other!So why is he not contacting me,making plans,being the man etc?The past week has been hell for a cancer like me!I haven't made myself look needy or desperate but I'm sooo craving his attention!HELPP!

If he vanished off the face of the earth, then you need to find other ways to occupy your time.

Waiting for him to call or write will only make you transform into a crazy person.

Do some yoga, go shopping with your friends, study more often, go on a date with another guy, etc...

Find ways to stay busy.

If he's worth your time, then he will call.

If he doesn't call or write, then hang onto your emotional concerns and put them into your gas tank for additional propulsion through life.