Help from Cancer Man

Ok this might seem stupid but I thought maybe advice from another Cancer man would be helpful. I am not a kid, I am 42 but I love my Cancer man with every breath I have. We have had a hard 2 years but I have stuck with him. I am not perfect I do admit my flaws to him and try and change but the last 5 months have been really hard. He got a business and recently him and his partner had a falling out. I found out he is going to Exotic massage places. I know he hasn't actually had sex but he is getting " happy ending" massages as they call them. We haven't had sex in probably 1 month and that time we did he didn't even get it up for me. I feel like its me like hes not attracted to me. I am no beauty but I am not ugly where you couldn't have sex with me. I brought it up to him that we are not having sex and he said physically he cant. A month ago I wrote him a nice letter saying I can see you don't want me, but I will always be here, even if your not with me, I will be here to help you with your business cause that's the kind of person I am . Since then he hasn't really even kissed me or touched me but he talks all the time about going away with me and future things. My question is how can you go to a massage place but not be with me. I am so confused about him. I don't want to give up because I wasn't raised that way to judge people. Maybe hes going through something I don't know.

I just don't know if its over in his head and that's why hes doing this or if its just his way of escaping.

Are you a Pisces by any chance?

no I am a Virgo....I am just so lost and the very thought of my life without him makes me so sad. Hes my family and hes so sweet when hes not being an ass. If he really wanted to he can go out and find a new girlfriend but hes not so its so confusing me. Awww I hate to give up, but I know most women would say well if hes doing things like this hes cheating or he doesn't care for you. But they are so complex.

Why did you write this:

"I can see you don't want me, but I will always be here, even if your not with me, I will be here to help you with your business cause that's the kind of person I am"

That would piss me off.

But you turn around & say this...
"I am just so lost and the very thought of my life without him makes me so sad"

Stop trying to play an unnecessary emotional martyr.

I don't understand what you mean. I wrote that letter because he wouldn't talk to me. It was several weeks and we talked about breaking up. I am not perfect as I said and don't know how to say the right things to him. I just hate when he plays the silent treatment with me. I have learned over the years that I have to give him his space and let him be...that I have worked on , it took a lot for a Virgo to do as we like to know everything. Pearl I understand I say the wrong things, the issue is his doing things that are not usually whats involved in a relationship.

You having a knack for saying the wrong things isn't helping either and could potentially be the downfall for a relationship with a Cancer but I'll digress and point out that you saying "I am not perfect" concerns me because usually when someone says that it's equivalent to "Everyone makes mistakes" which is a dismissive confession and leads me to believe they cause a lot of drama.

If this is all truly business related then it follows, for a Cancer, if the money isn't right than we won't be either.