How to make amends with Cancer?

Hi all,

I hope you can help me - I am a Leo female who dated a Cancer man early in the year. At the time it was going great but I am going through some personal issues. I've been working on these problems with the hope of having better friendships,relationships and it seems to be working. I backed away from the relationship- told him I had made the choice to move to study an MA in theater. - He backed off. However he kept in touch with me. Since then I decided that the MA is not what I wanted and now am staying. We are now in this show together and at first I could tell he still liked me - or maybe Im reading too much into it - however I kept freezing up around him. He tried one last time and saw me hesitate. Since then he's been pursuing someone else. I of course am jealous and just don't know how to handle it. He's not nasty, at one time he even hugged me -we just keep away from each other. However sometimes I can tell he's mad at me. Other than just giving him his space any advice?

c'mon, leo girl... step up to the plate! ask him outright what the deal is. ask him if u could talk to him somewhere private for a minute and confront the issue. let him know how u feel, where u stand, then ask him directly what he wants. if he starts doing the side-ways walk with u then u can make a decision on whether or not to continue. i always feel better when i know where i stand with a person. if i know it's not gonna happen, or he's trying to make me wait around for him to make up his mind, i can more easily detach because i know i deserve better. normally i would advise against getting too emotional but i think cancers like that stuff.

Thank you for hitting the courage button 😉
Two things - I think he may moved on because I haven't made up MY mind- I keep wondering why I hesitated. I mean, I have pretty good instincts, I know he finds me attractive (which is always nice) but I get the sense his friends might think Im weird - nice but weird and thats never a good sign. You know cancers they have high standards.

ah, not necessarily. trust me, i'm a TOTAL weirdo! my aqua rising only adds to my weirdness.

i know a cancer man that is really into me. he's very very cancer too. he absolutely adores me and appreciates my weirdness. even though i can stand out like a sore thumb when we're out in public he admires me for it. he actually wants to be seen associating with me. he wants me to touch him and pretty much smother him. i'm like a fashion accessory for him. in fact, i remember one time we were hanging out at my best friend's apartment. i said i had to change (meaning i needed to change clothes) he responded with,"no! don't do that. i like u the way u are!" he was being serious too. he didn't know i was referring to my clothes. age and maturity might play a role too. the cancer that likes me is in his 30's. ppl in general tend to care more about what others think when they're younger. young ppl are still trying to fit in. as u get older u start to care less because ur more comfortable with urself. i don't know ur age but it just seems like u guys might be in ur early to mid-20's.

whatever the case, the more confidence u have within urself, the more that image will be projected and will be appreciated by others even if they don't understand u.

why in the world do you care what his friends think?

why do you freeze up? no man, regardless of sign, wants to be with a woman who freezes on him and rejects his advances. that is common sense.

why would you give him space...i mean you give space when you are in a relationship....if you give space when you are not in one, you are merely assuring you never will be.

Posted by tinlizzie
Thank you for hitting the courage button 😉
Two things - I think he may moved on because I haven't made up MY mind- I keep wondering why I hesitated. I mean, I have pretty good instincts, I know he finds me attractive (which is always nice) but I get the sense his friends might think Im weird - nice but weird and thats never a good sign. You know cancers they have high standards.

move on to a Leo or a Sagittarius, you'll feel more at home.

All- first of all thanks for taking the time-

Leo Kitten - Im tired and emotional so forgive me if this response hits the wrong button but after reading your message I want to both go cry in a corner and at the same time (defensively) tell you to take a leap. In answer to the others question I'm 39, isn't that lovely. I am trying and learning to work things out so that I'm not acting like an a*& and not hurting him or hurting any type of friendship we could have. Apparently it becoming clear I should probably just start simple friendships. Maybe I bit off more than I could chew. Thats what I came on here for to ask if my behavior is mature. It just confusing because I have yes refused his advances but now am angry that he has moved on...thats just nuts. And sitting on the outside while he does all the work - I mean what the heck..
It all mute anyway - last night he and she were twirling around and being happy and loving and its soo hard to watch. It just feels like a reflection on me. Im so self involved I can't be happy that he and she are happy. And at the same time there is a side that is a little relieved.

If I was more secure I wouldn't care what his friends thought but I cared because I knew they are very important to him. If they didn't approve I didn't want to make things uncomfortable for all.

Ninjamu- yes its sounds like we are in our 20's - we both have joked that we are not very good at relationships - obviously 😉 But I'm trying to keep a good sense of humour and hopefully will be able to enjoy that same type of happiness and romance I see around me.

I just read cancerGermini and yes - before I start kicking myself too much I might just be playing in the wrong pool. Some people just don't jive.

Thanks again all.

Tinlizzie IMO I don't think it's a matter of being weird, if he believe you were too weird to be in his inner circle he would have never ever allowed you in his life, you seem to be making up reasons why you were too afraid to be vulnerable around this man, your self esteem is low for whatever reason and normally when a woman self esteem is low she goes out of her way to hurt herself and push people away, it seems your attempting to find a negative reason outside of yourself by why he's moved on when in all actuality it's a matter of you rejecting him so take some responsibility and accountability for your behavior and move on

He attempted more than once to gain your affection and because for whatever reason you froze up which most likely felt like disinterest and rejection to him, he decided to move on and give you some space and you really should try to be happy for him, you may get another opportunity but not right now.

You said earlier you are working on your relationships, seems you might have a pattern of self sabotaging behavior, you get what you want and then you find reasons why you shouldn't want it, it's clear you have some emotional issues as well, I encourage you to continue working on yourself, the timing may just not be right for you and it's a sign you need to remain focused on yourself before you can allow someone into your life.

therapy. that is the answer. you are 39 and acting like you are 14. find the reason why and keep moving.

Thank you very much. I had another friend, who was actually trying to help me with this relationship tell me the same thing. I have a problem sabotaging.

I've been seeing a therapist to get help with these things. I do take accountability - its very embarassing to be so "seen" - but if its the way to get more heathy loving relationships thats fine.

Does anyone have suggestions where I could go to find help with relationships?

As always thank you all soo much.