i think i got caught in his pincers

i dunno what the hell happened? all of a sudden i find myself starting to fall for my close cancer male friend.

he used to try and court me in an old-fashioned way but we ended up as friends. my feelings just weren't there with him for a long time.

somewhere along the way he either changed or he finally became uber comfortable with me. he's much more aggressive with me now. more manly acting. i feel like he's really paid attention to our conversations because he's becoming the man i've always told him i liked. this all started after i broke things off with my taurus. it's like he's slowly seeping into my heart cuz now i find myself craving his presence more.

i am concerned though. he's always wanted me for his own & that much i know. i am just worried that he's moulding himself to be this guy that he thinks i want just to make that a reality. he knows my kinks, & it involves dominance, but he also knows that i prefer someone genuine above all. i'm worried i'm falling for a facade. lame.

most likely you are right but what's the harm in enjoying it while it's available, just b/c it isn't real doesn't mean you can't take in the whole experience minus getting attached....

one more thing i found interesting/weird.

only a few weeks ago we had an issue with a mutual leo girl friend. she was his occasional booty call. she and i got to texting one day, & she must have been emotional, and she flew off the handle with jealousy regarding the tight relationship he and i have. i told him about this right away (she obviously fell for him, he didn't, wanted to inform him so he could do the right thing). during this discussion the jealousy factor was brought up. i asked him how he would feel if i was the one acting like that if i was in her position. he said,''well, it would mean that u actually cared.'' i asked him if he was being serious and he just shrugged and said,''well...''

do cancers want their (potential) mates to be jealous? he doesn't seem to show any jealousy over me when we're out and i get hit on. he doesn't want a thing to do with my taurus but doesn't act jealous of him either. he thinks jealousy equals caring/love but isn't the jealous type himself? interesting.

Posted by ninjamu
''well, it would mean that u actually cared.'' i asked him if he was being serious and he just shrugged and said,''well...''

do cancers want their (potential) mates to be jealous? he doesn't seem to show any jealousy over me when we're out and i get hit on. he doesn't want a thing to do with my taurus but doesn't act jealous of him either. he thinks jealousy equals caring/love but isn't the jealous type himself? interesting.

Yeah, I would encourage jealousy. He was probably trying not to show it with that shrug.

I dunno, I kind of think his approach is well thought out and effective...Showing jealousy towards a woman that isn't technically his gives her power over him and lowers his status as a dominant in control partner but molding oneself to fit the others needs is a more effective approach and if done correctly and sincerely can work, done effectively you will choose him which is obviously working thus this post...he's not going to put himself in a low position and kill his chances of getting the woman of his choice by being jealous but being confident, showing a side of himself that is in control, not attached, patient is way more appealing to women and brings more successful results....I say he's taking the better most effective approach, go under the radar and let you fall in love on your own.

i understand what ur saying, tiki, but it's all wrong for someone like me. i may prefer my man being dominant, and i am falling for his strategy, but knowing that it's inegenuine is a total turn-off at the same time.

i don't want him to change for me or to conform to my tastes. if it's not who he is then so be it. we're just not right for each other. i'm ok with that. i've been in his position before.

i'm willing to proceed and have fun with this. i won't deny i'm liking it. i just want us on the same page. i re-iterated that i do honestly like nice guys and would not be close to him if he were a douche/asshole. i'm just kinky plain and simple. my taurus had it down pat but cancer has never played like this and is inexperienced.

wait, this sounds like it could be more fun than i realized... good times!

whose to say because of your unavailability he was holding back and now that the taurus is out of the picture he's showing you that part of himself that he was unsure of showing before because this other guy was around, IMO and I'm not here to convince you of anything but I believe he may be genuinely showing you a side of himself....Don't read too much into men, you know that, I really don't have to tell you that, keep it simple, he's showing you a side of himself that he NOW wants you to see because your available....it really could be that simple... Let him be him and if you don't feel he's genuine then don't get attached to any of it, their is probably even more you know nothing about because maybe you were so caught up over the taurus that you never noticed these qualities in him.

If he's not sinister in intent then he's harmless....have fun and be able to move on if you have to.

right-o. good plan, tiki. i actually did think this might be a latent side to him which is why i'm going along for the ride. i really don't know all of him yet. i'm sure he held back some. i'm starting to get turned on by the idea that he even has a strategy and tactics. i like surprises. i am a ninja after all.

go for it and have fun! cancers can be aggressive if they really want something/one. i know i definitely can be, which is also what i think startles the other party because they aren't expecting it.